04/30/12

 

This is an online article I read recently and it spoke volumes to me as a teacher.  It is something I desire all parents to understand.  It is long, but I hope you read to the end. 

Editor's note: Ron Clark, author of "The End of Molasses Classes: Getting Our Kids Unstuck -- 101 Extraordinary Solutions for Parents and Teachers," has been named "American Teacher of the Year" by Disney and was Oprah Winfrey's pick as her "Phenomenal Man." He founded The Ron Clark Academy, which educators from around the world have visited to learn.

(CNN) -- This summer, I met a principal who was recently named as the administrator of the year in her state. She was loved and adored by all, but she told me she was leaving the profession.

I screamed, "You can't leave us," and she quite bluntly replied, "Look, if I get an offer to lead a school system of orphans, I will be all over it, but I just can't deal with parents anymore; they are killing us."

Unfortunately, this sentiment seems to be becoming more and more prevalent. Today, new teachers remain in our profession an average of just 4.5 years, and many of them list "issues with parents" as one of their reasons for throwing in the towel. Word is spreading, and the more negativity teachers receive from parents, the harder it becomes to recruit the best and the brightest out of colleges.

So, what can we do to stem the tide? What do teachers really need parents to understand?

For starters, we are educators, not nannies. We are educated professionals who work with kids every day and often see your child in a different light than you do. If we give you advice, don't fight it. Take it, and digest it in the same way you would consider advice from a doctor or lawyer. I have become used to some parents who just don't want to hear anything negative about their child, but sometimes if you're willing to take early warning advice to heart, it can help you head off an issue that could become much greater in the future.

Trust us. At times when I tell parents that their child has been a behavior problem, I can almost see the hairs rise on their backs. They are ready to fight and defend their child, and it is exhausting. One of my biggest pet peeves is when I tell a mom something her son did and she turns, looks at him and asks, "Is that true?" Well, of course it's true. I just told you. And please don't ask whether a classmate can confirm what happened or whether another teacher might have been present. It only demeans teachers and weakens the partnership between teacher and parent.

Please quit with all the excuses

The truth is, a lot of times it's the bad teachers who give the easiest grades, because they know by giving good grades everyone will leave them alone.
Ron Clark

And if you really want to help your children be successful, stop making excuses for them. I was talking with a parent and her son about his summer reading assignments. He told me he hadn't started, and I let him know I was extremely disappointed because school starts in two weeks.

His mother chimed in and told me that it had been a horrible summer for them because of family issues they'd been through in July. I said I was so sorry, but I couldn't help but point out that the assignments were given in May. She quickly added that she was allowing her child some "fun time" during the summer before getting back to work in July and that it wasn't his fault the work wasn't complete.

Can you feel my pain?

Some parents will make excuses regardless of the situation, and they are raising children who will grow into adults who turn toward excuses and do not create a strong work ethic. If you don't want your child to end up 25 and jobless, sitting on your couch eating potato chips, then stop making excuses for why they aren't succeeding. Instead, focus on finding solutions.

Parents, be a partner instead of a prosecutor

And parents, you know, it's OK for your child to get in trouble sometimes. It builds character and teaches life lessons. As teachers, we are vexed by those parents who stand in the way of those lessons; we call them helicopter parents because they want to swoop in and save their child every time something goes wrong. If we give a child a 79 on a project, then that is what the child deserves. Don't set up a time to meet with me to negotiate extra credit for an 80. It's a 79, regardless of whether you think it should be a B+.

This one may be hard to accept, but you shouldn't assume that because your child makes straight A's that he/she is getting a good education. The truth is, a lot of times it's the bad teachers who give the easiest grades, because they know by giving good grades everyone will leave them alone. Parents will say, "My child has a great teacher! He made all A's this year!"  Wow. Come on now. In all honesty, it's usually the best teachers who are giving the lowest grades, because they are raising expectations. Yet, when your children receive low scores you want to complain and head to the principal's office.

Please, take a step back and get a good look at the landscape. Before you challenge those low grades you feel the teacher has "given" your child, you might need to realize your child "earned" those grades and that the teacher you are complaining about is actually the one that is providing the best education.

And please, be a partner instead of a prosecutor. I had a child cheat on a test, and his parents threatened to call a lawyer because I was labeling him a criminal. I know that sounds crazy, but principals all across the country are telling me that more and more lawyers are accompanying parents for school meetings dealing with their children.

Teachers walking on eggshells

I feel so sorry for administrators and teachers these days whose hands are completely tied. In many ways, we live in fear of what will happen next. We walk on eggshells in a watered-down education system where teachers lack the courage to be honest and speak their minds. If they make a slight mistake, it can become a major disaster.

