tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-193410722024-03-25T08:44:48.023-04:00Just MeJust about me and my familyKelliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05667053558748094010noreply@blogger.comBlogger1914125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19341072.post-20832812416658227572024-03-24T18:21:00.001-04:002024-03-24T18:52:40.618-04:00A Rainbow and Praying for NO<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhdaoYdUKUgMvoMOfHPr-_QQIFTIY4Pb7qi8G5AqrDpUBuiRdLpFg3BjQFGLa6ZVks51TYtAd_W9VhffgVvCePEM26NFjZ1c_YyTSot0ec7Kc6Zpv7sEgZzhEbjILQCnvmZc2vQ2bURl6zpDlHLWRa6FvfP0bmdRH3uBaKvMb7Zqwzyuhn9k6dlUg/s5400/rainbow2023.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="4050" data-original-width="5400" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhdaoYdUKUgMvoMOfHPr-_QQIFTIY4Pb7qi8G5AqrDpUBuiRdLpFg3BjQFGLa6ZVks51TYtAd_W9VhffgVvCePEM26NFjZ1c_YyTSot0ec7Kc6Zpv7sEgZzhEbjILQCnvmZc2vQ2bURl6zpDlHLWRa6FvfP0bmdRH3uBaKvMb7Zqwzyuhn9k6dlUg/w400-h300/rainbow2023.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>I took this photo late last summer or early fall. I was taken aback by the beauty I could see from the rainbow with the dark clouds behind it. Where the blue skies and sun were clearly shining, the beauty could not be seen as much. I have recently learned a lesson from this picture.<div><br /></div><div>I think everyone knows it takes the sun (light) and rain (water) to make a rainbow. Sometimes we get so caught up in the beauty of the rainbow we forget there had to be rain to make it. With rain comes dark clouds. <div><br /></div><div>My family and I have prayed specifically for the Lord to work something out the way we just knew it would be best for our family. Of course, we were seeing everything from the here and now. The Lord, Who created this rainbow, sees things in such a way we could never experience with our finite minds. We humans so often fail to remember that. My family and I surely did.</div><div><br /></div><div>Our prayer at first was YES. Yes, Lord, let this perfect plan come about so our family can shout your praises about how you worked all things out in miraculous ways! We had it all figured out as to how perfect everything would be as it fell into place. </div><div><br /></div><div>But then, the answer was "NO." </div><div><br /></div><div>"NO? Really, Lord? NO?... But.... it was such a PERFECT plan and WE thought...."</div><div><br /></div><div>"Ok. Well, if NO is what you are saying, then for this next thing we are waiting to hear about and praying for surrounding our family, we will pray NO."</div><div><br /></div><div><div>As my family and I were praying over these answers, I began to read a book entitled <i>God is Able</i> by Priscilla Shirer that broke down Ephesians 3:20-21:</div><div><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: red;">Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think, according to the power that works within us, </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: red;">to Him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus to all generations forever and ever. Amen.</span></div><div><br /></div><div>I was thrilled to realize this set of verses was what the book was about. I had claimed this group of verses several years ago when our son went through a learning program to help strengthen his cognitive skills. I just knew this was the Lord showing me He was going to answer our prayers in the way we wanted. I was reading it thinking that it would give me the wisdom to help others when they were waiting for the Lord to answer a prayer. I was going to be shouting for joy that the Lord did far more abundantly beyond all we could ask or think in this situation!</div><div><br /></div></div><div>As I kept going to the Lord and praying fervently over my family, my prayer request one morning at school with my fellow teachers was exactly: "I am praying for NO."</div><div><br /></div><div>And this time the Lord answered my request the way I prayed! Sortof....</div><div><br /></div><div> He told <b><u>ME:</u></b> "NO, Kellie."</div><div> </div><div>The circumstance we were praying for the "no" actually received the "YES." </div><div><br /></div><div>"NO for me and the prayers of my family? A 'yes' for the other? But.... I asked for NO this time! Really, Lord? Really?" </div><div><br /></div><div>I began to wrestle with the Lord. I was the strong-willed one wrestling with the Creator. I was angry that He did not answer the prayer as I had wanted. I had forgotten so quickly how little I am and how big my God is. The creature was telling the Creator what to do. The finite one was telling the infinite One what should be happening.</div><div><br /></div><div>When life reflects only the blue and clear sky I cannot see those promises of His truth. I want the rainbow - but without the dark clouds and rain. I want MY answer but without any struggle or pain. After wrestling with the Lord He began to show me through the dark clouds of my Momma's heart that His promises never fail and I can actually see them better because of the darkness, struggle, and pain.</div><div><br /></div><div>Promises such as: </div><div><br /></div><div><b>Ephesians 3:20-21 (NASB)</b> <i>quoted above but let's see it again: </i></div><div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: #e06666;"><b><i>Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think, according to the power that works within us, </i></b></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: #e06666;"><b><i>to Him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus to all generations forever and ever. Amen.</i></b></span></div></div><div><br /></div><div><b>I Corinthians 2:9 (ESV)</b></div><div><div><span style="color: #ffa400;"><i><b>But, as it is written, "What no eye has seen, nor ear heard, nor the heart of man imagined, what God has prepared for those who love him”</b></i></span></div></div><div><br /></div><div><b>Isaiah 55:8-11 (ESV)</b></div><div><div><i><b><span style="color: #f1c232;">For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord.</span></b></i></div><div><i><b><span style="color: #6aa84f;">For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.</span></b></i></div><div><i><span style="color: #6fa8dc;">“For as the rain and the snow come down from heaven and do not return there but water the earth, making it bring forth and sprout, giving seed to the sower and bread to the eater,</span></i></div><div><i><span style="color: #3b50da;">so shall my word be that goes out from my mouth; it shall not return to me empty, but <b><u>it shall accomplish that which I purpose, and shall succeed in the thing for which I sent it.</u></b></span></i></div><div><span style="color: #674ea7;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="color: #674ea7;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="color: #674ea7;">As the heavens are higher than the earth and as the rainbow stretches out above the earth I stare up at its majesty. His thoughts are not my thoughts. I cannot see what the Lord sees. I have to trust Him that his "NO" is the best. </span></div><div><br /></div><div>The rain still falls from my eyes regarding His "NO." But, I trust Him and await the rainbow of His promises as the water from my eyes mixes with the Light of His Word to view the splendor that is above and beyond all that we could ask or think for our family.</div><div><br /></div><div>And to HIM will be the glory.</div></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" class="BLOG_video_class" height="376" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/JtjxCx-7Hps" width="452" youtube-src-id="JtjxCx-7Hps"></iframe></div><br /><div><br /></div><div><p></p></div></div>Kelliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05667053558748094010noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19341072.post-60524998717052120582024-03-10T18:35:00.000-04:002024-03-10T18:35:52.961-04:00Pouring In <p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEie5H-IfU7Xy1YRzSii-ncr6t07UT-tGou_KN3K19mnaeB6jeziYtW9oyvK9-ITNDVCUUL_VxmhjBv6u65gkvGAxNtyXTq7EoA67V3FJhHpp6bynukMtzc2I4E8AeC2RfGRVCfUGGX1py3rWgCFr-3JINXcFbdj0-BRmUD59u37aUxcV1uOM8GtKg/s3456/pouring%20water%2001.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="3456" data-original-width="2304" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEie5H-IfU7Xy1YRzSii-ncr6t07UT-tGou_KN3K19mnaeB6jeziYtW9oyvK9-ITNDVCUUL_VxmhjBv6u65gkvGAxNtyXTq7EoA67V3FJhHpp6bynukMtzc2I4E8AeC2RfGRVCfUGGX1py3rWgCFr-3JINXcFbdj0-BRmUD59u37aUxcV1uOM8GtKg/w266-h400/pouring%20water%2001.jpg" width="266" /></a></div><p></p>My son was doing maintenance on his truck last summer and changing the oil. He found the diesel oil, checked it, smelled it, and looked at it and all seemed normal. He poured it into his engine and went on with his day. As the day wore on his truck began to act really strange and was not running properly. By the next day he had to park the truck as the engine froze. <div><br /></div><div>He could not understand what had happened until he went back to the diesel oil container and looked at it again comparing it to other liquids in the barn. He found that what he thought was diesel oil in that container was actually weed killer. What he thought was real diesel oil had actually been an empty container that had been used in the past couple of years as a storage place for extra mixed weed killer - but had not been marked as to what was truly in the bottle. </div><div><br /></div><div>It looked like the real thing and he said it even felt like the real oil, but it killed his engine. His truck was totaled. What he thought he was pouring in to help his motor actually ended up being detrimental. <p></p></div><div>He and I have discussed many times how applicable his issue with his truck is to our spiritual lives. How many times have we poured in something to our "spiritual engines" that looked, smelled, and felt right, only to find out it was "spiritual weed killer?"</div><div><br /></div><div>There are many things in this world that we pour into our lives each day: social media, the news, music, podcasts, day-to-day conversations, etc.. What we pour into our lives will either strengthen and maintain our "spiritual engines" or it will cause them to lock up and die.</div><div><br /></div><div>This year my heart has been focused on pouring in TRUTH and how important it is to search for it. There are a lot of "truths" out in our world, but can they really ALL be a truth when they are saying different things? What my son thought was "true oil" turned out to be something totally different and destructive. I cannot help but think of all we see and hear that permeate our minds and hearts. There can be things that seem to be good for us to pour into our lives, but in the end they leave us spiritually weakened and destroyed.</div><div><br /></div><div>The Lord has been impressing more and more on my heart that I must go to His Word for truth and life. In His Word He tells us how HE made this world. It is His creation and He knows the beginning from the end. God's truth is how we can hold on when things are dark and heavy. It is there we find ways to praise Him when the days are easy and our burdens are light. His truth will lead you the right way when the unexpected happens and you do not know how the next step will be taken. His truth is the light in the darkness, the balm to the soul, the "correct oil for our spiritual engines." </div><div><br /></div><div>God's TRUTH is what </div><div><br /></div><div>guides, </div><div><br /></div><div>heals, </div><div><br /></div><div>saves, </div><div><br /></div><div>calms,</div><div><br /></div><div>frees,</div><div><br /></div><div>moves,</div><div><br /></div><div>FILLS.</div><div><br /></div><div>I want to be pouring God's Word into my life and heart so much as I maintain my "spiritual engine" that I am safe from becoming spiritually destroyed because I am filled with TRUTH. </div><div><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">John 10:10 (NIV)</div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white;">The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life,</span><span style="background-color: white;"> and have it to the full.</span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 16px;"><br /></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white;">Psalm 86:11 (CSB)</span></span></div><div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Teach me your way, </span><span class="small-caps divine-name" style="font-family: inherit; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-caps: small-caps; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal;">Lord</span><span style="font-family: inherit;">,</span></div><span style="font-family: inherit;"><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">and I will live by your truth.</span></div><span class="text Ps-86-11" style="position: relative;"><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Give me an undivided mind to fear your name.</span></div></span></span></div><div><br /></div><div>The way the Lord worked out my son's truck situation is something amazing - insurance paid off most of what was left. While for a time my son had no truck, my family saw the Lord work for him as he spoke the truth of his circumstance and let the Lord work out the details. As we clung to the Lord and His TRUTH, He poured into my son the ability to trust Him when all seemed lost. He also showed ME what it meant to use His truth to pray over a circumstance.</div><div><br /></div><div>So, what are you pouring into your "spiritual engine?" </div><div><br /></div><div>Seek His Word first. God's TRUTH will always be worth pouring over and into your life. </div>Kelliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05667053558748094010noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19341072.post-5076726553593986572023-12-24T18:11:00.000-05:002023-12-24T18:11:35.510-05:00Quiet Christmas Meditations<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">This Christmas is quiet.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">There are not the sounds of little (or big) feet constantly going back and forth in the house. Having constant busyness the few days before Christmas has not happened this year as it has in the past. In fact, I have spent more time alone since I finished my first semester of school than I can ever recall. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Life has certainly changed this year with both of our kids getting married and us now experiencing the empty nest. There are days that I am not certain what to do with myself and all of this TIME I had always so desperately wanted. While I have enjoyed the quiet and am thankful for a time of recharge, there is something surreal about where my heart is this Christmas. My Momma's heart has been full but yet empty at the same time.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">For many years, this verse has repeatedly played in my heart at Christmas because of so many changes that have been taking place with our kids getting older and nothing staying the same.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="color: #674ea7;"><b>Luke 2:19 (CSB) </b></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="color: #674ea7;"><b>But Mary was treasuring up all these things in her heart and meditating on them.</b></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">For those who personally know me, I am a deep thinker. I enjoy getting lost in my thoughts. Sometimes that is to my detriment but other times it is where my longing soul connects with the Lord in ways I cannot do when I am so busy. I resonate with how the Lord described Mary in Luke 2:19. Mary treasured everything that was happening to her and meditated on them. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">As I have sat in a lot of quietness, the Lord has drawn my heart to the past Christmases of excitement and life on the go. I fondly recall the cookies and other treats made, "reindeer food" put out on Christmas Eve, going to see Santa and the lights of Christmas, running around with friends to experience different traditions, and watching the excitement on our children's faces. This year my Momma's heart aches for that time again, but I know that life is full of changes. It is what I do with those changes that matter most.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQzlGZDRaVACu6aGginGNx3EWqT8f3xHQIM-6oDaPtZvrQOR4azR_BrsNNVVXDRsmqL0MMsqosbofx4Wo6AglUvGcYGGZL1Pw5H1O3-PVYkN6ES18qtpRoCnNope5vxW0dF3n-S3EZqK495iajgl69m6ZuCMojTSnPjBvLfpb_hZ3fL8CpXBXbTg/s4032/Christmas2023%2001.jpeg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="4032" data-original-width="3024" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQzlGZDRaVACu6aGginGNx3EWqT8f3xHQIM-6oDaPtZvrQOR4azR_BrsNNVVXDRsmqL0MMsqosbofx4Wo6AglUvGcYGGZL1Pw5H1O3-PVYkN6ES18qtpRoCnNope5vxW0dF3n-S3EZqK495iajgl69m6ZuCMojTSnPjBvLfpb_hZ3fL8CpXBXbTg/s320/Christmas2023%2001.jpeg" width="240" /></a></div>For years I have celebrated the birth of our Savior with a "fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants" feeling. Everything was just so BUSY and the excitement all around me took away the quiet that I now do not know how to handle. The picture to the left is something I drew YEARS ago for my classroom - the cute baby Jesus asleep on the hay, in a manger made out of wood (which actually would have been made of stone), covered with a purple blanket because it's my favorite color because Christmas was so - SWEET - and because it was a warm and cozy good-feeling time of the year. So innocent. So welcoming. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">The Lord is using this time in my life to help me move past the busyness and common view of "sweet" Christmas to treasure more of Him in my heart and meditate on HIM. As my life begins this quieter journey of motherhood, I can help future generations understand the beauty of Emmanuel - God With Us.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Emmanuel.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">God is always with us. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">He gives us what we need when we NEED it.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjrvomcczo0MjEdVFRVkAnk7RhOPai0tCLhV6Cf8UYA7x753yZdMn-CUNnoAT1pTrk106ZegEVNJFev9AB7h-MnNRWyOUh2KNlWX5YJcmH2qkr9lppiUqNvxD0j-3ZnzKQeheXlwfLnrJmHLCZYOzDNsTn3EbXUWtQKnK-c9kyn7Wox_1zFsXwdgw/s4800/Christmas2023%2002.jpeg.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="4800" data-original-width="3600" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjrvomcczo0MjEdVFRVkAnk7RhOPai0tCLhV6Cf8UYA7x753yZdMn-CUNnoAT1pTrk106ZegEVNJFev9AB7h-MnNRWyOUh2KNlWX5YJcmH2qkr9lppiUqNvxD0j-3ZnzKQeheXlwfLnrJmHLCZYOzDNsTn3EbXUWtQKnK-c9kyn7Wox_1zFsXwdgw/s320/Christmas2023%2002.jpeg.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>Mary and Joseph were shown a stable in which to bed down and that is where Jesus was born. The first to be told of Emmanuel were the lowly, stinky, illiterate, nomadic Shepherds. These men were seen unfavorably by society because of their job of caring for sheep. These outcasts were not the sanitized view that I also have hanging on my wall at school (the Precious Moments shepherd - so cute), but they were some of the lowest of the low. However, Emmanuel's birth was revealed to them first. He understood their need. He understood what they could and could not understand. He gave them a SIGN of a babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger. These illiterate men who were society's outcasts were given the ability to understand God's plan of redemption in a way that made sense to them! They, the keepers of the sheep for the temple, would wrap perfect lambs that would become sacrifices in the temple and place them in the stable manger area. These same men who were not seen fit to enter the temple were the first to fall down and worship the Lamb of God who would take away the sins of the whole world. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">The Lord continues to help me see that I am just like those Shepherds. I am lowly, "stinky", and unfit to enter His presence because of my sin. I am illiterate about Who He really is. I am "nomadic" in my trust in His plans for my life. Yet, HE came to ME. He will do what it takes to give me the SIGNS that He is Who He says He is. I just have to leave that pasture of busyness, search for Him, fall before Him, and adore Him. This quiet season is allowing me to do just that. I often wonder - could that have been some of what Mary was pondering in her heart? Could it have been the emotions of realizing she was holding HER Savior and she understood those shepherds' excitement? </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">This time of year can be celebrated because God came DOWN. He will do whatever is needed to draw us to Him. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Even giving a quiet emptiness that can only be filled by Him.</div><p></p>Kelliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05667053558748094010noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19341072.post-23452562906405317752023-09-04T21:04:00.000-04:002023-09-04T21:04:46.029-04:00Praise, Indeed<p>The word the Lord gave me on which to meditate for this year was "praise." </p><p>Praise was the word He gave me a few years back so I was actually surprised that He kept giving it to me for this year. I knew we would be praising the Lord with celebrations as our kids got married to the ones He had chosen for them so I figured He was just helping me have an easy word to take through the year! However, as I have walked through this year, the Lord has reminded me to praise Him - but in different ways than what I had previously thought. Yes, I praised the Lord for the weddings, but it was deeper than that. </p><p>The verse the Lord gave me for my display on our mantle to keep "praise" in front of my family was Psalm 113:3 - </p><p style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #8e7cc3;"><b>"From the rising of the sun to its setting, let the name of the Lord be praised." </b></span></p><p>Unfortunately, earlier in the year we had someone come help clean the house and they accidentally erased most of it off of my display area when dusting. Because there was so much going on between planning two weddings and teaching school, I just never had the energy to write it again. It <i>still</i> is more than halfway erased even though I had summer to fix it. </p><p>However, in all of that time, I have looked at that display realizing I must praise the Lord from the rising of the sun to its setting - <i>even when the words have been blurred and I can't see it</i>. </p><p>It is so easy to praise the Lord for what we can see. </p><p>But we also must learn to praise Him when it is something in the story of our life that has been blurred and we CANNOT SEE. That form of praise is much harder. </p><p>This year the Lord had me in a Bible study on the book of Isaiah. It was one of those studies I did not want to end. It taught me more deeply to strive less and trust the Lord more. During this study, the Lord revealed this verse in a deeper way. He showed it to me during a set of circumstances that we just did not understand. A time when it was hard to praise Him for what was happening.</p><p style="text-align: center;"><b><span style="color: #674ea7;">Psalm 12:2 (CSB) - </span></b></p><p style="text-align: center;"><b><span style="color: #674ea7;">"Indeed, God is my salvation; I will trust Him and not be afraid, for the Lord, the LORD HIMSELF is my strength and my song. He has become my salvation."</span></b></p><p>In context, this verse is part of a praise chapter in Isaiah. It is a song of praise for the Lord's deliverance of His people. Because I love to learn the importance of wording, I searched this verse in different versions of Scripture to see how it was conveyed. The way it is written in the CSB really resonated with what the Lord has been teaching me this year. </p><p>All versions I looked up began this verse with "behold" - but the CSB beginning starts with "INDEED." </p><p>I just had to look up what "indeed" means simply because there are so many words that we commonly use, but forget their true meaning.</p><p>According to Merriam-Webster "indeed" means:</p><p></p><ul style="text-align: left;"><li>without any question: TRULY, UNDENIABLY</li><li>in reality</li><li>all things considered: as a matter of fact</li></ul><p></p><p>This verse also repeats the Lord's name twice. In Scripture, anything said twice in a row gives greater emphasis to what is being communicated. Knowing that the Lord, the Lord Himself, is sovereign and in control of all that happens in our lives, we can praise Him, <b><i>indeed</i></b>.</p><p>Here is this verse as a song of praise using the words from the dictionary:</p><p><i><span style="color: #674ea7;"><b>We can praise Him, INDEED, because without any question, truly, undeniably, in reality, and as a matter of fact it is THE LORD - The LORD HIMSELF - who is our strength, song, and salvation.</b></span></i></p><p>HE IS our strength in the struggles.</p><p>HE IS our song when we feel we have lost the ability to sing His praises.</p><p>HE IS our salvation through it all.</p><p></p><ul style="text-align: left;"><li>The good and the bad. </li><li>The blurred lines of life. </li><li>The seen and unseen. </li><li>The highs and the lows. </li><li>The feelings of trust or doubt.</li></ul><p></p><p>Praise HIM.</p><p>INDEED.</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-SMXwt5Aw0NA11rkEVD2ngBZZLiJGviOKxy6cCaFrRwMuFaXJwN81dREejo4FF8OOzH4M-s3anwFLSXlBZoQYR_EtsPqH3mJ6IDijxuST9S0oLL7NUmYu-HmakRWQq1i_iiqWzUaRL5rUmkVSH2S4zxE7xVZLKapBuFmXL9sy8EPXQRjxZVMsDQ/s5400/Isaiah%2012%202%20from%202023.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="3669" data-original-width="5400" height="434" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-SMXwt5Aw0NA11rkEVD2ngBZZLiJGviOKxy6cCaFrRwMuFaXJwN81dREejo4FF8OOzH4M-s3anwFLSXlBZoQYR_EtsPqH3mJ6IDijxuST9S0oLL7NUmYu-HmakRWQq1i_iiqWzUaRL5rUmkVSH2S4zxE7xVZLKapBuFmXL9sy8EPXQRjxZVMsDQ/w640-h434/Isaiah%2012%202%20from%202023.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>Kelliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05667053558748094010noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19341072.post-28476662505518414602023-08-19T13:20:00.000-04:002023-08-19T13:20:28.480-04:00The Present<p>My Momma's Heart has continued to ponder over these last few months.</p><p>I have been thinking of THE PRESENT.</p><p>The present of my children.</p><p>The present of my life.</p><p>The present of my family.</p><p>The last few years have been a blur. The life we all have lived in this world for the last three (due to the pandemic) has been overwhelming and I have found that a lot of things have passed which caused me to not be able to retain the memory of that moment. I have had people ask if I remember something and I feel a loss in realizing I could <u>not</u> remember.</p><p>As both of our kids got married this summer, one thing the Lord kept putting on my heart was to be PRESENT. I wanted to remember. I wanted to ponder everything in my heart and keep it close. I purposely did that and will forever hold those memories in my heart. I savor every view, smell, or touch that I had on their very special days and the days leading up to the weddings. </p><p>But as I have pondered on the present, I have always been concerned that I was not always <b>present</b> as Wesley and Mikayla were growing up. Having been a teacher all of their lives, <b><i>I always felt like I had given more to my students each day than I had to my own children. </i></b></p><p>I used to scrapbook. I wish I still had the time and energy to do so, but I am so glad that at least for the first five years of their lives, Wesley and Mikayla have their lives documented! As I have been thinking about how to put the present into words, the Lord led me to the pictures below. </p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjASSsy2PoW6p4SooMjf2Ls2yUMMGpx5jOugmEfIY5QiRGyHwXhAXVHcwp1cWOZSLOF6G-dNfSw3OKLuVieHX-o48MWzmCQnVzZ-eWudXEinEFTU582UD4cAwWgnBJ4xBdK1HfcdpAhkQKQ95KHEBQ9VgfIVKn0xVgOUxY0Pdd76tgrdPWkAN2Dng/s3456/scrapbooking%20area%20the%20dining%20room%201.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2304" data-original-width="3456" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjASSsy2PoW6p4SooMjf2Ls2yUMMGpx5jOugmEfIY5QiRGyHwXhAXVHcwp1cWOZSLOF6G-dNfSw3OKLuVieHX-o48MWzmCQnVzZ-eWudXEinEFTU582UD4cAwWgnBJ4xBdK1HfcdpAhkQKQ95KHEBQ9VgfIVKn0xVgOUxY0Pdd76tgrdPWkAN2Dng/w640-h426/scrapbooking%20area%20the%20dining%20room%201.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><p></p>This was "the present" for a long time. Utter chaos! This was my scrapbooking area also known as our dining room. I was constantly trying to keep up with what Wesley and Mikayla were doing and recording it for posterity. <div><br /></div><div>All the while, I was thinking, <i><b>and have also been thinking A LOT recently</b></i>, that I was not always <b>present</b> in their growing years.<div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">I look back and realize so many times were chaotic and rushed.