Last week I began cleaning out our bedroom.
Deep-cleaning.
Something that hadn't been done in a mighty long time. In fact, I think the last time it was really deep cleaned was when we repainted it...
YEARS AGO.
Insert reason why, here:
For the last few summers I have been busy with school projects or, like last summer, chose to spend most of my time at Jesus' feet.
I needed that time to sit at Jesus' feet. I needed that time of learning more of Him.
Now moving on to the topic at hand:
As I began deep cleaning our room, the Lord began working in my heart, too.
I have heard others say that a couples' bedroom should not be junky and filled with stuff as it should be your retreat as a couple.
Our bedroom was just the opposite:
It was filled with all of the books and devotionals I have been reading.
It was (and still can be) the stockpile of clothing needing to be folded.
It had so much dust in it I had an allergic reaction just thinking about cleaning.
It had photography stuff piled high.
It had clothing and shoes in various places instead of where it needed to be.
It was filled with a reflection of a busy LIFE.
I dreaded the task.
But I knew it had to be done and I was determined that the summer would not get going too far before I tackled the job.
As I was cleaning, I began to reflect that mine and Steve's marriage had become just like our room.
It was filled with time away from each other doing our jobs.
It was filled with responsibilities of raising the kids.
It was filled with exhaustion.
It was filled with things we didn't even realize about each other - even after being married so long.
It was filled with love, but a love that was dusty because of a busy LIFE.
That is, until the Lord began to do some deep cleaning.
Steve and I have been together for 24 years and married for 22 years. You would think by now that we would have this marriage thing down pat and everything was going great....
Except, we are just now realizing more and more that we are two people still learning to live together and follow the Lord.
The Lord has led Steve and I to realize that we were taking each other for granted. We had become so used to the other being there that deep down we let dust settle on our relationship.
He has revealed lies from Satan that have caused us to still trust in ourselves from time to time instead of lean on the Lord and each other.
He has shown us that we are just two broken, sinful people who are married and living together.
The Lord's deep-cleaning has been hard and there have been days where we felt the "vacuum" He was using was sucking us empty and dry. There were days He broke us to a point where we didn't think we would ever be whole again.
BUT....
Just as I had to empty our room of all the junk and vacuum/dust areas that had been long neglected, and had to break away from some things that I didn't need anymore, God had to empty and break our marriage of ourselves in order to fill us with the pureness of Who He is and what HE wants us to be as a couple.
I think this song came out in 2014 but it wasn't until the last few months that I actually heard it and it was so fitting for what the Lord was showing Steve and I in our deep cleaning.
We are broken. Yes.
The journey of marriage is lifelong. That is why marriage is so precious.
It takes work.
I love Steve now more than ever because of the deep cleansing journey on which the Lord has taken us.
After the Lord showed us how broken we were He allowed us to see we are stronger when we are BROKEN TOGETHER - with the Lord.
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