Bloom Where You're Planted

If you have read my blog long enough, or know me personally, you know that one of my photography loves is capturing flowers.  They amaze me and their details capture my heart.

These flowers pictured below were growing in an area of our barns leftover from the farm.  They were not growing in great soil - in fact, it was where dirt had washed up on old cement near the feeding trough and barns which held the cows after milking.  I noticed them one day recently and it both shocked me and filled me with joy.

To see them blooming in such a "desolate" place was exciting.  To know that they were still growing and blooming even in horrible conditions was an encouragement.

I knew I had to capture them.  I knew I had to photograph the details of beauty even in an area that is less attractive than others I have photographed.

As I began photographing them the Lord began giving me the thoughts I am going to share.  He began to show me as I saw up close what conditions these flowers were in that I can be just like these flowers.

I can bloom where I am planted.

So many times in our lives, and I can look back on MANY occasions in my own life, we want to have the "perfect soil", the "perfect circumstances" and everything to be just as WE want it with cushions, luxury, and beauty.

We want the carefully nurtured soil of life.

We want the gently planted areas with plenty of nutrients and an area that gets the best balance of sun, rain, and rich soil.

We like life to be predictable....OUR version of predictable.

Sometimes, though, God plants us in situations that are ugly.  

They seem infertile.  

They are not attractive.

They get too much sun.

They get too much rain.

They get too much darkness.

They get too much drought.

They can just be downright HARD.... like the hard soil from which these beautiful flowers were springing.

God's grace has placed us right where we need to be in our lives and wants us to BLOOM where we are planted.

Sometimes its that fertile and well-cared for soil.

But most of the time - it's that neglected soil.

The reason He places us there is to GROW us through the adversity.  To realize that what WE see as infertile is exactly the ground where God's grace pours out on us so that we can bloom right where He has us.

The job that you hate and you struggle to complete the work days.

The class in school we hate.

The marriage that is falling apart.

The friendship that is struggling.

The health problem that consumes us.

The hardship of rearing children.

The dysfunction of a family relationship.

....and any other hard, infertile soil of LIFE in which you may find yourself.

We want to fight it.  We want to say "REALLY, God?"  After all I have tried to do for You and You want me HERE!?"

And He answers, "Yes."

Why?

He sees a pride issue in us.

He sees where we have gotten comfortable in our surroundings and we are not looking to HIM for growth, but the ease of our circumstances.

His grace is seeing the bigger picture of our lives.

His grace sees so much more that we could be or do, but because of our complacency we are not really blooming as much as we should in that fertile soil.

So He places us in that barrenness so that we will look to the LIGHT of the World - Jesus, seek the Living Water, and find nutrients that can only come from His Word so that we might grow and BLOOM where we are planted.

I can look back on life and see times He has taken me to the infertile soil and planted me.  It was not fun.  I became angry at the situation in which He placed me and fought Him (or the circumstance that surrounded being there) because I was convinced it was wrong that I was there!!   HOWEVER.... it forced me to see I could not grow on my own - I was dependent on HIM to grow and not because of my "perfect" surroundings.

I grew more in those infertile soil areas and they became a cherished time for me.  I saw blossoms come forth from my Christian Walk that were never there before in the perfect surroundings.

When He brought me out of the infertile soil and I began to be in the "perfect" soil again, I found that I missed the hard ground.  I missed the struggle - because I began to realize that I grew the MOST when I had to depend on HIS Light, HIS Water, His Nutrients - His Word.

I actually MISSED the hard ground.

I realized that because of the Lord planting me where I did not want to be, He actually allowed me to bloom so much more for Him.

SO... the next time you are struggling with a hard situation.

The next time you want to ask God "Why am I planted HERE?"

Just remember these flowers on the hard soil.  They are blooming even in the midst of ugliness and hardness.

They are blooming where they are planted by God.  He makes no mistakes and there is always a purpose in His plantings.

He is the Master Gardener.

A Chance to Die

I love looking at tombstones.

It may be weird, but I am fascinated by the lives of those written and how long one may have lived.

I feel the excitement of seeing someone who lived to be quite old and I feel the mother's loss of someone who died so young.

When we were at Carolina Beach this summer we went to a local garden which had an old church on the premises.  We were once again drawn to the graveyard next to the church.

