06/28/11

I mowed grass today.

You may think that is nothing new.

And it isn't.

However, I did it because I love my husband.

Now THAT is some kind of revelation!

You see.... I am so not an outdoorsy person. I am not a "green thumb" and I detest insects.

But I love my husband.

I love to surprise him and do things for him that he wasn't expecting.... even when it is something I don't really enjoy doing.

He does the same for me ... he has cleaned the house, cooked, washed clothes just so I wouldn't have a lot on my plate when I got home (whether I was at work or not!). Those surprises show much he loves and cares for ME!

As I was riding on that lawnmower today cutting almost 3 acres of grass I chewed on a few thoughts I wanted to share today.

So many times we get caught up in the "feeling" of love towards someone and we claim that the only way to show love is romantically.

Not so.

Love is an action. Love is not a feeling.

When I think of Steve over myself I begin to see what is bothering him or ways in which I can help him. I have to put him above my own desires at times.

Steve has always been willing to help around the house and that has grown in many ways since we have had the kids. There are a lot of things we both just "do" around the house, but when we see a need with the other, we try to jump in and help.

My parents have always been willing to help each other. Mom was a stay-at-home-Mom with us and Dad worked on the farm. They both worked hard at what they did.... and they both helped out with things at home. Dad helped me with homework just like Mom did even though Dad worked outside of the home. (I can still remember him trying to teach me to count money... oh, it wasn't pretty. I had my Holly Hobby gown on and couldn't get a lick of it right!) They supported each other and no job was "too good" for the other to help.

Marriage is a partnership.... not a one-sided venture. I think more marriages would survive today if the first thought of the married couple each day were "How can I help or encourage my husband/wife instead of expecting my husband/wife to do something for me?"

Thinking of others is not always priority in our day and time. It is all about ME and what I want, and what I deserve.

"I work hard all day so I shouldn't have to come home and do _________."

We all have days we feel like that, but that is not what God wants us to do. If we really stop and think about it, we don't DESERVE anything... everything we have is a gift!

God wants us to look to the needs of others.... and that, most importantly, means our SPOUSES!

I don't claim to hold a doctorate in Marriage, but the Lord has revealed many things to me through the years and they were mostly directed at ME! I had to learn not to be the selfish one!

Here are some ideas: (these are all things Steve has done for me or I for him!) This is not a long list. Feel free to add ideas to these in comments!

• Take out that bag of clothes that your wife has put together that needs to go to Good-Will because you know it is heavy and she needs help getting it to the van.
• Clean up the kitchen after your husband/wife made supper.
• Be willing to clean up an area that drives your spouse crazy that you have allowed to go "wild" and cluttered in the house/outside the house over time. (Steve and I both have had times of that!)
• Take out the trash.
• Fold the laundry even if it isn't "your job."
• Go pick vegetables in a garden that has bugs crawling in it because you know your spouse is tired when he/she gets home from work. (That would be especially for me....)
• Be willing to serve them and allow them to sit and watch their favorite show.
• Show support with rearing the kids in front of the kids. Discuss differences away from them but still be on the "same page" as much as possible.
• Learn to let go of some "pet peeves."
• Mow the grass!

Just remember... love is an ACTION.

Are you showing your spouse you love him/her....

Or are you showing your spouse you love YOURSELF more?

Ephesians 5:33
Nevertheless let each individual among you also love his own wife even as himself; and let the wife see to it that she respect her husband.