Quiet at Christmas

There is not a lot of quiet at Christmas.

I find the older I get, the more I desire quiet. 

Christmas has become so busy and it continues to increase each year.  The introvert inside of me cries out for slower-paced living.  It desires more of a reflection of what Christmas is about.

There are parties, programs, traditions, and memory-making moments.  These are all wonderful and have their rightful place, but sometimes I wonder is this what Christmas really should be?

Give yourself a few quiet moments and join me as I share my thoughts on quiet at Christmas.

This past weekend we had our candlelight service at our church.  It was a time of learning more about our Lord and Savior, but also time to be still, quiet, and yet worshiping the One who came.

I loved it.  I could have sat there with my little battery-powered candle for longer.  I enjoyed the time of focus being on quiet contemplation before the Lord in a softly lit space without the distractions of the busyness of life.

After a continually busy week, today I am finally able to have a day at home - and for the most part I am all alone.

However, I am not really all alone.  I have the One with me Who did come as a baby so long ago...

Emmanuel - God WITH us.

Do we truly take time to ponder the fact that God is WITH us?  God the Father sent His only Son to earth to redeem us to Himself.

That little baby that Mary held would one day bear the weight of MY sin on the cross of Calvary.

That baby.

Can you imagine what Mary felt as she held the Savior?  She had a lot to endure in her waiting as she was considered an outcast by her people for expecting a child before she was married to Joseph.  She had probably dealt with a lot of ridicule.

Now, here she was - many miles away from home in Bethlehem.  An innkeeper told Joseph and Mary he had no room for them in his inn.  Too much was going on in Bethlehem with the census.  Too much busyness.  How many of us have been just like that innkeeper and not had any room for Christ at Christmas?  How many people have no room for Him at ANY time of the year?

The stable was not the optimal place for a baby to be born - let alone the Savior of the world.  Here the Christ child was born - the One Who left Heaven's throne to become one of us.  Emmanuel.

I have to wonder if the stable was at least a quiet place.  It had to have been away from the hustle and bustle of the middle of Bethlehem.  I have to also wonder if the animals knew that something special and amazing was happening.  Were they more quiet that night?

Mary holds baby Jesus for the first time.  She checks out his hands and feet just as I did when I had my two babies.  Even though she knew Jesus came to save us, did she really understand the pain He would suffer for her sake - for my sake?  Those sweet hands and feet would one day be pierced through and He would hang on a cross to redeem His people from sin.  This Momma is reflecting on how Mary kept all of those things in her heart.

Joseph is in awe of this miracle before Him.  I am sure He felt as any new parent - clueless as to what to do next, but overjoyed at the new life before him.  This new life Joseph was looking down upon would one day bring NEW LIFE to all who believe in what He did on the cross of Calvary - and in His resurrection.  This new life is new every morning in my own life because of my Lord's faithfulness.

Those lowly shepherds - the first to hear of the Savior's birth - were so excited to see him they immediately searched for him.  Mary and Joseph had to have been surprised with these men bumbling their way into the stable.  Jesus, our Shepherd, was visited first by shepherds.  Those shepherds, who watched over sheep, were the first to see the Lamb of God which takes away the sins of the world.  They could not wait to tell others of what they had seen.  Am I telling others of what I know of my Savior?

The Wise Men - they were on a journey to find what they had been reading about in Old Testament Scriptures and observing in God's Creation.  They found Him - as they were led to Him by light of Creation.  They presented Him valuable gifts of gold, frankincense and myrrh.  What gifts do I pour out before my Savior each day?  Am I committed to my journey to seek Him with all of my heart?

Simeon in the Temple - He was able to see the Savior.  He knew Jesus would be a light to lighten the Gentiles.  It makes me reflect differently on the lights on my Christmas tree - what a picture of Christ.  He illuminates my heart through His Word so that I may know Him more.  He is the Light in this dark world and I am to follow His example.

Let's not forget that manger in which Jesus was laid.  The Lord has shown me a deeper perspective of that manger this year.  Jesus was laid in a manger made out of rough wood - He was nailed to a cross made from rough wood.  In the humility of His birth He came - and in the cruelty of His death He saved.  And He did it all for you and me that we might "know Him and the power of His resurrection." Philippians 3:10a

Without Christmas there would be no Cross.

Without the Cross there would be no Resurrection.

In each moment of birth, death, and resurrection - there was Quiet. 

Take the time to be Quiet at Christmas before the One Who gave all for you.

".... in quietness and confidence shall be your strength....."  Isaiah 30:15

Praise Him At Midnight

It is Thanksgiving time.

Sometimes it is so easy to list of all of the things for which we are thankful.

We often list the obvious:

• home
• family
• food
• vehicles
• health

The list could go on and on with all of the "things" we have in our lives.  Do not get me wrong - all of those things should definitely cause us to be thankful.

But what about if the Lord doesn't give us certain things?

What if our health fails?

What if things do not work out they way we think?

I have continued to study the book of Philippians in my quiet time with the Lord.  We began this study in Sunday School and the Lord led me to go further in it on my own.

Sometimes when we hear a familiar Bible story, we take for granted all of the little nuggets of God's truth that are in it.

My study in Philippians actually began in Acts 16 with understanding about the city of Philippi and how Paul and Silas ministered there.  I have always loved teaching my students from Acts 16.  It has always been encouraging to me to see how Paul and Silas were imprisoned unfairly and yet they chose to worship the Lord in jail.