My mom just told me a child at a local school wrote on his face with a permanent marker. The teacher tried to get it off with a wash cloth, and it left a red mark on the side of his face. The parent called the media, and the teacher lost her job. My mom, my very own mother, said, "Can you believe that woman did that?"  I felt hit in the gut. I honestly would have probably tried to get the mark off as well. To think that we might lose our jobs over something so minor is scary. Why would anyone want to enter our profession? If our teachers continue to feel threatened and scared, you will rob our schools of our best and handcuff our efforts to recruit tomorrow's outstanding educators.

Finally, deal with negative situations in a professional manner.  If your child said something happened in the classroom that concerns you, ask to meet with the teacher and approach the situation by saying, "I wanted to let you know something my child said took place in your class, because I know that children can exaggerate and that there are always two sides to every story. I was hoping you could shed some light for me." If you aren't happy with the result, then take your concerns to the principal, but above all else, never talk negatively about a teacher in front of your child. If he knows you don't respect her, he won't either, and that will lead to a whole host of new problems.

We know you love your children. We love them, too. We just ask -- and beg of you -- to trust us, support us and work with the system, not against it. We need you to have our backs, and we need you to give us the respect we deserve. Lift us up and make us feel appreciated, and we will work even harder to give your child the best education possible.

That's a teacher's promise, from me to you.

04/29/12

 

Proverbs 25:28

He that hath no rule over his own spirit is like a city that is broken down, and without walls.

04/28/12

 

I was able to photograph this precious newborn today.  I am also going to be photographing four young siblings in a bit.  Busy day but quite fun capturing these precious faces!

04/27/12

More beauty from the dogwood.  :)

 

Yesterday after we got home from school and Fine Arts, I told the kids we had to clean.

Our house has become quite the disastrous area in the last couple to three weeks because of everything we have had going on.  I had had enough and it was time to clean!

Upon voicing those words to my precious children, I began to notice my son sagging in his stature.  "I've been at school all day, Mom!" 

"I'm tired!"

I understood his statement... truly I did.  

I realize we had been at Fine Arts with Mikayla while he had been at school.  However, that is no different than our other Thursdays when we have cleaned after school.

As I shared that with my precious son, I noticed it didn't help.  I specifically noticed we are getting to the age of hormonal imbalances and I needed to do something about it.

I could have authoritatively voiced my expectations with a commanding voice.  (I can do that really well, you know, since I am a teacher.)

I could have gone up to him and demanded that he get busy NOW.

Instead, I saw that a different type of intervention was needed.

HUMOR.

I began to sing.

I began to share with my precious ones that I was going to "get" them.

I began to run after my precious son and chase him around the house.

We ended up having a tickle/pillow fight.

That lasted quite a while.

We laughed.

We laughed a lot.

When it was said and done I had a son who was willing to help me clean and told me that was the best time he had had all day.

I also had two children who said their mother was crazy.

Who, me????

Proverbs 17:22a
A merry heart doeth good like a medicine:

04/26/12

Dogwood blooms go through quite a transformation as they begin to bud.  I love watching things come to life!

 

We went to the Fine Arts competition with Mikayla today.  She was going for her poetry.  

We are not sure what she placed, or if she placed at all, but she did an excellent job.  We told her we were proud of her no matter what because we knew she did her best for the Lord.

I tried to get her to say her poem again this afternoon so I could video it for you all, but it seems our sweet dog, Molly, was quite the distraction after the nerves of the day settled down.  :)  

It was wonderful to take the day off of school and be Mom again.  

It was quite interesting to actually go through front carpool and wait for Wesley!

I embarrassed him as any good mother would do.  When he was coming out I yelled "Wesley!  Oh, Wessie!!" out the window.  

It was glorious.

I love embarrassing my children.  :)

Back to being Mrs. Fowler tomorrow.

04/25/12

New maple seeds and flowers....

 

Here is an article from the newspaper that I read the other day.  I thought it was quite good!  It is on Parenting and written by John Rosemond.  Not my words but I agree with it wholeheartedly!  :)

"Is your kid truly terrific?  Take this quiz

If the frequency of my own sightings is any indication, those "My Child is a Terrific Kid!" bumper stickers are becoming ubiquitous.  I did some investigating and discovered that Terrific Kids is a school-based character-building program sponsored by Kiwanis.

According to the website at www.kiwaniskids.org, children  work with their classroom teachers to establish goals to improve behavior, peer relationships, attendance or school work.  When those goals are met, the kids get TK pins, a pizza party, certificates and their parents get the bumper sticker.

