09/13/09

I recent weeks I have been noticing how much Wesley desires to be with his Daddy.

Now, I know that is normal, and definitely healthy.

Mikayla has always been a "Daddy's Girl" and I love the fact that both my children desire to be with their Daddy so much.

Today my thoughts are on my little guy because girls have a different bond with their mother. (Sometimes it is one of downright too much "alikeness" and, well,... we just won't go there in this post. lol) Just know my daughter is just as precious to me... today just has to do with Wesley.

Boys want to be like their dads... for the most part. They learn so much from their Daddy and know how to act and what to do in certain aspects of life.

As I have been noticing this desire of Wesley to be with his Daddy more and more I get the "When is Dad coming home?" or the running out of the house to wait for him to finally arrive home from work or where ever he has been.

I guess I am with Wesley and Mikayla so much that they don't necessarily have that desire with me. I am always the one who tells them to practice, do their homework, learn their verses, eat their supper, etc.

Now, Steve helps out with those things, too, but I am the one who seems to "yell" it loud and clear with consistency. lol I don't seem to be the "fun" one.

I realize a Mom's job is not always to be the "fun" one. I realize that is part of being a Daddy is getting to do things with them that are not always serious and consistent.

In watching all of this with Wesley in particular I am realizing I am losing my baby boy. Not in literal terms, thankfully, but in the "Mommy's heart" terms.

He is growing up.

He is no longer the little guy who depends solely on me for everything.

Now, I know I have desired great maturity for Wesley over the years... and it is still a work in progress, but I guess when you finally realize what that maturity brings with it, it makes the Mommy heart grow a little sad.

I know that I don't have many years left of cuddling with the little guy.

He doesn't necessarily like to hold my hand anymore. I saw that last Friday night when we were walking into a restaurant and he was hesitant to hold my hand.

Yes, it is normal and healthy. I know that you don't see college guys skipping up to their dorm holding their Mom's hands, but reality "bit me on the hand" with that!

He doesn't sit in my lap in church anymore. Partly, he has become too heavy! The other part is, well, he wants to be near his Dad more.

This morning in church he leaned over to his Dad.... something he usually does with me.

I "pouted".... I wanted that for ME!

That was selfish on my part because Steve needs that, too, but it caused my heart to break a moment to realize my times with him in the way they were as he was younger are leaving me.

That is why the following pictures show something that meant more than he will ever know.


My little guy went outside after church today and picked these flowers just for me. He then came in and put them in water in this silly kitchen thing from Mikayla's play kitchen.

When he saw how much I loved them he was almost speechless. The Lord knew I needed that from Wesley today.

Wesley found out just how special that was for me. He actually went out and picked me a few more but left them on the counter in the bathroom and forgot to put them in water because he can't remember two things at once. (LOL!) That endeared them to me even more when we found them and added them to the "vase."

When he brought them to me, it melted my heart and made me realize that although I do not have the moments with him as I used to, he still thinks of me in ways I don't even know.

I dread the day when he will begin dating that special someone because I know the flowers will not be for me then. I think of that with him so much more than I do with Mikayla. However, I also know that nothing will ever take away my Mother's love for him and nothing will take away his love for me.
He will just never be able to grasp how much these simple flowers meant to his sappy Momma today.