I stumbled across this grave and it has spoken to me since.  It was of a set of girls who were young.  Sisters who died close together in dates.  My Mother's Heart was saddened as I thought of the parents and how they felt when they buried their loved ones.

The part that spoke to me the most was what the inscription said underneath the dates of their deaths:

How appropriate, especially in their grief, for the family to state "Truly, in the midst of life we are in death."  

I am sure that many people faced death long ago so much more often than we do in our day.  It was such a part of life from the young to the older.  There were no antibiotics or other medical means in which to save a life as we have today. Even though we still experience death and it is painful, we do not have face it as often as they did.  It truly was such a part of their daily lives.

As I began to muse over that statement, though, it took me to another place.

A spiritual place.

In our life, there must be death of ourselves so that the life of Christ may shine through.  So, truly, in the midst of this life we ARE in death.

The death of ourselves.

I have been reading a lot this summer, as I always desire to do.  In my readings, I am learning more and more about my sin nature and how I must die to it daily.

Unfortunately, that is a daily battle.


What exactly does it mean to be living but be in death at the same time?

Does it mean I am to walk around with a sad look on my face?

Does it mean I am never to have joy or fun times?


No.  


It means just what I wrote above - a daily, continual death of MY thoughts, MY desires, MY wants.

We have this nature inside of us that is determined to get what IT wants and doesn't want to think of what the Lord really wants out of our lives.

The "IT" could be something as simple as a grumble about something not going our way and getting really upset in a situation to demanding what I want and what I need ... or so I think.


How can I be in the midst of life yet die... to myself?


I recently read a short biography of Amy Carmichael, missionary to India in the late 1800's to early 1900's.  It wet my appetite enough that I am searching for a more in-depth biography of her life.  Something in that book made me stop and think about that tombstone above.  You see, Amy Carmichael was born Irish and she had the quick wit and bit of a smart mouth to prove it.  The Lord began to show her that HER ways of handling things were not always the best.

I love this quote the best from the biography I read.  The context was Amy's dealings with a "stuffy old woman" who was sticking her nose in where it did not need to be:

"Amy's Irish temper flared up in a moment.  She wanted to burst out, 'You stuffy old woman! You probably never had a day of fun in your life!  If being a 'true lady' means being like you, I hope I never have to become one!'  But the words never left her mouth.  A voice spoke to her heart, so clearly that it was as if someone were standing by her side, but she knew that the voice came from inside her heart.  'See in this a chance to die,' it said."

"See in this a chance to die."

Those words have stuck with me and the Lord has already brought them to my mind many times.

Die to self.

Die to your own desires.

Die while you are still living so that you will have greater life.

When you want to make that smart remark, see in this a chance to die.

When you want to get even, see in this a chance to die.

When you want to get angry and hold a grudge, see in this a chance to die.

When you want to have your own way, see in this a chance to die.

When your pride wants control, see in this a chance to die.

I love how The Message translates II Corinthians 4:7-12.  We are in our human form - "jars of clay", but when we realize it is Christ Who lives in us and gives us what we need to die to self daily, we benefit all the more:

 7-12 If you only look at us, you might well miss the brightness. We carry this precious Message around in the unadorned clay pots of our ordinary lives. That’s to prevent anyone from confusing God’s incomparable power with us. As it is, there’s not much chance of that. You know for yourselves that we’re not much to look at. We’ve been surrounded and battered by troubles, but we’re not demoralized; we’re not sure what to do, but we know that God knows what to do; we’ve been spiritually terrorized, but God hasn’t left our side; we’ve been thrown down, but we haven’t broken. What they did to Jesus, they do to us—trial and torture, mockery and murder; what Jesus did among them, he does in us—he lives! Our lives are at constant risk for Jesus’ sake, which makes Jesus’ life all the more evident in us. While we’re going through the worst, you’re getting in on the best!

As the song "Touch the Sky" from Hillsong United states ~ "I found my life when I lay it down." 

See every moment in the midst of life as a chance to die to yourself.

See it as a way for these attributes of God to shine through you as you show Christ through your life:

Selfless

Truthful

Faithful

Mercy

Grace

Galatians 2:20 (NASB)

 I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself up for me.

STUCK IN......

