08/10/08

The first picture is another tractor pic. :) These are the gages you can see through the steering wheel. I just love the details of tractors. lol


This second picture is a bud of portulaca. They are quite teeny. They almost remind me of miniature rosebuds.

Today was a good day. We went to church and then we finally got some rain. It was wonderful to see. Our grass looks like a hay field.... and sounds like one, too!!

Our Pastor spoke on trust today. He spoke from John 6 where Jesus fed the five thousand men (not including the women and children) on five loaves and two fish. Talk about trust! It was yet another "lift" to my soul to help me to see I need the Lord daily and I have to trust in His "everlasting arms" that are holding me up. In fact, Wesley and Mikayla's devotion tonight dealt with just that... having faith and trust that God is going to take care of you no matter what. I am so thankful for the Lord's timing in how He presents things for us to hear and see. I have learned more about trust since Mom was so sick three years ago. I used to try to solve all problems on my own just thinking them over. Because of my "controlling" personality, I still try that, but am learning to continue to TRUST in the Lord and call on Him. It is wonderful to feel the joy of the Lord when you know you have fully put your trust in Him. I can say that truthfully because of how He has worked the last couple of days. I am so thankful for what the Lord does for me each day.

After church we went to see Isabelle and Sampson... our new kitties. I am really ready to have pets again.... I am still missing Ashes horribly. It was SO wonderful to hold those little things again. I held Isabelle most of the time and Mikayla held Sampson. I began to talk to Isabelle and say her name over and over while loving on her. Our pastor's daughter said that whenever they pick her up she cries more but with me she is content. Boy, did that make me smile. :) She even looked up at me and stared at me for a moment or two. I know this may sound silly, but I am already feeling a connection with the little thing. Sampson looks like he is going to be laid back. He is the cutest thing, too. I got to hold him a bit before we had to leave. There wasn't enough time to really spend with them today. I just can't wait until they come home. I have to act like the adult and tell the kids "We have to be patient"... "They still need their Mommy,too."... when all the while I want to run over there, pick them up and bring them home so we can begin that relationship. I really think I am worse than the kids. lol

The Olympics have fully sucked me in. It is so neat to watch all peoples of the earth come together for a common goal. It makes me see continually that we are ALL made in the image of God. What wonderful abilities He has given men and women from all over the world!! I have been mesmerized with the swimming, diving, and gymnastics. We have seen lots of other events as well, but those are my favorites right now. I am rooting on the USA and also seeing how much respect we should give those from other countries who have worked so hard to get where they are as well. Off to watch more gymnastics and swimming... I really hope USA does well!! :)

08/09/08

Here is another tractor picture for my blogging friend, Rhonda. She wanted me to show more tractor pictures because her husband collects vintage tractors. I am going to try to post one a day for a bit of time. We'll see if I remember. lol


This next couple of pictures is of portulaca. This is a flower that I remember vividly from childhood because Mom grew it all of the time. It is drought resistant which is good around here! I took these a few weeks back. I have closeup pictures of these flowers that I will be posting later as well.


I was able to get quite a bit accomplished this morning and feel like I can "put a check in the box" on some things that were "on my back." I worked on some things for school and began to get my mind straight on some changes I'll make in the classroom.

I take a while to "chew" on something until I get it figured out. I had an issue that I really needed resolved with my classroom and I kept praying for the Lord to help me through the thought process and to get what I needed accomplished. He continues to be faithful to me even in something trivial, but big to me.

This afternoon after I did the things for school and cleaned, I took Mikayla out for some "girl time." She had worked very hard on all of her summer "stuff" they can do for school and completed all of them. I wanted to reward her for a job well done. She was so excited and loved being with just me. She told me again that she was quite sad she was not going to be in my class. I kept telling her she was going to have a great year with the teacher she is going to have and that she would be glad she didn't have to deal with "Teacher Mrs. Fowler" and then turn around and be with "Mommy." I know I would be tougher on them if I had them... and I wouldn't want to be unfair to them. Well, she said "I would not care that you were tougher.... I would love you anyway." That was so sweet. I just needed to tape record it for the teenage years!!! As I was out with her I began to get a lump in my throat. She is so precious to me and that maturity and sweetness that is coming from her just makes my heart take a leap. I still am amazed at how quickly they are growing up.

Mr. Wesley finalllllllllly finished his summer things this afternoon. We had to "light some fires" under him but he did it. I'll take him for his "date" tomorrow or the next day. Actually, he really wants to play golf with Steve, I think, than be on a "date" with me. lol BUT... that is natural and I won't say anything if that is what he wants to do. I am just thankful we made it through that summer "stuff." ha!!

We are having some friends from church over tonight. We'll probably watch the Olympics. The wife of our friends is from China so I know she is proud of her country's display. I hate we missed the Opening Ceremonies last night when we went to the ballgame.

