I have been MIA the past few days. The way my life keeps getting crazier it may happen like that more often!
This past weekend was NON-stop and last week was as well. This week seems to be going the same direction.
Have I mentioned how much I hate the busyness that we put ourselves into? Of course, a lot of it is not that you PUT yourself there, but that it is life these days.
I don't like it.
I don't like it one bit.
I miss the days I could come home to my babies and we cuddled at 4:00 and watched Stanley.
I miss the days I felt like I had time to SPEND WITH MY CHILDREN WITHOUT YELLING AT THEM TO DO SOMETHING. (get the point I'm makin'??)
I miss the days I could come home and sit down to catch my breath a minute.
I miss the days I enjoyed a moment to go out and photograph something that may interest me.
I am so busy with my responsibilities at school that most days I feel I am a failure as a Mom. By the time I get home from all that I do at school I just can't "go there" with homework some days even though I do. Make sense? I feel as if I am not able to give my own children what I give 24 every day of the week and it saddens me.
Am I whining today?
Probably so.
Forgive me for being that way. It seems this busy mess has given me a headache and a whiny spirit.
While your babies are young love those moments even though they seem tedious, too. They are actually the easiest moments you'll have for a LONG time.
6 comments:
You are not whining and I feel your pain. I keep reminding myself that it IS those small moments, like sitting and watching 'Stanley' together that they will remember most, not necessarily the BIG things that maybe I'm working so hard for in order to provide. Maybe it's Gods way of reminding us of that? hmmm...
Glad to know I am not the only one who feels that way sometimes! You are a wonderful teacher and an excellent mom! Your sweet kids are proof of that!!!!! :)
I can't imagine the overwhelming "pull/division" you must feel, wanting (rightly so) to spend time & energy with your own children, but depleted of both by the expectations of fulfilling all the other obligations! I have always heard that teaching is the best job for moms because they can have the same hours as their kids, but anything that drains you so much that you have nothing left for the ones God blessed you with is still not a perfect job. As a Titus 2 woman, I'd encourage you to eliminate anything you can to spend time & energy (fun instead of yelling....) on your precious little ones while you still have the time. They will be grown & gone before you know it! God has better plans for us than our culture expects of us, & even than our church/school/whatever-that-is-good expects of us. I'm praying for you!
I just want to give your post a hearty AMEN and let you know you are not alone in your feelings...I'm right there with ya! My only comfort is that I know God will not give me more than I can handle (He has promised that!!). So He knows where you are in your stuggles, and He promises to give you the strength needed day by day (hour by hour, minute by minute). I'll pray for you!
((((hugs))))
You are a wonderful teacher and an amazing mom. Hang in there!!!
I don't know how you do it all, but I do know that you are a great teacher and a wonderful mom.
It's okay to still enjoy those little moments
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