This summer, Wesley has been working with my Daddy again at the Vet clinic.  He has been going with him on hauls, cleaning stalls, feeding the animals, digging ditches and whatever else needs to be done.  He has LOVED it.

Last week, Daddy was called to haul a couple of cows from a "farm" in a nearby county that had over 150 animals that had not been taken care of as they should.  Wesley was with Daddy on this haul and it made the local news.  We found this photo of Wesley with another volunteer on the local news web page - Wesley said there were cameras everywhere.  Many people volunteered to help rescue these neglected animals.

Wesley shared with us the story of the picture above. 

There were two cows that he and Daddy were taking to a clinic to get medical attention.  He said he couldn't believe how filthy the place was.  In the above picture you can see the stall in which the cows were living.  Wesley said it had so much waste in it that it was knee-high and that his feet would sink down in the mess.    From what Wesley understood, these cows had been living in this stall for over a year and apparently had not gotten out of it.

He said they had the hardest time trying to get them to come out of the waste and stench.  What struck me the most when Wesley was telling his story, was the fact that the cows did not want to leave that stall!  That was all they had known and they were too scared to leave it!

As Wesley was telling me this story my mind began to think of how, spiritually, we are just like that cow in the above picture. 

We are stuck in the miry waste of our...

past

 

wrong choices

sins

bad habits

...and we are running away instead of seeing God's grace saving us out of them all.  

We become so stuck by Satan with his lies of....

"You are no good because of your past."

"That wrong choice you made is something you will make over and over again...you will never be free from it."

"You really think you can let go of this sin?  It is too good!"

"Your habits are just your personality... you can't help how you were born!"

.... that we become STUCK and choose to stay in the wasted life spiritually instead of being freed to walk in newness of life.

I've been there.  We all have been.

There are still things in my life in which I am STUCK and the Lord is there with His lead rope trying to guide me out of the waste but....

...I am scared to get out of my comfort zone.

...I am scared to let go of the past.

...I am scared to trust that "out there" is better.

How can we be free?

It takes faith.

It takes understanding God loves us and does not want us staying in the wasted days of our past, our choices, the sins that overcome us, or our bad habits.

Just as Wesley and the other gentleman in the picture were trying to free the cow, our loving Savior is desiring to free us from Satan's lies and the sins that so easily keep us STUCK.

John 10:10

The thief comes only to steal, and kill, and destroy; I came that they might have life, and might have it abundantly.

So what are you "STUCK" in today?

In what part of your past, wrong choices, sins or bad habits is Satan keeping YOU stuck today?  

Is the Lord there with His lead rope of His Word trying to get you out, but you are choosing to stay in the muck and the mire?

Let the lead rope of God's Word begin to help you realize that Jesus came and died on the cross to set us FREE - to get us UNSTUCK from this world.  

What He has for us is SO much better.   We just have to trust Him.

 

May Psalm 40:1-5; 16 encourage you today to allow the Lord to help you get UNSTUCK from the pit of Satan's lies:

 (1) I waited patiently for the Lord;
And He inclined to me and heard my cry.

(2) He brought me up out of the pit of destruction, out of the miry clay,
And He set my feet upon a rock making my footsteps firm.

(3) He put a new song in my mouth, a song of praise to our God;
Many will see and fear and will trust in the Lord.

(4) How blessed is the man who has made the Lord his trust,
And has not turned to the proud, nor to those who lapse into falsehood.

(5) Many, O Lord my God, are the wonders which You have done,
And Your thoughts toward us; there is none to compare with You.
If I would declare and speak of them, they would be too numerous to count.

(16) Let all who seek You rejoice and be glad in You;
Let those who love Your salvation say continually,
“The Lord be magnified!” 

My Marriage is Broken

My marriage truly is broken.... let me explain.

Last week I began cleaning out our bedroom.

Deep-cleaning.

Something that hadn't been done in a mighty long time.  In fact, I think the last time it was really deep cleaned was when we repainted it...

YEARS AGO.

Insert reason why, here:

For the last few summers I have been busy with school projects or, like last summer, chose to spend most of my time at Jesus' feet. 

I needed that time to sit at Jesus' feet.  I needed that time of learning more of Him.

Now moving on to the topic at hand:

As I began deep cleaning our room, the Lord began working in my heart, too.

