The Present

My Momma's Heart has continued to ponder over these last few months.

I have been thinking of THE PRESENT.

The present of my children.

The present of my life.

The present of my family.

The last few years have been a blur. The life we all have lived in this world for the last three (due to the pandemic) has been overwhelming and I have found that a lot of things have passed which caused me to not be able to retain the memory of that moment. I have had people ask if I remember something and I feel a loss in realizing I could not remember.

As both of our kids got married this summer, one thing the Lord kept putting on my heart was to be PRESENT. I wanted to remember. I wanted to ponder everything in my heart and keep it close. I purposely did that and will forever hold those memories in my heart. I savor every view, smell, or touch that I had on their very special days and the days leading up to the weddings. 

But as I have pondered on the present, I have always been concerned that I was not always present as Wesley and Mikayla were growing up. Having been a teacher all of their lives, I always felt like I had given more to my students each day than I had to my own children. 

I used to scrapbook. I wish I still had the time and energy to do so, but I am so glad that at least for the first five years of their lives, Wesley and Mikayla have their lives documented! As I have been thinking about how to put the present into words, the Lord led me to the pictures below. 

This was "the present" for a long time. Utter chaos! This was my scrapbooking area also known as our dining room. I was constantly trying to keep up with what Wesley and Mikayla were doing and recording it for posterity. 

All the while, I was thinking, and have also been thinking A LOT recently, that I was not always present in their growing years.

I look back and realize so many times were chaotic and rushed.

Rush to school. 

Rush to an appointment. 

Rush to a practice. 

Rush to get to bed. 

The moments are jumbled in my mind like the looks of my dining room in that picture!

But then I look at the picture posted below and see scattered pictures of "the present" of that specific time that I had captured. The Lord helped me see that in order to capture those pictures, I had to be present.

In that rush, I was still present with them. I may not remember every detail, but all of those details mesh together to create the PRESENT of where we are today. I would not take anything for that PRESENT of love and grace in my life!

As I continued to muse on this throughout the summer, the Lord showed me how my concerns and thoughts of being present as a Mom can apply to my spiritual life as well. 

Even though in the present I may not always think or feel that the Lord is there with me, HE IS. Because He is in my PAST and knows my FUTURE, that means THE PRESENT is always in front of Him. I can trust that He will never leave me or forsake me. I can know that in the scrapbook of my life, He has remembered everything and even if I forget, He never will.

The present is in His hands and that is the best present any of us could ever receive. We can trust and be grateful for the PRESENT of HIS love, grace, and faithfulness in our lives!

Letting Go

Our son has just recently separated his calves from their Mommas. It was not an easy thing to witness due to the distress both were showing. When the calves were taken away to their new pasture up the road, the Mommas were bellowing.

And they bellowed all night.

I understand.

You see, this picture seems like just yesterday. 

I was finally a Momma after many years of trying and so grateful for these twins the Lord had given to us. We dedicated them to the Lord as babies. We always *knew* they were His gifts to us that would not stay under our roof forever. But that was such a LONG way away!

At that time, I could not see how quickly my holding onto them would turn into letting go.

My reflections have increased as of late because both of these babies are getting married very soon. Along with those reflections have come some emotions for which I was not prepared. 

I am feeling like those Momma cows were voicing - a deep emotional bellow. I am finding that no one can prepare you for what it means to fully "let go." 

How can one put into words what it really means to let go? Could it be right now that my inward bellowing is another facet of how the Holy Spirit understands our groaning as Romans 8:26 speaks?

 "In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans."

My pondering has been all over the place. I have gone back in time to when they were born all the way up to the last second I saw them and the interactions that took place. I can see a picture of them, of which I have many, and it will take me to that moment. That memory. That clinging. However, at each moment I observe I am reminded that I have been constantly letting go from the first time I held them in my arms:

the nursery

the first crawls and walks

the first words

the first holidays

the first toddler moments

the first day of Kindergarten

the first lost tooth

the first day of being out of "my" building at school and into the Elementary

the first of many "Mom, I need...."

the first day of middle school

the first day of hormones (and all that comes with it!)

the first day of high school

the first crush

the first heartache

the first (of many) long talks and discipling with God's Word

the first day of driving

the first prom

the high school graduation (which was bad enough....)

the first day of college

the first day of meeting their special one the Lord has given to them and realizing everything was changing

the first day after they were engaged....to my almost last day of them living completely under my roof.

I find myself trying to live in the past, present, and future all at the same time.

But only God can do that!

My emotions never know right now whether to laugh or cry; whether to rejoice or be sad.

All of what is happening is GOOD and ordained by God's plan. Just like my son knows that separating those Momma cows from their calves is part of life and necessary, so too is this moment with my own babies.

But the inward bellowing is a real thing. The cows just seem to voice it more easily than me.

No longer am I my son's first love. His wife will take that roll, as it should be, and they will become their own family.