As I have studied more closely, the Lord deepened my understanding of just how badly Paul and Silas had been treated.  Not only were they in a horrible jail without true cause, but they had been beaten.  I cannot imagine how they must have felt and how bad the conditions would have been.
However, God's Word records how Paul and Silas chose to praise the Lord and sing to Him at midnight in the darkest prison cell.  While in that cell they were able to share their faith in the dark where others could hear their praise even though they could not see them.

 In Paul's writing in Philippians, he speaks so much about joy.  He writes all of this to the Philippians while being in jail - again.  Philippians 2:13-16a has become a section of Scripture I have been meditating on as of late:

for it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure.

Do all things without grumbling or disputing, 

 that you may be blameless and innocent, children of God without blemish in the midst of a crooked and twisted generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world, 

holding fast to the word of life, 

Do all things without grumbling or disputing?

ALL things?

Even if the Lord doesn't work things out in the way YOU wanted - and you are walking this life "in the dark"?

Paul could write those words with confidence because he had lived them.  He had seen how the impact of their choice to praise the Lord at a very dark time brought many to Christ in Philippi.  Even  none of the other prisoners left the prison when the Lord sent the earthquake!  I wonder if those prisoners were in awe of Paul and Silas for their true faith and thanksgiving during such a hard time?

Are you praising the Lord in the darkness as Paul and Silas did in that jail cell?

I have been asking myself all of these questions.  As I have pondered God's Word I have begun to see where I need more of the "singing at midnight" and less of my own grumblings.  I must see all things as an opportunity to show praise to the One who works in me for His pleasure.

We all have times of "darkness" in our lives.  There are times we do not understand what the Lord is doing or why He has placed us in a particular situation.  God always has a purpose as He sees what we do not.

When we choose to praise the Lord in the hard "midnight" times of our lives we actually become brighter lights for Him.

This Life I Live

***I have had the hardest time with this post.  I have struggled with putting into words what the Lord has taught me more deeply in the past few weeks.  I also struggled with the formatting.  I am trusting and praying the Lord will still use my feeble attempt for His glory.***

I have photographed these silos a zillion times throughout the years.  No matter the season or time of day - they have always been beautiful to me.

I can remember as a child watching my Daddy and Uncle cut silage and shoot it up into these last-standing monuments of days gone by.

I can remember smelling the silage juice and Mom telling me I had to "wear it off" when I had gotten into it after she told me not to!

I can remember the silage flying out the top as the wind carried some of it when it was being loaded into the silos - and it looked like it was snowing in August.

I can remember trying to climb them - and watching my Daddy climb them as if it were nothing. 

I can remember that we always called the taller one "Daddy" and the smaller one "Momma."

Good memories.  Good life.

Recently, those silos have become old and parts of the metal piping have fallen off.

The cement has cracked.

The re-bar is showing.

It causes sadness in my heart.

The Lord had to give me a deeper perspective in what I thought was my life.

The weekend of baking for the NC State Fair was interesting - we had a hurricane blow through.  Although we did not face what was dealt the coastal regions, we still had a lot of rain and wind.  Many lost power and more.  The Lord graciously allowed us to have power back and resume the baking.

In the evening of the Sunday, when we had almost finished up the baking, we felt/heard something that we knew was not "normal."  I will be honest, my first thought was that my Daddy had fallen again - he and Mom were down with us as we baked so we could share in making memories.  Thankfully, it was not Daddy.

However, whatever it was caused the whole house to shake.

We knew it was probably an issue caused by the hurricane.  We wondered what home nearby was affected.  What we saw when we went outside began to show me more deeply about this life I live.

One of the silos was different.  One of the silos was not right.

It was "Daddy" silo.

As we ran over to check out what had happened, we found that the base of the silo had imploded on itself.  That was what shook the house.  The lower 4-8 feet had crumbled and caused it to fall.  It was still standing, but with a lean.

It would never be the same again.

My heart was crushed as I realized this meant that the silo may have to be torn down.

At that moment - and for some days afterward - I felt as if my life - the farm, my Daddy, the silos, were all crumbling around me.  In fact,  it occurred to me that "Daddy" silo had fallen - and my own Daddy had fallen a year ago - and life really was not the same any longer.

As I had tearful moments because of how sentimental I am, the Lord began to deepen in my heart about this life I live.  

All these things on earth that have been so much a part of my life will pass away, crumble, and fall. What lasts is Who is IN me.

Christ.  

The Lord had actually been working on this in me for some time.  He had given me this verse in a new way a couple of years ago and I have been "chewing" on it ever since:

Galatians 2:20 ~  

I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself up for me.

Just like our silo, the Lord is continuing to allow my old self to crumble so that I may realize more and more that I must live my life by faith in the One Who gave His life for me.  

How many times do we put our faith in the things of this world that will one day go away?  These things are temporal, yet we hold on to them as if they give us life.

I was reminded recently through a sermon I heard from my Pastor, that when we find our life in Him we can have:

• Peace with God
• Access to God
• Hope with God
• Christian Character
• God's love within us

There is no way anything on this earth can compare to that growth of faith in the Lord!  

As I have contemplated what the Lord has shown me, He recalled this song to my heart.  I decided to make a video and put it with pictures of the farm. 
For most people, this would not be that special, but for me it is an understanding that I must lay down this life I live in the flesh, and continually trust and follow Christ.

What comfort to know that no matter what may fall away and crumble in this life, Christ lives in those who know Him, and He will never go away.