I need to close with Isaiah 40:31 today. I know I have put it on here many times before, but this is one of my life verses. It embodies what I felt yesterday and this morning as well as keeps my eyes focused on where it should be for the school year to come.

But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.

08/08/08

I don't believe I have shown this daylily before. If I have... please forgive me. :)

I just HAD to post a little something on this neat dated day. Isn't that the neatest thing that it is 08/08/08? I read online that Clay Aiken's whatever she is had their baby today at 8:08 this morning. Now what are the odds of that happening?

Busy day at school. I am always amazed at how much needs to get done and how much I keep having to do which always gets me behind.

The students found out who their teachers were today. I wonder what some of my students thought when they found out I was their teacher? I have the reputation of being the "mean" or "strict" teacher. lol I even had a parent tell me of another child at her church that said she definitely didn't want me. lol I just have to laugh at all of that because beneath my "mean" exterior is a teacher who loves teaching and having fun with her students. They'll learn soon enough.

Tonight we went to see the Durham Bulls play. I am not a huge fan of major/minor league baseball but it was neat for the family to go. The only ones I am really interested in are the Yankees and that is because my Dad loves them and so does Steve. It was a nice night out weather wise, though. We had three teenage sisters sitting in front of us that acted, well, ridiculous. Steve said to me he would hate to know those were his daughters. One of them kept biting the other ones as well as act seriously and beyond immature. That one also text messaged pretty much the entire game. I must say I was amazed at how quickly she typed out her messages. It takes me forever just to find the letters on the right keys. ha! Those girls made me realize yet again that I am thankful the Lord is helping Steve and me with the rearing of our two!!!

The Bulls won, by the way.

I need to get to bed. It is amazing how quickly the tiredness comes back even though you had the whole summer off. lol :)

08/07/08

These pictures are of geranium buds. I thought they turned out quite neat. I haven't taken any pics of the geraniums after they have bloomed, though.... maybe I should do that! I continue to be amazed at the details I am seeing in God's Creation. If you click on these pics you can see the "fuzz" around the buds. I never noticed that before I took the pics.


Today I started back to school. The kids don't come until next Wednesday... these are just my orientation days. It was pretty good and it was nice to see everyone again. It is fun to see everyone look more rested because in a few weeks we won't look like that. lol

I am still finding myself looking for Ashes. I did it again when I walked through the door after school today! I also missed her when I was getting ready this morning. She used to always get up with me and would lay by the door until I went to get the kids up. I know it will get better in time but I think it will take a while.

Steve got me teary-eyed this morning. When we were all leaving I looked and saw the main kitchen window blind drawn up like we used to do it for Ashes before we left. Then, I looked down and saw one of the kitchen chairs turned sideways beside the window. This was what we did every morning before we left for work/school so that Ashes could watch the birds. My heart sank and I had no idea what was going on.... then comes Steve with her little bed in his hand. He said he was doing that in honor of Ashes today. It was so sweet but caused me to cry the whole way to work. (lol.... I can laugh now even though I have tears in my eyes as I type. lol ) He'll never know how much that meant to me. I will say, though, the picture below says more than words can say.


I'll truly not try to go on and on about losing Ashes in my posts. Please bear with me as I go through my grieving process. I look back on when we lost Freckles, our other cat, who died right before the kiddos were born. I think it was a bit easier to handle that because I then poured double love onto Ashes. Right now, there is an emptiness that will not be filled for a few weeks until the new kitties are able to come. Being at school today really helped with that, though, so I am thankful.

I want to thank all of you who sent kind words. One of my friends left the comment about how God was so tender and knew we would need to know about the kittens because He saw the whole picture. How true. I am so thankful I serve a God who loves me so much He would get plans working on the other kittens and care over my grief for a cat!!

On another note....

Last night I finished reading the Little House on the Prairie books. I have read them for around 2 years now... and we will miss Laura and her family! lol The kids were also sad we had finished those books. I bought the set of The Chronicles of Narnia yesterday so we'll start that tonight. I really hope the kids enjoy those. Can't wait to start the first one in a few minutes.

Well, I have a calendar to plan so off I go. Have a great evening!

08/06/08 pt.2

I decided to post this tractor pic to go along with the theme I have had the past few days. I like to try to think out of the box and this was one of those tries. Y'all know we love tractors around here! Our friend up the road has quite a few tractors and I photographed them a month or so ago. I will try to show more later. :)


Today has been hard. Thankfully, one of my best friends and her daughter came over and we went to lunch and did a small amount of shopping. It was a good way to keep my mind off of losing Ashes, but when I walked in the door, it hit me again. I was expecting to see her sitting on our bed, or on the floor. I have found myself thinking I see her out of the corner of my eye and turn to look at her, but she isn't there. I know it was time but my heart isn't understanding that very well.

I thought I'd take the kids up this morning to see our "new kitties" and check on them. I thought it might make me feel a bit better. They made me smile, but they I soon found could not take away the void left by Ashes. They will definitely become a new part of my heart, but they can never replace her!