No longer am I my daughter's first call (or first shopping buddy). Her husband will be the one she reaches out to first because that is what is ordained when they leave and come together as one.

I am trusting the Lord as I take their hands out of mine and put them completely into His. I just never knew when I held them the first time how hard that would actually be.

It is taking my trust in the Lord to a whole new level. 

But isn't that what life is all about? Isn't that what He reminds us so often in His Word that there will be hard things and times we must let go? 

But there is a truth that He shows us more strongly during these times: 

HE never lets US go. 

I am thankful that while I am having to let them go and He holds them tightly,  He is holding onto me, too.

My bellowing Momma's heart is clinging to that truth.

Changes of Praise

This year, 2022, the Lord gave me the word "devotion" on which to think and grow. It has been a year of learning more devotion to Him, my family, my work, and those around me. This does not mean that I have not been a devoted person beforehand, as my heart's desire is to always be faithful. The last two years were such a distraction to my heart and soul that I needed this year to heal and process all that the Lord taught me when I was clinging to Him with everything I had. 

For this coming year, the Lord is making it clear that the words on which He desires for me to ponder are praise and change.

Praise is craved. Praise is uplifting. Praise is effortless when life is going as planned.

While change is part of life, some can be viewed as welcome and exciting; others are overwhelming and exhausting.

The words of praise and change take me back to the fall of the year. Every year this season is a hectic time for me with school and other responsibilities. I rarely get the chance to view it at a slower pace. This past fall, the Lord gave me time to absorb and capture the color palette around me. It inspired my soul to view the colorful changes happening before my eyes. The Lord began to use these visual changes of fall to teach me about what He was preparing for me in the new year. 

The following photograph was taken long ago before so many changes happened near our home. This is a favorite picture to which I refer back to time and again. 

There is nothing like the peak season of the leaves showing off their brilliance. The beauty that is seen is majestic and photographic. It is a time of praise to our Creator for the glory He shows us before the winter season.

However, as I have photographed the grandness of the fall season, when viewing the details, the changing of the leaves looks more like the picture below - not so picture-perfect. I was going to do photoshopping on the leaves to fill in the holes and give a perfect view of the leaf. 

But the Lord stopped me and used the above picture to make me pause and think. He had something to show me for my own life. 

The view of the changing leaves from afar gives a delightful impression, but the accurate and up-close view can be ugly and distracting. Very few leaves I have photographed are perfectly colored and without some type of imperfection. The holes and misshapen areas are evidence that change is not always a thing of beauty. It is a performance of dying to what once was so that it can become new again.

As I look forward to the next year, I already see two changes coming our way because of devotion! Our children have found the one the Lord has for them and will be getting married in the late spring and mid-summer. That is praiseworthy! However, the life we have known for all these years will be forever changed. 

This Momma's Heart has been wrestling with that change. I have been devoted to my children since before they were born. As a Mom, I feel misshapen and left with holes that once were full of life. Just as in the fall season, the leaves fall and die to replenish the earth and get ready for the coming growing season, change is requiring me to fall from what I have been for so long, die to who I think I should be, and praise the Lord for what He will transform in me.

Change is part of this life. Change is beautiful. Change is hard and painful.  

But that is what praise in the change is all about - changing us from what we were to what we need to become. For the tree to mature, the old leaves must fall off and allow new growth to appear. The same happens in life - change causes our old selves to become something new, and in that process, praise goes to our Creator for how HE changes us. The best part of praise in the changing is that God never changes. Because He is always the same, any change in this life can be praised because He is faithful and stays the same. We can trust that the changes He is doing in us are for our good and His glory. 

So, join me in praising the Lord for change. His faithfulness allows us to look back and gaze on the overall beauty that change provides while not dwelling on what had to occur to view that beauty.

Malachi 3:6a (ESV)

For I the Lord do not change;

Psalm 59:17 (CSB)

To you, my strength, I sing praises, because God is my stronghold - my faithful God.

Focused Eyes

I am a strong visual learner, so my eyesight is a large part of how I experience the world around me. In the last couple of years, I tried to focus on what the Lord was allowing me to view of life. Like all those around me, I could only view what was right in front of me just to survive. It was literally a step-by-step process and there was no viewing of a bigger picture. There was no time to "stop and smell, or view, the roses." 

 

This year, the Lord has shown me how I can see Him again with more focused eyes. He has shown me how to look back on the last two years and see how He was always there focusing my vision even when I thought everything I saw was out of focus. 

 

And He revealed this deeper truth to me using a bee.

 

If you know me personally, you know how much I love to photograph God's Creation. The details always fascinate me. To view those details up close, I use my macro lens which allows me to view what I see with magnification. At different seasons I love to capture what is on display. This summer was no different and I had the chance to aimlessly wander around and view the beauty. As I was focused on certain plants, the bees caught my eye. They were everywhere doing their God-given job of pollinating and bringing new life to the world around us, so I began to photograph them.