Chasing Dead Leaves

I have been chasing dead leaves and it took a butterfly to show me.

 

This morning, after a busy, busy few weeks of school, I slept in late and finally had more than a few moments to spend with the Lord.

He led me to just what I needed - and as I was "chewing" over it and contemplating what He was teaching me, my eyes focused on butterflies chasing each other outside my window.  

I was mesmerized by them.  I thought of how freely they were moving and enjoying the beautiful day.  

I decided to get up from my chair and open my front door to watch them more closely.  I made sure I opened the door quietly so as not to scare off any creatures.  

Except, when I opened the door, I saw that they had gone away from just seconds before!  I hate I had missed them!

But then, the Lord drew my eyes closer to our front steps.  There, I found a beautiful yellow butterfly flitting among the pink petunias.  The area was so alive and vibrant!  I decided I needed to capture this beauty so I went for my camera.

A few seconds later I saw those "butterflies" again - but closer this time.  

I realized what I had mistaken as beautiful butterflies chasing each other were actually dead leaves caught up in a mini whirlwind. 

It was then, the Lord began to use the Scripture He had already shown me, with the picture from His Creation before me, to teach me I had been chasing dead leaves instead of butterflies.

Since school has begun, I have been non-stop.  

Such is normal for a school teacher and mother.  It is life.  It is what I always expect this time of year.

However, this year I have felt more stress than before.  I think it has been a combination of things - older kids, more responsibilities with them, my regular students/parents and the normal time of getting to know them, responsibilities of teaching and what that requires, my parents' health not what it once was, my desire to get in 10,000 steps each day.... 

I think you get the picture.  

In all of that, I have felt recently that I didn't even really like MYSELF.  I have felt empty and stretched.  I have felt a bit "dead" - and caught up in the whirlwind of life.

I have had my daily time with the Lord, but I will be honest - it has been reading but not a lot of applying each day.  I am currently reading through the Scriptures in chronological order, and while that is important and I am learning from it, I have found I haven't gotten to STUDY the Scriptures deeply.  Then, when I have had a moment, I have just been too tired to absorb what He wanted to show me.

Until today with my Scripture reading and a butterfly.

He gave me Romans 12:12 today in my study - 

"Rejoicing in hope; patient in tribulation; continuing instant in prayer."

I have lost some of my hope because I was chasing the dead leaves of this life.  I was falling away from patience, and my prayer life had become like the whirlwind - fast and furious.

As I watched that butterfly I saw that it was still busy - but it was busy doing each flower one at a time.  It took what it could from one flower, and moved to the next.  

If you look closely at the picture, you see that the butterfly has had a tough time of it, because one of its wings is damaged.  Yet, it perseveres continuing to do what the Lord designed it to do.

I needed that picture. I needed that image of perseverance.  I needed to realize that my chasing of dead leaves was not beneficial to me or to those around me. 

The Lord didn't ask me to get caught up in the whirlwind.  He asked me to serve Him one flower at a time.

I am going to print out that picture after I put Romans 12:12 on it.  I am going to place it all around me where I can remind myself of this truth from God's Word.

A truth of what the Lord taught me as I chose to get out of the whirlwind and be still before Him:

Rejoice in hope.

Patient in tribulation.

Constant in prayer.

Shaping and Pruning - Yard Work With a Twist

So the family did some yard work at my parents' house this weekend.

We were so glad to help them beautify their yard.  It has been a hard year for them with Daddy's fall over a year ago.

As is normal for me, I had some graceful moments with the rake - and made my Dad laugh - which was a good thing.  All in all, it was an awesome day of working together and seeing the finished product.

We did a lot of pruning.

A LOT.

Poor Steve's arms were so tired after it was done.  We pruned around 40 or so bushes at their house.  Let's just say it was a lot!

I began to "chew" on the pruning as I was leaning on my rake waiting for the next opportunity to have a graceful moment.  We had been trimming off excess growth on most of them as they had just gotten so out of shape.

Then, we came to this group of monstrosity bushes.

These bushes have been around ever since Mom and Daddy added on the sunroom and deck behind it to the house... the late 1970's.

Steve showed Wesley how to shape and trim them to give his arms a break.  Wesley went after those bushes with all his might....and we began to find that those bushes were quite ugly on the inside.  That green foliage on the outside was hiding what was really underneath!

In the picture below you are able to see how the green was really on the top part of the stem while the remainder of the bush was just woody and prickly.

We decided we were going to go drastic - we were going to go beyond pruning and we were going to take them down to the ground!

And that is what we did.  You can see Mikayla was helping get branches that Steve had just cut off.  It was good.  It was a freeing of that area that had become so crowded.  We couldn't believe the difference.

As I was standing there waiting to get in with my rake, I began to turn this pruning adventure into a reminder for myself spiritually.

How many times have I been just like the bushes we were pruning?

I have had times when I just needed a "touch up" of God's Word to get me spiritually looking right again.  There were other times I have needed a few more branches trimmed off the bottom to get me looking less bulky.

But then, there have been the times I needed to be cut down.  I needed a new start.

I began to "chew" on those bushes in the pictures above.  I was amazed at the symbolism I found in our spiritual walk with those bushes.  The Lord taught me much that afternoon.

You see, many times we look like we are growing in the Lord.  There is some new growth and we are pretty big!

However, when God begins to cut to the heart of the matter while He is pruning us and shaping us, sometimes He finds we have gone beyond just the normal pruning needs.