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">Rush to school. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">Rush to an appointment. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">Rush to a practice. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">Rush to get to bed. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">The moments are jumbled in my mind like the looks of my dining room in that picture!</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">But then I look at the picture posted below and see scattered pictures of "the present" of that specific time that I had captured. The Lord helped me see that in order to capture those pictures, I had to be present.</div><div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-U3rGwgrGpIlXgPOySM92Z6haIUmvhA9r4btMQjjyrCqOPCCFx4NKSDmgJr-Ig4TV3a2pbkfcC47Mc7N9gKHJ9DCYRIvram5ZxiX8HJf2060uKJQoZUp-UWl-JfEdvAIrKCrTWfoRi6jvUKoy2-hw7s-r0PjQvSm2yJJFF8i9lzhcqsKCS9EaJQ/s3456/scrapbooking%20area%20the%20dining%20room.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2304" data-original-width="3456" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-U3rGwgrGpIlXgPOySM92Z6haIUmvhA9r4btMQjjyrCqOPCCFx4NKSDmgJr-Ig4TV3a2pbkfcC47Mc7N9gKHJ9DCYRIvram5ZxiX8HJf2060uKJQoZUp-UWl-JfEdvAIrKCrTWfoRi6jvUKoy2-hw7s-r0PjQvSm2yJJFF8i9lzhcqsKCS9EaJQ/w640-h426/scrapbooking%20area%20the%20dining%20room.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">In that rush, I was still <b>present</b> with them. I may not remember every detail, but all of those details mesh together to create <i><b>t</b></i><b><i>he PRESENT</i></b> of where we are today. I would not take anything for that PRESENT of love and grace in my life!</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">As I continued to muse on this throughout the summer, the Lord showed me how my concerns and thoughts of being present as a Mom can apply to my spiritual life as well. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Even though in the present I may not always think or feel that the Lord is there with me, HE IS. Because He is in my PAST and knows my FUTURE, that means THE PRESENT is always in front of Him. I can trust that He will never leave me or forsake me. I can know that in the scrapbook of my life, He has remembered everything and even if I forget, He never will.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">The present is in His hands and that is the best present any of us could ever receive. We can trust and be grateful for the <b>PRESENT</b> of HIS love, grace, and faithfulness in our lives!</div></div></div></div>Kelliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05667053558748094010noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19341072.post-79655283418444379322023-04-28T06:55:00.000-04:002023-04-28T06:55:56.814-04:00Letting Go<div style="text-align: left;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjz6QHnl7VMaN8s_n-isTQhnlOUkhMyAjl-Bl5QzLkUDM7dvfO648Wole-HKeBUClbF3HT7UukFebhy7cBX8M1N9_XSqvyRuyO1x_efGjyxPfEkPGNDKg3j8QW0Lu2rstXnkYgN4puVhftRpzvkAY-JFukd4vE3NgmKMIjJZmGRguMCrD4NjGI/s599/Me%20and%20the%20babies.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="599" data-original-width="577" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjz6QHnl7VMaN8s_n-isTQhnlOUkhMyAjl-Bl5QzLkUDM7dvfO648Wole-HKeBUClbF3HT7UukFebhy7cBX8M1N9_XSqvyRuyO1x_efGjyxPfEkPGNDKg3j8QW0Lu2rstXnkYgN4puVhftRpzvkAY-JFukd4vE3NgmKMIjJZmGRguMCrD4NjGI/w308-h320/Me%20and%20the%20babies.jpg" width="308" /></a><div style="text-align: left;">Our son has just recently separated his calves from their Mommas. It was not an easy thing to witness due to the distress both were showing. When the calves were taken away to their new pasture up the road, the Mommas were bellowing.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">And they bellowed all night.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">I understand.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div>You see, this picture seems like just yesterday. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">I was finally a Momma after many years of trying and so grateful for these twins the Lord had given to us. We dedicated them to the Lord as babies. We always *knew* they were His gifts to us that would not stay under our roof forever. But that was such a LONG way away!</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">At that time, I could not see how quickly my holding onto them would turn into <b><i>letting go</i></b>.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">My reflections have increased as of late because both of these babies are getting married very soon. Along with those reflections have come some emotions for which I was not prepared. </div><p>I am feeling like those Momma cows were voicing - a deep emotional bellow. I am finding that no one can prepare you for what it means to fully "let go." </p><p>How can one put into words what it really means to let go? Could it be right now that my inward bellowing is another facet of how the Holy Spirit understands our groaning as Romans 8:26 speaks?</p><p style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="versenum" style="display: inline; font-weight: 700; line-height: normal; position: relative; top: auto; vertical-align: text-top;"><span style="font-size: 1.2rem;"> </span><span style="color: #a64d79;">"</span></span><span style="color: #a64d79;"><span style="background-color: white;">In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit</span><span style="background-color: white;"> himself intercedes for us</span><span style="background-color: white;"> through wordless groans."</span></span></span></p><p>My pondering has been all over the place. I have gone back in time to when they were born all the way up to the last second I saw them and the interactions that took place. I can see a picture of them, of which I have many, and it will take me to that moment. That memory. That clinging. However, at each moment I observe I am reminded that I have been constantly letting go from the first time I held them in my arms:</p><p style="text-align: center;">the nursery</p><p style="text-align: center;">the first crawls and walks</p><p style="text-align: center;">the first words</p><p style="text-align: center;">the first holidays</p><p style="text-align: center;">the first toddler moments</p><p style="text-align: center;">the first day of Kindergarten</p><p style="text-align: center;">the first lost tooth</p><p style="text-align: center;">the first day of being out of "my" building at school and into the Elementary</p><p style="text-align: center;">the first of many "Mom, I need...."</p><p style="text-align: center;">the first day of middle school</p><p style="text-align: center;">the first day of hormones (and all that comes with it!)</p><p style="text-align: center;">the first day of high school</p><p style="text-align: center;">the first crush</p><p style="text-align: center;">the first heartache</p><p style="text-align: center;">the first (of many) long talks and discipling with God's Word</p><p style="text-align: center;">the first day of driving</p><p style="text-align: center;">the first prom</p><p style="text-align: center;">the high school graduation (which was bad enough....)</p><p style="text-align: center;">the first day of college</p><p style="text-align: center;">the first day of meeting their special one the Lord has given to them and realizing everything was changing</p><p style="text-align: center;">the first day after they were engaged....to my almost last day of them living completely under my roof.</p><p><br /></p><p>I find myself trying to live in the past, present, and future all at the same time.</p><p>But only God can do that!</p><p>My emotions never know right now whether to laugh or cry; whether to rejoice or be sad.</p><p>All of what is happening is GOOD and ordained by God's plan. Just like my son knows that separating those Momma cows from their calves is part of life and necessary, so too is this moment with my own babies.</p><p>But the inward bellowing is a real thing. The cows just seem to voice it more easily than me.</p><p>No longer am I my son's first love. His wife will take that roll, as it should be, and they will become their own family.</p><p>No longer am I my daughter's first call (or first shopping buddy). Her husband will be the one she reaches out to first because that is what is ordained when they leave and come together as one.</p><p>I am trusting the Lord as I take their hands out of mine and put them completely into His. I just never knew when I held them the first time how hard that would actually be.</p><p>It is taking my trust in the Lord to a whole new level. </p><p>But isn't that what life is all about? Isn't that what He reminds us so often in His Word that there will be hard things and times we must let go? </p><p>But there is a truth that He shows us more strongly during these times: </p><p><b>HE never lets US go. </b></p><p>I am thankful that while I am having to let them go and He holds them tightly, <i><u>He is holding onto me, too.</u></i></p><p>My bellowing Momma's heart is clinging to that truth.</p>
<iframe allow="accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture; web-share" allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/9sE5kEnitqE" title="YouTube video player" width="560"></iframe>Kelliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05667053558748094010noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19341072.post-34556206813293764702022-12-31T16:19:00.001-05:002023-01-03T17:42:43.504-05:00Changes of Praise<p>This year, 2022, the Lord gave me the word "devotion" on which to think and grow. It has been a year of learning more devotion to Him, my family, my work, and those around me. This does not mean that I have not been a devoted person beforehand, as my heart's desire is to always be faithful. The last two years were such a distraction to my heart and soul that I needed this year to heal and process all that the Lord taught me when I was clinging to Him with everything I had. </p><p>For this coming year, the Lord is making it clear that the words on which He desires for me to ponder are <b>praise</b> and <b>change</b>.</p><p>Praise is craved. Praise is uplifting. Praise is effortless when life is going as planned.</p><p>While change is part of life, some can be viewed as welcome and exciting; others are overwhelming and exhausting.</p><p>The words of praise and change take me back to the fall of the year. Every year this season is a hectic time for me with school and other responsibilities. I rarely get the chance to view it at a slower pace. This past fall, the Lord gave me time to absorb and capture the color palette around me. It inspired my soul to view the colorful changes happening before my eyes. The Lord began to use these visual changes of fall to teach me about what He was preparing for me in the new year. </p><p>The following photograph was taken long ago before so many changes happened near our home. This is a favorite picture to which I refer back to time and again. </p><p><br /></p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifrq75OpW9s8nElA2oayiNhdFXhB0NjSP1GYuhd2yZAKVxXW5Wpzk_uH0wlUGp7wn77_BmbahLElgCCOAQA3EvZLxRsp1Exhiqj4gHuVJoY_33YHwMFZ7rm86akgH-_IQnP2eLhLthkt5dIVmnbSGw4WPydENOVhHKF0XuQDlir77y-SJRhcE/s3456/fall%20leaves%2001.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2304" data-original-width="3456" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifrq75OpW9s8nElA2oayiNhdFXhB0NjSP1GYuhd2yZAKVxXW5Wpzk_uH0wlUGp7wn77_BmbahLElgCCOAQA3EvZLxRsp1Exhiqj4gHuVJoY_33YHwMFZ7rm86akgH-_IQnP2eLhLthkt5dIVmnbSGw4WPydENOVhHKF0XuQDlir77y-SJRhcE/w400-h266/fall%20leaves%2001.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><p>There is nothing like the peak season of the leaves showing off their brilliance. The beauty that is seen is majestic and photographic. It is a time of praise to our Creator for the glory He shows us before the winter season.</p><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgTsgI0Sk4ZVlA8hXfuU29eENpSmI9LOkB0uFsCM9cIcPj0kNEl-t3a9tY_UcodRcM7o5R8ZRsByA30t0xxi-IHyuTzUq5QMoBzIJu4hx2TaP3rW2z17ixQCCZcRitIIdjQt6Tw4sGIEuysIo6waJK4Q1Y-77xWjH9nOQi8KsDPVzb89MqtvEc" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="1365" data-original-width="2048" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgTsgI0Sk4ZVlA8hXfuU29eENpSmI9LOkB0uFsCM9cIcPj0kNEl-t3a9tY_UcodRcM7o5R8ZRsByA30t0xxi-IHyuTzUq5QMoBzIJu4hx2TaP3rW2z17ixQCCZcRitIIdjQt6Tw4sGIEuysIo6waJK4Q1Y-77xWjH9nOQi8KsDPVzb89MqtvEc" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">However, as I have photographed the grandness of the fall season, when viewing the details, the changing of the leaves looks more like the picture below - not so picture-perfect. I was going to do photoshopping on the leaves to fill in the holes and give a perfect view of the leaf. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhVlgFnOAz9Md-lCAvdqj7ZoyPAWkCdZC8pBQ7FlK0hgA9v4fKMM66w6mhcn85Ne7JHT5ZH6qE72Z4ooYcVmqV3iETK3wcT7wPSykM9n7YYu2rfRZMrIqYo3CfYWDnLQJP9Q0LEDjs-HCKWh9J4gZ_biYOpMahbG2bKTbtW5P--T2BVvUic910/s5472/Fall2022%20059.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="3648" data-original-width="5472" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhVlgFnOAz9Md-lCAvdqj7ZoyPAWkCdZC8pBQ7FlK0hgA9v4fKMM66w6mhcn85Ne7JHT5ZH6qE72Z4ooYcVmqV3iETK3wcT7wPSykM9n7YYu2rfRZMrIqYo3CfYWDnLQJP9Q0LEDjs-HCKWh9J4gZ_biYOpMahbG2bKTbtW5P--T2BVvUic910/w400-h266/Fall2022%20059.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br /></div>But the Lord stopped me and used the above picture to make me pause and think. He had something to show me for my own life. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">The view of the changing leaves from afar gives a delightful impression, but the accurate and up-close view can be ugly and distracting. Very few leaves I have photographed are perfectly colored and without some type of imperfection. The holes and misshapen areas are evidence that change is not always a thing of beauty. It is a performance of dying to what once was so that it can become new again.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">As I look forward to the next year, I already see two changes coming our way because of devotion! Our children have found the one the Lord has for them and will be getting married in the late spring and mid-summer. That is praiseworthy! However, the life we have known for all these years will be forever changed. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">This Momma's Heart has been wrestling with that change. I have been devoted to my children since before they were born. As a Mom, I feel misshapen and left with holes that once were full of life. Just as in the fall season, the leaves fall and die to replenish the earth and get ready for the coming growing season, change is requiring me to fall from what I have been for so long, die to who I think I should be, and praise the Lord for what He will transform in me.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Change is part of this life. Change is beautiful. Change is hard and painful. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">But that is what <b><i>praise</i></b> in the change is all about - changing us from what we were to what we need to become. For the tree to mature, the old leaves must fall off and allow new growth to appear. The same happens in life - change causes our old selves to become something new, and in that process, praise goes to our Creator for how HE changes us. The best part of praise in the changing is that God never changes. Because He is always the same, any change in this life can be praised because He is faithful and stays the same. We can trust that the changes He is doing in us are for our good and His glory. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">So, join me in praising the Lord for change. His faithfulness allows us to look back and gaze on the overall beauty that change provides while not dwelling on what had to occur to view that beauty.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Malachi 3:6a (ESV)</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">For I the Lord do not change;</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Psalm 59:17 (CSB)</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">To you, my strength, I sing praises, because God is my stronghold - my faithful God.</div><p></p></div>Kelliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05667053558748094010noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19341072.post-90918284572582311752022-09-10T20:15:00.000-04:002022-09-10T20:15:59.552-04:00Focused Eyes<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span face="-webkit-standard, serif">I am a strong visual learner, so my eyesight is a large part of how I experience the world around me. In the last couple of years, I tried to focus on what the Lord was allowing me to view of life. Like all those around me, I could only view what was right in front of me just to survive. It was literally a step-by-step process and there was no viewing of a bigger picture. There was no time to "stop and smell, or view, the roses." </span><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in;"><o:p><span style="font-family: inherit;"> </span></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span face="-webkit-standard, serif">This year, the Lord has shown me how I can see Him again with more focused eyes. He has shown me how to look back on the last two years and see how He was always there focusing my vision even when I thought everything I saw was out of focus. </span><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in;"><o:p><span style="font-family: inherit;"> </span></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span face="-webkit-standard, serif">And He revealed this deeper truth to me using a bee.</span><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in;"><o:p><span style="font-family: inherit;"> </span></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span face="-webkit-standard, serif">If you know me personally, you know how much I love to photograph God's Creation. The details always fascinate me. To view those details up close, I use my macro lens which allows me to view what I see with magnification. At different seasons I love to capture what is on display. This summer was no different and I had the chance to aimlessly wander around and view the beauty. As I was focused on certain plants, the bees caught my eye. They were everywhere doing their God-given job of pollinating and bringing new life to the world around us, so I began to photograph them.</span><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in;"><o:p><span style="font-family: inherit;"> </span></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span face="-webkit-standard, serif">Bees, like most insects, have three simple eyes and two compound eyes. They have the ability to see all colors except for red but can see lesser hues of red such as oranges or yellows. They also have the capability to see ultraviolet light which is not a feat for human eyes. The ability to see ultraviolet light allows the bee to see details hidden in the plants that are unseen to the human eye. Bees use their simple eyes to guide them in the right direction. Those simple eyes can use the sun, even on a cloudy day, to navigate where they are in their area, and it can also lead them back home. The compound eyes of the bee allow it to have the ability to focus on a plant even when it is windy or if there are other distractions. They never miss their mark and always do their purposed work.</span><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in;"><o:p><span style="font-family: inherit;"> </span></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span face="-webkit-standard, serif">As I kept photographing the bees, I could not help but think of the verse the Lord gave me for this year on which to meditate:</span><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in;"><o:p><span style="font-family: inherit;"> </span></o:p></p><p align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><b><span face="-webkit-standard, serif">Psalm 119:37(CSB) - Turn my eyes from looking at what is worthless; give me life in your ways.</span></b><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in;"><o:p><span style="font-family: inherit;"> </span></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span face="-webkit-standard, serif">Sometimes I struggle to keep my eyes from looking at what is worthless. I focus on what is simply seen instead of using the compound eyes of Scripture to have a clear focus of what is shown to me. That lack of focus can happen through events in daily living, the news, social media, or the comparison trap.</span><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in;"><o:p><span style="font-family: inherit;"> </span></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span face="-webkit-standard, serif">The Lord used this verse, and the bees, to deepen my understanding of what He has been showing me in the past two years. There are a lot of worthless things in this world, but if I keep my eyes focused on the guiding light of the Son, even when it appears the clouds of life have covered Him, I will always be headed in the right direction. This "ultraviolet" focus will reveal details that can only be seen when viewed through the light of Scripture no matter the distractions surrounding my circumstances. I must trust that the Lord will use His ultraviolet light to reveal the details that can be easily missed with my humanness. </span><o:p></o:p><span style="white-space: pre-wrap;">I can then have a more abundant life because I am remembering my purpose is to glorify Him and do His work instead of focusing on what will not last.</span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in;"><br /></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span face="-webkit-standard, serif">So, see like a bee. </span><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in;"><o:p><span style="font-family: inherit;"> </span></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in;"><span face="-webkit-standard, serif" style="font-family: inherit;">Focus on the life-giving Word of the Lord and the worthless things will grow dim in the light of His glory and grace.</span><span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; margin: 0in;"><span face="-webkit-standard, serif"><br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; margin: 0in;"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiyo4YaLFm4A7E8hJD9dG4CTX7cEnoTp-VnokrTpHHO9pSY8e7BjgnKnWsHixRs2VoIsml10Ql0smAe_fBVyVO2zTiUeMb1Jy7es0p7OXYiOHi8-1ME2ea5f0LP2K3P3BAWGb50us-u_ngiLikqs0gJ4I-IfEb0_MwiR6tVwPt5r9icBOPVpXE/s5472/Psalm%20119%2037%20devotion%202022.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="3648" data-original-width="5472" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiyo4YaLFm4A7E8hJD9dG4CTX7cEnoTp-VnokrTpHHO9pSY8e7BjgnKnWsHixRs2VoIsml10Ql0smAe_fBVyVO2zTiUeMb1Jy7es0p7OXYiOHi8-1ME2ea5f0LP2K3P3BAWGb50us-u_ngiLikqs0gJ4I-IfEb0_MwiR6tVwPt5r9icBOPVpXE/w400-h266/Psalm%20119%2037%20devotion%202022.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><br /><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; margin: 0in;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span face="-webkit-standard, serif">(Because bees fascinate me, if you want to read more about them, here is an article I read to understand them more: </span><span face="-webkit-standard, serif" style="color: blue;"><a href="about://"><span style="color: blue;">How Bees See and Why It Matters</span></a>)</span><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"> </span><span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; margin: 0in;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif;"> </span></p>Kelliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05667053558748094010noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19341072.post-45325779585102052352022-02-19T15:42:00.000-05:002022-02-19T15:42:08.268-05:00"Steer" Me the Right Way<p>In my last post, I was walking away from 2021 to finally breathe again... Little did I realize that one short day after I posted, I would have the privilege to breathe alright. </p><p>Breathe while running around chasing steers!</p><p>On our little farm we now have three cows, a calf, and four steers along with the horses. </p><p>That evening, a kind stranger came to the house, rang the doorbell, and shared with me that our "cows" were out. I froze. </p><p><i>"Cows out? How can that be? They are in the pasture. Wait, cows are OUT!" </i></p><p>Sure enough, it was the four steers. They had found a way to get out of the fenced area they were in and were "having the time of their lives" running up and down our main road, in the subdivision by our home <i>(which used to be cornfields and pastures of our farm when I was growing up)</i>, and near the lake. Wesley had just moved them there a week or so before to give them a new area to graze. Light was fading fast and it was when rush-hour traffic was beginning!</p><p>Wesley and his friend were already trying to wrangle them back up the road to the pasture. As Steve and I turned the corner from our road to the main road, I see Wesley chasing one of the steers, <i>who I am affectionately calling Gus</i>, up the road. Quickly, the steer made a sharp left turn and was running through the neighborhood across the street from our place and Wes made the sharp left right along with him. Gus went all around that neighborhood, taking off across people's back yards, and finally heading off toward the lake again.</p><p>I get it, Gus. Living in some fenced in area with barbed wire does not seem like the perfect way of life. There is so much freedom on the other side of that restricted boundary! Freedom to run and eat the grass that is on the other side of the fence. Freedom to roam wherever you would want!</p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgvAGgGjqvjT-5i6EFpByFuSfDlo9UC7OR8cZvf7ONLlhnnbq_O-6gWUU7Zn_AFH0h384ewxK-E6NuAUdWH5srYUUZ8e7UQn16WpXJDlJHiNMASJTbZz9tTBO2AOt0CeaHkJbH9YZfohkrOoxl07zT6DYJdR6TZgPUPeqf7Z0kTa1eclJ4Psfk=s5472" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="3648" data-original-width="5472" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgvAGgGjqvjT-5i6EFpByFuSfDlo9UC7OR8cZvf7ONLlhnnbq_O-6gWUU7Zn_AFH0h384ewxK-E6NuAUdWH5srYUUZ8e7UQn16WpXJDlJHiNMASJTbZz9tTBO2AOt0CeaHkJbH9YZfohkrOoxl07zT6DYJdR6TZgPUPeqf7Z0kTa1eclJ4Psfk=w400-h266" width="400" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div>But what Gus and his buddies failed to see was that the fence kept them safe. It kept them safe from a busy road, vehicles, other people - and even themselves. They were fed twice a day, water was always provided, and enough grass or hay to munch on throughout the day. They really had it made - even if they thought they did not.<p></p><p></p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhLlm-Rs8KXZEMGAo9uAQQ8Avuu9esyqp-vyDAMYRR0lAZfvw4P1ZtY9VKLy6iBbVk7azO_w57SA0A-fPHKrX2__EMAUEfg6g1GTUb8Z7ziOTX5GVOQkX_RVtW1DpYrYShIIleraG6UK88JZO4ANlkGz37LzwZ2AhtsNktVOqwt0XG3cWWXuNk=s5472" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="3648" data-original-width="5472" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhLlm-Rs8KXZEMGAo9uAQQ8Avuu9esyqp-vyDAMYRR0lAZfvw4P1ZtY9VKLy6iBbVk7azO_w57SA0A-fPHKrX2__EMAUEfg6g1GTUb8Z7ziOTX5GVOQkX_RVtW1DpYrYShIIleraG6UK88JZO4ANlkGz37LzwZ2AhtsNktVOqwt0XG3cWWXuNk=w400-h266" width="400" /></a></div><div><br /></div>Chasing Gus continued for quite a while. The stinker was running all around trying to find his three other cohorts who had busted him loose but did not keep him close enough. Or maybe Gus just decided to find his own path and then realized he was lost and was running in circles.<div><br /></div><div>All along, Wesley, and the rest of our family and friends, were doing what we could to find all four of those steers and bring them back the right way home. The steers thought they were fine, but we knew what could harm them out beyond the pasture.</div><div><br /></div><div>All four finally found each other right by the lake. I was the one who got to "steer sit" while Wesley and the others came up with the plan to guide them back to the pasture. All I knew to do at that moment was pray. Pray that they would not go away from me, that Wesley could come up with a solution, and that the Lord would guide them back home. </div><div><br /></div><div>It was beginning to get dark and I was having a hard time seeing them when they began to move again. Wesley was in position to get behind them and push them, but he could only see so much in the darkness. We were all running around trying to make sure they were safe. As we were running up the road again, we hear Wesley say, "They're in! They're in!" I began running with the bucket of food to guide them to the other side of the fence. Steve was running telling everyone nearby to make sure the other gate was secured. </div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEiBVS_R5egyfxqerft5RO7zeauobBHwF8gY-oJDFkBHRggdCOIACgT41Tfako90TMA-aZIV1F7-AY4L-hS6YpjtR-kXjW9efo-tIHJRufPWuziHow9Zg7ZtbeU-ABxRKEztg-ZR1iBL2z6wvg_HfXlMstVZ9ocuVGwyAT01ucpcl-YAQ3i7zlc=s5472" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="3648" data-original-width="5472" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEiBVS_R5egyfxqerft5RO7zeauobBHwF8gY-oJDFkBHRggdCOIACgT41Tfako90TMA-aZIV1F7-AY4L-hS6YpjtR-kXjW9efo-tIHJRufPWuziHow9Zg7ZtbeU-ABxRKEztg-ZR1iBL2z6wvg_HfXlMstVZ9ocuVGwyAT01ucpcl-YAQ3i7zlc=w400-h266" width="400" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div>Later as we were talking about how the steers finally came back the right way, Wesley said it was so dark he could hardly see them, but then, at the last minute, they literally turned and went straight back to the area from where they had escaped. They were so exhausted that they were glad to finally be back where they belonged. I knew right then that the Lord had guided them back home.