The teachers I spoke with told me nearly every child ends up a TK.  So it would seem the TK awards are relatively meaningless, however well-intentioned.

I've developed a 15-item inventory - the Rosemond Truly Terrific Kid Scale - that will tell parents whether their child is truly terrific.

Any given child begins with 15 points.  One point is deducted for every item that is not almost always true.  Any child who ends up with a 14 or 15 points is a Truly Terrific Kid.  A score of 11 to 13 means the child is sorta, kinda terrific; 9 or 10 points reflects less than terrific; and 8 or below is not terrific (in need of lots of work).  Each item begins with "The child.....

1.  Eats whatever foods he is served without complaint.

2.  Does his homework without being told, does at least 90 percent without asking for help and does his best in school.

3.  Looks an adult in the face when spoken to and responds appropriately.

4.  Asks for something by saying "please."

5.  Receives something by saying "thank you."

6.  Declines something by saying "no, thank you."

7.  Addresses adults as Mr., Miss or Mrs. as opposed to using their first names.

8.  Obeys classroom and playground rules at all times.

9.  Neither creates nor participates in conflicts with or between peers.

10.  Knows not to enter an elevator until everyone who so desires has exited.

11.  Does not use a cellphone for talking or texting in social situations.

12.  Goes to bed in his own bed without complaint and goes quickly to sleep.

13.  Does not often create or participate in sibling conflict.

14.  Accepts responsibility when confronted with misdeeds.

15.  Does not interrupt adult conversations, including phone conversations.

It should be obvious that my scale reflects as much on parents as it does on a child.  If you/your child did well, you certainly deserve a bumper sticker, but you'll have to take care of that yourself."

~John Rosemond

www.rosemond.com

04/24/12

I love new growth in plants.

 

I also love to see growth in my children.

This past weekend one of my precious ones wanted to go off with friends to the playground during Super Saturday.

You may think this is not a big deal, but it actually was.

We had visitors on campus.  The school is near public areas.  The school can sometimes have unwanted guests as any public area can have.

I told my precious one "NO."  There was no adult supervision and I was not allowing them back there.  My precious one said that one of the friend's Mom had said it was OK.

As much as I love that friend's Mom, I was not that Mom.

I stood firm and kept my "NO" as "NO."

I was not very well liked right after by my precious one.  There were eyes that rolled and words that were spoken of "not fair."

I couldn't worry about that for the moment.... all I knew is that I wanted danger to be avoided.

On the way home, my precious one and I had a talk.  I shared that I knew this precious one was angry with me and that words were said/eyes were rolled.

A sheepish "Heehee'' came from the back of the van.

I began to explain that my precious ones could have been taken by strangers, injuries could have occurred or other scenarios.  I also explained that without someone I trusted back there watching them I was not going to take anything to chance just because we were on school grounds.

I continued to explain to my precious one that when I say "NO" there is always a reason.  It isn't just to make life terribly hard, but to help make life better.  I could see a picture of what could possibly happen in my mind that my precious one could not see.

My precious one had to TRUST me.

My precious one began to realize WHY I had said "NO" and stood firm with it.

My precious one grew some that day.

Growth comes little by little.  Growth happens slowly, but when it is grown correctly and the roots are established then the plant is much healthier and stronger.

That is the same thoughts I have for my precious one(s).

04/23/12

These "yellow bells" (or forsythia) were so lovely a few weeks ago.  They don't last long at this stage so I am glad I get to still enjoy those beautiful blooms!

 

Work with me on today's post... everything begins with an "I."

I....

...cannot stand TV's in restaurants.  There is nothing like sitting in front of someone who is gazing at the screen behind your head.  Great communication.

.... have a hard time with people that do not listen when I am trying to help.

..... drank so much homemade mocha latte this past weekend that I probably gained five pounds.

...... only have 4 more Mondays of school.

..... need to clean my house.... seriously.  

......  lost a folder at school that had important information in it.   Thankfully, my sidekick Lori found it!  

...... have too many things on my plate right now, but seem to keep adding more.

...... put in two contacts in the same eye this past Saturday.  I thought my vision had drastically changed in 24 hours.

...... haven't exercised since last Tuesday.  That is not good.

...... cannot wait to photograph a newborn this weekend.  :)

...... found out through searching for something for my class that the Metro (subway) in Washington, DC is 36 years old.

...... am taking off of school to go with Mikayla to her Fine Arts performance this Thursday.  I'll have to get her to say it for you all.

..... still get butterflies when Sweet Man winks at me.

...... love chocolate.  (oh, you already knew that...)