He begins to trim and He finds no green below the surface of our spiritual life.  In fact, one would wonder how the green came to be at all.  For below the green lies prickly, woody stems that within their heart bear no green - no fruit.

Just like those bushes looked big, pride can make us look like we are bigger spiritually than we actually are.  When the green is cut off, we see the prickly, woody portions of our soul and it is filled with anger, bitterness, hardness, callousness.... and I could go on.  We want to grow on our own terms and not in the way God designed.

Those bushes above had to be cut down to the ground.  They needed to start over - they needed to become something they were not - useful.  We then covered them with pine straw to face the winter ahead and are looking to see them come alive again next spring.  It was good.  It was freeing.

Sometimes in our Christian life, the Lord has to cut us down to the ground so that we can grow back healthy and more full of HIS life.

He is the Master Gardener and we must trust Him.  His prunings can be harsh at times, but He covers us with His love and when new life begins - He is there growing us in His likeness and not our own.  It is good.  It is freeing us from ourselves.

Pretty amazing what the Lord can show you about His truth - while doing yard work - with a twist.

I Want to Be Like a Pelican

Why in the world would I want to be like a pelican?

I mean, look at the picture below - they are certainly interesting parts of God's creation, and I admire how they are made, but why would I want to be LIKE one?

My desire to be like one came about this summer.  We went to the beach for a week in June for vacation.  It was a nice time of relaxing on the beach and observing all around me.  One of those days we were there, I noticed a fishing boat in the distance.  Unfortunately, I did not have the correct lens on my camera for you to see what my eye could see - but you "get the picture" below:

Here were tons and tons of gulls hovering around a fishing boat hoping to get some quick bites of food.  Try your best to see them all around the boat..... 

I then began to observe the pelicans nearby.  They were more to themselves and were on the prowl searching for food.  I was able to get a little better shot of them, but still not great.  They hovered over the water, constantly searching until they found a "prize" and dove right in the water to their reward!

I sat on the beach and began "chewing" on what I was seeing.  I even began to have a conversation with my kids about what we were seeing. 

And I have been "chewing" ever since.

I realize I was only observing partial behaviors of these animals, but the scene before me showed a valuable spiritual truth we all can apply to our lives.

Hence, why I want to be like a pelican.

Stay with me....

The gulls:
The gulls I observed wanted to get food more easily.   They hung around the fishing boat where they knew the food was going to be readily available.  (We also had some hanging near us on the beach hoping for a handout!!)  There were TONS of them flocking around the boat. 

It reminded me of spiritually how we want to be quickly "fed" without the work. 

• We put a little time into going to church - and some do not even do that in our society today.
• We might watch a pastor on TV or the internet.
• We might read a devotion or two.

But we are just flying around waiting for someone else to feed us.  And then we wonder where God is when hard times come.... we do not understand why we are not getting the help we need.  We do not understand why we are weak.

The pelicans:
The pelicans I observed were the opposite.  I am sure sometimes they were around the boat as well, hoping to get an easy catch, but the ones I watched were by themselves and constantly flying low over the waters to see where they might find some food.

Then, they dove for it.

And they were rewarded with a big piece of fish.

It reminded me of what I need to be as a Christian.  While I NEED church, hearing pastors, and reading devotions,  in order to truly be FED, I must become like a pelican.   

I need to be hovering over the Living Water of the Word, seeking to be fed from the Scriptures. I then will be rewarded with spiritual "fish" that I would never have received by waiting for a quick treat by a boat.

• I must desire to be in God's Word daily.
• I must desire to be in His house often.
• I must desire to SEEK Him.

The Lord always seems to cause certain words to stick with me at different stages of my life.  Recently in the year He gave me the word HOPE.  After this observation at the beach, He has given me the word SEEK.

In my Bible study and Bible reading this summer I have come across that word often. 

I began to look it up on Bible Gateway to see how many times it is in Scripture.  In the KJV it is there 291 times.  

As I have studied the captivity of the Israelites in Hosea, I noticed that the reason trouble came so much to them was because they were not seeking God - they were seeking other temporary things that they thought would fulfill them or make things better.

In order to be found, one must SEEK. 

Remember the game we played as a child - Hide and Seek?  Only God is not hiding - He just wants us to SEEK Him.

Many people love Jeremiah 29:11.  It is a well-known verse and holds great promises:

   

For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.

Many people like to quote that verse - and I have done the same - but sometimes we take it out of context. 

A few years ago, the Lord drew me to this verse when I was struggling with a lot of things.  He showed me this verse, which was a comfort, but He also drew my eyes downward to continue to read the full context of the passage.  This is what I found in the following verses of 12 and 13:

Then shall ye call upon me, and ye shall go and pray unto me, and I will hearken unto you.

And ye shall seek me, and find me, when ye shall search for me with all your heart.

  

The Lord has been teaching me that so many people stop at Jeremiah 29:11 and then get upset with God when life isn't peaceful and things do not turn out the way they wanted.  

I was once one of those people.

Do you see the conditions God set up in order to reach that expected end?   

  

And ye shall seek me, and find me, when ye shall search for me with all your heart.

We must go to work studying the Scriptures - really studying them in order to know God and be fed. 

We must seek Him.

So, just like the pelicans who I observed that were alone, seeking food in the water, and diving down to claim their reward, so do I want to seek food from God's Word by diving in and receiving the spiritual food I need in order to grow stronger in Him.  

And I must do that daily.

