Cherish.
What exactly does that mean?
Let's look at it from the dictionary for a minute, shall we?
1.to hold or treat as dear; feel love for:
to cherish one's native land.
2.to care for tenderly; nurture:
to cherish a child.
3.to cling fondly or inveterately to:
to cherish a memory.
Synonyms
1, 2. Cherish, foster, harbor imply giving affection, care, or shelter to something. Cherish suggests regarding or treating something as an object of affection or as valuable: to cherish a friendship. Foster implies sustaining and nourishing something with care, especially in order to promote, increase, or strengthen it: to foster a hope; to foster enmity.
This is a picture I took a few years back came to mind when I thought of what it was like to cherish someone.
It is where you hold the person's heart close in your hands, cupping the heart and desiring to shield it from unknown hurts or problems.
To be willing to not be the problem.
To nourish and strengthen the commitment to cherish them.
I then began to think of cherish as love poured out.
Love is poured out daily in acts of service, kind words, letting the other person know he/she is valued to you above and beyond treasures this life can promise.
This is not a once a month, once a year pouring out of love as we many times see on Valentine's, but a day by day, minute by minute pouring out of your selfishness to show that you cherish the one God has placed in your life.
Steve and I have now been married over 21 years. We have experienced a lot of ups and downs in our marriage and through it all, we have stayed together and committed to what we promised on May 29, 1993. We have experienced times with each other of cherishing and love poured out.
Then I can think back to times when we only wanted our own selfish desires. We forgot the covenant of cherishing the one God had given to us and forsaking all others - or things.
In my own life, the Lord had to teach me how to love Steve unconditionally. He had to show me that His love for me is a picture of cherishing and love poured out. Unfortunately for me, I learned this lesson later in our married years instead of right away.
I was a spoiled-rotten wife at first. I did not realize how much sacrifice it took to learn how to give of myself - and give up my own selfishness - to truly learn to love another.
The Lord had to do a lot of trimming.
He had to do a lot of breaking.
There was a lot of learning how to have less of Kellie and more of Him.
That work still continues to this moment!! It will never end in this lifetime.
I recently read this book. It was a book I wished I had read when I first became married - or even before. However, I am always learning to trust that the Lord has me read things when I need to read them most!
This book reinforced many things the Lord has taught me and also showed me that in order for my relationship with Steve to be what it needed to be, my relationship with the Lord had to be right. I love what Paul David Tripp says when he talks about this - "In order for your relationships to be right horizontally (person to person), you must have the right relationship vertically (with the Lord.)"
In order for me to cherish Steve and have my love poured out on him, I must have the right heart attitude and that can only come from spending time with my Savior.
What did I expect out of marriage? Did I expect every day to be where Steve swept me off my feet and there were no problems?
I think at first, yes, this was what I thought. In fact, for years I was disgruntled that married life, although great, wasn't what I had thought it would be.
But that is when the Lord began to change ME. He didn't change Steve for me -He changed ME.
In that changing, I began to focus more on Steve and his needs and less on myself because I was more focused on the Word from the Lord.
I began to love Steve unconditionally - even when he made me mad that he threw away my Tide bottle because he should *know* that I always fill it back up with the economy size I get to save money. (haha... yes, that actually happened, but there are many more of those types of moments that I shall spare you in this post!)
I began to love Steve in his weaknesses.
I began to view Steve in his strengths in a way that I never had before.
I began to stop comparing him to my own Daddy saying.... "Well, Daddy did it this way...." to "Steve does it amazingly well THIS way."
He became my best friend.
He became the one I promised to love no matter what.
NO. MATTER. WHAT.
See, that is what cherishing is.
Cherishing is to love and pour your love out on another person NO MATTER WHAT.
Is it easy?
NO.
We are selfish creatures by nature because of the sin nature brought upon us by Adam and Eve's sin in the Garden.
However, it is possible because of the love of Christ shown on us.
Just as Christ forgave me of my sin and loved me more than I can fathom, isn't it my responsibility to show the same to others - most importantly to the one I have promised to God to love and CHERISH till death do us part?
Yes.
That is what cherish is.
It is love poured out. It is love that is committed. It is love that stands strong even when life has its storms.
It is what Christ does for me each day.
Here is a poem I wrote for Steve on our one year dating anniversary in 1992. Little did I realize how true my own words would ring in the future of our marriage. That is the beauty of it, though. God knew and He has caused me to write this before I really knew what loving and cherishing was all about because He saw what I would one day become through Him. I can confidently say that the Lord has taught me to be this kind of love to Steve.
To be cherished and show love poured out really is a precious gift....
Precious Gift
Love is a precious gift from God
That cannot be bought or sold.
Love is something that stands strong
Even when storms of life beat on.
Love takes pain and grows with it;
Does not quit when time seems long.
Love is there when hurt is felt,
And stands by to heal the pain.
Love shares laughter, as well as tears,
And loving arms to hold you still.
Love is patient and very kind
Although it may be tried.
Love makes each day a bit brighter,
and grows stronger as they pass on.
Love is sometimes hard to express,
But is felt strong in the heart.
Love can last the test of time ~
For love is you.
I Corinthians 13:4-8
Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
Love never ends.
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