04/22/12

Today is Earth Day.

A day to celebrate "Mother Earth."

I don't celebrate "Mother Earth."

I celebrate my Creator.

Each day and every day.

 

Those that celebrate Earth Day celebrate the creation more than the Creator.

Mother Nature did not create this planet we live upon.

God created this planet with just speaking.

Let's be careful not to worship the wrong thing!

Romans 1:25

who exchanged the truth of God for the lie, and worshiped and served the creature rather than the Creator, who is blessed forever. Amen.

04/21/12

The cherry blossoms always bring joy to my heart in the spring.  I love seeing their beauty.

 

We had our Super Saturday at school today.

It has been a very busy day and I am beat.

I was on my feet from 6:25 this morning till 4:30 this afternoon....no sitting.

There was lots of cafe latte, a bit of coffee and Chick-Fil-A sold at my booth.

I am thankful for all who helped.

It was a great day!

Now I am off to prop up these sore feet.....  :)

04/20/12

Today is Friday.

I have 5 weeks of school left.

I can do this.  :)

04/19/12

Here are some maple blooms and leaves just beginning to open.  I enjoyed photographing them a few weeks back.  I do love spring.

 

As I read the book I mentioned yesterday (Take Two by Karen Kingsbury), I was struck with how quickly the years of rearing our children for the Lord can be destroyed with choices they make as they enter the world.  There are two college girls that are Christians - one that stays close to the Lord and another who wants to live "freely" and forget all that she had been taught.  It gave me a new perspective to how closely I need to be seeking the Lord daily and praying for my own two before they get out in this world.

Wesley and Mikayla live a much more sheltered life than a lot of kids their age.  I do not regret one bit of that.  

However, I also know that Satan is out there lurking and wanting to see our children fall away from God as soon as they enter the world.  

Steve and I have a huge responsibility to lead, guide, and direct our children to make choices that are pleasing to the Lord.  

Our world we live in is a scary place.

I have 7 years before ours enter that world of college, but they will be bombarded with lots in the coming years.

What if they don't make wise choices?  What if they are like the character in the book I just read and fall away from the Lord and go to the snares of the world?

What am I to do?

Pray.

Pray with everything I have and cry out to the Lord to keep my children pure and keep them close to Him.

I can't control their choices, but I can pray for them to make right choices.

This is a battle we fight ourselves, but also a battle we fight as parents for our children.

I have to give them to the Lord.

04/18/12

I think this flower is called "Star of Bethlehem."  I photographed it at Old Salem a few weeks ago.  I thought it was just lovely.

Here is a quote from one of the books I read over spring break from Karen Kingsbury (Take Two).  I thought it was very thought-provoking.

"The key to life isn't looking for a safe sameness with every passing season.  It's learning to enjoy the ride, whatever the next turn in the road might bring.  Believing that God's driving, and He'll get us home safely - however bumpy the trip."

 

I can remember not so long ago where I would have thought I was doing this and allowing the Lord to lead me, but I was still wanting control of the wheel. 

It is still a daily dying to my own desires to give up that control, but I can so understand that quote in ways I never would have before the Lord taught me a few things.

Do you allow the Lord to take the wheel and drive your life or are you still trying to sit in the driver's seat?

Your ride may be hard, but it will be much safer and have a much better outcome with God at the wheel!

04/17/12

 

This past weekend I had a "Girls Night Out" with some of my friends that I do not get to see as often.  It was a good time together, as  always.  

We had a discussion that night that got my mind "chewing."  

One of my friends had recently gone to a Catholic funeral and was talking about what the priest was saying about the person that died.  He basically was saying that because the person had been baptized as a child he was "in the faith" and now they were to pray that God would be faithful and this person would enter heaven.

Let me talk about that a bit.  I am no Bible scholar, but I do know what I have learned from Scripture shows that this is not Biblical.

First of all, sprinkling of water is not going to save you.  You usually have that done as a baby and know no different. There is no real change in your life and you live as you want and then "hope" that God is faithful at the end and you get into heaven.  Basically the priest was saying that there needs to be prayers lifted up for God to be faithful.

My God is always faithful.  My God is always there.  If you put your trust in Him and Him alone to save you, you don't have to worry about that when you die.

We then began to discuss that God would at least know that these people were "trying" and giving their best efforts to live a life to the Lord. 

Remember Cain, Adam and Eve's son, Abel's brother?

He gave his "best" offering of his fruits and vegetables that he grew as an offering to the Lord, but the Lord rejected it because he did not follow God's expectations of the sacrifice of a perfect lamb shedding blood to cover the sins.  Cain tried to do it his way. 