Anyone else want to be like a pelican with me?

How Close to the Fence?

A fence is a boundary.

A fence can keep what is inside safe, and what is outside out.

We had an invisible fence for our dog once - and she was so stubborn she broke through it every time.  She was determined to see what was on the other side of the fence!  She did not care if it shocked her - she dealt with the pain and went through it anyway.

In life, it is so interesting sometimes to go to the other side of the fence - to try out what looks so good...  A former Sunday School teacher told us once that the grass always looks greener on the other side of the fence, but be careful - it may be because of a septic tank!

However, today I don't want to talk about leaving the boundary of a physical fence.

I want to talk about our spiritual fence.  The one that separates us from the world.  Not the world of people, but the world system and its ideas of what is "best" or the "latest and greatest."

How close are we to the fence - without going over? 
As Paul Tripp says, "Are you so close to the fence that you have fence marks in your face?"

Let's examine that thought for a bit, shall we?

Every day one who calls him/herself a Christian has a choice to stay in the boundaries the Lord has set for all.

These boundaries were not set up to be a killjoy.  So many times people believe staying within the boundaries God has designed causes us to lead "boring" lives.  There is a freedom and joy found in the safety and blessings of those boundaries because God, Who sees and knows all, wants to help us not fall into Satan's traps.

BUT.....
What if you are staying in those boundaries, but you are pressing so close to the fence, wanting what the world has, that your face has permanent marks on it from the fence??

I have been doing this Bible study this summer:

It has been convicting.

It has been beautiful.

It has continually shown me how we can get carried away by the world and long for what does not satisfy.

I am not going into the "back story" of Hosea for this post - but just know Israel was in a mess because they were just too close to the fence that they had permanent fence marks in their face.  They had left their first love - the God who loved them faithfully.

What exactly do I mean by the fence marks in the face? 

The Israelites - just like many Christians today - were still worshiping God but were so closely resembling the nations around them that no one could tell a difference between those who were God-honoring and those of the idol-worshiping nations.

I see so much of that around me today. 

I see it in my children as they face temptations that are in their faces all of the time.  I see the struggle they have with their faces at the fence, longing for what they see their friends have or do but all the while "staying in the fence."  I see where they think the grass really is greener, better, more alive on the other side of that fence and if they could just get close enough they would find the joy they think their friends/fellow teens have in the same circumstances.

I see where others might say they are still in the boundary of the Lord, but their hearts jumped that fence long ago.  They are truly not worshiping God alone. Their faces bear the marks of power, money, lust, popularity, appearance....  I could go on.

They are never satisfied with the Lord. 

I can see that in me.

But in the Lord is where we get all things we have - we just fail to recognize who truly gives us all things.

He alone satisfies.

He alone helps us realize the other side of that fence of the world's view of joy really is a septic tank.  A septic tank of sin.  

Let's do a little test to see how close you are to the fence.  Are there fence marks in your face?

How do you talk?  
No, really... how do you talk when you are not around "church" people.  How do you talk inside your mind?

How do you dress?  
Could someone know you are a Christian by what you choose to wear?  No, I am not talking about wearing an outfit covering all parts and showing no skin, but how about too much skin?  Would you be ashamed to wear your clothing in a church building?  If so, think about this - your BODY is God's temple - how are you taking care of it?  Do you look a bit too much like the "septic tank" of the world dressed you?  Just because it is the latest and greatest style does not mean you are staying within the boundaries the Lord gives us - you may be having fence marks in your face!

What are your actions? 
If someone were to drive behind you - what would they observe?  If someone were to be in line with you as you wait at a checkout or just somewhere you have to wait - what would they see?  Do you act any differently than those we see in TV shows or what the world models as "OK?"

What do you think of yourself?
I am not saying to go around and self-hate, but I also know we are to show a humble spirit.  Do you think a lot of yourself?  Do you want everyone around you to know it?  It is called PRIDE and it was the very first sin committed.  It is the deepest sin of us all.  It is the way we all have a little too much of the fence on our faces.

What do you do with Jesus?
No, really.  What do you do with Him every other day of the week besides Sunday?  Do you live one way on Sunday and live another way the next six days?  Do you take Him at His Word or do you just think of Jesus as your "fire protection" for eternity?  He desires a relationship with us, but so many just want the "fence" of eternity but stay so closely looking out of the fence at what the world is doing that they miss Jesus there all along.  They miss that beautiful time with Him.

What do you spend your time and money doing?
Are there things that consume your time and money that have nothing to do with the Lord?  My Preacher has said many times "Show me what a man/woman spends money on or time doing and that is their god."  Doesn't mean that enjoying extracurricular activities are bad.  It means, what consumes you?  Where is your allegiance?

All of these things that cause us to have fence marks in our faces are idols.  Anything that draws us away from the will of God is an idol in our life.

While doing the Bible study above, I have seen even more how Israel's decline was gradual - it was just having the fence marks of the world around them in their faces.

We are no different.

God has been so patient.  He is so kind and loving that He does not stop loving us when we keep pressing into the fence.

Instead, He causes the fence to become rusty, broken, and where the marks we receive on our face actually scar us.  That is when Hosea 6:1 becomes so sweet ~

 Come, and let us return unto the Lord: for he hath torn, and he will heal us; he hath smitten, and he will bind us up.

God never leaves us.

God's love is unfailing.

When we have those scars on our faces from the fence we have been pressing, He will bind us up.  

It is only through Christ that we are able to have all that we really crave. 