I have heard others say that a couples' bedroom should not be junky and filled with stuff as it should be your retreat as a couple.

Our bedroom was just the opposite: 

It was filled with all of the books and devotionals I have been reading.  

It was (and still can be) the stockpile of clothing needing to be folded.  

It  had so much dust in it I had an allergic reaction just thinking about cleaning.

It had photography stuff piled high.

It had clothing and shoes in various places instead of where it needed to be.

It was filled with a reflection of  a busy LIFE.

I dreaded the task.

But I knew it had to be done and I was determined that the summer would not get going too far before I tackled the job.

As I was cleaning, I began to reflect that mine and Steve's marriage had become just like our room. 

It was filled with time away from each other doing our jobs.

It was filled with responsibilities of raising the kids.

It was filled with exhaustion.

It was filled with things we didn't even realize about each other - even after being married so long.

It was filled with love, but a love that was dusty because of a busy LIFE.

That is, until the Lord began to do some deep cleaning.

Steve and I have been together for 24 years and married for 22 years.  You would think by now that we would have this marriage thing down pat and everything was going great....

Except, we are just now realizing more and more that we are two people still learning to live together and follow the Lord.

The Lord has led Steve and I to realize that we were taking each other for granted.  We had become so used to the other being there that deep down we let dust settle on our relationship.

He has revealed lies from Satan that have caused us to still trust in ourselves from time to time instead of lean on the Lord and each other.

He has shown us that we are just two broken, sinful people who are married and living together.


The Lord's deep-cleaning has been hard and there have been days where we felt the "vacuum" He was using was sucking us empty and dry.  There were days He broke us to a point where we didn't think we would ever be whole again.

BUT....

Just as I had to empty our room of all the junk and vacuum/dust areas that had been long neglected, and had to break away from some things that I didn't need anymore, God had to empty and break our marriage of ourselves in order to fill us with the pureness of Who He is and what HE wants us to be as a couple.

I think this song came out in 2014 but it wasn't until the last few months that I actually heard it and it was so fitting for what the Lord was showing Steve and I in our deep cleaning.

We are broken.  Yes.

But we are broken - TOGETHER.

The journey of marriage is lifelong.  That is why marriage is so precious.

It takes work.

I love Steve now more than ever because of the deep cleansing journey on which the Lord has taken us.  

After the Lord showed us how broken we were He allowed us to see we are stronger when we are BROKEN TOGETHER - with the Lord.

Grace ~ What is so amazing about it?

Grace.

What is so amazing about that word?

The most popular way of hearing about it in our world today is the song "Amazing Grace" that is so overwhelmingly sung... but not always practiced.

Amazing Grace!
How sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me
I once was lost but now am found,
Was blind but now I see

'Twas Grace that taught my heart to fear
And Grace my fears relieved
How precious did that grace appear
The hour I first believed

Amazing grace, indeed.

We want grace.

We expect grace to be shown.

BUT.

Do we really understand and grasp "GRACE?"

The definitions of grace:

mercy; clemency; pardon:  

a manifestation of favor, especially by a superior:  

favor or goodwill.

In the last few months the Lord has been taking me on a journey of learning more about His grace, and the grace I must show others.

I have re-read Philip Yancey's book:

And then the Lord led me to read Max Lucado's book:

I know as a child I grew up singing the song "Grace that is greater than all my sin".... but I must admit that until recently did I fully grasp what that meant.  And I am not sure I will ever fully understand grace until I see my Savior face-to-face.

In many parts of our world today, if you mess up in life, you are not shown much grace.  We seem to expect it and even demand it at times, but grace is so much more.  Philip Yancey states it this way:

"Many years ago I was driven to the conclusion that the two major causes of most emotional problems among evangelical Christians are these: the failure to understand, receive, and live out God's unconditional grace and forgiveness; and the failure to give out that unconditional love, forgiveness, and grace to other people... We read, we hear, we believe a good theology of grace.  But that's not the way we live.  The good news of the Gospel of grace has not penetrated the level of our emotions." 

I have had to do some soul searching in recent months to fully comprehend what grace was shown upon me from my Savior and what grace I must show to others.

Our past likes to creep up on us.

We all have moments in our past that we wish we could "do over."

We all have times in our lives where we wish it could be blotted out for good.

And, for those who know Christ as Savior, it HAS.