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjBoKUgNcvSNCSz0GbB9O83cUWf7n9kV3TYPBwpH0uyw1t-yLI3f-CZHR-4CflP8IaHUnJAorugCEdGJyvoVCJrIIIuGn7bPH4oUAa-MqjTQAvabB3A_xB3cj8iQDmPceE1PtHL7qz1WvCUNrPc6dYqDBoOlhwNPHljj5_39nhf-onrt50dASY=s5472" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="3648" data-original-width="5472" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjBoKUgNcvSNCSz0GbB9O83cUWf7n9kV3TYPBwpH0uyw1t-yLI3f-CZHR-4CflP8IaHUnJAorugCEdGJyvoVCJrIIIuGn7bPH4oUAa-MqjTQAvabB3A_xB3cj8iQDmPceE1PtHL7qz1WvCUNrPc6dYqDBoOlhwNPHljj5_39nhf-onrt50dASY=w400-h266" width="400" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div>As I "steer sat" that day, I could not help but think of how Gus and the rest of those steers are just like me. </div><div><br /></div><div>I get irritated with the fenced-in area where the Lord has me and think that outside of those boundaries there is more life and freedom. I can quickly follow others, or what the latest news has just reported, and "escape" from the "pasture" where the Lord has placed me for that time. As I leave that safety, I begin to experience what happened to Gus. I run around frantically trying to find those "others" or the path I thought would be better, only to realize it is exhausting. If only I would just stay where the Lord puts me and realize He is taking care of me right there, I would not need to run. I actually have a lot of freedom in that pasture because it was where He placed me and He is always watching over me.</div><div><br /></div><div>Before the steers had gotten out, the Lord had given me the word "devotion" upon which to meditate this year. Psalm 119 has been my go-to passage of Scripture and the verse that really spoke to me for this year is Psalm 119:37. I put it on our mantle above the fireplace where we all could see it every day: </div><div><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><b><span style="color: #38761d;">Psalm 119:37 CSB</span></b></div><div style="text-align: center;"><b><span style="color: #38761d;">"Turn my eyes from looking at what is worthless; give me life in your ways."</span></b></div><div><br /></div><div>How fitting that, on one of the last days of 2021, the Lord had me running to chase those steers to teach me this concept in a real-life way. Every day I drive by that pasture and it takes me back to that experience. Every day the Lord's truth continues to sink in more deeply. </div><div><br /></div><div>If I am not looking at the ways of the Lord, I am chasing worthless things. Those worthless things take away the freedom and safety that can only be found in the Lord. I must trust that the "pasture" where He has me for that time is the best place I can be. Running from it does not give me rest. It is exhausting. Only when I devote myself to spending time in His Word and staying close to His ways can I fully have life and be at peace where He has placed me. And if I do get out and begin looking at worthless things... He is chasing after me...encouraging me to come back to Him. When I call out to Him, He always finds me and "steers" me safely home.</div><div><br /></div><div>How about you? Are you needing to be "steered" in the right way? Get lost in the Lord and His Word - not in this world. Stay content in the pasture where He has you and find life in HIS ways. </div>Kelliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05667053558748094010noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19341072.post-26037069521261667582021-12-29T17:37:00.000-05:002021-12-29T17:37:15.992-05:00Walking Away to Breathe<p> I am walking away from this year. I am walking away with a much different perspective than a year ago. </p><p>The picture below gives a picture of what this year has felt like in my walk. I have felt like I was on a beach with sand ebbing and flowing between my feet. I have felt the shells and rocks under my feet and was unstable as I tried to walk over them. My feet stumbled along the way on many occasions and at many points I felt that I would drown. I FELT all of those things. However, I just kept walking.</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgQHo7N41zcrNF0tNv79fhdSHPqeMd8gNcYjUfIE7wkqZ1UpJLUpKx6IcVG2WIt6bnsGGhEDBl8eAUIT40ZwL7cgVf87529WxFmX0r1gubWyJzfHPsa1SKCvkAX4XY9Vrk1fGFLTvHrW2vDctU-gYJi6w65LtK2KlYeGG8spsk08i5SHusSi7w=s620" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="620" data-original-width="500" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgQHo7N41zcrNF0tNv79fhdSHPqeMd8gNcYjUfIE7wkqZ1UpJLUpKx6IcVG2WIt6bnsGGhEDBl8eAUIT40ZwL7cgVf87529WxFmX0r1gubWyJzfHPsa1SKCvkAX4XY9Vrk1fGFLTvHrW2vDctU-gYJi6w65LtK2KlYeGG8spsk08i5SHusSi7w=w323-h400" width="323" /></a></div><p>I have mentioned this in my writing before, but when Daddy became ready for hospice, a dear friend asked me what I was thinking, to which I replied, "I just want to keep walking away and never stop."</p><p>I know that walking is good for you. I know that walking produces endurance and strength. I know that walking allows the heart to get stronger.</p><p>I know....</p><p>....but even though I know how good walking can be, walking away from it all just has not seemed to happen. The walking has been laborious and I have found myself just trying to take the next step. </p><p>As I am looking back on this year - and even just the last two years - I have found I have inwardly been wanting to walk away to breathe. <b><i>I know I am not alone.</i></b></p><p><b><i>I have felt as if I have been holding my breath which does not help with the walking.</i></b></p><p>The Lord gave me "steadfast/faithful" as my word of meditation for this year. As I am walking away from another year of breath-holding, I truly say if it were not for the Lord's steadfast and faithful love, I would not have made it. I did not have the brain energy to do a lot of deep study in God's Word this year. I literally clung to Him with all I had.</p><p>He has kept me walking when I wanted to stop. </p><p>He has kept me together when I felt like I was breaking and falling bit-by-bit on the road I was traveling.</p><p>He has understood my weakness and carried me when I had no energy to keep walking.</p><p>He has kept my mind focused on Him even when there were trip-hazards in my journey. </p><p>He has truly been the rock-solid and faithful pathway as I have walked through this year of uncertainty, loss, and overwhelming stress. </p><p>Because He is steadfast and faithful, HE KNOWS and while I was out walking recently, the Lord reminded me of His faithfulness in a song. Because He is faithful, I can KNOW He is always there.</p><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(32, 33, 36);"><span style="color: #2b00fe; font-family: inherit;"><i>I KNOW</i></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(32, 33, 36);"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: #2b00fe;">by</span><span style="color: #202124;"> </span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: white; caret-color: rgb(112, 117, 122); color: #70757a; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Hank Bentley / Michael David Weaver / Benji Cowart</span></span><span face=""Google Sans Text", arial, sans-serif" style="background-color: white; caret-color: rgb(112, 117, 122); color: #70757a; font-size: 12px; text-align: left;"> </span></div><p style="text-align: center;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(32, 33, 36);"><span style="color: #2b00fe; font-family: inherit;">You don't answer all my questions</span></span></p><div class="ujudUb" jsname="U8S5sf" style="caret-color: rgb(32, 33, 36); margin-bottom: 12px;"><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: #2b00fe;">But You hear me when I speak</span></span></div><span style="color: #2b00fe; font-family: inherit;"><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">You don't keep my heart from breakin'</span></div><span jsname="YS01Ge"><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">But when it does, You weep with me</span></div></span></span></div><div class="ujudUb" jsname="U8S5sf" style="caret-color: rgb(32, 33, 36); margin-bottom: 12px;"><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: #2b00fe;">You're so close that I can feel You</span></span></div><span style="color: #2b00fe; font-family: inherit;"><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">When I've lost the words to pray</span></div><span jsname="YS01Ge"><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">And though my eyes have never seen You</span></div></span><span jsname="YS01Ge"><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">I've seen enough to say</span></div></span></span></div><div class="ujudUb" jsname="U8S5sf" style="caret-color: rgb(32, 33, 36); margin-bottom: 12px;"><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: #2b00fe;">I know that You are good</span></span></div><span style="color: #2b00fe; font-family: inherit;"><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">I know that You are kind</span></div><span jsname="YS01Ge"><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">I know that You are so much more</span></div></span><span jsname="YS01Ge"><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Than what I leave behind</span></div></span><span jsname="YS01Ge"><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">I know that I am loved</span></div></span><span jsname="YS01Ge"><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">I know that I am safe</span></div></span><span jsname="YS01Ge"><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">'Cause even in the fire, to live is Christ, to die is gain</span></div></span><span jsname="YS01Ge"><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">I know that You are good</span></div></span></span></div><div class="ujudUb" jsname="U8S5sf" style="caret-color: rgb(32, 33, 36); margin-bottom: 12px;"><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: #2b00fe;">I don't understand the sorrow</span></span></div><span style="color: #2b00fe; font-family: inherit;"><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">But You're calm within the storm</span></div><span jsname="YS01Ge"><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Sometimes this weight is overwhelming</span></div></span><span jsname="YS01Ge"><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">But I don't carry it alone</span></div></span></span></div><div class="ujudUb" jsname="U8S5sf" style="caret-color: rgb(32, 33, 36); margin-bottom: 12px;"><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: #2b00fe;">You're still close when I can't feel You</span></span></div><span style="color: #2b00fe; font-family: inherit;"><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">I don't have to be afraid</span></div><span jsname="YS01Ge"><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">And though my eyes have never seen You</span></div></span><span jsname="YS01Ge"><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">I've seen enough to say</span></div></span></span></div><div class="ujudUb" jsname="U8S5sf" style="caret-color: rgb(32, 33, 36); margin-bottom: 12px;"><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: #2b00fe;">I know that You are good</span></span></div><span style="color: #2b00fe; font-family: inherit;"><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">I know that You are kind</span></div><span jsname="YS01Ge"><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">I know that You are so much more</span></div></span><span jsname="YS01Ge"><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Than what I leave behind</span></div></span><span jsname="YS01Ge"><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">I know that I am loved</span></div></span><span jsname="YS01Ge"><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">I know that I am safe</span></div></span><span jsname="YS01Ge"><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">'Cause even in the fire, to live is Christ, to die is gain</span></div></span><span jsname="YS01Ge"><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">I know that You are good</span></div></span></span></div><div class="ujudUb" jsname="U8S5sf" style="caret-color: rgb(32, 33, 36); margin-bottom: 12px;"><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: #2b00fe;">You are good</span></span></div><span style="color: #2b00fe; font-family: inherit;"><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">I know</span></div></span></div><div class="ujudUb" jsname="U8S5sf" style="caret-color: rgb(32, 33, 36); margin-bottom: 12px;"><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: #2b00fe;">On my darkest day</span></span></div><span style="color: #2b00fe; font-family: inherit;"><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">From my deepest pain</span></div><span jsname="YS01Ge"><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Through it all, my heart, will choose to sing Your praise</span></div></span></span></div><div class="ujudUb" jsname="U8S5sf" style="caret-color: rgb(32, 33, 36); margin-bottom: 12px;"><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: #2b00fe;">On my darkest day</span></span></div><span style="color: #2b00fe; font-family: inherit;"><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">From my deepest pain</span></div><span jsname="YS01Ge"><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Through it all, my heart, will choose to sing Your praise</span></div></span></span></div><div class="ujudUb" jsname="U8S5sf" style="caret-color: rgb(32, 33, 36); margin-bottom: 12px;"><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: #2b00fe;">On my darkest day</span></span></div><span style="color: #2b00fe; font-family: inherit;"><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">In my deepest pain</span></div><span jsname="YS01Ge"><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Through it all, my heart, will choose to sing Your praise</span></div></span></span></div><div class="ujudUb" jsname="U8S5sf" style="caret-color: rgb(32, 33, 36); margin-bottom: 12px;"><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: #2b00fe;">I know that You are good</span></span></div><span style="color: #2b00fe; font-family: inherit;"><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">I know that You are kind</span></div><span jsname="YS01Ge"><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">I know that You are so much more</span></div></span><span jsname="YS01Ge"><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Than what I leave behind</span></div></span><span jsname="YS01Ge"><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">I know that I am loved</span></div></span><span jsname="YS01Ge"><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">I know that I am safe</span></div></span><span jsname="YS01Ge"><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">'Cause even in the fire, to live is Christ, to die is gain</span></div></span><span jsname="YS01Ge"><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">I know that You are good</span></div></span></span></div><div class="ujudUb WRZytc" jsname="U8S5sf" style="caret-color: rgb(32, 33, 36); margin-bottom: 0px;"><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: #2b00fe;">I know that You are good</span></span></div><span style="color: #2b00fe; font-family: inherit;"><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">I know</span></div></span></div><div class="ujudUb WRZytc" jsname="U8S5sf" style="caret-color: rgb(32, 33, 36); color: #202124; margin-bottom: 0px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span jsname="YS01Ge"><br /></span></span></div><div class="ujudUb WRZytc" jsname="U8S5sf" style="caret-color: rgb(32, 33, 36); color: #202124; margin-bottom: 0px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span jsname="YS01Ge"><br /></span></span></div><div class="ujudUb WRZytc" jsname="U8S5sf" style="margin-bottom: 0px;"><br /></div><div class="ujudUb WRZytc" jsname="U8S5sf" style="margin-bottom: 0px;"><span><span jsname="YS01Ge"><span style="color: #202124;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">I will speak truth here - the year unfolding in front of me has resurrected some fear and wondering if I am going to </span>stumble<span style="font-family: inherit;"> and fall through another</span></span><span style="color: #202124; font-family: inherit;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(32, 33, 36);">. BUT...</span></span></span></span></div><div class="ujudUb WRZytc" jsname="U8S5sf" style="margin-bottom: 0px;"><span><span jsname="YS01Ge"><span style="color: #202124; font-family: inherit;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(32, 33, 36);"><br /></span></span></span></span></div><div class="ujudUb WRZytc" jsname="U8S5sf" style="margin-bottom: 0px;"><div class="ujudUb WRZytc" jsname="U8S5sf" style="margin-bottom: 0px;"><span jsname="YS01Ge"><span style="color: #202124; font-family: inherit;">The Lord has been so good and faithful </span></span><span style="color: #202124;">throughout my walking through this year that I know He will do so in the next. I know that He is with me and is GOOD. </span></div><div class="ujudUb WRZytc" jsname="U8S5sf" style="margin-bottom: 0px;"><span style="color: #202124;"><br /></span></div><div class="ujudUb WRZytc" jsname="U8S5sf" style="margin-bottom: 0px;"><span style="color: #202124;">Because He has been so faithful and good, my heart's cry for next year is <b><u>devotion</u></b> to Him. He has shown me from Psalm 119 that this is the passage where I will gain much wisdom from Him in the coming year. </span></div><div class="ujudUb WRZytc" jsname="U8S5sf" style="margin-bottom: 0px;"><span style="color: #202124;"><br /></span></div><div class="ujudUb WRZytc" jsname="U8S5sf" style="margin-bottom: 0px;"><span style="color: #202124;">It has already <span style="caret-color: rgb(32, 33, 36);">brought me comfort as I have been walking through it in the last bit of time. I am excited for how the Lord will allow me to keep walking. And I will not necessarily be walking AWAY from stress and life, but walking TOWARD more intimacy with Him. Pursuing Him and walking alongside of Him to learn more from Him than just how to take the next step. Walking with the ability to inhale and exhale because I am tired of holding my breath. </span></span></div><div class="ujudUb WRZytc" jsname="U8S5sf" style="margin-bottom: 0px;"><span style="color: #202124;"><br /></span></div><div class="ujudUb WRZytc" jsname="U8S5sf" style="margin-bottom: 0px;"><span style="color: #202124;">As I bid farewell to another year, I am choosing to walk away from 2021 and BREATHE.</span></div><div class="ujudUb WRZytc" jsname="U8S5sf" style="margin-bottom: 0px;"><span style="color: #202124;"><br /></span></div><div class="ujudUb WRZytc" jsname="U8S5sf" style="margin-bottom: 0px; text-align: center;"><span style="color: #202124;"><b>Psalm 119:45 </b></span></div><div class="ujudUb WRZytc" jsname="U8S5sf" style="margin-bottom: 0px; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><b>I will walk freely in an open place</b></span></div><span class="text Ps-119-45" style="position: relative;"><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><b>because I study your precepts.</b></span></div></span></div>Kelliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05667053558748094010noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19341072.post-46529968662386435322021-09-13T07:56:00.000-04:002021-09-13T07:56:11.056-04:00Broken to Be Strengthened<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirb5p-8CMyba_eUa3Zd-_xvkSn23uzJ-YJdJyH9tKY5ae3Uyit5o8resgg3BlbwLd-F4MlhJx_Su55IFgBzUSE7I8LQmc0g2LeOSDf2a_z3BhPDNRADB8aDhxuHL3hOSEXVjZf8Q/s510/B272B0FD-11A2-4EE6-A266-3B5E27111CCC_4_5005_c.jpeg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="340" data-original-width="510" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirb5p-8CMyba_eUa3Zd-_xvkSn23uzJ-YJdJyH9tKY5ae3Uyit5o8resgg3BlbwLd-F4MlhJx_Su55IFgBzUSE7I8LQmc0g2LeOSDf2a_z3BhPDNRADB8aDhxuHL3hOSEXVjZf8Q/s320/B272B0FD-11A2-4EE6-A266-3B5E27111CCC_4_5005_c.jpeg" width="320" /></a></div><p>It would be fair to say that no person likes being broken. Brokenness causes one to feel weak and vulnerable. It can make one feel out of control.</p><p>For the last couple of years, I have felt that brokenness has become as much a part of life as breathing. I have watched others suffer through broken dreams, health, or life in general. Our world has felt broken throughout the pandemic and the lack of community we have had to face. Personally, I have experienced a brokenness that I never fully grasped until I held my Daddy's hand as he slipped from this world, leaving his own broken body to become whole again in the hands of His Savior. I know I am not alone in that feeling...so many people I know have walked this same path in the last eighteen months.</p><p>For a time after the last school year and my Daddy's home going, I could only see the brokenness of my heart. I kept searching for Scripture to help me through it. I found some beautiful passages that stood out to me during that time:</p><p><span style="color: #76a5af;">Psalm 34:18 - <span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white;">The </span><span class="small-caps" style="font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-caps: small-caps; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal;">Lord</span><span style="background-color: white;"> is near to the </span>brokenhearted<span style="background-color: white;"> and saves the crushed in spirit.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="color: #76a5af; font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white;">Psalm 147:3 - </span><span style="background-color: white;">He heals the </span>brokenhearted<span style="background-color: white;"> and binds up their wounds.</span></span></p><p><span style="color: #76a5af; font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white;">Isaiah 61:1 -</span><span style="background-color: white;">The Spirit of the Lord </span><span class="small-caps" style="font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-caps: small-caps; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal;">God</span><span style="background-color: white;"> is upon me, because the </span><span class="small-caps" style="font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-caps: small-caps; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal;">Lord</span><span style="background-color: white;"> has anointed me to bring good news to the poor; he has sent me to bind up the </span>brokenhearted<span style="background-color: white;">, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to those who are bound;</span></span></p><p><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">While they were so beautiful, and ones to which I clung, what was interesting to me is that </span>these Scriptures were the only ones I found<span style="font-family: inherit;"> that </span><i style="font-family: inherit;">specifically</i><span style="font-family: inherit;"> spoke about the brokenhearted. At that point, I was so consumed in my broken heart that I was frustrated with the Lord for not having more verses referring to "brokenhearted" in Scripture. </span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white;">It was then that t</span><span style="background-color: white;">he Lord used a good friend to begin showing me why. </span></span></p><p><span style="background-color: white;">A month to the day after my Daddy's passing was a hard one. </span><span style="background-color: white;">School was now over and I had more time on my hands. The</span><span style="background-color: white;"> finality of his home-going was sinking in and I was crumbling as I had more time to be consumed with my broken heart. I wanted to stay in the broken pieces that had become my life. I was supposed to visit my friend that day but did not want to go. I had to make myself get in the vehicle and go see her. The Lord knew how much I needed her on that specific day and it still amazes me of His timing. This time to spend with her had been scheduled for a long while.</span></p><p><span style="background-color: white;">As I sat with her, falling apart on the inside and showing my brokenness on the outside, she so gently reminded me that I was trying to be strong on my own. Of course I was broken! I had just walked through a tough school year and the passing of my Daddy. But I needed to stop looking at the brokenness and see the strength of the Lord that had gotten me through it all. She reminded me I needed to rest physically and also REST in the Lord. </span></p><p><span style="background-color: white;"></span></p><p><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMi1R9UWl8CneT1NFvwdaQO0f1eCvLKrPHDilyC_X-fzij_X42Zj2Vv_MmaKqhdnNZugcCGcLlS9Pt3u-0OQHNmdfqMrEPGSfteU2rPkeRCKARYK37CXX8fHDA11wW2RZlzOyoEg/s2048/Daddyshands2010+01.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1365" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMi1R9UWl8CneT1NFvwdaQO0f1eCvLKrPHDilyC_X-fzij_X42Zj2Vv_MmaKqhdnNZugcCGcLlS9Pt3u-0OQHNmdfqMrEPGSfteU2rPkeRCKARYK37CXX8fHDA11wW2RZlzOyoEg/s320/Daddyshands2010+01.jpg" width="213" /></a></p>This picture was one I had taken for a devotion years ago. I used my Daddy's hands because I always loved his hands and how strong they were. They were a common connection with anyone who met him because his hands could grip you so tightly you KNEW you had shaken his hand! He had been a dairy farmer for over 40 years so his hands were tough. He held that strength, even through his years of sickness and in hospice, until a day or so before he passed away. I held his hand as long as I was able throughout his last days. I clung to his strength. <i><b>I was not quite sure what to do with myself when the strength left his hands and he was gone. </b></i><p></p><p><span style="background-color: white;">When looking at this picture after Daddy's home-going, all I could see were the broken pieces in his hands. </span><span style="background-color: white;">After my friend so gently reminded me it was not for me to be strong right now in my brokenness, but to let the Lord be my strength, I began to view this picture again for what I had originally desired to convey over a decade ago. </span><span style="background-color: white;">I had missed out on the most important part - my Daddy's loving hands were holding the brokenness! Those pieces are resting in his hands.</span></p><p><span style="background-color: white;">The Lord used my earthly Daddy's hands to remind me of my Heavenly Abba Father's hands. The Lord was holding me in all my brokenness. HE would be my strength when I was falling apart. HE would be the One to hold me and allow my broken heart to rest in <b><u>His</u></b> strength and not my own. </span></p><p><span style="background-color: white;">It was then that the Lord gently reminded me how many times the word "strength"is found in Scripture that deals with HIS strength and not human strength. I had been blinded to it because of life's circumstances. The Lord showed me deeper that I was looking at my brokenness from the wrong point of view - my own. I was focused on the broken pieces instead of on <b><i>the hands </i></b>underneath the brokenness that were holding me and giving me strength to keep going.</span></p><p><span id="docs-internal-guid-32f4fe44-7fff-d3dd-60f3-352a53bca88c"><span style="font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">What I have continued to learn through this is that the Lord views brokenness differently. He sees that broken is actually more beautiful and useful than in its original state because it is depending on something else to hold it in place. While the breaking is overwhelming and debilitating at times, the end result is a deeper understanding that He holds us and we must be strengthened by HIM alone. The Lord knows what it feels like to be broken - He was broken for you and me on the cross: </span></span></span></p><p><i style="color: red; font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white;">I Corinthians 11:24 - And when he had given thanks, he brake it, and said, Take, eat: </span>this<span style="background-color: white;"> is my body, which is <b>broken for you</b>: </span>this<span style="background-color: white;"> </span>do<span style="background-color: white;"> </span>in<span style="background-color: white;"> </span>remembrance<span style="background-color: white;"> </span>of<span style="background-color: white;"> </span>me<span style="background-color: white;">.</span></i></p><p><span style="background-color: white;">I needed to remember He was broken for me so I can trust that He knows how to hold me.</span></p><p><span style="background-color: white;">After I began seeing the Lord's hands underneath my brokenness, the Lord began repeating this verse to my heart over the summer:</span><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white;"> </span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: inherit;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhwEipV-O4ADr9OA_Aetf2-vqzGtQXZUWhS2Qi5olPCd0CZv7lm_fFJGzZSZgzvPWTWzxwc-7Mz1vZ64p0jwPdDvWuxLUE8Wq8dgFfFnOL4eETuwYMEbr6UO4Y_f4PZXixEKPv43A/s1800/Psalm73+26+with++Daddys+hands.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1800" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhwEipV-O4ADr9OA_Aetf2-vqzGtQXZUWhS2Qi5olPCd0CZv7lm_fFJGzZSZgzvPWTWzxwc-7Mz1vZ64p0jwPdDvWuxLUE8Wq8dgFfFnOL4eETuwYMEbr6UO4Y_f4PZXixEKPv43A/w640-h426/Psalm73+26+with++Daddys+hands.jpg" width="640" /></a></span></div><p></p><p><span style="font-family: inherit;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white; text-align: left;">The picture of Daddy's hands I took over a decade ago are able to be used again to show the Lord's truth. The hands of the Lord that are holding me will <b><i>never</i></b> lose their strength. I can always rest in them no matter how much my flesh or heart fail me because HE is my strength. </span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white; text-align: left;"><br /></span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"><span id="docs-internal-guid-98855e84-7fff-24b8-8c21-416e278ad09b" style="text-align: start;"><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Friend, how are you feeling right now? Are you only seeing the broken pieces? Are you struggling to find rest because the brokenness is overwhelming? Keep your eyes on the </span><span style="background-color: white; font-style: italic; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-weight: 700; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">hands underneath</span><span style="background-color: white; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> your brokenness. They are what give you strength when your flesh and heart fail. They are forever. </span></span></p><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="background-color: white; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Rest in His strength.</span></span></p></span><br class="Apple-interchange-newline" style="text-align: start;" /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white; text-align: left;">Here is a song the Lord had me play on repeat over the summer. There <u>is</u> a bright side to being broken.</span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><iframe allow="accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/QfcyIwwnT-Y" title="YouTube video player" width="560"></iframe></div>
Kelliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05667053558748094010noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19341072.post-5566928597909251862021-08-22T21:07:00.001-04:002021-08-22T21:07:14.763-04:00A Lesson in Shoes<p>I had gotten some new tennis shoes last fall. When I first got the shoes and exercise-walked in them I found that blisters appeared. However, because they were new shoes at that time I just figured that I was breaking them in and they would be fine in time. Well, the walking for exercise went by the wayside between rain, stress, and emotionally experiencing Daddy's home going. I knew when summer started they should have been "broken in" with regular use to help me get back into my exercise routine this summer. </p><p><img height="228" src="http://www.clker.com/cliparts/P/5/5/O/R/g/women-s-gym-shoes-hi.png" style="-webkit-user-select: none; display: block; margin: auto;" width="340" /></p><p>After my Daddy's death and the end of a stressful school year, I began walking for exercise again. I enjoyed walking four miles at a time - it was cathartic. I honestly wanted to just keep walking and never stop - I wanted to walk away from the pain and stress of the past year and begin to feel alive again. After I had walked those first four miles, I developed blisters on my feet! I thought my shoes had been worn enough to have gone through the breaking-in period and not be giving me blisters. I decided I was trying to walk too fast too soon and should just slow down and pace myself.</p><p>The next time I walked, I bandaged the blisters, used a balm on my feet to protect from more blisters, and tied my shoes up tighter to ensure they were not slipping. Unfortunately, I came home with even more blisters - and even irritated the blisters that I thought I had protected. It became so awful that I could not go for my walks and even struggled to stand in any kind of shoe! I felt like my time of healing came to an abrupt stop.</p><p>It was suggested to me that I get my shoes checked out because it appeared that the shoes were causing the problem and not how I was walking in them. I had bought these same types of shoes for so long that I did not know how they could be wrong for me, but I was willing to check it out. The guy that helped me at the shoe store showed me that the shoes I had were the correct type of shoe for how my feet are formed and how I walk. However, my shoes may not have been in the shape I assumed when I bought them. To be economical, I bought the shoes online and they were probably the ones released from a few years ago. He told me that shoes over a year old can be stored in warehouses that are not heat/cold controlled. The varying temperatures can actually break down the shoe and what you think you are buying is actually not what you thought! </p><p>After purchasing new shoes - and a new brand - I began my walking again and my feet felt secure. My blisters were still there but protected. I finally was able to get back out and walk with strength and purpose. I still have the scars of those blisters at the time of this writing, but they are healing and revealing healthy skin.</p><p>As I began walking again, and was able to begin healing emotionally, mentally, physically, and spiritually, the Lord reminded me of this passage of Scripture: <b>Ephesians 6:10-17</b></p><p style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #45818e; font-family: inherit;"><span class="text Eph-6-10">Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his might.</span><span class="text Eph-6-11" id="en-ESV-29332"><span class="versenum" style="display: inline; font-weight: 700; line-height: normal; position: relative; top: auto; vertical-align: text-top;"> </span></span></span></p><p style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #45818e; font-family: inherit;"><span class="text Eph-6-11">Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to <b>stand</b> against the schemes of the devil.</span><span style="background-color: white;"> </span></span></p><p style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #45818e;"><span class="text Eph-6-12" id="en-ESV-29333" style="font-family: inherit;">For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places.</span><span class="text Eph-6-12" style="font-family: inherit;"><b> </b></span></span></p><p style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #45818e;"><span class="text Eph-6-13" id="en-ESV-29334" style="font-family: inherit;">Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to <b>stand</b> firm.</span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit;"> </span></span></p><p style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #45818e;"><span class="text Eph-6-14" style="font-family: inherit;"><b>Stand</b> therefore, having fastened on the belt of truth, and having put on the breastplate of righteousness,</span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit;"> </span><span class="text Eph-6-15" id="en-ESV-29336" style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="versenum" style="display: inline; font-weight: 700; line-height: normal; position: relative; top: auto; vertical-align: text-top;"> </span></span></span></p><p style="text-align: center;"><b><span style="color: #45818e;"><span class="text Eph-6-15" style="font-family: inherit;">and, as shoes for your feet, having put on the readiness given by the gospel of peace.</span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit;"> </span></span></b></p><p style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #45818e;"><span class="text Eph-6-16" id="en-ESV-29337" style="font-family: inherit;">In all circumstances take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming darts of the evil one;</span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit;"> </span></span></p><p style="text-align: center;"><span class="text Eph-6-17" id="en-ESV-29338" style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: #45818e;">and take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God,</span></span></p><p><span class="text Eph-6-17" style="font-family: inherit;">If your feet are not well, it causes the whole body to suffer. </span><span style="font-family: inherit;">I struggled to stand on my feet when my blisters were inflamed - and it did not matter whether I was barefoot or wearing different shoes - my whole body felt them. Nothing I did on my own helped keep away the blisters - I had on the wrong shoes! </span>This above portion of Scripture is recognizable for many believers. I have listened to many pastors preach on each one of these pieces of armor. As I dealt with my shoe problems this summer, I began to more deeply understand the shoes of our spiritual armor needing to be ones of PEACE. </p><p>In the passage above, the Apostle Paul used the example of the Roman soldier to help convey the importance of putting on our Armor of God for the spiritual battles we face. The Lord has the armor ready for us, but <i>we must choose to put each one on to protect us as we do battle every day</i>. We definitely have to have on our "Belt of Truth" and "Breastplate of Righteousness" as they are foundational to our ability to fight spiritual battles successfully. However, I have found that the shoes do not always get the same discussions as those top two.</p><p>The word "stand" is used repeatedly in Ephesians 6:10-17. Obviously, a soldier would need to stand strong in the face of the battle - and we have to take stands in our spiritual battles. How do we stand well without the right shoes? How do we walk forward into battle with irritating blisters that have come from those wrong shoes? </p><p>This caused me to ponder.</p><p>Am I wearing shoes in my spiritual battles that are the right fit but might be old models of the past?</p><p>Have the shoes been ones of things I learned a few years ago from God's Word? Had those gone through the hot and cold of trials in life and lost their stability so that as I began to walk my feet were not as secure as I once thought? </p><p>Am I getting spiritual blisters on my feet because of those ill-fitting shoes? </p><p>Where can I find shoes of PEACE?</p><p>I cannot depend on what was the "spiritual model" from years ago. Past spiritual models may cause friction of pride, depression, anger, or disobedience and create blisters that will inhibit me from standing and walking well in my spiritual battle. No matter what I may use to help heal the blisters on my own will fail if the shoes are the problem! </p><p>The shoes of peace can only be found by staying close to God's Word and allowing Him to reveal the best fit for me at that time in my life. Only He can heal the blisters from the past and help me to stand firm while walking with Him.</p><p>What shoes are you wearing?</p>Kelliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05667053558748094010noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19341072.post-24146493451665373402021-08-04T13:51:00.000-04:002021-08-04T13:51:16.116-04:00Beauty in the Chaos<p>My husband has the "green thumb" at our house. He always does an amazing job in the yard and I appreciate so much the beauty that I see as we walk up to our front door or drive up the driveway.</p><p>This year the flower planting took on a different twist. With our very stressful season of life he decided it would be easier to plant wildflower seeds in the flower beds by our front porch. I was excited to see what would happen with them and we began watching them grow. </p><p>I trusted that what my husband had sown into the ground was really what he said. The problem we found is that they appear as just a lot of green plants at first and they all look the same! When they were first growing, I could not always recognize the wildflowers from the weeds, but my husband could recognize most of the weeds and was able to separate them out from the actual wildflowers. Even that became challenging as they got bigger! </p><p>I would look out the front windows or sit on the porch looking at what was growing taller and taller. All that it showed was more mess than beauty. I began to wonder if anything was really going to come from this growing chaos. However, I had to remember that they are called "WILDflowers" for a reason! Let's just say the walk to our front door this summer has not been so neat and orderly!</p><p><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8LJubgU-uKJQDvRYPgt9Z6IbtbnDvBnbMGohuRTCc-6lYMoyrDchQzlNfWuA18EB-i2g16mFk4c1DLFXXWUkL9I6Pgfawwv3MM6kcKco945nFqakcJujuaPVxszMnlw2nBMJ8_Q/s2048/IMG_0163.JPG" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhnon06Jzgvfl0BrXnG9XTo9MA3WQsDMKa8_kFR8c11APH3YeEF-ZRqJ7tU0S4idpH815qATmrx7S4osI5VQ41AiJbLUpQdGY7FW5euv2oXwM0z9uBIXhRwE5oDcK811bCm9lP04A/s2048/IMG_0164.JPG" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em; text-align: left;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1365" data-original-width="2048" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhnon06Jzgvfl0BrXnG9XTo9MA3WQsDMKa8_kFR8c11APH3YeEF-ZRqJ7tU0S4idpH815qATmrx7S4osI5VQ41AiJbLUpQdGY7FW5euv2oXwM0z9uBIXhRwE5oDcK811bCm9lP04A/w400-h266/IMG_0164.JPG" width="400" /></a>Then, one day, a bloom appeared. It was only one. I was sitting at the dining room table which is right by the front porch and it captured my attention. The one bloom was going to be white and I decided to watch it for the next couple of days to enjoy the beauty unfold. It became like a daily present - to view the beauty that was happening in the midst of the chaos. I knew I needed to capture this beauty because I was not sure how many I would actually get to see! I was in awe while looking through my camera lens at what was being shown in the messy chaos. </p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjsauzQWp6GBvn2JOh1Fgr9BPp8NyB6qzPNduyVFdWmEiD6x9Z9mHhC6x1r7w7nP3qM4uXl_di6DaDWjuft20qhdngjlHEcYzW3hwARplr8d3qHSNmKhyO8b0hWHFPFvIyTyeThhA/s2048/Summer+2021+072.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1365" data-original-width="2048" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjsauzQWp6GBvn2JOh1Fgr9BPp8NyB6qzPNduyVFdWmEiD6x9Z9mHhC6x1r7w7nP3qM4uXl_di6DaDWjuft20qhdngjlHEcYzW3hwARplr8d3qHSNmKhyO8b0hWHFPFvIyTyeThhA/w400-h266/Summer+2021+072.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div></div>At first I thought the only flowers would be the white ones and was glad I was at least seeing some version of beauty, but each day a colorful variation of the original white flower began to open. During the growing times I looked at the growth of the original flowers and saw different flowers blooming underneath. I had to move back some of the taller stems and see them but they were there bursting forth with color and detail! Others really were hidden and I had to search for them. They were being overshadowed by the taller "mess" of the now-blooming wildflower. I even found out that some of the weeds intermingled through the wildness began to bloom and I began to appreciate their beauty as well. <p></p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiyAAiXyDcE5IdSr_Gkhbu4ndMytzCdbHkGgzTGU1ZC6ifb_rFTocXmqTOZpZcS3dZSZqqFtFkaGWfvfs3FNVkg1z2mdOBnwkGOnDPlYXZEubgLJz0DYgC904MYtjw3iEstJBEpqg/s2048/Summer+2021+230.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1365" data-original-width="2048" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiyAAiXyDcE5IdSr_Gkhbu4ndMytzCdbHkGgzTGU1ZC6ifb_rFTocXmqTOZpZcS3dZSZqqFtFkaGWfvfs3FNVkg1z2mdOBnwkGOnDPlYXZEubgLJz0DYgC904MYtjw3iEstJBEpqg/s320/Summer+2021+230.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br /></div>I decided to keep my camera close so that I could go out in the mornings and capture the newest surprises. What I thought was going to just be chaos ended up being one of the highlights of my days. There really was beauty in the chaos. I just had to look for it.<p></p><p><b><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZnMmCYUtlZU34EQoB7nc0A7kLuLAtI8Abn12k152BHsTL40wtKjvgV-RKwEunO5vDYZmBt_AHfqsii1ZpGd4ol_-E9u90yGoi8H1Funa-2GuQ-aHPt7jmlGjZX8hmk8DfXZi5kQ/s2048/Summer+2021+161.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1365" data-original-width="2048" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZnMmCYUtlZU34EQoB7nc0A7kLuLAtI8Abn12k152BHsTL40wtKjvgV-RKwEunO5vDYZmBt_AHfqsii1ZpGd4ol_-E9u90yGoi8H1Funa-2GuQ-aHPt7jmlGjZX8hmk8DfXZi5kQ/s320/Summer+2021+161.jpg" width="320" /></a></b>Through these wildflowers, the Lord has been showing me more of Himself. I have felt like my world has been in chaos for so long. I sometimes wonder if it will ever go back to being "orderly" again. </p><p>Life can feel like how these wildflowers grow. Instead of life being "planted" decently and in order, the seeds of life are scattered in the ground and it becomes a messy time of growth. There are unwanted "weeds" of circumstances that come up in the middle of it all and it can be hard to know the difference between what has been planted and what is rising out of the soil wanting to choke out all that is rooted and growing. Chaos ensues and it can feel as if beauty will never come from any of it! </p><p>Life certainly is wild and chaotic. It is important that we learn to trust where the Lord has planted us to see the beauty He has for us.</p><p></p><p><i><b></b></i></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><i></i></div><i><b><div><i style="font-weight: normal;"><b>Sometimes the beauty is easy to see. </b></i></div><div><br /></div>Sometimes it takes searching</b></i> <b><i>to find the beauty because it can be overshadowed with the chaos. </i></b><p></p><p><i><b>And sometimes beauty can even come from the weeds....just like this one I captured below.<br /></b></i></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-9kA2WQ7UeEWsN-Bh-bOKKkrHGj4N-O9qsyxhi3osmw1ZV-mSovJijxBe_v9JVF8aijBMBOmLzCx_SBWSivi21NMPgilRrR63fCJom7Ua9WOFYpx97BengxWjGXFmMV_C9PwyfA/s2048/Summer+2021+255.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1365" data-original-width="2048" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-9kA2WQ7UeEWsN-Bh-bOKKkrHGj4N-O9qsyxhi3osmw1ZV-mSovJijxBe_v9JVF8aijBMBOmLzCx_SBWSivi21NMPgilRrR63fCJom7Ua9WOFYpx97BengxWjGXFmMV_C9PwyfA/w640-h426/Summer+2021+255.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><p></p>Kelliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05667053558748094010noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19341072.post-30898003026613479762021-07-13T11:40:00.002-04:002021-07-13T11:40:24.019-04:00The Woman in the Mirror<p> I must begin with this verse:</p><p>I Samuel 16:7 <span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 16px;">But the </span><span class="small-caps" style="font-size: 16px; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-caps: small-caps; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal;">Lord</span><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 16px;"> said to Samuel, “Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The </span><span class="small-caps" style="font-size: 16px; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-caps: small-caps; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal;">Lord</span><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 16px;"> does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance,</span><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 16px;"> but the </span><span class="small-caps" style="font-size: 16px; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-caps: small-caps; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal;">Lord</span><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 16px;"> looks at the heart.”</span></span></p><p><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Do you want to know how many times </span>I<span style="font-family: inherit;"> have taught this verse to my students? How have I desired to help them understand that the outward appearance is not what is most important but it is the heart? How about at least 27 times for the 27 years I have been teaching on top of the "Momma Moments" I have shared it with my own children.</span></span></p><p><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Why is it that it has taken me till just now to fully absorb this truth in a way the Lord kind of had to knock me over the head with it? As </span>with anything with the Lord, I am accepting that this was my time to understand it more deeply so that I may also share this truth with others.</span></p><p><span style="background-color: white;">The other day, I was in a changing room in a store trying on clothes. The woman I saw in the mirror is NOT what I used to see. The woman in front of me had wrinkles and rolls. She could not fit into things that once would have been loose. She had to figure out her size was different and certain items did not fit the way they once did. I was frustrated with that woman. She was not who I thought I would be at this point in my life.</span></p><p><span style="background-color: white;">I would not call myself obese as I have now hit the "50 years" mark, but I also know I am not what I once was! In my younger days I was always skinny. The "I-can-eat-anything-I-want-and-still-be-skinny" skinny. If I wanted a burger, fries, and a shake, I would eat it and nothing was added to my outside figure. I did not have to exercise in order to maintain anything. I thought I would always enjoy that freedom. </span></p><p><span style="background-color: white;">While I have learned with age that my body will never be that way again, it does not mean I have sat back and allowed everything to go out of control. I still want to eat as best as possible and exercise. Yet, even with all of that, I still am not able to be what I once was. </span><span style="background-color: white;">That has been frustrating to me in so many ways - and I am sure many of you women reading this can relate. My husband can drop five pounds in one workout and I struggle to lose that amount in five months! </span></p><p><span style="background-color: white;">However, in gazing at myself in that mirror, the Lord began to teach me more deeply I should be thankful for the woman I am seeing in the mirror. That woman is not the one she used to be on the outside - but she is definitely not the one on the inside, either. The freedom I now have is so much better than the bondage I now realize I had before. I have changed and it is good.</span></p><p><span style="background-color: white;">The skinnier version of me was not the healthiest on the inside. I thought I could ingest all kinds of "junk" and still look the same on the outside. What I outwardly showed was actually a distorted view of the real me. The Lord had to help the skinny me actually put on some weight to make the inside of me healthier.</span></p><p><span style="background-color: white;">The skinnier me used to:</span></p><p><span style="background-color: white;">See herself as so much better than others because of what I looked like on the outside.</span></p><p><span style="background-color: white;">Never need to exercise because I could handle my weight and how I looked on my own.</span></p><p><span style="background-color: white;">Not understand how much a person's struggles defines them.</span></p><p><span style="background-color: white;">Spiritually eat the junk of this world and not change on the outside.</span></p><p><span style="background-color: white;">Think I could take a quick bite of Scripture and become a vision of loveliness.</span></p><div><span style="background-color: white;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="background-color: white;">The Lord had to put on some weight of struggle and hardship in my life to help me become a healthier me on the inside. My spiritual diet began to change when those struggles came along. </span></div><div><span style="background-color: white;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="background-color: white;">The weight of struggle and hardship taught me to:</span></div><div><br /></div><div><span style="background-color: white;">See in the mirror of God's Word who I really was - a broken and fragile human in need of grace from my Savior. </span></div><div><span style="background-color: white;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="background-color: white;">Understand that I could not handle the weight of the world on my own. I needed the strength of the Lord during the struggles and hardships because those were the best exercises to give more definition to my spiritual muscles.</span></div><div><span style="background-color: white;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="background-color: white;">Spiritually feed on God's Word to strengthen me inwardly so that I would change and therefore show a different me on the outside, too. </span></div><div><span style="background-color: white;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="background-color: white;">Find that slowly ingesting the rich nutrients of Scripture allows me to become that vision of loveliness.</span></div><div><span style="background-color: white;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="background-color: white;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="background-color: white;">So the me I used to know and see in that mirror is not really the me I want to be. While I still want to eat right and take care of my physical body because it is the Lord's temple, I also need to be thankful for the wrinkles, rolls, and not being able to fit into what I used to wear. Those things mean I have grown in the Lord. I am a woman who has had the Lord walk her through hard times, fears, sadness, griefs, and triumphs. I have gained valuable spiritual weight that has strengthened my heart and allowed me to be more beautiful in my outward appearance. </span></div><div><span style="background-color: white;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="background-color: white;">To the woman in the mirror looking at me - you are more free and beautiful than you have ever been. While the outside looks a little different, be thankful. You are viewed by your Heavenly Father by what has changed on the inside. </span></div>Kelliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05667053558748094010noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19341072.post-24330116881623200772021-06-26T12:43:00.002-04:002021-06-26T12:43:56.542-04:00Growing in Grief<p> Grief.</p><p>We all go through it at some point in our lives. Some grief is mild while other grief is painstakingly difficult and does not go away easily. </p><p>Some of you will definitely relate to some of what I will share. Others of you may only share in one or two, while a rare few may not have really experienced any yet.</p><p>I, personally, have found that the last fifteen months have been filled with grief in one way or another.</p><p style="text-align: center;"><b><u>The grief of:</u></b></p><p style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #6aa84f;">March 2020 to "present": Covid and the Quarantine.</span></p><p style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #674ea7;">March-May 2020: Losing the last nine weeks with my 2019/2020 second grade class.</span></p><p style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #6aa84f;">March 2020-until recently: Not having the ability to be with others for an extended period of time.</span></p><p style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #674ea7;">May 2020-August 2020: Preparing for the 2020/2021 school year with so many uncertainties.</span></p><p style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #6aa84f;">July 2020-August 2020: Going to get our son from his agriculture internship when he came down with a severe case of Mono; two weeks later taking my daughter to the ER for abdominal pain that, thankfully, revealed a cyst that was benign, and then two weeks after that, taking my son recovering from Mono to the ER and him having to have his appendix removed - the day before I started my 2020/2021 school year.</span></p><p style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #674ea7;">August 2020: Understanding the fact that the school year was going to be SO different and feeling the loss of what was normal.