Stop pressing in on the fence looking at the world on the other side, turn around, and see the beauty in the beautiful boundaries that the Lord has in given to you and me.

Psalm 107:1-2, 4-7

Oh give thanks to the Lord, for he is good,
    for his steadfast love endures forever! 

 Let the redeemed of the Lord say so,
    whom he has redeemed from trouble

Some wandered in desert wastes,
    finding no way to a city to dwell in; 

 hungry and thirsty,
    their soul fainted within them.

Then they cried to the Lord in their trouble,
    and he delivered them from their distress. 

 He led them by a straight way
    till they reached a city to dwell in.

Why I Am A Mother

You may be saying, "Of course you are a mother - you have children."

Why, yes, you are correct.  But it goes beyond that. 

Stay with me....

The road to Motherhood was a hard one for me...as it is for many women.

Steve and I battled infertility for four years. 

I was angry for a long time when everyone around me was having children and I was not.

I was bitter when asked the question, "When are you going to have kids?"

Mother's Day was not fun for me.

It was during those years that I felt like God had abandoned me and didn't care that I wanted children.

What I didn't realize, and am still realizing to this very day, is that God's purpose and plan was greater than my own.  My own faith needed strengthening.

He made me a Mother in July of 1999 and I gave birth to my sweet twin babies on April 1, 2000. 

Life hasn't been the same since. 

I could tell you the typical reasons why I am a Mother.  We hear about them all of the time on Mother's Day - and live it daily.

I am not here to pat myself on the back.  It is quite the opposite - I am even more humbled and in awe of the Lord's grace and mercy in my life. 

You see, this weekend in my readings and Bible time, the Lord showed me more strongly the reason I am a Mother - and why I never want to take this job lightly. 

Yesterday the Lord revealed Psalm 145 to me in a new light.  He purposely gave me one verse in particular that was used by the author I was reading. 

Psalm 145: 4 - One generation shall praise your works to another, and shall declare your mighty acts.

When I first became a Mom I went through the motions of teaching my children about the Lord. 

We went to church regularly and read them Bible stories.  We taught them rules and manners. 

Then the Lord began to teach ME how to really be a Mother.

He began to show me that all I thought was correct in rearing my children was the exact opposite of what He desired.  Not that what I did with rules, etc... was bad - it was just the heart of it all was for outward behavior and not a deep inward change.

When the Lord began to change me further and deeper, He created a love in me for Him that could not be quenched.  I began to understand what that relationship with Him was supposed to look like and how I wanted the same with my own children.  He began to help me realize how He designed a Mother.

I started to understand that my purpose as a Mother was to praise Him and declare Him to my own children.

And the way I would do that would be leading through example.

It is easy to have rules.  It is easy to say "Do what I say, not what I do!" 

But the fact is - your children become what they see you DOING and LIVING right in front of them. 

The Lord began to show me I could not change my children's hearts - only He could do that.

He then began to show me that I needed to go to HIM in order to get to THEM.

The consistent change in me came from His still, small voice reminding me He never gave up on me.  He never stayed mad at me.  He never used cold and callous words with me.  He never rejected me. 

He loved me unconditionally.

No matter what I did - or didn't do.

Let me just say that even in the last week the Lord has continued to show me those facts!

Because of all He taught ME in my walk with Him allowed me to reciprocate with my own children.

There have been many days (and I am sure there will still be plenty more!) where I have felt like a failure at this Mother job.  I wasn't sure if they were even listening.  I began to think I should give up.

But the Lord kept prodding me along and drawing me closer to Himself in order to face the most important job in the world - that of telling the next generation of His mighty works.

This morning, I received two homemade cards from my children.  After I read them, nothing compared to what was written:

"I am so thankful I have a Mom like you.  Your walk with God is extremely inspiring....You are one of the most godly people I know."

I was humbled.  I still am while re-reading it all. 

They have been listening. 

Most importantly, they have been watching.

Today I have chewed on this path of Motherhood the Lord has given to me.  I can see that those years of waiting to have children were because the Lord had to get me to certain points in my own life. I had to grow up more in the Lord before I could grow my children up to know Him better.

Believe me, I fail every day.  I do not always have the right answers.  Sometimes I am so tired at the end of the day from teaching that my own children do not get very much out of me.

However, my heart's desire has been to show them God's wondrous and glorious works and how He is there in my life.  That even though I may not always be there for them, there is Someone Who is ALWAYS there - their Heavenly Father.

And THAT is why I am a Mother.... 

The Triple "S" Threat

"The Triple S Threat."

No, I am not talking about a local High School.

I am not talking about someone's wrestling name.

I am talking about the Triple Threat of  "Saved, Satisfied, and Sitting."

When I was in my younger years and I attended Vacation Bible School at my church, a precious saint - Mrs. Lela Pleasants - spoke these words to our class:  "I was saved, satisfied and sitting!" 

You see, Mrs. Lela was showing us that she realized that she was saved from hell, satisfied with that knowledge, and sitting around living her life as she pleased.  She was teaching us that she learned from that and chose to stop that threat.

Now that I am older and have lived some of this life here on earth, I have chewed on those words and can now look back on my life and see how I was doing just the same.

On April 9, 1979 I accepted Christ as my Savior.  I got "saved."  Like a lot of people, I battled the security of "really meaning what I said" on that day and struggled with that for years. Thankfully, I can look back now and see God's grace shining all over those moments. 

