02/17/09

My "staple good" to photograph.... our silos. I never tire of them. They looked so pretty in the snow with that blue sky the day the snow melted.



I have a praise to the Lord to share today.

A couple of months ago Steve began a "journey" of allergy/sinus issues. He had been working on our barn area which was old and had mold, etc... and I figured it came from that. His doctor was not pleased that he kept having these issues so she gave him an allergy test and wasn't necessarily listening to the fact that he had been down at the barns around mold and such. He took the allergy test at the beginning of January and it said he was allergic to different grasses (which we pretty much already knew) and CATS.

CATS?

NO!

I wanted to throw up... I had a hard time understanding that he would all of a sudden develop such severe problems when we have had cats for 15 years! I realize allergies can come on later in life, but this was a bit weird.

The doctor then told him we needed to get rid of our cats because that would be the only way to fully alleviate his issues. She wanted us to get rid of our new little kitties that we have grown to LOVE and adore.

I began to do what Kellie does best.... go in "panic/control" mode. I began to think of what I could do to solve this problem. I began bathing the cats every week (which is what I was doing anyway...) and helping Steve figure out other things to help him.

I needed to take my eyes off of myself and LET GO and LET GOD.

The Lord kept pressing me to release and trust.

It was so hard. I wanted to do what I could do so he would get all better and we could keep our kittens.

The Lord kept pressing me to stop... and TRUST.

Steve was scheduled to see an Allergy doctor at the end of January. I was so nervous as to what they would find. I didn't even want to talk to him that day because I just knew he was going to tell me the doctor was in agreement with his Primary Care Physician. My best friend had also told me we would probably be getting rid of the cats and I just needed to get over it.

Ouch.

That was hard to take.

I finally gave in to the Lord's gentle nudges a few weeks ago and told the Lord that I had to give it to Him and if we did have to get rid of the kitties that I would release that to Him as well.

Steve went to his first doctor's appointment but we had all just gotten that cold and he had been taking antihistamines and you have to be off of those for 5 days before the test. The appointment was changed for the next week.

He went to the next week's test only to find out he shouldn't have stayed on the allergy medicine his Primary Care doctor gave him. (We just weren't even thinking about that one...) The appointment was changed again for the following week.

Last week he was supposed to go but had to change the appointment because something came up with work.

Through each canceled appointment it was like the Lord was saying "Wait... calm yourself... I am in control." I truly wanted to get upset when his appointments kept changing but the Lord changed my perspective instead.

Well, today was the day of his appointment where he would have the allergy test. I didn't even think of it much this morning other than he was going to the appointment. The Lord had helped me CALM down and TRUST.

Steve calls me at school after the testing.

He is allergic to pretty much everything that grows and has pollen. He is not allergic to cats.

Did you get that? He is NOT ALLERGIC TO CATS.

Right then and there I was almost tearful thinking on what the Lord continues to teach me and has taught me through this moment. I am thankful for His still small voice that lovingly teaches me through all parts of my life.

Here is an excerpt from a book I read many, many years ago that I just re-read and so fits what I have been "battling" the last few weeks. I have this typed out and on my bulletin board in the office to remind me of this lesson the Lord is still teaching me.

"Many of the lessons God wishes for us to learn are based on the principle of release. We need to learn how to take our hands off the controls. When we are at our most desperate, and our desire to cling to control is strongest, this is when we most need to let go. To be willing in faith to take our hands off, and put the experience and the circumstances under the control of God.... Yet, we desperately want to direct our own lives. It is fear which keeps us from releasing control. It makes us skeptical. It keeps us from believing in the goodness of God. A moment given over to fear is a moment lost from God. We are lost in that moment, trapped by fear and doubt and a desperate desire to cling to what we know. And yet at these times we can do ourselves the greatest harm by trying to forge ahead alone, governed by fear, blinded by our terrors and or pains and our past. It is at this moment when release of control to God is vital. This is no senseless casting everything to the winds of fate. This is trusting God. This is putting action to the theory of faith."
-One Shenandoah Winter
T. Davis Bunn (pages 118-119)

Sorry this was so long.

I must say I sat back and reflected today on what I would have done if the test came back that he WAS allergic to cats. God answers all prayers... sometimes they aren't the way WE want, but the way God wills for our lives. It would have been a lesson of praise to God despite my circumstances.