It is because His grace covers it all.  

It covers the past like it covers our present and our future.

And because of God's grace, He reveals those sins in us and uses them to change us into His image.  HIS GRACE uses our mistakes for HIS GLORY.

God's Word is FULL of mentions of His grace and we can so easily take it for ourselves and be so glad our own sin is forgiven.

At the same time, we can be holding on to condemnation and not show any grace to others who may fall into:

Sexual impurity - with minors, impurity before marriage and adultery during marriage.  

Pornographic addictions.

Drug and alcohol addictions.

The lying tongue.

Gluttony.

Murder.

Thievery.

The list could go on....including our "every day" sins of pride, hardheartedness, greed, and anger.

 

In a world given much grace, we surely do not like to believe someone could be covered by it and change.  



I will be the first to say that I still battle often the urge to base what I think of someone solely on what I know he/she did in the past.

Thankfully, that is not what my Savior has done for me.

Psalm 103:8-14 is full of the showing of His grace:

The Lord is compassionate and gracious,
Slow to anger and abounding in loving kindness.

He will not always strive with us,
Nor will He keep His anger forever. 

 He has not dealt with us according to our sins,
Nor rewarded us according to our iniquities. 

 For as high as the heavens are above the earth,
So great is His loving kindness toward those who fear Him. 

 As far as the east is from the west,
So far has He removed our transgressions from us.

Just as a father has compassion on his children,
So the Lord has compassion on those who fear Him.

For He Himself knows our frame;
He is mindful that we are but dust.

How is it that we, who have been forgiven much and shown much grace, not show that grace to others?

If our Heavenly Father, Who created us, against Whom we sin, can forgive us and show us grace - and choose to remember it no more....

Max Lucado says it quite eloquently:

"God didn't overlook your sins, lest He endorse them.  He didn't punish you, lest He destroy you.  He instead found a way to punish the sin and preserve the sinner.  Jesus took your punishment, and God gave you the credit for Jesus' perfection."

"As long as the cross is God's gift to the world, it will touch you but not change you.  Precious as it is to proclaim, 'Christ died for the world,' even sweeter it is to whisper, 'Christ died for me.'"

"Thank God for the day Jesus took your place, for the day grace happened to you."

I know I am still a work in progress in understanding how to show that grace that has been shown to me.

We are called to show grace - unmerited favor - to others. 

It is then that we may become yet another definition of grace:

elegance or beauty of form, manner, motion, or action: 

a pleasing or attractive quality or endowment: 

I don't know about you, but I know my Lord desires for me to reflect Him more and more as I get closer to seeing Him face-to-face.  Those definitions above show a good picture of what that looks like and how we can, by God's grace, lead others to Him.

Ever Feel Like a Failure.... Anyone? Anyone?

Ever feel like a failure?

Ever look at your life and wonder how it has been useful?

Unfortunately for me, I have lived there most of my life.

I used to say my brother was the smart one and I just got the leftovers....

You see...

I have lived most of my life under the lie that I must have everything perfect in my life in order for things to be "right."

The Lord has brought me far in relinquishing this lie, but....


To this day I still struggle with:

My house and the fact that, especially during school, it looks like a tornado went through it then a bomb was set off.  Yes, I learned as a child that everything should have its place, but reality is that unless Kellie sees it she forgets about it so therefore everything is EVERYWHERE.  There are some weeks I don't know which end is up in my house and have found that I just survive from one day to the next.

My laundry is always piled high in the "Mount Everest" form on my dresser.  Nothing neat and "in place" like the picture below.  Steve and I began to joke about playing hide and go seek in the laundry for him to find a pair of socks.

I don't cook much at my house.  Steve does.  I feel as if that is a huge chunk of what a mother "should" do.  Steve graciously took that over a few years back when I was so overwhelmed with it all.  While I am SO grateful, there is not a day that goes by that I don't struggle and feel guilty.  I feel less than the mother and wife I should be.   When other mother's talk about what they are cooking I feel like I should be ashamed for not performing all of that for my family.

Then there is just the basics of my family - especially of the rearing of Wesley and Mikayla.  There are days I feel I have failed my children in some way of not being what I should be for them.  I feel the same as far as being a wife.  Let's just say that the Proverbs 31 woman is nigh near to impossible.  I don't know how that woman did it.  I surely can never measure up to her.