Once I got into the way of living the life of an American Christian, it became a satisfied life.  I knew I was saved and all was well.  I would go to church and live life grandly in each day that came.  Satisfaction meant that nothing really bad could happen and all would be well.  Kind of like that Prosperity Gospel that is out in the world today.

Then, I began to sit.  I began to just live my life without really spending a lot of time with the Lord or ever "getting up" and telling the Gospel to others.  Sure, I shared it with friends in college and "stood up" for my beliefs, but when the rubber met the road, I am not sure I was really as strong as I thought in my pride.

In fact, I KNOW I wasn't as strong as I thought.

It is easy to say a lot of things.  It is easy to have the "right" Christian words and make others think you have achieved what you actually haven't.  However, I can remember quoting things I had heard from others and thinking to myself "Do I really believe that?!"

For years I can see that, even though I was saved, I lived on the coattails of those before me and quoted what THEY said instead of seeking the Lord myself.

I was caught up in the rules of it all.  I was caught up in the externals of "if I look good, act good, and am good -  then I am good."  Little did I realize that the saved, satisfied and sitting heart is a heart that is not for the Lord - but for the view of men.

What is so dangerous is that I did not think I was "saved, satisfied, and sitting."  I thought I was being the kind of Christian that would light the world for God! 

I thought that spending some time at church was good enough.

I thought that working at church was good enough.

I thought reading a couple of verses throughout the week was good enough.

I thought praying every once in a while was good enough.

I thought that helping others how to live a good life was good enough.

I thought being satisfied with where I was in life was good enough.

Then the Lord began to use another type of "Triple S" on me:

Showing, Shaking, Stretching

Little by little, the Lord began to use things and events in my life to SHOW me that some of my beliefs were wrong.  Not beliefs of the truth of His Word, but beliefs I had from my younger years that I clung to and thought they were the "Gospel", when, in fact, they were not.

The Lord showed me that I was a sinner saved by grace and had no cause to think I was better than anyone else.  He has helped me understand His grace at a more personal level.  He has shown me that we are all a work in progress.

He showed me that some of those words I had quoted all of those years may or may not have been from Scripture but from man's twisted view of Scripture.

He showed me I needed Him... and Him alone... to guide my path.

Then, the Lord began to SHAKE me.

And, oh, how He shook me!!  He shook me to my core and then some.  Every false thing I thought was truth He brought into the Light of His Presence and they crumbled before His feet.  Just like those strong walls of Jericho, the Lord used things and circumstances in His timing to cause my wall of self-righteousness to come crashing down so that He could take over my spiritual, self-righteous land.  He shook me out of myself. 

And He is still shaking me to this day.

He then began to remake me into what He wanted me to be, think, and do.

Since the shaking, the Lord has been STRETCHING me.

Wow - I never knew how much stretching can hurt but feel good at the same time!  He has brought me into a relationship with Him that is constantly exercising my spiritual muscles.  The stretching has broadened my horizons, taught me much about the Lord, and helped me realize even more that I must depend on Him for everything.

He has drawn me to read His Word hungrily and soak it all in.

He has stretched me into reading Christian living books by Philip Yancey, Paul David Tripp, Cherie Hill, and other Christian authors.

He has stretched this visual learner into excitedly hearing sermons online!  (That is HUGE if you realized just how ADD I can be and how much of a visual learner I really am!)

Recently, the Lord has stretched my whole family into stepping out in faith and serving Him in a new church.  That was a hard stretch for this girl who had been going to the same church for almost 45 years.  But the Lord knew it was time for more stretching.  More trusting.  More growing.

In that showing, shaking, and stretching I have seen my relationship with my Savior come alive in ways I never realized. 

I have watched my marriage become stronger. 

I have seen how the Lord used my shaking to guide me in ways to help our teenagers. 

I have seen the old Kellie pass away.  I am not the girl I once was.... thank the Lord!



Do I still struggle from time to time with the "saved, satisfied, and sitting" threat? 

Sure.  I think we all do because of that earthly threat - our SINFUL nature.

However, I can confidently say that when I get back to the SON I am back on track of His showing, shaking and stretching.

So what about you?

First of all - are you SAVED?  Do you know Christ as your Savior?  Have you ever accepted His eternal gift of salvation that cannot be earned?  If not, find someone who can lead you to the One Who can!

If you are saved, are you just satisfied and sitting? 

Life on this earth was not meant to be satisfying - this world is not our home.  Allow the Lord to give you stronger spiritual muscles through His showing, shaking, and stretching.

You will be spiritually healthier for it.

Disappointed with God

Let's be honest here.

How many of you can say you have been disappointed with God?

Really, be honest.

I know for a fact I would have said I was disappointed with God some years ago.  There were battles in my life for which I felt God had left me and I didn't understand WHY in the world I was having to face some of the things I faced.

Recently, the Lord has led me to read this book:

I actually have had it on my Kindle for some time, but I just never got to it because of where the Lord led me next in my reading.  He called out to me for this one.

Funny thing, I did not feel disappointed with God at this time so I wasn't sure why I needed it now.

I just love how God works. :)

This past week as I was teaching, the Lord gave me a different perspective into something I have taught for years.  In fact, as I was teaching it I had a pause in my heart that I wanted to just sit and think over the passage He was showing me, but when you have 20 faces looking at you to finish, you just keep going! :)

I have been teaching on Christ's life in the last couple of weeks to prepare the children's hearts for Easter and what Christ did for us on the cross.

