05/30/12

This post today may not be for any males out there who might read my blog.  lol  I am having a "Mother Moment" so bear with me.

This is how I have seen my daughter for a long time now.  I realize she is growing up and I realize she is changing into a young lady.  However, the rosy cheeks, curly hair and bangs are always in my mind.

 I have had to wake up and realize she isn't that little girl anymore, but growing more and more each day.  Gone are the bangs, the curly hair is wavy and beautiful.  She adores more grown up things.

Because she is growing up I knew it was time to help her in some things.  We've already had talks and they have gone over well.  She knows what she needs to know NOW.  More will come later, I realize.

However, last night, it was surreal.

I helped my baby girl shave her legs for the first time.

Now, I realize this is a wonderful time in the life of a girl.  I remember well the first time I finally got rid of the horrid dark hair that covered my legs.

But that was ME.

This was MY LITTLE GIRL.

We bought pink shaving cream and pink razors just for her.

On the outside I was calm, cool, and collected.  I was her MOTHER for goodness sake!  I KNOW things and it is my duty to impart this knowledge at the appropriate times in her life.

On the inside, I couldn't believe how nervous I was at actually helping her shave the first time.  I just didn't want to hurt her or scar her for life as I am known to be quite heavy handed.   I wanted to take the bull by the horns and just shave them all for her so she wouldn't hurt herself.  (I remember all too well the issues I had.... lol)  BUT... I had to let her do it.  I had to let her experience it.

I had told her "Now, you realize when you start this there is no turning back... you'll have to do this for the rest of your life."  

She was ready.  She was excited!

I think I had said that for ME and not really for her.  I am not sure I was ready!

It was the continuing realization that my baby girl is no longer that baby.

She has been sharing with me about things that concern her.  I can talk with her freely.  It isn't so much the same relationship as it was when she was smaller.

Don't get me wrong... I am loving this new season of our lives.  It is a wonderful chance to get to know her in a different way while still being her Mom.  I am still not her "friend" yet.... that will come in time.

However, last night was just so poignant and surreal for me.  I knew we were moving into a new season of life.  

Is it that I am grieving the moments that are now in the past?  I honestly don't know.

What I am learning is that I am growing right alongside her.  I love the young lady she is becoming and I pray that she will always desire to be close to the Lord.  I pray that she will always feel that being modest is the only appropriate way to be.

I am just remembering last night and the memory we made together.

But for this moment, I am still seeing my little girl... just a little more grown.