</span></p><p style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #6aa84f;">August 2020-May 2021: Wearing a mask all of the time.</span></p><p style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #674ea7;">August 2020-May 2021: Having to be more distant from my students when I am a hugger.</span></p><p style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #6aa84f;">For a while now: Watching my parents age and one become more unsteady.</span></p><p style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #674ea7;">November 2020: Having our horse, Mr. Deeds, get sick right after Thanksgiving.</span></p><p style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #6aa84f;">December 2020: Bringing home Deeds from the NC State Vet Hospital and a day later having to unexpectedly put down our 10 year old Golden Retriever, Molly, because of cancer found.</span></p><p style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #674ea7;">December 2020: Finding out the next week that Deeds had tested positive for salmonella while at the Vet Hospital and would have to be quarantined for thirty days. </span></p><p style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #6aa84f;">August 2020-May 2021: Feeling so overwhelmed because of the stress of the abnormal school year.</span></p><p style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #674ea7;">Wearing a mask all of the time. (Yes, it bears repeating.)</span></p><p style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #6aa84f;">Moving into the 2021 new year with great hopes of relief only to realize things did not quickly improve.</span></p><p style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #674ea7;">March 2021: Getting the phone call that my Daddy had fallen and this time it was different.</span></p><p style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #6aa84f;">March 2021-May 2021: Going to hospice to visit Daddy most everyday for 6 weeks.</span></p><p style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #674ea7;">Watching Daddy get weaker and weaker while trying to stay stronger and stronger.</span></p><p style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #6aa84f;">May 8, 2021: Holding Daddy's hand when he took his last breath.</span></p><p style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #674ea7;">May 2021: Going through the out-patient surgery with my daughter to take care of the cyst found last summer that decided to flare up again.</span></p><p style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #6aa84f;">May 2021: Ending a school year that was exhausting.</span></p><p style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #674ea7;">June 2021: Thinking that finally grief was going to begin subsiding only to get a call early this past Monday morning telling us my Father-in-law had unexpectedly passed away.</span></p><p style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #6aa84f;">Walking down yet another road to say goodbye to someone we loved. </span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><br /></p><p style="text-align: left;">As I typed out that above list, it kept growing and growing! The list is not to say I am the only one who has faced hard challenges, but rather a way for me to look back on all the Lord has brought us through.</p><p style="text-align: left;">I could look at "growing in grief"in the negative - that it seems to keep growing and coming at me and my family. Remember Job in Scriptures? I must admit that I have felt a small part of what he must have gone through.</p><p style="text-align: left;">However, the Lord has been working in my heart and life over these last difficult months to see "Growing in Grief" as something positive. </p><p style="text-align: left;"><br /></p><p style="text-align: left;">The pictures below are a hydrangea in our yard. I took these over a period of a few weeks between March and June. They were taken during some of those hard moments listed above and I could not stop thinking of how the Lord was showing me to grow in my grief.</p><p style="text-align: left;">Hydrangeas, like most plants, are just plain ugly in the winter. </p><p style="text-align: left;">But deep in the soil, that hydrangea grows and soaks in all of the rain it can get during those winter months. Hydrangeas need a lot of water so the roots still grow out and down under the soil in order for the growth on top of the soil to be seen when spring finally arrives. Even though it looks dead, that hydrangea is still growing during the harshness around it because the roots are keeping the plant anchored in the soil. </p><p style="text-align: left;">In late winter and early spring, you are able to see new growth begin. It may be hard to see from a distance, but if you get closer to the hydrangea, little green leaves begin to appear. Remember, those leaves are the way the plant is able to begin feeding itself from the suns rays to grow more beautiful and bring forth the well-loved blooms. </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkmLkekD861M32n3haS-rwivd15tRYVz3Q9xtn4zW_mGK7Z5wLE0CS0K_WclAwdP5YVSl_S5LFV50mHWDlBRloNw_unnH9XO-3ph6boPHZ2ML84E6JdB6IYG8S3ZBP1S1Po91Ynw/s2048/Spring2021+021.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1365" data-original-width="2048" height="427" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkmLkekD861M32n3haS-rwivd15tRYVz3Q9xtn4zW_mGK7Z5wLE0CS0K_WclAwdP5YVSl_S5LFV50mHWDlBRloNw_unnH9XO-3ph6boPHZ2ML84E6JdB6IYG8S3ZBP1S1Po91Ynw/w640-h427/Spring2021+021.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Grief can appear like this hydrangea in winter. The cold and harshness sets in all around and it feels ugly with no life showing. It can be hard to continue growing the roots of trust in the Lord when the <i>Son</i> does not feel as warm and the rains of <i>Living Water</i> are not always soaking in deeply because of the hardness of the surrounding "soil" circumstances. It can feel as if life will never reappear. However, the roots know that winter is not forever and spring is coming. The roots of promises in Scripture bury down into the soil and just "hold on" until spring arrives.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">This new growth after grief is sometimes very small as the grief still feels bigger than the tiny growth of leaves forming. Thankfully, those new growing leaves that the Lord is now showing allow greater feeding off of the <i>Son's</i> rays. The leaves begin soaking in that <i>Light of God's Word</i> and become bigger and stronger. Soon, out of the grief has grown large, green leaves - this new growth could happen because of being anchored to the Lord under the "soil" in winter. These new leaves from growing in grief allow the beauty to be seen from a distance. When the growth from the grief begins to blossom, others are able to admire the beauty that only the Lord could bring forth.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">While "old blooms" of grief from the past may still be seen, the new growth and beauty of the new blooms are what is in focus. The new growth is larger, stronger, and more beautiful than the year before.</div><div><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9DpRkoRRVc4NSqYJX0fb8fec_jFp5RSN-GcGA-F4uTcXqgnbjxzF7D_m4YNdag32TtyPEgjf05zmEouSfqHf9eSpfn63vEavVE70mJFfh4Z_EkxZ2f5jY5u_1upvmywRaB90MpQ/s2048/Summer+2021+003.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1365" data-original-width="2048" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9DpRkoRRVc4NSqYJX0fb8fec_jFp5RSN-GcGA-F4uTcXqgnbjxzF7D_m4YNdag32TtyPEgjf05zmEouSfqHf9eSpfn63vEavVE70mJFfh4Z_EkxZ2f5jY5u_1upvmywRaB90MpQ/w640-h426/Summer+2021+003.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><br />I want to be that hydrangea. After a hard winter of rooting down into Him as much as possible, I want to be able to burst forth in growth and blooms that the Lord has given to me during these hard, winter times of grief. It is only because of Him that I am able to be "the display of His splendor."</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">So how am I growing in grief?</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><ul style="text-align: left;"><li><span style="color: #6aa84f;">Learning more about the Lord in ways I never would have if I had not gone through these past fifteen months. Seeing more of Who He is. Understanding His path for me is not always easy, but He is always there holding my hand and guiding me. </span></li><li><span style="color: #674ea7;">Finding comfort, strength, and stability in the Lord alone as my outward circumstances continued to change.</span></li><li><span style="color: #6aa84f;">Loving my family to the fullest. Loving others deeply and realizing how important human touch is to our souls!</span></li><li><span style="color: #674ea7;">Seeing the sacrifices made by my husband to keep us going through some hard months and loving him more for it.</span></li><li><span style="color: #6aa84f;">Valuing even more the ability to teach - and teach IN PERSON! It may have looked a lot differently this past year but the fact that we were IN school all year is such a praise to the Lord!</span></li><li><span style="color: #674ea7;">Understanding that some of the change we had to do in the school year helped me learn new ways to teach and connect to my students and parents. Finding that I grew in so many ways as a teacher this year simply because I never knew what would happen next!</span></li><li><span style="color: #6aa84f;">Showing thankfulness for the ability to be there for my personal children when they need me and care for them when they are struggling.</span></li><li><span style="color: #674ea7;">Knowing that while I still hate the mask, the mask allowed me to be in front of my students every day.</span></li><li><span style="color: #6aa84f;">Finding new ways to learn about our animals and cherish their ability to bring us joy and comfort. Animals really are a gift from the Lord. Our Josie, the new golden retriever, was our gift at the end of 2020 that we did not realize how much we would need in 2021.</span></li><li><span style="color: #674ea7;">Learning how to say goodbye to my Daddy and be there for him and Mom in ways I never thought I would ever be able to do. Knowing Daddy is healed now and I WILL see him again.</span></li><li><span style="color: #6aa84f;">Holding on to a beautiful year of love and growth in my students that ended strongly.</span></li><li><span style="color: #674ea7;">Being there for my husband when his world was suddenly shattered with the loss of his own father - and understanding deeply the pain he is feeling. Knowing I am able to walk this road with him and encourage and love on him as he has loved on me.</span></li><li><span style="color: #6aa84f;">Grasping how life will never be the same again, but the Lord never changes. </span></li><li><span style="color: #674ea7;">Finding that growing in grief is not easy, but when I give it continually over to the Lord, He takes the hardness and grows it into something stronger and more beautiful.</span></li></ul></div></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">May my growing in grief allow me to bloom strongly for Him.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"> </div><div><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">Isaiah 61:1-3</div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="chapter-2" style="text-align: start;"><span class="text Isa-61-1" style="position: relative;">The Spirit of the Sovereign <span class="small-caps" style="font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-caps: small-caps; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal;">Lord</span> is on me,</span></span><br style="text-align: start;" /><span class="indent-1" style="text-align: start;"><span class="indent-1-breaks" style="font-family: monospace; font-size: 0.42em; line-height: 0;"> </span><span class="text Isa-61-1" style="position: relative;">because the <span class="small-caps" style="font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-caps: small-caps; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal;">Lord</span> has anointed me</span></span><br style="text-align: start;" /><span class="indent-1" style="text-align: start;"><span class="indent-1-breaks" style="font-family: monospace; font-size: 0.42em; line-height: 0;"> </span><span class="text Isa-61-1" style="position: relative;">to proclaim good news to the poor.<br /><span class="text Isa-61-1" style="position: relative;">He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,</span><br /><span class="indent-1"><span class="indent-1-breaks" style="font-family: monospace; font-size: 0.42em; line-height: 0;"> </span></span></span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="text-align: start;">to proclaim freedom for the captives</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="indent-1" style="text-align: start;"><span class="text Isa-61-1" style="position: relative;"><span class="indent-1"><span class="text Isa-61-1" style="position: relative;"><span class="indent-1"><span class="indent-1-breaks" style="font-family: monospace; font-size: 0.42em; line-height: 0;"> </span><span class="text Isa-61-1" style="position: relative;">and release from darkness for the prisoners,</span></span><br /><span class="text Isa-61-2" id="en-NIV-18846" style="position: relative;"><span class="versenum" style="display: inline; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Ubuntu, Cantarell, "Noto Sans", sans-serif, Arial; font-size: 1.2rem; font-weight: 700; left: -4.4em; line-height: normal; position: absolute; top: auto; vertical-align: text-top;"> </span>to proclaim the year of the <span class="small-caps" style="font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-caps: small-caps; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal;">Lord</span>’s favor<br /><span class="indent-1"><span class="indent-1-breaks" style="font-family: monospace; font-size: 0.42em; line-height: 0;"> </span><span class="text Isa-61-2" style="position: relative;">and the day of vengeance of our God,</span></span><br /><span class="text Isa-61-2" style="position: relative;">to comfort all who mourn,<br /><span class="indent-1"><span class="text Isa-61-3" id="en-NIV-18847" style="position: relative;"><span class="versenum" style="display: inline; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Ubuntu, Cantarell, "Noto Sans", sans-serif, Arial; font-size: 1.2rem; font-weight: 700; left: -4.4em; line-height: normal; position: absolute; top: auto; vertical-align: text-top;"><br /></span><span class="versenum" style="display: inline; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Ubuntu, Cantarell, "Noto Sans", sans-serif, Arial; font-size: 1.2rem; font-weight: 700; left: -4.4em; line-height: normal; position: absolute; top: auto; vertical-align: text-top;"><br /></span><span class="versenum" style="display: inline; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Ubuntu, Cantarell, "Noto Sans", sans-serif, Arial; font-size: 1.2rem; font-weight: 700; left: -4.4em; line-height: normal; position: absolute; top: auto; vertical-align: text-top;"><br /></span><span class="indent-1-breaks" style="font-family: monospace; font-size: 0.42em; line-height: 0;"> </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="text-align: start;">and provide for those who grieve in Zion—</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="indent-1" style="text-align: start;"><span class="text Isa-61-1" style="position: relative;"><span class="indent-1"><span class="text Isa-61-1" style="position: relative;"><span class="text Isa-61-2" style="position: relative;"><span class="text Isa-61-2" style="position: relative;"><span class="text Isa-61-3" style="position: relative;">to bestow on them a crown of beauty</span><br /><span class="indent-1"><span class="indent-1-breaks" style="font-family: monospace; font-size: 0.42em; line-height: 0;"> </span><span class="text Isa-61-3" style="position: relative;">instead of ashes,<br /><span class="text Isa-61-3" style="position: relative;">the oil of joy</span><br /><span class="indent-1"><span class="indent-1-breaks" style="font-family: monospace; font-size: 0.42em; line-height: 0;"> </span><span class="text Isa-61-3" style="position: relative;">instead of mourning,<br /><span class="text Isa-61-3" style="position: relative;">and a garment of praise</span><br /><span class="indent-1"><span class="indent-1-breaks" style="font-family: monospace; font-size: 0.42em; line-height: 0;"> </span><span class="text Isa-61-3" style="position: relative;">instead of a spirit of despair.</span></span><br /><span class="text Isa-61-3" style="position: relative;">They will be called oaks of righteousness,</span><br /><span class="indent-1"><span class="indent-1-breaks" style="font-family: monospace; font-size: 0.42em; line-height: 0;"> </span><span class="text Isa-61-3" style="position: relative;">a planting of the <span class="small-caps" style="font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-caps: small-caps; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal;">Lord</span></span></span><br /><span class="indent-1"><span class="indent-1-breaks" style="font-family: monospace; font-size: 0.42em; line-height: 0;"> </span><span class="text Isa-61-3" style="position: relative;">for the display of his splendor.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></div></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh0ZANoEJM1QIpg8bltCHAuDNqvKSRcZepKFWM3gB6hlGzcs6IKEsEIDPqV2vl9c0R_tSVDqLf3m2UzzidJ3SYsbIn4YABNN5Imv69fSC4fSJzNablLs5f2DgwvAcwCXjac2KU4OA/s2048/Summer+2021+004.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1365" data-original-width="2048" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh0ZANoEJM1QIpg8bltCHAuDNqvKSRcZepKFWM3gB6hlGzcs6IKEsEIDPqV2vl9c0R_tSVDqLf3m2UzzidJ3SYsbIn4YABNN5Imv69fSC4fSJzNablLs5f2DgwvAcwCXjac2KU4OA/w640-h426/Summer+2021+004.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>Kelliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05667053558748094010noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19341072.post-76253897881800410302020-12-29T16:08:00.000-05:002020-12-29T16:08:20.615-05:00Searching for 2020 Vision<p>Our son seems to struggle with keeping up with his glasses. He thinks he can go without them, but he has recently realized life is so much easier with them on your face. We have found since he got them in third grade that it is hard to keep this boy in glasses. Unfortunately, contacts are not his favorite.</p><p>This year alone, our boy has gone through three pair - let me tell you the story. </p><p>In February, he went for his eye exam and got an updated pair of glasses because his older ones had been lost, found, lost again, broken, etc. I figured since he was older now we would have greater success at keeping them in one piece and one place! </p><p>He managed to lose those glasses, though.... only to find them a bit later in the side of his bed where his bed frame caught them. Whew. We dodged that one!</p><p>Move forward to the end of summer. He was working with some cows and had to chase one with a four-wheeler through a wooded area. He hit a tree root with that four-wheeler and went two-wheeling for a time and in the process, you guessed it, he lost his glasses. I get a phone call from him telling me the story. Well, some cow somewhere can probably see really well, but now my boy cannot see. </p><p>Our boy decides to become resourceful and finds the pair we bought for him long ago when he was much younger and kept losing his glasses. When we got them (ordered them online), they were too big for his face, but now that he was older, they fit great! He was thrilled that he had solved his problem. Then, a few weeks later, he is out on our property putting up fencing for his future cows. He was working hard.... and those glasses fell out of a pocket and were gone. I thought he was joking when he told me. By now, this is just getting comical.</p><p>He then had to resort to a pair of glasses he had in fifth grade...but he left them on the den floor, stepped on them and broke one of the arms. He fixed it by putting an ear string from a face mask on each side and strapping them to his head. It was comical to say the least.</p><p>A couple of weeks ago he was out on the fence line at dark. He said he felt a nudge to go look for those glasses again that he lost when out working on the property. He got out his cell phone and turned on the flashlight and said, "Lord, it would really be great if I could find those glasses so I can see again." Within a few minutes, the Lord showed him where they were - stuck in the ground and caked in mud. He was so excited! He cleaned them off and was able to see again, then called me to tell me the good news. He has since lost them a few more times but found them again. While we could get irritated that he loses his glasses so much, we have come to accept that this is part of his life right now. It is a learning experience where he will be responsible for future glasses. </p><p>But then...it occurred to me that this year of 2020 has felt like the story of our son losing his glasses. </p><p>I have felt the 2020 vision of the Lord's guidance has been lost, then found, then lost again only to be found later covered in the mud of the year we have all faced. I have tried to cling to them, only to drop them somewhere and not find them for a time.</p><p></p><p style="text-align: center;"><img alt="5,118 Foggy Glasses Stock Photos, Pictures & Royalty-Free Images - iStock" class="n3VNCb" data-noaft="1" jsaction="load:XAeZkd;" jsname="HiaYvf" src="https://media.istockphoto.com/photos/eyeglasses-with-dirty-marks-on-lens-picture-id1199848992?k=6&m=1199848992&s=612x612&w=0&h=ZRxoETvb1RXSRBNywnVDbRbJ0r11FN49pM1gljcGj10=" style="height: 361.3333333333333px; margin: 0px; width: 542px;" /></p><p></p><p>2020 is supposed to be perfect vision but this year has seemed anything but that.</p><p>I have joined the many people who have struggled to see the meaning of it all. </p><p>I have felt my vision of a normal life fade. </p><p>I have struggled to see clearly out of the glasses I have used in previous years. </p><p>Some days seemed comical with the events around me. For a time, I was hanging on to the glasses while chasing life on a four-wheeler through a wooded area. Then, out of nowhere, a hidden root of a circumstance made my four-wheeler go two-wheeling and those glasses fell off. I was driving with a blurred view of my surroundings. </p><p>I have tried to strap on some "string" of Scripture to my glasses so they can still hang on my face and allow me to see His Truths. I have used the Light of His Word to find the strength to see each day.</p><p>This year of 2020 has been a hard one to really SEE what is going on with clear vision.</p><p>But maybe that is what the perfect vision of 2020 was to show me. </p><p>I cannot see without HIM. I cannot strap on His vision with my own strength or ideas. I must allow Him to hold the glasses of His truths on my face because I lose things easily in my human nature. </p><p>When my glasses of what was going on around me were lost, mud-caked, and I could not see, He shone His light of Scripture so I could find them again. He helped me clean them off and see again. By Scripture I could see His hand of hope, mercy, or love on my situations. Some days were clearer than others.</p><p>But that is what faith is all about - hoping without always seeing.</p><p><span style="color: #674ea7;">Hebrews 11:1 (ESV) - Now <b>faith</b> is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.</span></p><p>I find that I am still cleaning off the mud that has been caked on throughout this year. I have learned more deeply how to cling to the One who can give sight to the blind because 2020 has felt like one blind-sighted moment after another. </p><p><span style="color: #38761d;"> 1 Corinthians 2:9 (CSB) - <span style="font-size: 16px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">What no eye has seen, no ear has heard, </span></span><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 16px;">and no human heart has conceived—</span><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="quote" style="font-size: 16px;">God has prepared these things for those who love him.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="color: #674ea7;">2 Corinthians 4:7-9 (ESV) - <span style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="text 2Cor-4-7" style="font-size: 16px;">But we have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us.</span><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 16px;"> </span><span class="text 2Cor-4-8" id="en-ESV-28851" style="font-size: 16px;">We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair;</span><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 16px;"> </span><span class="text 2Cor-4-9" id="en-ESV-28852" style="font-size: 16px;">persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed;</span></span></span></p><p><span style="color: #38761d;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(103, 78, 167);">2 Corinthians 4:16-18 (ESV) - </span><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(103, 78, 167);"><span class="text 2Cor-4-16" id="en-ESV-28859" style="font-size: 16px;">So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day.</span><span class="text 2Cor-4-17" id="en-ESV-28860" style="font-size: 16px;"><span class="versenum" style="display: inline; font-size: 1.2rem; font-weight: 700; line-height: normal; position: relative; top: auto; vertical-align: text-top;"> </span></span></span><span class="text 2Cor-4-17" style="caret-color: rgb(103, 78, 167); font-size: 16px;">For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison,</span><span style="background-color: white; caret-color: rgb(103, 78, 167); font-size: 16px;"> </span><span class="text 2Cor-4-18" id="en-ESV-28861" style="caret-color: rgb(103, 78, 167); font-size: 16px;">as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.</span><span style="caret-color: rgb(103, 78, 167);"> </span></span></span></p><p><span style="caret-color: rgb(103, 78, 167); font-family: inherit;">My prayer for 2021 is remember the 2020 vision the Lord gave me this year, and see more clearly that He is faithful, steadfast, and my only HOPE. Here is a quote from one of the books the Lord has had me re-read lately that sums up 2020:</span></p><p style="text-align: center;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(103, 78, 167); color: #990000; font-family: inherit;"><b>"Although we may feel that we're taking a blind step of faith into an uncertain future, with each successive step that we take, we will experience God's faithfulness and we'll develop the faith that learns to trust God, regardless of what we 'see.' <i>This is the kind of faith that saves</i>. It's faith that responds to God's Promises and moves forward. Faith causes you to know in your heart before you see with your eyes." </b>- Cherie Hill - <i>Be Still: Let Jesus Calm Your Storms</i></span></p><p style="text-align: center;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(103, 78, 167); font-family: inherit; font-size: x-large;"><i><b>2 Corinthians 5:7 - for we walk by faith, not by sight.</b></i></span></p>Kelliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05667053558748094010noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19341072.post-38039169845735622222020-09-16T19:17:00.000-04:002020-09-16T19:17:12.506-04:00Hope and Praise - Learned Through the Dandelions<p>Each year I ask the Lord to give me a word on which to think upon and
use in my life for the year ahead. Last December as I was praying over
the word from Him, it was not coming easily. <i>Even with trying to find
verses for my calendar for 2020, the ones He was giving me felt very
disjointed and never flowing quite right. I kept praying that the lord
would give me more clarity, but He chose to give me verses that were not
showing a theme as I had wanted, but they were definitely showing His
truths.</i></p><p>Finally, the Lord gave me the word I needed for this
year and He gave it to me literally right before 2020 began. It is the
word HOPE. I will be honest - I questioned it. I felt like that was such
a common word we see all around us - like in home decor or our use of
the word so casually. Little did I realize how much the Lord would use
that word in my life and how it would deepen my understanding of it's
true meaning as I have walked through this year.</p><p>January and February came and went with "ease" as we can look back on now. (haha)</p><p>As
March came into play - the word "hope" became something on which I was
to cling. When our world abruptly "stopped," my way to "escape" out of
the quarantine was to walk - mostly up and down my driveway. I know many
people had to find different ways to deal with the grief and sadness at
being "yanked away" from socialization. Mine came from the walks. On
these walks, the Lord began to teach me more about <b>HOPE</b><u> in Him</u> and how to <b>PRAISE</b> <u>Him</u> even when I did not understand.</p><p>While
walking, I began to see many dandelions. Most people hate a dandelion.
