04/27/09

More grass.


Forgive me for continuing in this sad thought process. I just need to get some things out.

Today was difficult. The Lord got me through it and I know it only came from Him. I was dreading today, actually. I knew I had to be "everything" for my students when all I really wanted to do was go some place quiet, think, and cry about what all has happened. I have been so shocked over the loss of my student and the parent that I honestly haven't had time to cry. I have felt as if my mouth has hung open all weekend like it would when you are totally surprised and don't know what to say. I know that the Lord gave me a pep in my step and had my day run so smoothly that it could only come from Him. He allowed everything to fall in place and for that I am grateful.

I went to the funeral home to see both families early this evening. When I read in the paper yesterday that both families would see visitors at the same funeral home at the same time I couldn't believe it, but I was so glad it worked out that way. I knew I needed to go to the parent from school first because it involved so many people from school. I just prayed that the Lord would work it out for me to be able to see the other family as well.... and He did.

It was so good to be there for the family of the parent who passed away. There were so many from school who poured through those doors. What a blessing to know she was so loved and thought of that people came to support her family through this difficult time.

When I saw the parents of my former student it was as if those years melted away and we were back to talking about how he used to be. I shared that I was so thankful I had the opportunity to see him a year or so ago and that I'll cherish that moment always. I was so glad the Lord allowed me to see them both!

With both families whose loved ones life ended so tragically, there was a peace that only God could give. They KNEW people were praying for them and KNEW God was the One Who was lifting them up. Only God can give such peace at a time like this.

It became real tonight, though. I finally have had the time to cry. These were not circumstances of a long illness or a long life filled with much. These were two individuals whose lives were cut short by our standards here on earth, but were not a surprise at all to God. I have had to constantly remind myself that it is God Who is on the throne and He sees ALL. My friend Amy put it so well in her comment to me yesterday about my photo. She said that we only see part of life in focus just like only part of my plant was in focus in the photo. But God sees it as we see it with our eyes... clear and focused on all parts.

I felt my words were so inadequate to what I felt in my heart towards those two families. All I could think of was that life is so short. We don't know what tomorrow may bring and we need to make the most of each day that the Lord gives to us.

James 4:14
Whereas ye know not what shall be on the morrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapour, that appeareth for a little time, and then vanisheth away.