The kids have handled Ashes' passing quite well. They keep telling ME not to cry. Of course, they didn't watch Ashes grow up and nurture her in the way we did. She was 6 when they were born and stayed under the bed the first 6 years of their life. lol She would only come out when they napped or went to bed at night. In fact, she still held that "tradition" until recently.

Tomorrow I head back to school. I can't believe my summer is gone. I will say that I had a restful one and the stress I felt at the end of last year has subsided. I am trying to look at this year as a new opportunity. Daddy reminded me the other day that I needed to be thankful I have a job and the health in which to do it. He is so right. God has blessed me with the gift of teaching and I will use it to glorify Him. It is not me, but Him through me.

I had all of these thoughts I was going to write about my summer and the beginning of school but all of that has slipped my mind now with what happened to Ashes. I haven't been able to think very clearly today and I know it is partly because of no sleep last night. Maybe tomorrow I'll get philosophical again. lol

Steve was going to have to work late but he called and said the meeting was cancelled. We'll still go on with our plans of a movie/picnic in the middle of the den floor. Great family time on my last night before school. I hope I sleep better tonight, too.

08/06/08

She's gone....



Last night, from the time Steve got home from work till around 10:30 or so, she went downhill even faster than she has been going. She has not eaten in about two weeks...just had no desire. I would take her to the food bowl but she wouldn't eat. I think it caught up with her. She began to have trouble walking and was doing really strange things. I didn't sleep much last night knowing what today was going to bring. It was exactly three weeks ago today we found out what she had. It took her quickly.

My heart is breaking but I didn't want her suffering. I feel a void this morning.

I'll try to post something else later today....

08/05/08

The first picture today is of a barn lock. I took it over Spring Break when we went with my Dad on a farm call. I love details of things so this was just an old rustic detail of a barn.


I went to school today and worked on some things. Got more to do tonight... stuff that has to be done but you don't want to take the time at school to get it done! lol

I have included pictures of my old and new chair. My parents last year gave me a new black chair as my end of the year gift. They said my old burgundy one had "had it" and needed to GO! I was very surprised and thankful. A new chair is something I was thinking I had needed, but because I try to be content and don't like spending money, I just dealt with the old one.

Mikayla helped take the pictures of me IN the chairs for posterity. My old burgundy chair has been with me all of my teaching career.... 13 years. Steve found this chair for me at an office building where he used to work. Part of why I didn't get one before now is because it was FREE before and because Steve had gotten it for me. Remember: I AM SENTIMENTAL even when its bad. lol Y'all also know I can't handle change very well but this is one change I am happy about. lol Excuse the mess in my room.... I make a serious mess while getting things ready for school to start. It will all be clean by next Tuesday. :) I just had to get these pictures done because I will not have the space or need for two desk chairs. lol Also... excuse the way I look... we were doing these pics fast because we had to get to another destination! lol

Ye old sentimental burgundy chair. For those of you that have had me as a teacher, you should know this chair quite well....

Check out the areas of "oldness."

The new chair! This thing sits SO nicely. I didn't realize how badly my other chair sat until I sat in this one. lol
Chillin' in the new chair....

Speaking of me and change.... I realize I still have issues with that from time to time. Y'all remember me crying over the tree they tore down to make our new bridge on Penny Rd. this past spring. (By the way.... the bridge looks like it is going to take on more curves... what we thought was going to be a temporary bridge to repair/replace the old one is actually the new bridge! Morgan.... you're gonna love more curves when you get back to NC!!!) Anyway, I was told of some changes that will take place at school this year. Not major ones, but still changes. Usually I have to chew on things a while before I come to grips with the change. Well, I was so thankful to the Lord for how He has helped me grow in this area because when I heard about the changes I handled it better and even shocked myself! God is so good to constantly work on me and help me to be better through Him. I realize this doesn't mean I won't have other moments in the future, but I was blessed by the Lord for how He helped me handled these. lol

OK... here are the pics of the kittens I was going to show yesterday. We are still undecided about the little guys name, but leaning to either Manteo or Sampson. I want to thank all of those who have given input... y'all had some great names!!! These little things are just a little over a week old. I am loving how cute and small they are. Mikayla looks sad in the one picture but she really wasn't. I think someone was talking to her. We were in our Sunday clothes so the kids learned quickly how fast a kitten can cling to you and possibly cause a pick in your clothes. Thankfully, we left there still as neat as we were when we got there. lol

The Mama's name is "Nilla"... she had eight kittens. Look how cute they are!

Mikayla is holding one of the little guys.... this may be the one we get. She had four that looked exactly alike!

This will be "Isabelle".... or "Izzy" for short. She is calico. Not a great picture but I was trying to take a picture of her and not drop her at the same time.

Off to work on writing names, names, and more names.... :)