09/16/08

This picture goes along with what I am thinking today.



LOVE... we do things for love sometimes that aren't always necessarily good. They aren't bad, per say, but they aren't really great, either.

I am still finding with my children that my LOVE for them can also cause stress. My love for them to do well in school... at all times. My love for them to follow all directions that are thrown at them. My love sometimes fails to remember that one of them is a boy. A boy who isn't like our girl. I never want to compare my children, but I still find sometimes it is hard to NOT compare them... especially since they are the same age. The Lord is still working on me to realize some things will not "click" until later. My LOVE is needing to calm down at times and remember that Rome wasn't built in a day, an acorn does not turn into an oak tree in a week, and God's still working on me at 37. My LOVE needs some patience, I am finding.

LOVE sometimes wants to protect you and "take care" of things when LOVE just needs to step aside and not worry so much.

That truly is hard, you know.

My words are not coming out as easily tonight. I know it is because this is something I struggle with and can't find exactly what my heart is feeling.

OK, I'll be blunt... sometimes it is hard to be a teacher and a mother.

It is at this time that I continually see I need to keep giving this over to the Lord.

I learned something today that I had never really thought of before. I was teaching on Abram and how God called him out of the land of Ur to go to Canaan where God promised Abram would become a great nation. I taught today on Abram taking matters into his own hands when he got into Canaan and realized there was a famine and decided to go to Egypt. Once in Egypt he chose to lie and say Sarai was his sister and not his wife. That, along with the fact that he was not told to go to Egypt, got him in a "peck of trouble." He was sent from Egypt after causing much pain to Pharoah's house as well as his own family because of a choice he made.

I realized today for the first time (and how many times have I read this passage and taught it to my students??!) that Abram (Abraham) had to learn to trust God just like us. I guess I had always thought of Abraham being up on a "pedestal" and began to trust God in all things always like a super human as soon as he was told to leave Ur. Abraham made this choice to go into Egypt without God's leading just like we go into our daily lives (or LOVE moments) without really thinking on what God wants us to do. Abraham was so full of faith as his life went on, but it was a process for him just like it is for us.

I needed that this morning to be a reminder for me this afternoon.

Abraham did what he did for the LOVE of his family and the LOVE of his wife. He didn't want anyone starving and he didn't want anyone killing him to take his wife. He acted on his LOVE without trusting.

I learned that myself today. Mine wasn't nearly so "bad" but I still find that sometimes my LOVE is too strong to think for itself and needs the Lord's guidance so I don't crush someone in its path. Lord, help me to step back and trust that You are going to do a great work in all parts of my family...especially in a little male whom I LOVE very much.