On this particular day I was teaching from Luke 8 where Jesus had been asked by Jairus to come and heal his daughter who was near death.  Jesus had just come from across the Sea of Galilee where He had calmed the storm for His disciples, healed the Gadarene demoniac, and had now come back to the other side where a huge crowd of people were there waiting for Him.  In this crowd was Jairus, a ruler of the synagogue, who fell at Jesus' feet and asked Him to please come heal his daughter - his only daughter.

Jesus began to walk with Jairus.  As He walked, the people crowded around Him more - and then a woman touched Him.  

Now, if you have ever been in a crowd, you know that is not something unusual.  In fact, when Jesus turned to ask who it was that touched Him, His disciples were confused and even asked Him why He would ask that when people were surrounding Him?  What they didn't realize is that Jesus knew that woman had been healed of her blood disease she had faced for 12 years.  He knew her faith in Him had healed her and He wanted to test her to see if she would indeed come forward.  

As all of this is taking place, and Jesus is telling the woman to "be of good comfort: your faith has made you whole; go in peace," one of the servant's from Jairus' house came towards him and told him not to trouble the Master  - the girl was dead.

His only daughter was dead.

He had run to find Jesus.  He had fallen at His feet.  Jesus was coming with Him.

But then the woman touched Him and He stopped.

Jesus stopped.  Jesus didn't heal that girl before she died.  

It is at this moment in my teaching that I wanted so badly to pause.  I began to put myself in Jairus' shoes.

I am sure at this moment, Jairus was DISAPPOINTED in God.

His hopes were dashed while this woman nearby was made whole just by touching Jesus' tunic.

This woman received what Jairus had hoped his daughter would receive.  

Now his daughter was dead.

Let's dwell in this moment for a minute.  

Are you Jairus right now?  Is there something in your life that has needed healing and God has been "too late?"  Have you been disappointed with God in your:

Finances. 

Marriage.

Job.

Children.

Home.

Life.

I can relate.  I have been there.  I have been with friends who have been there.  In our limited view, we ALL have been there.  

My children had Isaiah 55:8 as their memory verse this week.  How fitting that the Lord drew all of that together for me:

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways, my ways, saith the Lord."

At that moment as Jairus felt the pain of disappointment with God, he didn't realize what he thought was not what Jesus thought.  Jesus, God the Son, had a different plan.  None of this happened without His foreknowledge.  He had a purpose in the pain.

As soon as Jesus heard Jairus' daughter was dead, he told Jairus "Fear not: believe only, and she shall be made whole."

Jairus had to hang on to those words.  He had to learn to trust even though he had NO idea how she would be made whole.

A few verses later we see where Jesus, along with Peter, James, John, and the girls' parents, went into the house and Jesus took that girl by the hand and said, "Maid, arise."  That girl immediately stood up and had the breath of life in her.  Jesus then told them to get her something to eat.  This girl was not just some figment of their imagination or a ghost.  She was a living, breathing human being who needed food.

"Fear not: believe only, and she shall be made whole."

How can you apply that to your life today?   How can you take the truths of Jesus and realize that even though things are not happening as fast or didn't happen the way you wanted, God knows something you do not.

"Fear not: believe only, and your finances will be made whole."

"Fear not: believe only, and your marriage will be made whole."

"Fear not: believe only, and your job will be made whole."

"Fear not: believe only, and your children will be made whole."

"Fear not: believe only, and your home will be made whole."

"Fear not: believe only, and your life will be made whole."

You may be thinking, "That's easy for you to type.  You aren't living my life."

You are right.  I do not know what you are facing and it is easy for me to sit here typing these words when I am not facing what you are facing.

However, I know Who has faced even more than you have faced.

This same Jesus that healed Jairus' daughter soon faced a hardship He desired to pass up.  In the Garden of Gethsemane, the night before what we know as "Good Friday," He even prayed to His Father, with so much stress upon Him that blood mingled with the sweat as He prayed.  He wanted the "cup to pass from Him" - in His humanity He knew that what horrific pain He was about to face.  

Without being disrespectful to my Savior, may I say Jesus was, at that moment of anguish, disappointed with His Father?  When He was on the cross and His Father turned His back on Him and Jesus cried "My God, My God, why have you forsaken me!?" was there disappointment?  

Yet, as Jesus spoke it in the Garden of Gethsemane, "Not MY will, but Yours be done."

Jesus chose not to fear.  He chose to take the sins of you and me when He was innocent.  He chose to go to a gruesome beating and horrific death so that we need not FEAR or be disappointed.

Yes, we can trust Him when our finances are a mess, our marriages are in a shamble, our jobs are overwhelming, our children are wayward, our home is being destroyed and our life is feeling as if we are at the end of our ropes.  

Why?

Because Jesus took our disappointment with Him to the cross and it was nailed there.  God came down to us in the form of His Son, and took a punishment that is beyond anything we will ever face on this earth.  

In those moments of hardships, God is taking us from childlike faith, to faith of fidelity.  Faith that believes even in the midst of being disappointed.  Faith that comes through the fire stronger than anything there would have been if the disappointing time had not come.

Disappointment is a normal human reaction.  

Just don't let it be the place in which you dwell.  God's timing is not our own.  Turn the disappointment into a stronger faith in the One Who has faced more than we will ever imagine.

Instead of dwelling on it, take "DIS" off of the word.  

See all things as an APPOINTMENT for God to do a great work and strengthen your faith in Him alone.