They are seen as just a weed and are annoying to those trying to get rid of them.</p><p><u><i>I am not one of those people.</i> I love them and find them captivating.</u></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibPf6RqFCpXO_3i0h4nsXxBlpJlM87hHR3cM6UKlycNy2HpaVCkpxE8qaIE0u3Bo5GvN6tLs7o3TLxszyD5XhUFBnKUao3M9NXml0xp0V9sQg0Eo1UOwF4sINq-qUhveSth5ozVw/s2048/Spring2020+180.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1365" data-original-width="2048" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibPf6RqFCpXO_3i0h4nsXxBlpJlM87hHR3cM6UKlycNy2HpaVCkpxE8qaIE0u3Bo5GvN6tLs7o3TLxszyD5XhUFBnKUao3M9NXml0xp0V9sQg0Eo1UOwF4sINq-qUhveSth5ozVw/w400-h266/Spring2020+180.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><p>In my personal opinion, their beauty goes unnoticed. They bloom all around us, yet most walk by and do not take in the details of the magnificent creation that they really are. Over the course of this year, and with life being "put on hold" because of a pandemic, I was able to have time to easily view dandelions come up from the winter soil and begin their life in spring. I have always loved to capture them through my camera lens, but this year they seemed to be calling out for me to view them in a new light... <i><b>Or maybe the Lord needed to remind me of His truth in something of His creation that I would be able to view in my own yard since that is where I was confined for some time.</b></i> So, I grabbed my camera and off I went....</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjRHrsutN-rgkCJjQ6BnfaVWVdbWoqHzOTbQ1u_ZxD_YZQY8CRDgn8UiPv_ZktcLl6Sto2W4ZmnGPZGEnIOVHDw0kqMv9goJMmkJGzrHulrz97-xZXg4PiOwM4Lpa951Lhd4YRCCg/s2048/Spring2020+165.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1365" data-original-width="2048" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjRHrsutN-rgkCJjQ6BnfaVWVdbWoqHzOTbQ1u_ZxD_YZQY8CRDgn8UiPv_ZktcLl6Sto2W4ZmnGPZGEnIOVHDw0kqMv9goJMmkJGzrHulrz97-xZXg4PiOwM4Lpa951Lhd4YRCCg/w400-h266/Spring2020+165.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><p></p><p>I began looking at the yellow blooms dotting the newly-greening yard and sensing cheer in the midst of uncertainty. I began to see the white of the seeds blowing in the breeze and found myself drawn to them even more than previous years.<br /></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEho68omm03wkeTdmS_ldqqY6HzLt9zInkktnEmZL-wQWxwTRu5jqa8pdQt3iiJKnJ8-EwRoQvmc_Cf8iob_Aa3x3c7hDbU0Wcz26WbwXSIwwlnTZLWzegCi0FCapLJ-TyPG7jK5ZQ/s2048/Spring2020+167.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1365" data-original-width="2048" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEho68omm03wkeTdmS_ldqqY6HzLt9zInkktnEmZL-wQWxwTRu5jqa8pdQt3iiJKnJ8-EwRoQvmc_Cf8iob_Aa3x3c7hDbU0Wcz26WbwXSIwwlnTZLWzegCi0FCapLJ-TyPG7jK5ZQ/w400-h266/Spring2020+167.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><p>While I understand that not everyone feels the same about dandelions, we cannot deny some valuable facts about them:</p><p><span style="color: #38761d;">They have deep root systems - they can grow from 10 to 15 feet deep.</span></p><p>Their greens are full of Vitamin A - which boosts immunity and helps with eyesight.</p><p><span style="color: #38761d;">The entire plant can be used for human consumption with great benefits.</span></p><p>This little "weed" can grow 8-24 inches - and keep growing no matter what the conditions are around it.</p><p><span style="color: #38761d;">Dandelions are actually a part of the daisy family. Yep....see...We love daisies so why not dandelions.</span></p><p>One dandelion flower is actually a combination of 300 flowers that at first look may appear to be petals. </p><p><span style="color: #38761d;">The seeds are pretty spectacular. Once the flower dries out, the petals fall off and the seeds appear.</span></p><p>The seeds are attached to light and airy "pappi" (the white fluffy part) which allow the seed to spread easily.<b id="docs-internal-guid-5e6de400-7fff-571b-1e3b-d2c8b5ac73ff" style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: center;"><b id="docs-internal-guid-5e6de400-7fff-571b-1e3b-d2c8b5ac73ff" style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #666666; font-size: 8pt; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">https://www.birdsandblooms.com/gardening/7-surprising-facts-dandelions/</span></span></b></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: center;"><b id="docs-internal-guid-5e6de400-7fff-571b-1e3b-d2c8b5ac73ff" style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #666666; font-size: 8pt; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">https://homeguides.sfgate.com/how-does-a-dandelion-grow-13406401.html</span></span></b></p><br class="Apple-interchange-newline" /><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEggAlmfFFO3dAegf6rm5tKtAI6KgjbOSG49NkY4n5O0cOsLzul3lrQbG2TEbHKYNXqSe-J9BP8kYP2bVM_P0WsvDTh8HOCXvWhCLI9aGybHn81DagD168x8xciiqg9kxjbMX46GkA/s2048/Spring2020+145.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1365" data-original-width="2048" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEggAlmfFFO3dAegf6rm5tKtAI6KgjbOSG49NkY4n5O0cOsLzul3lrQbG2TEbHKYNXqSe-J9BP8kYP2bVM_P0WsvDTh8HOCXvWhCLI9aGybHn81DagD168x8xciiqg9kxjbMX46GkA/w400-h266/Spring2020+145.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><p>Those dandelions showed me so much of what <b>HOPE</b> and <b>PRAISE</b> in the Lord requires. Much of it is based on that root system!</p><p><span style="color: #38761d;">I must be rooted deeply in God's Word for my hope to remain steadfast and sure. If my time in God's Word is shallow, I will never see His <b>HOPE</b> and be able to praise Him through it all.</span></p><p>After being rooted in the Lord and His Word deeply, I can then grow in Him and be of benefit to others. My spiritual immune system can be stronger and my spiritual eyesight will be clear.</p><p><span style="color: #38761d;">Because the Lord is my <b>HOPE</b>, I can still grow even when the "soil of life" is hard and dry. I can still be a bright influence in the lives of others.</span></p><p>I am not alone - just as the dandelion is part of the daisy family - I am a part of the Body of Christ. I can trust that I have my spiritual family around me.</p><p><span style="color: #38761d;">I must die to my "own" hope - what I might think is best. I have to die to self so that my petals fall off and reveal new seeds which signal new growth that is only possible through the Lord.</span></p><p>Those new spiritual seeds are attached to my Abba "Pappi" so that as they "leave me," I am spreading the <u><i><b>Lord's</b></i></u> Truths <i><b>and not my own</b></i>. In this I am showing <b>PRAISE</b> to the Lord.</p><p><span style="color: #38761d;">Once those seeds fall, they can begin the cycle again in another. That is what being a believer in Christ is all about.</span></p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgOWhbj0hf6wMyo617k5g8bsDWU9wfzQjTzFjPyYfOHtICZ0aPTX8MINBwaSRhiOg8vdwdAv1XaKjcZkF5KJoTWQwKz3gd7buZXs8g_Iziadc56MmKhgePpvusYTZ1Pn-3XU5FuBA/s2048/Spring2020+153.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1365" data-original-width="2048" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgOWhbj0hf6wMyo617k5g8bsDWU9wfzQjTzFjPyYfOHtICZ0aPTX8MINBwaSRhiOg8vdwdAv1XaKjcZkF5KJoTWQwKz3gd7buZXs8g_Iziadc56MmKhgePpvusYTZ1Pn-3XU5FuBA/w400-h266/Spring2020+153.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><br /><u><i><b>This year has been hard.</b></i></u><p></p><p>It has looked hard for most of us in the same ways because of COVID - but then there are personal hardships each of us have walked through this year - some even that many are not aware.</p><p>Personally, my <b>hope</b> in the Lord is stronger because of the hardship. I will never look at a dandelion in the same way because of what the Lord showed me through them this year. I will never look at 2020 without the memory of this year, but at the same time, I will <b>praise</b> the Lord for what He has done in my life through all of the hardship. I think those two words - <b>hope and praise</b> - are needed much in our lives now. We must realize that our hope is in Christ alone and we must praise Him even when we do not understand - even when it is hard. That is why the verse the Lord actually gave me in 2019 for my "year word" of "praise" is so fitting for us now. He knew I would still need to cling to it in 2020. </p><p><i><b>And cling I have. </b></i><br /></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEieWWmGYDRbV7m63y3p1zB1w5jWj-nv1BzRN3Rf38nU50X6SyTtV_Rb2WLIZ4V8im8achu2z0lIDAxgQsKS8hCB73OQDk9yMVmxY8VczPjSb6e8xGfFGPce5UwX8HjMaGdS7jw3JA/s2048/Psalm+71+14+ESV.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1365" data-original-width="2048" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEieWWmGYDRbV7m63y3p1zB1w5jWj-nv1BzRN3Rf38nU50X6SyTtV_Rb2WLIZ4V8im8achu2z0lIDAxgQsKS8hCB73OQDk9yMVmxY8VczPjSb6e8xGfFGPce5UwX8HjMaGdS7jw3JA/w640-h426/Psalm+71+14+ESV.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><br /><p>Remember how I said above that the verses the Lord gave me for my calendar of 2020 were "disjointed" and did not follow a theme? Well, every verse for every month has been a truth from the Lord that I have needed at that time. It was His <b>HOPE</b> that kept me steadfast and secure when our world has not made sense around us. In that, I <b>PRAISE</b> Him.<br /></p>Kelliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05667053558748094010noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19341072.post-74605254286655218882020-09-07T21:09:00.002-04:002020-09-07T21:12:21.349-04:00Being Fed for the Journey Ahead<p>The Lord has shown me much over the last six months - and I have shared some of those moments in my previous blog posts. I have a feeling there will be more posts sharing what the Lord has taught me.</p><p>After ending the school year with distance learning, this summer was weird. <i>(Well, what is new - for the most part, all of 2020 so far has been weird!)</i> The summer was filled with a lot of uncertainty and I could not fully "relax" and plan for a new school year. </p><p>The picture below was taken in winter. While I know I am discussing my summer, this whole season of COVID has felt like winter - in the middle of a desert. Bare branches, no color, bitterness, and food can be scarce. <i>(...or toilet paper and cleaners....) </i>Life still was not "normal."</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgw9LdPM2qpimMO5eD0AN4LhiUsA86Ame8NRDubxfo_9lOVl0dsiYKe9o2GbwszLhkjxLJ-TVUiovzpw9SdZDFkP_AyGtqBVwmLunAGINB1w7i3E56Jzr8CBOOTDYWR04s2xrdiwA/s2048/LakeMattamuskeetDecember2014+024.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1365" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgw9LdPM2qpimMO5eD0AN4LhiUsA86Ame8NRDubxfo_9lOVl0dsiYKe9o2GbwszLhkjxLJ-TVUiovzpw9SdZDFkP_AyGtqBVwmLunAGINB1w7i3E56Jzr8CBOOTDYWR04s2xrdiwA/s640/LakeMattamuskeetDecember2014+024.jpg" /></a></div><br /><p>One thing I always love about my summers is that I am able to study God's Word for longer periods of time. I am so grateful for what the Lord showed me during this wintry, dry-desert, wilderness of a summer.</p><p>I was reading in I Kings 19 about Elijah the prophet. In chapter 18, he had shown God's great power in the defeat of the prophets of Baal on Mount Carmel. It has always intrigued me how in just the next chapter - chapter 19 - Elijah goes from the confident prophet of chapter 18 to the scared man running away from Queen Jezebel in chapter 19. She was angry over her prophets of Baal being defeated and killed at Mount Carmel and wanted to take Elijah's life. This no longer just dealt with defending the Lord. This involved Elijah's LIFE. Elijah was scared....Elijah was <b><i>human</i></b>.</p><p>As Elijah runs for his life and hides in the wilderness, the Lord takes care of him. See from these verses in I Kings 19:4-8</p><div style="text-align: justify;"><i><span style="color: #38761d;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 16px; text-align: center;">But he himself went a day's journey into the wilderness and came and sat down under a broom tree. </span><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 16px; text-align: center;">And he asked that he might die, saying, “It is enough; now, O</span><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 16px; text-align: center;"> </span><span class="small-caps" style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 16px; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-caps: small-caps; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; text-align: center;">Lord</span><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 16px; text-align: center;">, take away my life, for I am no better than my fathers.”</span></span></i></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: #38761d; font-family: inherit;"><div style="text-align: justify;"><i><span class="text 1Kgs-19-5" id="en-ESV-9393" style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 16px;">And he lay down and slept under a broom tree. And behold, an angel touched him and said to him, <b>“Arise and eat.”</b></span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit; font-size: 16px;"><b> </b></span></i></div></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="text 1Kgs-19-6" id="en-ESV-9394" style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 16px;"><i><span style="color: #38761d;">And he looked, and behold, there was at his head a cake baked on hot stones and a jar of water. And he ate and drank and lay down again.<span style="background-color: white;"> </span></span></i></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="text 1Kgs-19-7" id="en-ESV-9395" style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 16px;"><i><span style="color: #38761d;">And the angel of the <span class="small-caps" style="font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-caps: small-caps; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal;">Lord</span> came again a second time and touched him and said, <b>“Arise and eat, for the journey is too great for you.”<span style="background-color: white;"> </span></b></span></i></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="text 1Kgs-19-8" id="en-ESV-9396" style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 16px;"><i><span style="color: #38761d;">And he arose and ate and drank, and went in the strength of that food forty days and forty nights to Horeb, the mount of God.</span></i></span></div><p style="text-align: left;">Elijah just wanted to run away and be done with life, but the Lord, in His wisdom, knew what Elijah needed more than Elijah thought. He was in the wilderness under a "broom tree."<i> (A "broom tree" is a <u><b>bush</b></u> that gives just enough shade in the <b><u>desert</u></b>. It is not your huge shade tree in the backyard of a picturesque American-style home. It would not be <b><u>my</u></b> idea of rest and shade.) </i>The Lord sent His angel to give Elijah rest and then to feed him. He knew what journey lay ahead for Elijah and wanted him to be fed and nourished in the best way for what he was being called to do.</p><p style="text-align: left;">That picture of a Elijah in the wilderness trying to find shade from a broom tree resembles this past summer for me. <i>(....and maybe you, too....)</i> I wanted to run away from it all. My heart and soul felt like I was wandering in this strange desert and, while I had some rest, the summer was also one full of many "what ifs." Life felt so uncertain and, at times, dry, harsh, and bitter.</p><p style="text-align: left;">But in that wilderness under my own "broom tree" the Lord called me to Him through His Word. He called for me to <i><span style="color: #38761d;">"Arise and eat - for the journey is too great for you."</span></i> I was surrounded by fear everywhere I turned (news, social media, conversations) and I felt it closing in on me. I started to realize what I was feeding myself was not of the Lord and I needed to step away and stay close to God's Word.</p><p style="text-align: left;">After what is shown in the Scripture passage above, it then explains how Elijah goes on a long journey to Mount Horeb <i>(also Mount Sinai .... where Moses received the 10 Commandments...)</i>. I found that intriguing. As you read on, you would see that is the famous passage where Elijah was in the cleft of the rock and the Lord asked Elijah why he was there. Elijah begins the complaining - the same thing I found myself doing with all of this mess of COVID. Then, the Lord told Elijah to go out and stand on the MOUNT before the Lord. The Lord allowed Elijah to realize He would not speak to him through loudness such as a strong wind, an earthquake, or fire. He would speak to Elijah through His still, small voice. The Lord told Elijah he needed to get back to work for there were still great things he must do for the Lord. </p><p style="text-align: left;">The Lord showed me the same this summer. I would not find Him in the chaos around me. I would only find Him when I stopped the complaining, turned and came before Him, and allowed the still, small voice of His Word to feed me. In staying close to God's Word, I began to take note of different passages of Scripture He was showing me. Some were passages He had shown me before, but I now saw in a different light. Others were new revelations of His truths and I clung to them. I voraciously ate from the Bread of Life and deeply drank from the Living Water all summer. He alone restored my soul and strengthened/deepened my trust in Him. He was providing the nourishment I needed for the school-year-journey ahead. </p><p style="text-align: left;">Those Scriptures the Lord showed me this summer I then made into picture verse cards. The Lord showed me I needed to surround my students and me with His TRUTH. I taped the verse cards on the walls all around my classroom (and in my home!) so I would still receive spiritual nourishment in the uncertainty of each day with every look around my classroom...and so would my students. I knew the beginning of school was going to be like no other and I am fully seeing that now. Those verses and quotes have been continually feeding me - and my students - as we walk each day in this new journey. </p><p style="text-align: left;">I cannot do it without the Lord. His Word provides me the strength I need to do what He has called me to do. He taught me so much this summer and I, in turn, am choosing to teach others. He has shown me there are still great things I must do for the Lord. The circumstances may seem out of control, but He is always <b><u>in control</u></b>.</p><p style="text-align: left;">I am so thankful to be back to work. God has already done great things in the four "unprecedented" weeks we have been back at school - and I praise Him for what He will do as we continue to walk this journey ahead. </p><p style="text-align: left;">If you are feeling as I was, I encourage you to do as the Lord showed me - be filled with the Bread of Life and drink deeply from the Living Water. It is the only way to be fed for the journey ahead.</p>Kelliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05667053558748094010noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19341072.post-61994377638811511472020-07-11T21:07:00.000-04:002020-07-11T21:07:30.405-04:00Seeing 2020 Through the Stitches<div>Little did I realize what the Lord would help me see this year of 2020 through my stitches. </div><div><br /></div><div>First, let me explain a little bit about the "stitches" in cross-stitch and my love of it. I, personally, have been cross-stitching since before the age of ten. The cross-stitch I do is called <i><b>counted cross-stitch</b></i>. It means I have to count squares and find my center before I can figure out where to start. It means that each color has a different symbol and I have to make sure I count them correctly as I move forward in the pattern. These patterns are not like "paint-by-number" where the pattern is imprinted on the fabric. I have done many over the years and learned by my MANY mistakes on how to get better. It is something I truly love to do.</div><div><br /></div><div>Every January I teach cross-stitching to my students in relation to our Colonial study in History. It is a great project that teaches many things for the children. One thing I always teach them as I begin it is that cross-stitching is like our lives. The Lord knows the finished product of who/what we will be and He fills in the stitches in His time. The back may look messy but the front always shows the true picture. Their project involves the fabric with a simple picture drawn on it and they learn the basics of the stitching.</div><div><div><br /></div><div>I have still done some cross-stitching through the years, but life stepped in and helped me see that right then I did not have hours to sit and stitch. Cross-stitching had to be put aside to raise babies and juggle life. So when I started up cross-stitching again in 2011 I was pretty excited. However, life continued to roll forward and my time of stitching was hit and miss.</div></div><div><br /></div><div>It was during January of this year, and the timing of when I teach my students how to do it, that I had an urge to break out mine again! And by break out again - I am meaning - break out what I had started in 2011 because, well.... I have been working on this SAME cross-stitch since June 2011. Little did I realize then that I would not be finished with this specific pattern by now. I did not truly understand what I was getting into when I began the thing. Since I have cross-stitched for so long I figured this was the same as always...</div><div><br /></div><div>...BUT, this cross-stitch pattern was one like I have never tackled before, and I thought I had tackled some challenging ones! As soon as I began it I knew that this one would be different. Below is a picture of what it was as I began it in 2011. I did not get as far as one might think - especially compared to how I <b><i>used</i></b> to roll them out! </div><div><br /></div><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;"><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;"><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;"><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;"><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjy8VV_efpcipXQhKCv_NSBSwsLyDa9vGK9eUi0D_I79M_MwH9pLtcJSujSxJ5-TfwvF344BiODhTiJ70SEhe4oo55JKoLUGJgQPHjLdXfnN0xo-yChGEnLEUHT72RCFf1SgxvMsQ/s3888/crossstitching+01.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2592" data-original-width="3888" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjy8VV_efpcipXQhKCv_NSBSwsLyDa9vGK9eUi0D_I79M_MwH9pLtcJSujSxJ5-TfwvF344BiODhTiJ70SEhe4oo55JKoLUGJgQPHjLdXfnN0xo-yChGEnLEUHT72RCFf1SgxvMsQ/s320/crossstitching+01.jpg" width="320" /></a></div></blockquote></blockquote></blockquote></blockquote><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">You may be "oohing and aaahing" at the bright colors, but let me help you understand something. Those reds and oranges? They are several different hues of the same color that are so closely matched that one would struggle to see the difference in color if it wasn't for some <b>bright</b> light.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Next up, the pattern itself. This pattern is 12 pages long. When I printed out this pattern in 2011 I was a bit shell-shocked and had to figure out where to begin. I also had to get material that had holes more closely knit together to allow me to have a finished product that <i>would not cover my entire wall</i>. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px;"><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px;"><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px;"><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px;"><div style="text-align: left;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6ynDRpTGsYYQvhlulk7BvDmLWrtZzp16Uq5ie81kJvo-eDtNHN5efE84d4eq3OKcgUsJA_-uHxhWeS1ubr-33SZMlaqLfYDkNuBtIumUeaWc9-cLcfmsb4AGyHR7rNa3wgScgRg/s3955/C6A92C30-24AA-4728-8482-247068DC49E7.jpeg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2966" data-original-width="3955" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6ynDRpTGsYYQvhlulk7BvDmLWrtZzp16Uq5ie81kJvo-eDtNHN5efE84d4eq3OKcgUsJA_-uHxhWeS1ubr-33SZMlaqLfYDkNuBtIumUeaWc9-cLcfmsb4AGyHR7rNa3wgScgRg/s320/C6A92C30-24AA-4728-8482-247068DC49E7.jpeg" width="320" /></a></div></blockquote></blockquote></blockquote></blockquote><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">As I began, I found my center. I counted up and across and then I began the stitching. <b>But I soon realized <i>this was harder than anything I have ever done before.</i></b></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">I would get lost in the pattern.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">I would struggle with how many times I had to change the colored thread.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">I would see an area that only needed <b><u>one stitch</u></b> of a certain color as <b>a PAIN to deal with and annoying at times</b>.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">I also struggled with the backside of it. I have always tried to be a neat stitcher. I have always tried to make the back look as "orderly" as possible. This is what this backing looks like:</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px;"><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px;"><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px;"><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px;"><div style="text-align: left;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhyu8YIctIZuJSgqfBY_bC6JLnFQukXyr3_U2ZMqPwTufYZCTZElNWONBwMiry1t8khwsFkMbUl9i6JmMdvKjV4areo1hM6v47z6UR4EHjDU7yaZyaO-NiXLxbP1CnHPNL-VY_04g/s5472/crossstitch2020+03.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="3648" data-original-width="5472" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhyu8YIctIZuJSgqfBY_bC6JLnFQukXyr3_U2ZMqPwTufYZCTZElNWONBwMiry1t8khwsFkMbUl9i6JmMdvKjV4areo1hM6v47z6UR4EHjDU7yaZyaO-NiXLxbP1CnHPNL-VY_04g/s320/crossstitch2020+03.jpg" width="320" /></a></div></blockquote></blockquote></blockquote></blockquote><div><br /></div><div>I affectionately call that a "hot mess." I have to change the thread so often that the back looks more like a shag rug than a neat-rowed and orderly work of backside art.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">There is so much changing of thread. There are so many parts of the pattern that requires me to really pay attention.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">I could look at the pattern in small areas such as this:</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhg8KxskPxoqLz873rnu0zWpW1-8eIhAkjMErMPE_JCNfUe1_zwp1og4iNBDLEKZVeN_59xk0Nn9DXRSABSZPFZpcId747QW0J8jv3ygRxZU-gRvNPFHRPGVW6-waA5WseXQDO-5A/s4032/5A57D19A-E970-4234-B7D4-14D9CCBD868A.jpeg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="4032" data-original-width="3024" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhg8KxskPxoqLz873rnu0zWpW1-8eIhAkjMErMPE_JCNfUe1_zwp1og4iNBDLEKZVeN_59xk0Nn9DXRSABSZPFZpcId747QW0J8jv3ygRxZU-gRvNPFHRPGVW6-waA5WseXQDO-5A/s320/5A57D19A-E970-4234-B7D4-14D9CCBD868A.jpeg" /></a></div><div><br /></div><div>This view of the pattern is actually more of a "happy place" in my pattern for me. Do you notice a lot of the symbols are the same in an area and that means I can carry on with the same color for a long time? This is kind of how my patterns in the past have been <u>and I loved the control</u>. <i><b>I loved the feeling of having everything neat and tidy.</b></i></div><div><br /></div><div>But look at this pictured part of the pattern. </div><div><br /></div><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px;"><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px;"><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px;"><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px;"><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px;"><div style="text-align: left;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjeTnOUD_wqp3Q_EAgTEzTgRXk9TLbUv7rBu673Qgt8TjTPxhexYDbzN5GbVFy6yegRbxruUrHAvz4ts33WU_YzreR16rLgJW_15s7RCE4-3QJY5DKwHTNQ0H7jQPRZ1aOLm6aMOg/s4032/72B917E1-E6FD-456F-9AC2-53D64FD1E3FE.jpeg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="4032" data-original-width="3024" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjeTnOUD_wqp3Q_EAgTEzTgRXk9TLbUv7rBu673Qgt8TjTPxhexYDbzN5GbVFy6yegRbxruUrHAvz4ts33WU_YzreR16rLgJW_15s7RCE4-3QJY5DKwHTNQ0H7jQPRZ1aOLm6aMOg/s320/72B917E1-E6FD-456F-9AC2-53D64FD1E3FE.jpeg" /></a></div></blockquote></blockquote></blockquote></blockquote></blockquote><div><br /></div><div>I realize it is not a closeup, but it is the same view of above, but a larger portion of the pattern showing. Trust me, even if you cannot see it all, there are A LOT of symbols in that section. This is where "hot mess" comes into play. This is where the symbols are all over the place and you must stay close to the pattern and pay close attention to the detail or you will make a lot of mistakes in the picture being created. </div><div><br /></div><div>Notice what happened to me in the following picture.... I was off by ONE stitch and had to take out most of that color I had been working on. That area was one of the easiest on which to pay attention to the pattern! I had gotten a little too comfortable in the pattern and it had to be corrected...and it was not fun to pull out all of those stitches and do it again. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjjVo2VNHlKj9tybU1J45eXejl-nHa6gsSEQiB1KmiVOi0S2CHvbJhF9ppNmJq4Nt5lOcmxgFg08V9k632jWszKEDOMf5nzyeO-nL5wQP0VqGSa-OdvNSvD3XOLHTNCXXO3z8it8g/s4032/crossstitch+messup+in+April+2020.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="4032" data-original-width="3024" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjjVo2VNHlKj9tybU1J45eXejl-nHa6gsSEQiB1KmiVOi0S2CHvbJhF9ppNmJq4Nt5lOcmxgFg08V9k632jWszKEDOMf5nzyeO-nL5wQP0VqGSa-OdvNSvD3XOLHTNCXXO3z8it8g/s320/crossstitch+messup+in+April+2020.jpg" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="text-align: left;">But I did it.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="text-align: left;"><br /></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Since I have spent a lot more time on this cross-stitch this year, I began viewing the uniqueness of this pattern differently and more positively.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">I always knew from the start this pattern would be a challenge. The way the finished picture was shown when I ordered it in 2011 just took my breath away because it was so vibrant and full of life. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">I am learning that if I take it a stitch at a time, I will begin to view the pattern coming alive before me instead of getting frustrated at what I cannot get done quickly.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">I have learned since 2011 that I require reading glasses to help me see the stitches better than when I began.... and have even had to increase my strength to a higher level this year! </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">I still have to use <b>a lot </b>of light to help me see the pattern and material/thread better. I also have to focus more on what the pattern is telling me to do and not rush. When I rush through, I make more mistakes.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">I have had to realize that my mistakes can be seen positively as a way to rework something that needed to be better and to trust that it will work out right. Sometimes the removing of the thread allows me to view that area of the pattern with more care. <i>(This can even apply when your cat decides to chew the thread just made up for ONE stitch and then swallows the needle attached to it.....and has to have emergency surgery.)</i></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><i><br /></i></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">I am seeing more and more that as my hands hold the fabric and maneuver the needle I am creating something that changes and grows. There really is beauty to behold with each move of the needle.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">I have also begun seeing that the constant changing of colors is actually a positive thing. Even though it can be frustrating at times, when I see it through the "one stitch at a time" approach, as mentioned above, I am able to enjoy where I am for that stitch and then see how the other stitches come along soon to create the whole area of beauty. The different hues really do add more depth and richness to the completed work.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Can you see the hues and different shades in the following pictures?</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"> </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhgYizenaF3_G5nMhasNp-LPqW22viX6z8-EHklkWT-qxnNXlwZXuHEE2WyChm0tmSjBzNYHhgTHUMLm91fB1NgQkkif7nUkM0JmTb2Dwx62XgmKAsYNAZmgd_I89-Uvwn6NbMeBQ/s4032/21BD0A16-C796-4B2E-B009-89BD5EE38200.jpeg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="4032" data-original-width="3024" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhgYizenaF3_G5nMhasNp-LPqW22viX6z8-EHklkWT-qxnNXlwZXuHEE2WyChm0tmSjBzNYHhgTHUMLm91fB1NgQkkif7nUkM0JmTb2Dwx62XgmKAsYNAZmgd_I89-Uvwn6NbMeBQ/s320/21BD0A16-C796-4B2E-B009-89BD5EE38200.jpeg" /></a></div></div><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px;"><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px;"><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px;"><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px;"><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWdDJ8sUZYOrdsvbh_CEnHV0PlRHROzgsI-tuAeV9-auowJMnCvvVMnlaKkZAZ2u9dVy5BSfLLg-56xoVMNVTlbKImw4UwQ98AvAMAwYIeiI3HpYwoBmdsxVZsWZR3txkpGhpAaw/s4032/587425F1-4B1F-44D6-BDF5-5ECD78642216.jpeg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="4032" data-original-width="3024" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWdDJ8sUZYOrdsvbh_CEnHV0PlRHROzgsI-tuAeV9-auowJMnCvvVMnlaKkZAZ2u9dVy5BSfLLg-56xoVMNVTlbKImw4UwQ98AvAMAwYIeiI3HpYwoBmdsxVZsWZR3txkpGhpAaw/s320/587425F1-4B1F-44D6-BDF5-5ECD78642216.jpeg" /></a></div></div></blockquote></blockquote></blockquote></blockquote></blockquote><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Now, you may be thinking - "Thanks, Kellie - great job explaining how you cross-stitch, but how is this seeing 2020? How is this pertinent to someone who really does not care about cross-stitch?"</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Well, please stay with me. I pray from point forward in my writing that the Lord will use this to see how all of this compares to 2020.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">This next picture is a close-up of the previous backside picture from above. This picture seems to capture 2020 for me - a chaotic "hot mess" with no organization or neatness. This year has been hard for <b>everyone</b>. I have personally felt that the backside of my cross-stitch has become reality and my true picture is no more. What has always been normal will never be normal again. I do not think it an accident that I decided THIS year to start diving more into this specific cross-stitch again. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div></div><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px;"><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjgAMcWjUT5jvnUUXcKCBGgtp_lTEZJDlT8frAyPtaxtZT74LCsrj2zVIZFfUgiYPbIq0wdqCJmoyWEE-UYxrZIYOVwrhrQac5luhlh6-oTTO485-tUr0NsK5qwArXY5DExKO423g/s5472/crossstitch2020+02.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="3648" data-original-width="5472" height="333" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjgAMcWjUT5jvnUUXcKCBGgtp_lTEZJDlT8frAyPtaxtZT74LCsrj2zVIZFfUgiYPbIq0wdqCJmoyWEE-UYxrZIYOVwrhrQac5luhlh6-oTTO485-tUr0NsK5qwArXY5DExKO423g/w500-h333/crossstitch2020+02.jpg" width="500" /></a></div></div></blockquote></blockquote><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Here is how the Lord has been helping me see 2020 <i>through the stitches.</i> </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">I do not think anyone ever thought 2020 would THIS kind of a challenge. The way I finished 2019, I was looking forward to new beginnings and thinking of all the Lord would show me through the year. If you have read my blog long enough you saw that I wrote a blog about "shedding old wool" at the end of 2019. At the time, I thought I had shed plenty, but it seems this year has revealed I had a lot more to shed.....well, more like, rip out!<i> (If you want to read or reread that post, it is <a href="https://skwmjustme.blogspot.com/2019/12/shedding-old-wool.html" target="_blank">here</a>.) </i>I am all for a challenge and learning new things like this cross-stitch pattern above, but, wow.... this year takes that to a whole new level. I can honestly say I have <b>never</b> experienced a year like this!</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">As all of this craziness began, I understood more deeply I would have to find my CENTER in Christ and COUNT on Him in ways I never thought before.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">I have had to see that there is beauty in the "backside" of 2020. When I felt I lost control, nothing was neat and tidy anymore, and everything was chaos is when the Lord took my hand and began to teach me more and more that He brings "beauty out of ashes, the oil of joy for mourning." (Isaiah 61)</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">I have <b><u>had</u> </b>to begin viewing the uniqueness of this year differently and more positively. I have had to have "stronger reading glasses" as I search the Scriptures to find out how to navigate through the 2020 pattern. Believe me - it still stinks in a lot of ways and it does not always mean I am enjoying what has been happening, but I am learning to view it with more detailed vision - through the eyes of the Creator - and see each stitch as another beautiful filling in of the <b>LIFE</b> the Lord has planned for me.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">I am learning to take life <b>one-STEP-at-a-time</b> in the way I have to take each-stitch-at-a-time in my cross-stitch. I am trying to literally walk each moment with the Lord showing me what I need for that specific moment. I do not want to get so caught up in "knots" of worry, getting frustrated, or complaining by trying to get through a hard part of life more quickly. That never ends well and wastes valuable time of moving forward.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">I have been using even more <b>LIGHT from Scripture</b> to help me understand the pattern the Lord has planned for my life. His Word guides best and I have been clinging to that with all I have in me. I also have to focus more on what God's Word is showing me so that I make more careful moves in my pattern of life.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">I have had to realize that my mistakes are ways to rework things in me that needed to be better and to trust that it will work out right. The Lord has had to remove some of the incorrect "thread" I have been sewing in the fabric that has not followed the pattern He has for me: the worry, complaining spirit, and unneeded anger. This has allowed me to view those emotions more carefully through Scripture in these strange times of our "2020 pattern". </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><i><br /></i></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">I am seeing more and more that my Heavenly Father holds the fabric of my life and maneuvers the needle ever so carefully to create something in me that <b>changes</b> and <b>grows</b>. There really is beauty to behold with each move of the needle. Just as I have to be careful to not leave the needle lying around for a cat to swallow, I have to take my steps confidently while using the common sense I have learned over time to keep me <i>(or others)</i> spiritually, mentally, and emotionally safe. And I have to remember, that just like my cross-stitch does not get done without me there holding it and working the needle, so is my Heavenly Father doing the same in the pattern of my life. He never lets me go but carefully weaves the moments and times of my life to create more of Him and less of me. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">I have had to learn that the constant change experienced in 2020 is actually a positive thing and does not have to be a "pain". There have been things I have had to learn in the changes that created different hues in my life that added more depth and richness to who I am in Christ. Even though it can still be frustrating at times, I have to remind myself to see it through the "one step at a time" approach, as mentioned above. Then, I am able to enjoy where I am for that step and then see how the Lord guides me into new steps that will reveal a new beauty from the Lord in my life.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">I could have given up on this cross-stitch pattern a long time ago - and believe me, there were times! I could have decided it was just too difficult and would require too much of me to keep going. But I have learned that the struggle in all of this is what will make this beautiful piece so much more meaningful and majestic.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">I could have given up on 2020....there have been and may still be times I want to do so. But 2020 has taught me more about staying close to the pattern of God's Word, struggling and growing to become more rich in the Lord, and being confident that He is holding the needle, thread, and fabric of my life. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">As you see the picture below, it is of the "latest" in my cross-stitching. There are still a lot of blank spaces and I have a long way to go before I am finished, but it just reminds me constantly that the Lord is not finished with me - or any of you - yet. He's growing and changing us <b>one stitch at a time</b>.</div></div></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgwSqc19xg7bfqpbTx4JeLK0lx6W_UtjYgz1mieb_uZ-sUUscGq2lwr9vefsyc1vrgACQKZbJa6Bdmv3BKlkYbjUHYcrJBqXbJpYaYW6oJx25JFQOqwKqHFbBx5aERdxp2bYU7_1g/s5472/crossstitch2020+01.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="3648" data-original-width="5472" height="333" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgwSqc19xg7bfqpbTx4JeLK0lx6W_UtjYgz1mieb_uZ-sUUscGq2lwr9vefsyc1vrgACQKZbJa6Bdmv3BKlkYbjUHYcrJBqXbJpYaYW6oJx25JFQOqwKqHFbBx5aERdxp2bYU7_1g/w500-h333/crossstitch2020+01.jpg" width="500" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption"><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><font color="#b51200">Psalm 37:23-24 (CSB)</font></div><div style="text-align: center;"><font color="#b51200"><b>A person’s steps are established by the Lord,</b></font></div><div style="text-align: center;"><font color="#b51200"><b>and he takes pleasure in his way.</b></font></div><div style="text-align: center;"><font color="#b51200"><b>Though he falls, he will not be overwhelmed,</b></font></div><div style="text-align: center;"><font color="#b51200"><b>because the Lord supports him with his hand.</b></font></div></td></tr></tbody></table>Kelliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05667053558748094010noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19341072.post-3285849315847785962020-04-03T20:00:00.000-04:002020-04-03T20:00:00.697-04:00The Quarantine Crush....no, I am not talking about a new game app that everyone is playing....<br />
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I have kind of been feeling "crushed" in this quarantine as of late. In talking to friends/family or seeing so many responses of people through social media, I know I am not the only one feeling this way. </div>
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As I have prayed over how I have felt, and searched the Scriptures during my moments of feeling crushed, the Lord has reminded me of some truths that I would now like to share with you all. </div>
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The Lord actually showed me this truth using grapes!</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYvtrpdNsZYiBapjQxQ9oJ4zIVGQbe_xDYAQwiA68UrMLW8LqYZhVBdcGLYdLIAgl4DjpsRu-2e-NPiFK3qDZ1b1G0VwYWDSQf-Wi6j-uN5yh1pw3LOcoxTjxTo5qUWYN_6uWOAg/s1600/mountaintrip+July+2012+016.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1067" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYvtrpdNsZYiBapjQxQ9oJ4zIVGQbe_xDYAQwiA68UrMLW8LqYZhVBdcGLYdLIAgl4DjpsRu-2e-NPiFK3qDZ1b1G0VwYWDSQf-Wi6j-uN5yh1pw3LOcoxTjxTo5qUWYN_6uWOAg/s400/mountaintrip+July+2012+016.jpg" width="266" /></a></div>
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In John 15 you will find the familiar passage of Jesus speaking of Himself as the True Vine. He used that word-picture because so many people in that day would understand the work that is put into growing grapes and in their harvesting. As the Lord began to help me uncover my spirit of feeling crushed, He revealed to me some applications from that passage:</div>
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The end result of every usable grape is to be crushed - whether by eating them or using the liquid for drink. <i>(Ever thought about that!?)</i></div>
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As grapes are attached to the vine, they are fed through the roots from the nutrients in the soil. These nutrients travel up the vine and into the fruit where, over time, the fruit ripens and is ready to be harvested. This growing process is not overnight. What does happen, though, is that the growing process allows them to become more sweet and ready to be picked.</div>
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Once the harvested grape has been crushed, one taste can quickly tell whether the grape was on the vine long enough to obtain the sweetness that is desired. </div>
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Sometimes when grapes are crushed, a bitter or sour flavor explodes. This causes regret that the grape was ever eaten or used as drink as it obviously was not ready! </div>
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But if the grape has been attached to the vine long enough, and true maturing has happened, there is a sweetness that bursts forth as the crushing occurs.</div>
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Believe me, I know we are all human and are going to have "moments" and feelings when "crushing" occur, but the Lord has taken these thoughts and opened my heart and mind to understand which grape I need to be like when crushed!</div>
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I could be like the unripe grape - not attached to the True Vine (Jesus) and become hardened and bitter because I am not getting the correct spiritual nutrients from His Word. When something or someone "crushed" me, such as how I am feeling in this quarantine, what can explode out of me is worry, unthankfulness, anxiousness, bitter words, harshness, pride, anger, self-pity, and, well - anything of a negative nature!</div>
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But if I am attached to the True Vine and taking in His spiritual nutrients from the soil of His Word, then when I am "crushed" I will burst forth with the sweetness of the Spirit inside. I will reveal the love, joy, peace, patience, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness, kindness, and self-control that is so needed every day - but especially when we are "crushed."</div>
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I don't know about you, but the Lord has made me realize how much I want to be the grape that explodes with the beautiful "flavor" of the Spirit. The ONLY way we will be able to do that is to stay close to the Vine.</div>
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<b><span style="color: #674ea7;">John 15:4-5</span></b></div>
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<span style="color: #674ea7; font-family: inherit;"><b><span class="text John-15-4" id="en-ESV-26692" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 16px;">Abide <span class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-ESV-26692I" data-link="(<a href="#cen-ESV-26692I" title="See cross-reference I">I</a>)" style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 0.625em; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;"></span>in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me.</span><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 16px;"></span><span class="text John-15-5" id="en-ESV-26693" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 16px;"><span class="versenum" style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 12px; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;">5 </span>I am the vine; <span class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-ESV-26693J" data-link="(<a href="#cen-ESV-26693J" title="See cross-reference J">J</a>)" style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 0.625em; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;"></span>you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that <span class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-ESV-26693K" data-link="(<a href="#cen-ESV-26693K" title="See cross-reference K">K</a>)" style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 0.625em; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;"></span>bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing.</span></b></span></div>
Kelliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05667053558748094010noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19341072.post-65227538079959170052020-03-25T20:06:00.000-04:002020-03-25T20:06:16.664-04:00Quarantine - Feelings In This New Normal I decided to document some things I have been feeling as we have walked through this "new normal" of our quarantine because of the COVID-19. It happened so quickly that I have found myself almost going through stages of not really knowing WHAT I was feeling. I think it is important that we document what is happening in our lives to have a record of how things are right now - right down to our emotions.<br />
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As I have previously stated in posts, I am an introvert so being quarantined is not a bad idea in my mind and heart. I can be fine just hanging out at home. What I did not realize was how I would feel when we are being told you have to really STAY HOME. I kind of feel like this calf in the picture below: "HEY....what's happening outside of my pen?"<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEja1MUhahgckNtQ-16KZNglkcc9zMtq-T9VjEsQJ-U6Hd1eoDgUWnF3UwcbsMtYL5Sh4ZCMpxO0k1i_X3TAvJRyriLDRY6okxQY_rhKx0UGr6kHtKL71ckxAtEITIaXwAvot3_N0A/s1600/AGintheclass+08.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1067" data-original-width="1600" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEja1MUhahgckNtQ-16KZNglkcc9zMtq-T9VjEsQJ-U6Hd1eoDgUWnF3UwcbsMtYL5Sh4ZCMpxO0k1i_X3TAvJRyriLDRY6okxQY_rhKx0UGr6kHtKL71ckxAtEITIaXwAvot3_N0A/s320/AGintheclass+08.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<b>Some of the "new normal" in my life right now is not very different from regular normal.</b></div>
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I am still reading God's Word daily.</div>
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I am still doing laundry and dishes. </div>
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I am still trying to keep my house clean.</div>
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I am still enjoying my reading of books and other leisure activities.</div>
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I am still trying to exercise in some way daily.</div>
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I am still teaching.</div>
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<br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVpklORva5mLGbpQZ4qWrQiEqp9egyMsmcDr5F4RGQFclpgwnKywpCchMleZCUtCKYvS03s2WX0aenbVdBnfq6G6WlLROHr6S8PQf6SV2SqWSBg_2npE4ug2fQnxIZ9D8MlJw1tQ/s1600/mountaintrip+July+2012+012.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1067" data-original-width="1600" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVpklORva5mLGbpQZ4qWrQiEqp9egyMsmcDr5F4RGQFclpgwnKywpCchMleZCUtCKYvS03s2WX0aenbVdBnfq6G6WlLROHr6S8PQf6SV2SqWSBg_2npE4ug2fQnxIZ9D8MlJw1tQ/s320/mountaintrip+July+2012+012.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<b>What I did not expect out of this "new normal" in my life right now is:</b></div>
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I feel distracted when trying to focus on the Lord and His Truths.....which has made me feel very frustrated!</div>
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I feel so emotional over not seeing my students.</div>
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I feel we have lost a lot of closure for the school year.</div>
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I feel grief over memories lost.</div>
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I feel anxious over the unknowns.</div>
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I feel anger - and a lot of times I am not sure why!</div>
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I feel unsettled in my spirit because nothing is as it was just two weeks ago and we do not know how long this will last.</div>
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I feel overwhelmed with all I hear in the news and what people post on social media <i>(including anger and conspiracy theories...)</i>.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-rtX5gzOHO7-J0XnZwiufp4QDc7WeGWhT4MN1nvIVkwjZVVt_kbXQzmARD0eN4ruxL6XgfANfKGqw1ZMkrlQ4_vslmOvn3AVWghV5ch86qx8kDEYshAmKDlvxA6Q9sy4t5pmJ3g/s1600/mountaintrip+july+2012+049.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1067" data-original-width="1600" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-rtX5gzOHO7-J0XnZwiufp4QDc7WeGWhT4MN1nvIVkwjZVVt_kbXQzmARD0eN4ruxL6XgfANfKGqw1ZMkrlQ4_vslmOvn3AVWghV5ch86qx8kDEYshAmKDlvxA6Q9sy4t5pmJ3g/s320/mountaintrip+july+2012+049.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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However, feelings are just that - FEELINGS.<br />
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We cannot trust them.<br />
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<b><i>Feelings will lead you astray faster than a wayward sheep.</i></b><br />
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<span style="background-color: yellow;">That is why the word HOPE has continued to resonate with me every new day in this quarantine. I am so grateful the Lord gave me that word for my 2020 year. </span><br />
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I may have all of those feelings I listed, but, more importantly, I have HOPE in the One Who is control of it all. That is why I can rest in Him - and not in these circumstances.<br />
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I have been clinging to different parts of Scripture - in particular, Psalm 16 and Psalm 33.<br />
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Psalm 16:5-8 has been a passage I have read often these last few days:<br />
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<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: inherit;"><b><span style="font-size: 16px;"><br /></span></b></span></div>
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<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: inherit;"><b><span style="font-size: 16px;">The </span><span class="small-caps" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 16px; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-caps: small-caps; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal;">Lord</span><span style="font-size: 16px;"> </span><span style="font-size: 16px;">is</span><span style="font-size: 16px;"> </span><span class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-ESV-14098F" data-link="(<a href="#cen-ESV-14098F" title="See cross-reference F">F</a>)" style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 0.625em; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;"></span><span style="font-size: 16px;">my chosen portion and my</span><span style="font-size: 16px;"> </span><span class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-ESV-14098G" data-link="(<a href="#cen-ESV-14098G" title="See cross-reference G">G</a>)" style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 0.625em; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;"></span><span style="font-size: 16px;">cup; </span><span style="font-size: 16px;">you hold my</span><span style="font-size: 16px;"> </span><span class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-ESV-14098H" data-link="(<a href="#cen-ESV-14098H" title="See cross-reference H">H</a>)" style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 0.625em; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;"></span><span style="font-size: 16px;">lot. </span></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 16px;"><span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: inherit;"><b>The lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; </b></span></span><b style="color: #0b5394; font-family: inherit; font-size: 16px;">indeed, I have a beautiful inheritance.</b></div>
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<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: inherit;"><b><span style="font-size: 16px;">I bless the</span><span style="font-size: 16px;"> </span><span class="small-caps" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 16px; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-caps: small-caps; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal;">Lord</span><span style="font-size: 16px;"> </span><span style="font-size: 16px;">who</span><span style="font-size: 16px;"> </span><span class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-ESV-14100J" data-link="(<a href="#cen-ESV-14100J" title="See cross-reference J">J</a>)" style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 0.625em; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;"></span><span style="font-size: 16px;">gives me counsel; </span></b></span><b style="color: #0b5394; font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: 16px;">in</span><span style="font-size: 16px;"> </span><span class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-ESV-14100K" data-link="(<a href="#cen-ESV-14100K" title="See cross-reference K">K</a>)" style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 0.625em; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;"></span><span style="font-size: 16px;">the night also my</span><span style="font-size: 16px;"> </span><span class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-ESV-14100L" data-link="(<a href="#cen-ESV-14100L" title="See cross-reference L">L</a>)" style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 0.625em; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;"></span><span style="font-size: 16px;">heart instructs me.</span></b></div>
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<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: inherit;"><b><span style="font-size: 16px;">I have</span><span style="font-size: 16px;"> </span><span class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-ESV-14101N" data-link="(<a href="#cen-ESV-14101N" title="See cross-reference N">N</a>)" style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 0.625em; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;"></span><span style="font-size: 16px;">set the</span><span style="font-size: 16px;"> </span><span class="small-caps" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 16px; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-caps: small-caps; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal;">Lord</span><span style="font-size: 16px;"> </span><span style="font-size: 16px;">always before me; </span><span style="font-size: 16px;">because he is at my</span><span style="font-size: 16px;"> </span><span class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-ESV-14101O" data-link="(<a href="#cen-ESV-14101O" title="See cross-reference O">O</a>)" style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 0.625em; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;"></span><span style="font-size: 16px;">right hand, I shall not be</span><span style="font-size: 16px;"> </span><span class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-ESV-14101P" data-link="(<a href="#cen-ESV-14101P" title="See cross-reference P">P</a>)" style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 0.625em; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;"></span><span style="font-size: 16px;">shaken.</span></b></span></div>
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The verse the Lord gave me to reflect upon in 2020 for the word HOPE is Psalm 33:22:<br />
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<span style="color: red;"><b>"Let your steadfast love, O Lord, be upon us, even as we hope in you."</b></span></div>
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<b style="background-color: yellow;">Steadfast = Faithful</b></div>
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Because the Lord is our HOPE, He is faithful to be with us through all of this uncertainty. He is faithful to take care of us during this time that has become so strange to us. <br />
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But it was never strange to the Lord.<br />
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He knew all along what this world needed at this time for 2020.<br />
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<b>HE. KNEW. </b></div>
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So while we are wrestling with a lot of feelings that are happening in our lives right now, cling to the fact that <span style="background-color: yellow;"><b>HOPE</b></span> is <b>here</b> and <b>now</b> - and it is through Jesus Christ.<br />
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As I thought on this post, I just love how the Lord pointed me to this last portion of Scripture I am sharing . I am thankful for His loving direction - even when it seems dark and full of uncertainties. <b>Trust His Word - NOT your feelings.</b><br />
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<b>Romans 5:1-5</b></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><b><span class="text Rom-5-1" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 16px;">Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, <span class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-ESV-28033B" data-link="(<a href="#cen-ESV-28033B" title="See cross-reference B">B</a>)" style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 0.625em; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;"></span>we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ.</span><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 16px;"> </span></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><b><span class="text Rom-5-2" id="en-ESV-28034" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 16px;">Through him we have also <span class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-ESV-28034C" data-link="(<a href="#cen-ESV-28034C" title="See cross-reference C">C</a>)" style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 0.625em; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;"></span>obtained access by faith into this grace <span class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-ESV-28034D" data-link="(<a href="#cen-ESV-28034D" title="See cross-reference D">D</a>)" style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 0.625em; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;"></span>in which we stand, and <span class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-ESV-28034E" data-link="(<a href="#cen-ESV-28034E" title="See cross-reference E">E</a>)" style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 0.625em; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;"></span>we rejoice in hope of the glory of God.</span><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 16px;"> </span></b></span></div>
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<span class="text Rom-5-3" id="en-ESV-28035" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 16px;"><span style="color: red; font-family: inherit;"><b>Not only that, but we <span class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-ESV-28035F" data-link="(<a href="#cen-ESV-28035F" title="See cross-reference F">F</a>)" style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 0.625em; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;"></span>rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering <span class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-ESV-28035G" data-link="(<a href="#cen-ESV-28035G" title="See cross-reference G">G</a>)" style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 0.625em; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;"></span>produces endurance,<span style="background-color: white;"> </span></b></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: red; font-family: inherit;"><b><span class="text Rom-5-4" id="en-ESV-28036" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 16px;">and endurance produces character, and character produces hope,</span><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 16px;"> </span></b></span></div>
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<span class="text Rom-5-5" id="en-ESV-28037" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 16px;"><span style="color: red; font-family: inherit;"><b>and <span class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-ESV-28037H" data-link="(<a href="#cen-ESV-28037H" title="See cross-reference H">H</a>)" style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 0.625em; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;"></span>hope does not put us to shame, because God's love <span class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-ESV-28037I" data-link="(<a href="#cen-ESV-28037I" title="See cross-reference I">I</a>)" style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 0.625em; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;"></span>has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.</b></span></span></div>
<br />Kelliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05667053558748094010noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19341072.post-75690414143884576142020-03-15T12:10:00.001-04:002020-03-15T12:10:59.798-04:00Be Still With Social Distancing With our news being filled with COVID-19 and learning precautionary steps we are to now take to help with the spread of this new virus, social distancing has stood out to me. These birds look like what I felt when I first heard it - the one on the right is me. HUH? You want me to distance myself from others?<br />
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Some people may see social distancing as a rewarding experience as they are introverted and love time to themselves. </div>
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Others may feel as if they are now on a deserted bridge with bareness all around them and emptiness invades their souls.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEily0YcDXvZJ4kFrKrsbmqvIP-cTPLA5ejNZWv3q_RDar57KJ8il2LHfzgpJ1XkHPu_BqEIWaLy55Zd1RoMzQXp5rbLWo-lb3X5Z4YZzHLK97SyBKn0Q7JYn_yBz-L52PqZjSysKg/s1600/LakeMattamuskeetDecember2014+028.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1067" data-original-width="1600" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEily0YcDXvZJ4kFrKrsbmqvIP-cTPLA5ejNZWv3q_RDar57KJ8il2LHfzgpJ1XkHPu_BqEIWaLy55Zd1RoMzQXp5rbLWo-lb3X5Z4YZzHLK97SyBKn0Q7JYn_yBz-L52PqZjSysKg/s400/LakeMattamuskeetDecember2014+028.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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Instead of seeing social distancing as something to endure, why not view it from the standpoint that we have the chance to BE STILL.</div>
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Our culture is so fast-paced today. I feel it daily and I am not involved in all of the things I see on social media sights. People are ALWAYS on the go.</div>
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I know we have had times in the winter of snow/ice here in the south that stops us from a lot of normal activity, but even then we are able to get together with neighbors/friends and play in the snow or just be together. </div>
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This social distancing is a new thing for our ears to hear. At the sound of it, many have had anxiety rise up in them because of the unknown. While we are still able to get out and about, we have to think differently about coming in contact with people right now. </div>
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And all of this has happened fast.</div>
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Being an introvert, I have welcomed this newly expected slower pace. I have been excited to not have to go anywhere in a hurry and take time to be slower. </div>
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I can understand there are those who are not feeling the same.</div>
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As I have sat and reflected on it all, I was struck by this thought:</div>
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<b><span style="color: #674ea7;">I never have to worry about being "socially distant" from the Lord. He is always near me. </span></b></div>
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<b><span style="color: #674ea7;">I may choose in my busyness or distractions of life to find myself distant from Him, <u>but He will never leave my side and always desires close contact with me.</u></span></b></div>
