10/07/11

 

 

Today I get to explore eight fears.

I will be quite honest... this topic will be for another post in the near future, but for today I am going to keep it somewhat light.  It is Friday and we don't need anything too heavy for today.  :)

1.  I fear gaining weight.

There, I said it.  Yep, that is a fear of mine.  

Now, before you call in intervention and think I need counseling for this, please hear me out.

When I was young I didn't have to think a thing about what I ate.  I could eat that whole box of Ho-Ho's that I just love and I wouldn't gain an ounce.

Then came married life.

Then came twins.

Of course, when I was pregnant with the twins I didn't gain but 33 pounds and actually lost all of that fairly quickly.

The hard time of weight gain hit when Steve lost his job in late September 2001.  The way he and I comforted each other during those months without a job was with chocolate chip cookie dough... baked into cookies... about six every night.  Yeah, that'll put the pounds on ya.

I lost weight in 2003 only to gain it all back... and then some.  I had 30 pounds to lose.

In 2007, after busting out of my "have you lost weight?" pants, I knew it was time to do something.  I lost 30 pounds and had kept it off ever since.

Well, kept it off until about 6 months to a year ago when the doctor prescribed me medicine that had the side effect of weight gain only I didn't realize it until I had packed on some extra not-so-happiness.  I have since been able to stop the medication, but the pounds are wanting to spend quality time with me.  They just like me so much.

I have been walking for my sanity, and it has also been to help with this.  However, each week when I look at the scales the same numbers stare at me.  It was like when I turned 40 in June my body started laughing as it gained the weight and decided it would stay cemented to me.  

I am learning to "weight on the Lord" with this.  A friend gave me that as a way to encourage me.  I am learning this process may take longer than it did a few years ago when I was able to lose, but I'll get back to where I need to be.  I really like my clothes in my closet and do not wish to buy more.

2.  I fear that part of my post was too long.  Are you still with me?

3.  I fear getting run over by cars/trucks on the main road by our house as I walk to the subdivisions across the street.  No, really.... there are some people out there who don't care that you are on the side of the road walking as carefully as you can.  They just want to blow you off of it.  At least I get to feel the wind rushing through my hair as they pass.

4.  I fear snakes.  We had one in our house a couple of years ago, you know.  Last year as I was taking pics of one of my best friend's daughters at a local nature park, my own Mikayla mentioned that she observed that a snake was nearby.  All I heard was "snake" and I gripped my camera with a death grip and ran away, nearly knocking over my best friend and Mikayla while leaving her daughter to fend for herself.  So much for laying down my life for those I love...

5.  I fear taking bad pictures.  Yeah, yeah, yeah... I hear all of you and what you are thinking or saying to the computer right now, but it is true.  It is that perfectionist in me.  I always look at them and think people are going to hate certain ones.  I know I need to move past that.  I'm just trying to keep it real.

6.  I fear losing my children and husband.  OK... I got in a serious one here.  I don't think I need to explain that one.

7.  I fear spiders and any other thing that could possibly crawl on me.  If you were to ever observe me on the lawnmower in the summer when I have looked down and seen something on me, you would enjoy the show.  I usually am frantically brushing off whatever it is and the mower is going in crooked rows.  So much for that perfectly manicured lawn.  And to think, I have to teach about insects and other creepy crawly things every year and get excited over them.  Well, come to think of it, I DO get excited to see them when they are in a place where they can't get out....

8.  Last but not least.... I fear... dark chocolate being discontinued and never made again.  :)