Tears of a child

I found out yesterday that Daddy had to put down the cow at the clinic. Diamond was his name and he had been there as long as Daddy. He was Daddy's pet and quite special and he was also Mikayla's favorite. It broke my heart to find out he had to put him down yesterday because I have been trying to get up there so Mikayla could see him one last time. I was even going to do a scrapbook page on it so she would always have that in her memories. Well, when we got sick last week that kind of put a damper on it and then school started back and we didn't get the chance. I had to tell her today. I waited until this afternoon when we were alone. Wesley had gone home with a friend and I decided to tell her then. She took it better than I thought at first, but now, at bedtime, when she normally prayed for Diamond to get better, she began to cry. It broke my heart and I cried with her. I knew this was going to be hard. I realize it is just a cow, but to a five year old that cow was pretty special. (Of course, I am 34 and cried, too!!!) What was pitiful is when she told me on the way home this afternoon..."But Mommy, I PRAYED for Diamond!" I told her I know and that she needed to understand that her prayers helped him to last a few weeks longer than we thought he would. (He was old and had arthritis.) What a hard thing to explain and a hard thing to hear.

Steve helped me put some things back into perspective today. He told me one of his co-workers child who is about Wesley and Mikayla's age found out she has a brain tumor. It just makes you thankful your children can get up and be healthy. I had talked to their teacher today and she had explained how they were pretty much "average" and that Wesley is pretty weak in reading right now and Mikayla is a little better. I was a bit bummed over it, although I knew that was the case, but it is always hard news to chew on when you hear it. Well, after what Steve told me tonight, I know that it is alright. Their schoolwork is something we can work on....we don't have a sick child with a life threatening illness. Thank the Lord for His goodness.

I will say that overall today was a better day. I am still a bit in my "funk" but much better. It is just hard getting back into the swing of things again.

Tonight while we were cleaning up the kitchen Steve put on the new Martina McBride CD Timeless. It is really good and has old songs and the old country on it. Wesley was exhausted and laying in front of the fireplace going to sleep so I went ahead and put him to bed before Mikayla. When I came out from saying prayers with him and kissing him goodnight I heard Steve and Mikayla laughing. I walked in the kitchen and saw them dancing together. Can I just say that tugged at the heartstrings? (Still is, in fact, as I am typing..) It was SO precious and something I wish I could have frozen in time. I knew a picture wouldn't have done it justice, but I wish I had grabbed my camera. Of course, I stood there for quite a while and soaked it all in. Then, Steve and I began to dance around the kitchen. You know, that really did me good tonight. Steve was making me laugh and being all goofy. Have I said lately how much I love that man and am so thankful for him? What a treasure I have here on earth...

My Mom left "treasures" in our mailbox today. It was quite funny and something she hasn't done in a long time. She had gotten some bedroom slippers that were too little for her feet so she bagged them up and stuck them in my mailbox for me so I could try them. HA! She also wrapped up sugar wafers for the kids so they could have something to open and wrote them a little love note on the outside. That was the sweetest thing. It just reminded me yet again how thankful I am that she is still here.

OK..I have pretty much been teary-eyed or cried through the entire typing of today's blog. I think I need to just go sit by the fire and calm my nerves. :o) And, yes, the fireplace is going tonight. We haven't needed it for part of the week since it has been so warm and I don't think this cold is going to last but a couple of days. I really would love some snow. I want winter...not spring/summer. We'll see what the Lord has in store for us.

Have a great day! I'm off to settle my emotions in front of the fire! :o)