And let's not forget school.... the place God has called me to be, but yet I feel so inadequate to meet the needs of all that is before me each day.  Technology is changing and there is always a learning curve.  There is the part of me that is still "old school" and firmly believes in that, however, I accept and enjoy the challenges of learning something new.  This is all on top of figuring out 21 precious ones and being all I can be for them.  

On top of all of this, I am trying to learn to be who I am in Christ.  I am trying to draw closer to the One Who made me.  I am trying to find the time to be still before Him without feeling as though I am neglecting something else.


Let's also throw in how there is a comparison to others.  Others who have a greater talent.  Others who can keep their house "just so", others that seem to always have everything they want....  OR SO IT SEEMS.

It is a struggle.

It feels like I am failing most days.

And that is where Satan wants me.

As of late, I have felt like this battle scene from the Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe (don't feel you have to watch it all, but please watch some of it....)

 

Satan has been throwing "failure" darts at me every time I have turned around, just as we see the White Witch and her army battling Peter and Edmund in the movie.

He has wanted me to feel like a failure.

He has wanted me to feel as if I will never reach that Proverbs 31 woman.


Lately, the Lord has given me this verse to remind me that it isn't about ME at all.  I have known that all along - but as we all know, Satan likes to keep us in our chains of bondage.

I AM going to fail at ALL of what I mentioned above when I forget that I am from God. 

I have overcome it all because GREATER is HE that is in me than he that is in the world.

It's not "greater am I because of myself ", upon which we humans like to depend most of the time.

I can do ALL things because of Christ, Who lives in me, and gives me the strength I need to put one foot in front of the other.

He gives me the strength to quench those fiery darts of Satan.

He comes to me in the middle of my battles just as Aslan did in the above movie for Peter and Edmund.  

I have felt Him in such a great way in the past months.  He has shown me more and more of Himself and how much I desperately need Him. 

• It really doesn't matter if my house is not immaculate.  I don't live in a museum anyway!
• It really doesn't matter if I have "Mount Everest" of laundry on my dresser most of the time.
• It really doesn't matter that I don't cook much.
• It really doesn't matter that technology is changing each second.
• It really doesn't matter that I don't do everything I *think* I should be doing.

In thinking of eternity and the fact that this world will pass away - IT. REALLY. DOESN'T. MATTER.

What matters then?

My time with Christ.

My realization that only through Him can I accomplish what NEEDS to happen.

My understanding that this world will pass away - and all of the Mount Everest laundry mountains with it.

My desire to do all things to the best of my ability with Christ's strength.

The fact that my personal children tell me "Thank you for helping me in my Christian life and how to read God's Word."  

The other fact that my students tell me "Bible time is my favorite."

I AM doing what I was called to do.  

And while I am certainly not perfect, I am sharing the love of Christ with the next generation of my family as well as my students. 

I am FROM GOD.

Nothing matters but HIM because HE is greater and lives in ME.

I have clung to this song for the past 6 months in my battles of feeling like I have failed.  What a perfect reminder that The Lion of Judah is already there in the battle and I have won because of HIM. Enjoy:

Cherish - Love Poured Out

Cherish.


What exactly does that mean?

Let's look at it from the dictionary for a minute, shall we?

verb (used with object)

1.to hold or treat as dear; feel love for:

to cherish one's native land.

2.to care for tenderly; nurture:

to cherish a child.

3.to cling fondly or inveterately to:

to cherish a memory.

 

Synonyms

1, 2. Cherish, foster, harbor imply giving affection, care, or shelter to something. Cherish suggests regarding or treating something as an object of affection or as valuable: to cherish a friendship. Foster implies sustaining and nourishing something with care, especially in order to promote, increase, or strengthen it: to foster a hope; to foster enmity.

 

 

 

This is a picture I took a few years back came to mind when I thought of what it was like to cherish someone.  

It is where you hold the person's heart close in your hands, cupping the heart and desiring to shield it from unknown hurts or problems.  

To be willing to not be the problem.  

To nourish and strengthen the commitment to cherish them.

 

I then began to think of cherish as love poured out.  

Love is poured out daily in acts of service, kind words, letting the other person know he/she is valued to you above and beyond treasures this life can promise.  