God reminds me plainly that we can do nothing on our own.

The Bible tells me:

Isaiah 64:6
But we are all as an unclean thing, and all our righteousnesses are as filthy rags; and we all do fade as a leaf; and our iniquities, like the wind, have taken us away.

It doesn't matter what I try to do to get to Jesus... that is all null and void because:

Romans 3:23

For all have sinned and come short of the glory of God.

Ephesians 2:8-9

For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God:

Not of works, lest any man should boast.

Titus 3:5
Not by works of righteousness which we have done, but according to his mercy he saved us, by the washing of regeneration, and renewing of the Holy Ghost; 

Salvation is a gift, not of works.  My good cannot outweigh my bad at the end of my life.  A relationship with Christ is so much different than a religious tradition or work.  

A relationship with Christ is just that... a relationship.  Because I have Christ in my heart I already have the hope.... hope as the anchor of my soul.

Hebrews 6:18-20

so that by two unchangeable things in which it is impossible for God to lie, we who have taken refuge would have strong encouragement to take hold of the hope set before us. 

This hope we have as an anchor of the soul, a hope both sure and steadfast and one which enters within the veil,  

where Jesus has entered as a forerunner for us, having become a high priest forever according to the order of Melchizedek. 

Just because someone is religious does not mean they are going to enter God's glory of Heaven when they die.  There are many people out in this world who say they believe in God, but they don't know Him.

 Matthew 7:22-24

Many will say to me in that day, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in thy name? and in thy name have cast out devils? and in thy name done many wonderful works?
And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity.
Therefore whosoever heareth these sayings of mine, and doeth them, I will liken him unto a wise man, which built his house upon a rock:

Matthew 7:14
Because strait is the gate, and narrow is the way, which leadeth unto life, and few there be that find it.

Have you ever put your faith in the Lord Jesus Christ alone to save you?  All of your works will not save you.  

Don't put it off.  Tomorrow may be too late.

04/16/12

 

My spring break is over.

It has been back to school today.

I thoroughly enjoyed my time off.... and desperately needed it.

So what did I do over my wonderful break?

1.  I finished a book I had been reading, read another whole book and started another book and got through the middle of the book.

2.  I photographed my very own babies.  We did their 12 year pics at the clinic where my Daddy works.  It was awesome.

3.  I photographed a bride for her portrait.  I will be photographing the wedding in June.  We had a great time.  :)  (Can't show you sneak peaks of that, now can I?)

4.  I slept in... a lot.

5.  I exercised more than I normally have a chance to do.  It was good... although I don't think there were any pounds lost. lol

6.  I took naps.

7.  I went to Siler City and got their famous cheeseburgers.  I ate my cheeseburger, the rest of Wesley's and the rest of Mikayla's.  (Maybe that is why there was no pound loss this week?? lol)  I figure I only get them every now and again so I was going to enjoy the scrumptiousness of them!  Steve got to go this time... he has never been before.  He loved it and wished we could have stayed longer.  We saw three bulls fighting and were all mesmerized watching them.  We do well with cheap entertainment.  It really is a neat place to visit.

8.  I enjoyed the wonder of new birth while watching baby birds in a nest on the door decoration at our front door.  We heard them all week and it drove the cats crazy.  We got to see them begin flying yesterday.  I would have loved to have photographed them better, but I didn't get a chance.  You'll eventually see a pic or two of the mom or dad with one of the babies.  

9.  I finally got to meet an online friend, Amy.  She lives in California and was coming out here with her daughter to check out colleges.  Steve and I opened our home to them both to help with the cost of hotels.  We only got to spend a few hours together as they got in at 2:30 Sunday morning (Easter) and had to leave after church.  Hopefully she will send me a pic of us together that they took at church.  I couldn't believe I had forgotten to take a picture!  Maybe it was that 3:30 bedtime and 7:30 rising to get to church that did it to me.  :)  It truly was wonderful to finally meet her after knowing her online all of these years!

10.   I enjoyed not hearing "Mrs. Fowler" but "MOM."  I loved every minute of being home with my kiddos.  I cherish those times.  I watched them use their imaginations and work hard around the house.  I never once heard "I am bored."  I am thankful.

11.  I got my second wind to finish out this year.  We only have 6 weeks of school left.

I CAN DO THIS.

04/15/12

John 17:9

I pray for them: I pray not for the world, but for them which thou hast given me; for they are thine.

04/14/12

04/13/12

The pictures the last few days have been of the blooms of a Bradford pear tree. :)

"Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow; it empties today of its strength."

~ Corrie ten Boom