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This social distancing from other people will give me the opportunity to spend a closer time with the Lord. It will give me those moments for which I have been yearning in all my busyness. I am comforted by the fact that He is as close as ever and I can actually become stronger by being in His presence than by distancing myself from Him.</div>
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This year, the Lord gave me the word "Hope" as my word for the year. I was not sure where that came from exactly, as I had other words that I kept pondering. However, in recent weeks, the Lord has already shown me that this was the word I needed. </div>
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Because of what the Lord showed me for this year, I have on my mantle, and sing often in my head, the song "In Christ Alone." Here are the words for the first stanza and I think it is so fitting for where we are right now in our world. </div>
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<span jsname="YS01Ge" style="color: blue;">In Christ alone my hope is found</span></div>
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<span jsname="YS01Ge" style="color: blue;">He is my light, my strength, my song</span></div>
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<span jsname="YS01Ge" style="color: blue;">This Cornerstone, this solid ground</span></div>
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<span jsname="YS01Ge" style="color: blue;">Firm through the fiercest drought and storm</span></div>
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<span jsname="YS01Ge" style="color: blue;">What heights of love, what depths of peace</span></div>
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<span jsname="YS01Ge" style="color: blue;">When fears are stilled, when strivings cease</span></div>
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<span jsname="YS01Ge" style="color: blue;">My Comforter, my All in All</span></div>
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<span jsname="YS01Ge" style="color: blue;">Here in the love of Christ I stand</span></div>
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See this social distancing as a reminder that our Lord is ever near. We are the ones who distance ourselves from HIM. Choose this time to get back into closer contact with the One in which our HOPE is found. Just BE STILL with social distancing.</div>
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Kelliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05667053558748094010noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19341072.post-41468620491557928562019-12-28T13:38:00.002-05:002019-12-28T13:38:53.102-05:00Shedding the Old Wool <div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; caret-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); color: black; font-size: medium; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; text-align: start; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I took these photos on the same visit to the sheep farm as my previous post from September. What I learned from this sheep in particular was quite interesting and it is something on which I have thought upon ever since. </span><span style="font-family: -webkit-standard, serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">This sheep had been sick. Normally, when a sheep becomes as sick as this one, it is put down because it that is actually easier on the sheep. This one was different - this was one that through the sickness was able to survive and came out strong. I learned that the medicine the sheep needed to live reacted similar to chemotherapy given to humans today. Over time, the old wool began to release and, in time, new wool would grow. What may look repulsive is actually something wonderful. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">The Lord began to show me that this bedraggled looking sheep was actually me and you. It is a beautiful picture of what the Lord does for us as He applies the medicine of His Word to our sin-sick bodies. Our old wool - sin nature - begins to fall away and a new covering - <b><i>Jesus'</i></b> righteousness - begins to grow.</span><span style="font-family: -webkit-standard, serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">A few weeks ago, my brother and I were discussing the ending of the year. He was stating that he was glad that 2019 was coming to a close - it had been a rough year for him due to unexpected health problems. I then began to reflect back on years prior that I had also been glad to see leave. They were ones of sadness or huge change that caused my heart to faint.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">It was then that the Lord reminded me that those years were not bad in the way I was thinking. They were actually just the Lord allowing me to be the sheep pictured above. The hardships that may have come in particular years were just ways the Lord was giving me more of His medicine, His Word, to release the old sin-cursed wool I had been carrying around for so long. In His wisdom, the Lord used those years for me to become stronger in Him and not myself.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">We soon will begin the year 2020 - and a common statement with "2020" is that "Hindsight is always 20/20." It is easy to see what the Lord has done when we look back upon it, but not always easy to see when you are in the middle of it. That is where trust comes into play.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">As I reflect back on the last year, I can see more of the Lord's dosing of medication that continued to release my old wool. That sin-cursed wool will never fully be released until we see Jesus face-to-face, but I am thankful for the lessening of its heaviness and the ease of the Lord's yoke. I am reminded of these verses in Matthew 11:29-30:<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i><span style="color: red;">"Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.<span style="background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial;"> </span></span></i><span style="color: black;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i><span style="color: red;">For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”</span></i><span style="color: black;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><b><span style="color: black;">As more of my old wool was being shed, He continued to help me...</span></b><span style="color: black;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<li class="MsoNormal" style="font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">realize I have <i>need</i> of <b>nothing</b> - He provides generously and in His time.<o:p></o:p></span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">know that He will always lead me to the green pastures and still waters for my refreshment.<o:p></o:p></span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">be thankful when He alone restores my soul.<o:p></o:p></span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">trust Him to lead me even when it is dark - He never leaves my side.<o:p></o:p></span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">learn to love His rod and staff as they comfort and correct.<o:p></o:p></span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">understand that He knows what is best for me and prepares what I need ahead of time to make me stronger in Him.<o:p></o:p></span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">rest in His care.<o:p></o:p></span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">joyfully accept that His goodness and mercy are with me even now in this earthly life.<o:p></o:p></span></li>
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<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">As the year comes to a close and another one begins anew, I seek to release more old wool. I longingly want to lean closer into my Good Shepherd's arms as He carries me close to Him. I hunger to be like the sheep pictured below - resting, and chewing on the green grass of His Word as I am content in Him alone. I want to be covered with His righteousness and not my own.</span><span style="font-family: -webkit-standard, serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">In that resting, I desire to lean upon the Lord my Rock. </span><span style="font-family: -webkit-standard, serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I pray that 2020 will be a year of expectation instead of only a hindsight view. I may not know what lies ahead, but I know that my Shepherd will be there every step of the way helping me shed old wool and replacing it with NEW.</span><span style="font-family: -webkit-standard, serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
Kelliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05667053558748094010noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19341072.post-56091954184515833292019-09-12T08:00:00.000-04:002019-09-12T08:16:31.800-04:00A Blind Sheep Needing a Shepherd<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: , serif;">This is one of those posts that will be hard to put into words what the Lord actually showed me. However, what He has taught me - I feel it to my core. I am praying the words the Lord gives me will convey what He showed.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: , serif;">For the past year or so, I have been drawn to studying the names of God. I am still learning more about them, but one stood out to me so much I had to study it more. "Jehovah Rohi" - the Lord my Shepherd. This name of God means His desire to have a close and personal relationship with us. He cares for us deeply, just as a shepherd does his sheep. When my deeper studies began, I did not realize just how much I would reach out for my Jehovah Rohi.</span><b id="docs-internal-guid-05638d74-7fff-223d-8474-dbe70fd097e7" style="font-weight: normal;"></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: , serif;">As I have walked the path of my life in the last few years, I have found uncertainty was constant. I thought I was taking one day at a time and handling everything in stride with the Lord helping me through it. And, for the most part, I was.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: , serif;">Then, our children became seniors in high school and graduated. Life as I had known it for so long was changing. I was learning what was to be a new normal. Change is a part of life so this was just another growing time in the changes. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: , serif;">What I did not realize was that my new normal would cause me to wander and falter in ways I did not see coming. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: , serif;">This past summer was weird. It is the only way I know how to describe it.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: , serif;">The question that continued to echo in my heart was "Who am I now?" I knew I was still a mother, but the role was changing. It was time for the kids to move forward in their lives and I had to stand back and allow them to do so. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: , serif;">I felt like I was blindly wandering in a valley where it was dark and lonely. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: , serif;">It was then that the Lord continued to grow me in Psalm 23, which is such a familiar passage of Scripture. I began to reflect on how the Scriptures compare us to sheep. Thankfully, just as He always does, the Lord knew where my heart would wander. He knew I needed Him as my Shepherd to find me, guide me back to Him alone, and draw me closer into His arms. Here is that familiar passage for you to read:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #674ea7; font-family: , serif;">The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want.</span><span style="font-family: , serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #674ea7; font-family: , serif;">He makes me lie down in green pastures.</span><span style="font-family: , serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #674ea7; font-family: , serif;">He leads me beside still waters.</span><span style="font-family: , serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #674ea7; font-family: , serif;">He restores my soul.</span><span style="font-family: , serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #674ea7; font-family: , serif;">He leads me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake.</span><span style="font-family: , serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #674ea7; font-family: , serif;">Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. </span><span style="font-family: , serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #674ea7; font-family: , serif;">You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; you anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows.</span><span style="font-family: , serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #674ea7; font-family: , serif;">Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life, and I shall dwell in the house of the LORD forever.</span><span style="font-family: , serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: , serif;">I have read the book, <i>A Shepherd Looks at Psalm 23</i> by W. Phillip Keller. In fact, I am on my third time reading it right now. This is written from a shepherd's point of view in how he takes care of the sheep. It has enlightened my view of just how much MY Shepherd cares for and watches over me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: , serif;">For the last few years, life has been very overwhelming at times and I was weary. During the summer, I was feeling very low as I was wandering in the emotions of my heart. I know that we are not to trust our feelings as they do not always speak the truth. I can look back now on the summer and see how the Lord made me lie down in the green pastures of His Word and allowed me to drink from His still living water to restore my soul. He led me down the path of righteousness for His name's sake to reveal more of His character to me. He knew I was walking in a valley, but He was already there in front of me. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: , serif;">I began to cry out to the Lord to help me as I blindly walked this new pathway of motherhood and life. The Lord led me to this verse and it was exactly as I was feeling. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: , serif;">Psalm 42:11</span><span style="font-family: , serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: , serif;">Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise him, my salvation and my God.</span><span style="font-family: , serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: , serif;">In reading the book by Keller, I began to understand that "cast down" is a term shepherds use for their sheep when they turn over on their backs and cannot get back up. They must have their shepherd find them and set them upright or it could be dangerous. I realized I was cast down. I was struggling to get back on my feet on my own and was having no success. The tears kept coming. The feeling of loneliness and uncertainty kept invading my soul. It was then my Shepherd came to me and showed me Psalm 84. I wish I could go into all of the Psalm, as it is precious, but let me settle on these verses:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #674ea7; font-family: , serif;">Psalm 84:5-7 (ESV)</span><span style="font-family: , serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #674ea7; font-family: , serif;">Blessed are those whose strength is in you, in whose heart are the highways to Zion. </span><span style="font-family: , serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #674ea7; font-family: , serif;">As they go through the Valley of Baca they make it a place of springs; the early rain also covers it with pools.</span><span style="font-family: , serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #674ea7; font-family: , serif;">They go from strength to strength; each one appears before God in Zion.</span><span style="font-family: , serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: , serif;">Maybe like me, you need to see that passage of Scripture through a different translation to grasp it in the way the Lord opened my eyes to it when I needed it:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #38761d; font-family: , serif;">Psalm 84:5-7 (NLT)</span><span style="font-family: , serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #38761d; font-family: , serif;">What joy for those whose strength comes from the LORD, who have set their minds on a pilgrimage to Jerusalem.</span><span style="font-family: , serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #38761d; font-family: , serif;">When they walk through the Valley of Weeping, it will become a place of refreshing springs. The autumn rains will clothe it with blessings.</span><span style="font-family: , serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #38761d; font-family: , serif;">They will continue to grow stronger, and each of them will appear before God in Jerusalem.</span><span style="font-family: , serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: , serif;">As I walked my own Valley of Bacca (Valley of Weeping) this summer, the Lord taught me that through my moments of being cast down, HE, my Shepherd, came. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: , serif;">HE helped me see I lacked nothing - <i>HE was my strength.</i><o:p></o:p></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: , serif;">HE set my feet upright and brought me back to the green pastures and still waters. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: , serif;">HE allowed my tears from the valley to become refreshing springs that would allow me to come alongside and bless others along the way.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: , serif;">HE would protect me from the lies my enemy wanted me to believe and lead me to safe pastures and places to think on His Word that would grow me in Him.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: , serif;">HE would continue to anoint my head with oil so that my cup would overflow in blessings of His truths.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: , serif;">HE would follow me with goodness and mercy all the days of my life because He will never leave me or forsake me.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: , serif;">HE reminded me I am already dwelling with Him even though I am still on earth.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: , serif;"><i>HE WILL LEAD ME.</i><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: , serif;">As I continued to grasp those truths, and I still think on them daily, He helped me to see more deeply my need to follow my Shepherd and not wander on my own pathway of life. He is already there in my future and I just need to follow and trust. It does not mean that there will not be days I stumble and become cast down, but that He is always there to come to find me and set me back upright.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: , serif;">In His leading this summer, He also reminded me of a verse He gave me a year ago. It meant something different then than it does to me now. In fact, it is one I have begun clinging to and praying over as I walk this new blind pathway of motherhood and beyond.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #e06666;"><b><span style="color: #38761d; font-family: , serif;">Isaiah 42:16</span></b><span style="font-family: , serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<b><span style="color: #e06666; font-family: , serif;">And I will lead the blind in a way that they do not know, in paths that they have not known I will guide them. I will turn the darkness before them into light, the rough places into level ground. These are the things I do, and I do not forsake them.</span></b><span style="font-family: , serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: , serif;">I studied Isaiah 42 more in-depth after the Lord led me back to this verse. This whole passage of Scripture is a portion talking about the Messiah - Jesus - Our Good Shepherd. This was not a coincidence! That is why Jesus came to be our Good Shepherd. He came to lead the blind, faltering, weary, wandering sheep in a way they do not know. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: , serif;">Sheep. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: , serif;"><b><i>ME.</i></b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: , serif;">Because this became such a precious part of my summer, I felt the strong urge to find a sheep farm and go visit it. Little did I realize how hard one would be to find! I finally was able to locate one that was about an hour away from our home and went to visit it one Saturday in July. In just a short time I was able to see up close the love a shepherd has for his/her sheep. The shepherd of this flock was so kind and walked us around the property. She and her husband began their work with sheep some 26 years ago to escape the hustle and bustle of the city. I was able to photograph the sheep and see myself in them. Here is what I captured with photography in order to have a tangible view of what the Lord showed me this summer:<o:p></o:p></span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhGhEpe3tdBK62lkW9MIqScMNfIu5KYgtwF7y7ttPVo37HVHXsCdL6dm0Ciam8SnuryuKQJNKPv_mVLs8FvAAO2o2BZ1Crp3vls1DQfjt82e2649RuhOUzfjJ1_Yabi98Pi_kHuZA/s1600/Isaiah+42+16+sheep+picture+for+devotions2019.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1067" data-original-width="1600" height="425" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhGhEpe3tdBK62lkW9MIqScMNfIu5KYgtwF7y7ttPVo37HVHXsCdL6dm0Ciam8SnuryuKQJNKPv_mVLs8FvAAO2o2BZ1Crp3vls1DQfjt82e2649RuhOUzfjJ1_Yabi98Pi_kHuZA/s640/Isaiah+42+16+sheep+picture+for+devotions2019.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: , serif;">Maybe there are some of you reading this and are feeling that you are in your own valley. Some of you may be wandering away from the Shepherd without realizing it. Maybe some of you are feeling cast down and wondering when things will be right again. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: , serif;">Just know that your Shepherd is there. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: , serif;">He will lead you in paths you do not know, turn the darkness into light, and rough places into level ground. </span>These are things He does as our Good Shepherd because He does not forsake us.</div>
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<span style="font-family: , serif;">What a joy those words are to <i>this</i> sheep's heart.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<iframe allow="accelerometer; autoplay; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/kg7K0-Cd4i8" width="560"></iframe>Kelliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05667053558748094010noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19341072.post-10910740488629231082019-05-20T22:02:00.001-04:002019-05-20T22:02:12.786-04:00A Momma's Heart As They Spread Their WingsI realize I am not the only Momma who has dealt with her children graduating from High School - nor will I be the last. Yes, this is a moment I will get through and a new norm will become life.<br />
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When the Lord graciously allowed us to have these two precious ones after years of trying, I wanted to hold on tight to the moments and memories we would share. Our house became full all at once when they were born. We had to learn, like everyone else, how to do this thing called parenting. <span style="text-align: center;">I just feel like the four pictures below happened in a blink of an eye. </span><br />
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Our firsts were also our lasts at the same time. <span style="text-align: center;">Maybe that is why their High school graduation is hitting me as hard as it is? Is it because this is the first and last time we will walk this path? </span><span style="text-align: center;">Is it because I know things will change forever or is it the sentimental aspect of being their Momma? I honestly do not know. </span><br />
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I feel I must share the feelings that are welling up inside that need a place to rest. I am here to share my heart and what the Lord has taught me as I learned how to be their Momma. The days may have seemed long but those years were certainly short now that I look back on them. I missed a lot of moments having to work during the first five years of their lives, so having them come with me to school for the past 14 years has been something I have not wanted to take for granted. I am finding those memories are the hardest right now. I am going to miss them being "with" me every day.<br />
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However, the Lord is good and He has shown me that I can look back and see so many things He has taught me because of the two children He allowed us to have.<br />
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<b><i>So what has the Lord taught me through the years?</i></b><br />
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<span style="color: red;">The minute they were born I knew my life was going to be different, but I could never have dreamed by how much.</span><br />
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<span style="color: purple;">When we brought them home from the hospital, I began to realize the easiest part was carrying them before birth.</span><br />
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<span style="color: red;">Strange as this may seem, I will always miss carrying them inside of me. I had waited so long to feel those precious movements and I cherished them.</span><br />
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<span style="color: purple;">Each day made me realize how much I did not know about being a Momma.</span><br />
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<span style="color: red;">Each day <b>taught me</b> what it is to be a Momma.</span><br />
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<span style="color: purple;">They may have been twins, but they were totally different and I had to learn to figure out the best way to handle each one.</span><br />
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<span style="color: red;">When I thought I had figured them out, something would change and I would have to start over again.</span><br />
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<span style="color: purple;">Just because you are a teacher and you do know a lot about kids, you have to see things differently as a Momma.</span><br />
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<span style="color: red;">I began to learn what unconditional love is and how I should show it.</span><br />
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<span style="color: purple;">I saw myself as God's child so much differently and it gave me a new appreciation for all the Lord had done for me.</span><br />
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<span style="color: red;">When our children had to repeat Kindergarten it was actually the best thing ever even though at the time I thought it was the hardest thing I would do.</span><br />
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<span style="color: purple;">I found out repeating Kindergarten was a piece of cake compared to what was ahead of us.</span><br />
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<span style="color: red;">The Lord was always there in the younger years helping me see how He was growing our two - even though I did not fully understand a lot of it until now.</span><br />
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<span style="color: purple;">I found myself learning more about how to parent God's way instead of what I thought was the best way. In that learning, I learned more about God's love for me as well.</span><br />
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<span style="color: red;">I could not help with the Math after third grade without doing some tutoring for myself.</span><br />
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<span style="color: purple;">Fourth grade NC Projects will go down in History as the "Project to Remember".</span><br />
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<span style="color: red;">Middle School is not for the faint of heart.</span><br />
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<span style="color: purple;">I had to prepare for the Middle school years with my son more than my daughter. Whew.. hormones are something.</span><br />
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<span style="color: red;">Driving with twins at the age of 15/16 is also not for the faint of heart. I lost a lot of "9 lives" with near mailbox catastrophes. </span><br />
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<span style="color: purple;">I actually handled the driving with more grace and patience than their father. :)</span><br />
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<span style="color: red;">Your children need you more in Middle/High School than you ever thought they would in the younger years and Elementary.</span><br />
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<span style="color: purple;">Even when our teenagers had the "teenage attitude", the Lord taught me that this was the "Age of Opportunity" - every moment was a gift to use in growing them - and growing me.</span><br />
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<span style="color: red;">I realized how many idols I had in my own life when I was trying to help my teens see the idols in theirs.</span><br />
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<span style="color: purple;">Praying for your children allows <u><i><b>the Lord</b></i></u> to change them.</span><br />
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<span style="color: red;">You cannot change your teenagers with a bunch of rules. They need to know you love them for more than the following of one.</span><br />
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<span style="color: purple;">I REALLY saw how much the Lord shows grace and mercy to me every day when I saw myself in my teens.</span><br />
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<span style="color: red;">I began to see how the Lord would have me go through something and dig into His Word for a solution only to see the same Scripture would apply for the kids' troubles or needs soon after. <i>That still amazes me. </i></span><br />
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<span style="color: purple;">Struggling is a part of life. Struggles are what grow us. Struggles are good.</span><br />
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<span style="color: red;">Failure is only when you stop trying.</span><br />
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<span style="color: purple;">Do hard things - and do them alongside your children. </span><br />
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<span style="color: red;">Doing hard things with your children make memories that will last forever.</span><br />
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<span style="color: purple;">I began to fully realize that God's plan for my children was far greater than any plan I may have had.</span><br />
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<span style="color: red;">I began to let go and show them that the Lord was the One who would never leave them or forsake them.</span><br />
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<span style="color: purple;">I had to continue letting go and help them understand that while I might have advice, and I am here anytime they need me, the Lord is the One who will guide their path.</span><br />
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<span style="color: red;">It was imperative to point them to Scripture and remind them that with Christ they can do all things.</span><br />
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<span style="color: purple;">I soon realized just how much they watched my own walk with the Lord. They watched me as I spent time with the Lord. It was humbling.</span><br />
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<b><span style="color: red;">I had to <i>trust</i> the Lord that He would do abundantly beyond all that we could ask or think.</span></b><br />
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<b><span style="color: purple;">Seeing your children turn into young adults and use the gifts God has given to them is truly awe-inspiring.</span></b><br />
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<span style="color: red;">Waiting is hard, but waiting on the Lord is always the best.</span><br />
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There was nothing like having them "with" me at school for 14 years. I will always cherish the memories of rides to school (even when they made me late), seeing them around campus, times they would pop in my room in the middle of the day, and even the complaining moments of wanting to go home at the end of the day. Being a teacher's kid is hard. I loved every minute of those 14 years.<br />
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I am so grateful for all the Lord has taught me so far through my children. I know He still has so much to teach me and I desire to learn from Him. I am looking forward to the new beginnings and how the Lord will continue to work in their lives....<br />
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...until then, can someone please just pass the tissues and allow this Momma some moments of tears and sweet times of remembering? <br />
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<b style="color: purple;">When it is time to leave the nest, my Momma's heart understands that I am to let go and allow the Lord to be the wind beneath their outspread wings.</b><br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6-jjSqB5XXA4R624nu-5SYDZjihsOjXa36y4VSQJnHIiQD2pbZCZldagNJP-krUvdKbj2esgp559euWtPmJKFOgsenRj74nlSGFJ4yT_F1qlYQqVflRqBN-G3pIgi711dDBJTJg/s1600/MikaylaWesley2017+50.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><br /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6-jjSqB5XXA4R624nu-5SYDZjihsOjXa36y4VSQJnHIiQD2pbZCZldagNJP-krUvdKbj2esgp559euWtPmJKFOgsenRj74nlSGFJ4yT_F1qlYQqVflRqBN-G3pIgi711dDBJTJg/s1600/MikaylaWesley2017+50.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><br /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6-jjSqB5XXA4R624nu-5SYDZjihsOjXa36y4VSQJnHIiQD2pbZCZldagNJP-krUvdKbj2esgp559euWtPmJKFOgsenRj74nlSGFJ4yT_F1qlYQqVflRqBN-G3pIgi711dDBJTJg/s1600/MikaylaWesley2017+50.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><br /></a>Kelliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05667053558748094010noreply@blogger.com0