This is not a once a month, once a year pouring out of love as we many times see on Valentine's, but a day by day, minute by minute pouring out of your selfishness to show that you cherish the one God has placed in your life.

Steve and I have now been married over 21 years.  We have experienced a lot of ups and downs in our marriage and through it all, we have stayed together and committed to what we promised on May 29, 1993.  We have experienced times with each other of cherishing and love poured out.

Then I can think back to times when we only wanted our own selfish desires.  We forgot the covenant of cherishing the one God had given to us and forsaking all others - or things.

In my own life, the Lord had to teach me how to love Steve unconditionally.  He had to show me that His love for me is a picture of cherishing and love poured out.  Unfortunately for me, I learned this lesson later in our married years instead of right away.  

I was a spoiled-rotten wife at first.  I did not realize how much sacrifice it took to learn how to give of myself - and give up my own selfishness - to truly learn to love another.  

The Lord had to do a lot of trimming.  

He had to do a lot of breaking.

There was a lot of learning how to have less of Kellie and more of Him.

That work still continues to this moment!!  It will never end in this lifetime.

I recently read this book.  It was a book I wished I had read when I first became married - or even before.  However, I am always learning to trust that the Lord has me read things when I need to read them most!

This book reinforced many things the Lord has taught me and also showed me that in order for my relationship with Steve to be what it needed to be, my relationship with the Lord had to be right.  I love what Paul David Tripp says when he talks about this - "In order for your relationships to be right horizontally (person to person), you must have the right relationship vertically (with the Lord.)"  

In order for me to cherish Steve and have my love poured out on him, I must have the right heart attitude and that can only come from spending time with my Savior.

What did I expect out of marriage?  Did I expect every day to be where Steve swept me off my feet and there were no problems?

I think at first, yes, this was what I thought.  In fact, for years I was disgruntled that married life, although great, wasn't what I had thought it would be.

But that is when the Lord began to change ME.  He didn't change Steve for me -He changed ME.

In that changing, I began to focus more on Steve and his needs and less on myself because I was more focused on the Word from the Lord.

I began to love Steve unconditionally - even when he made me mad that he threw away my Tide bottle because he should *know* that I always fill it back up with the economy size I get to save money. (haha... yes, that actually happened, but there are many more of those types of moments that I shall spare you in this post!)

I began to love Steve in his weaknesses.

I began to view Steve in his strengths in a way that I never had before.  

I began to stop comparing him to my own Daddy saying.... "Well, Daddy did it this way...." to "Steve does it amazingly well THIS way."

He became my best friend.

He became the one I promised to love no matter what.

NO. MATTER. WHAT.

See, that is what cherishing is.

Cherishing is to love and pour your love out on another person NO MATTER WHAT.

Is it easy?

NO.

We are selfish creatures by nature because of the sin nature brought upon us by Adam and Eve's sin in the Garden.

However, it is possible because of the love of Christ shown on us.

Just as Christ forgave me of my sin and loved me more than I can fathom, isn't it my responsibility to show the same to others - most importantly to the one I have promised to God to love and CHERISH till death do us part?

Yes.

That is what cherish is.  

It is love poured out.  It is love that is committed.  It is love that stands strong even when life has its storms.  

It is what Christ does for me each day.

Here is a poem I wrote for Steve on our one year dating anniversary in 1992.  Little did I realize how true my own words would ring in the future of our marriage.  That is the beauty of it, though.  God knew and He has caused me to write this before I really knew what loving and cherishing was all about because He saw what I would one day become through Him.  I can confidently say that the Lord has taught me to be this kind of love to Steve. 

To be cherished and show love poured out really is a precious gift....

Precious Gift

Love is a precious gift from God

That cannot be bought or sold.

Love is something that stands strong

Even when storms of life beat on.

Love takes pain and grows with it;

Does not quit when time seems long.

Love is there when hurt is felt,

And stands by to heal the pain.

Love shares laughter, as well as tears,

And loving arms to hold you still.

Love is patient and very kind

Although it may be tried.

Love makes each day a bit brighter,

and grows stronger as they pass on.

Love is sometimes hard to express,

But is felt strong in the heart.

Love can last the test of time ~

For love is you.

I Corinthians 13:4-8 

 Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant  or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful;  it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth.  Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

  Love never ends.