03/24/12

 

I have been discussing all kinds of parental topics this past week.  

Today I will talk about - DISCIPLINE.

There is a lack of it in our world today.

Discipline hinges on all things I have discussed this week:  respect, entitlement and responsibility.

Why are parents scared to actually discipline their children?

There is a difference between punishment and discipline. 

Punishment is:

the act of punishing.

the fact of being punished, as for an offense or fault.

a penalty inflicted for an offense, fault, etc.

severe handling or treatment.

Discipline is: 

training to act in accordance with rules;

behavior in accord with rules of conduct; behavior and order maintained by training and control:

 

So many people mix up these two words.  

 

Punishment is the act of punishing to punish without showing love or trying to teach your child to learn something from it.   

 

Discipline is the act of having consequences to train your child to know what is right or wrong.  Discipline entails showing love while still expecting rules to be followed.  It also teaches self-control.

 

The Lord chastens us to bring about fruit in our lives.  We get in trouble and have consequences, but He still loves us and moves us forward from it, learning much.

 

Parents today want to talk their children to death without having any consequences.  They want to use time out to an extreme.  They want to re-direct always instead of telling the child "NO."  They do not want to discipline with love.

 

They *think* they are disciplining with love when they talk, and talk, and talk, and talk.  

 

There is nothing wrong with talking, in fact, you have read on here many times how I have talked things through with my own kids.  However, when there is only talking and no action, the kids begin to realize they can manipulate a situation.

 

I have heard so many parents through the years say "If you do that one more time, this will happen..." and they repeat it fifty times... and the child learns that the parent does not mean what is said.  Then, the parent becomes overly angry and reacts in a way that is not appropriate.. it is more of the punishment and not the discipline.

 

Discipline takes work.

 

It takes patience.

 

It take consistency.

 

Steve and I are not perfect parents.  We do not always do everything right, but when our kids hear us say we expect them to do or not do something, they know there will be a consequence if it does not happen. 

 

As my parents used to tell me "I mean what I say, and I say what I mean."

 

We are creating a generation of ME, ME, ME children.  We are not doing them any favors by allowing them to continue in ways that will not produce respectful, responsible, hard-working adults.

 

I began this with God's Word and I will end it in the same way.

Proverbs 29:17

Correct thy son, and he shall give thee rest; yea, he shall give delight unto thy soul.

Ephesians 6:4

And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

Colossians 3:21

Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

 

I hope these posts this past week have been a blessing and given you something to think upon.

Remember - we are held accountable for how we rear our children.  Let's take it seriously.