 

Bees, like most insects, have three simple eyes and two compound eyes. They have the ability to see all colors except for red but can see lesser hues of red such as oranges or yellows. They also have the capability to see ultraviolet light which is not a feat for human eyes. The ability to see ultraviolet light allows the bee to see details hidden in the plants that are unseen to the human eye. Bees use their simple eyes to guide them in the right direction. Those simple eyes can use the sun, even on a cloudy day, to navigate where they are in their area, and it can also lead them back home. The compound eyes of the bee allow it to have the ability to focus on a plant even when it is windy or if there are other distractions. They never miss their mark and always do their purposed work.

 

As I kept photographing the bees, I could not help but think of the verse the Lord gave me for this year on which to meditate:

 

Psalm 119:37(CSB) - Turn my eyes from looking at what is worthless; give me life in your ways.

 

Sometimes I struggle to keep my eyes from looking at what is worthless. I focus on what is simply seen instead of using the compound eyes of Scripture to have a clear focus of what is shown to me. That lack of focus can happen through events in daily living, the news, social media, or the comparison trap.

 

The Lord used this verse, and the bees, to deepen my understanding of what He has been showing me in the past two years. There are a lot of worthless things in this world, but if I keep my eyes focused on the guiding light of the Son, even when it appears the clouds of life have covered Him, I will always be headed in the right direction. This "ultraviolet" focus will reveal details that can only be seen when viewed through the light of Scripture no matter the distractions surrounding my circumstances. I must trust that the Lord will use His ultraviolet light to reveal the details that can be easily missed with my humanness. I can then have a more abundant life because I am remembering my purpose is to glorify Him and do His work instead of focusing on what will not last.

So, see like a bee. 

 

Focus on the life-giving Word of the Lord and the worthless things will grow dim in the light of His glory and grace.

 

(Because bees fascinate me, if you want to read more about them, here is an article I read to understand them more: How Bees See and Why It Matters)

 

 

 

"Steer" Me the Right Way

In my last post, I was walking away from 2021 to finally breathe again... Little did I realize that one short day after I posted, I would have the privilege to breathe alright. 

Breathe while running around chasing steers!

On our little farm we now have three cows, a calf, and four steers along with the horses. 

That evening, a kind stranger came to the house, rang the doorbell, and shared with me that our "cows" were out. I froze. 

"Cows out? How can that be? They are in the pasture. Wait, cows are OUT!" 

Sure enough, it was the four steers. They had found a way to get out of the fenced area they were in and were "having the time of their lives" running up and down our main road, in the subdivision by our home (which used to be cornfields and pastures of our farm when I was growing up), and near the lake. Wesley had just moved them there a week or so before to give them a new area to graze. Light was fading fast and it was when rush-hour traffic was beginning!

Wesley and his friend were already trying to wrangle them back up the road to the pasture. As Steve and I turned the corner from our road to the main road, I see Wesley chasing one of the steers, who I am affectionately calling Gus, up the road. Quickly, the steer made a sharp left turn and was running through the neighborhood across the street from our place and Wes made the sharp left right along with him. Gus went all around that neighborhood, taking off across people's back yards, and finally heading off toward the lake again.

I get it, Gus. Living in some fenced in area with barbed wire does not seem like the perfect way of life. There is so much freedom on the other side of that restricted boundary! Freedom to run and eat the grass that is on the other side of the fence. Freedom to roam wherever you would want!

But what Gus and his buddies failed to see was that the fence kept them safe. It kept them safe from a busy road, vehicles, other people - and even themselves. They were fed twice a day, water was always provided, and enough grass or hay to munch on throughout the day. They really had it made - even if they thought they did not.

Chasing Gus continued for quite a while. The stinker was running all around trying to find his three other cohorts who had busted him loose but did not keep him close enough. Or maybe Gus just decided to find his own path and then realized he was lost and was running in circles.

All along, Wesley, and the rest of our family and friends, were doing what we could to find all four of those steers and bring them back the right way home. The steers thought they were fine, but we knew what could harm them out beyond the pasture.

All four finally found each other right by the lake. I was the one who got to "steer sit" while Wesley and the others came up with the plan to guide them back to the pasture. All I knew to do at that moment was pray. Pray that they would not go away from me, that Wesley could come up with a solution, and that the Lord would guide them back home. 

It was beginning to get dark and I was having a hard time seeing them when they began to move again. Wesley was in position to get behind them and push them, but he could only see so much in the darkness. We were all running around trying to make sure they were safe. As we were running up the road again, we hear Wesley say, "They're in! They're in!" I began running with the bucket of food to guide them to the other side of the fence. Steve was running telling everyone nearby to make sure the other gate was secured. 

Later as we were talking about how the steers finally came back the right way, Wesley said it was so dark he could hardly see them, but then, at the last minute, they literally turned and went straight back to the area from where they had escaped. They were so exhausted that they were glad to finally be back where they belonged. I knew right then that the Lord had guided them back home.

As I "steer sat" that day, I could not help but think of how Gus and the rest of those steers are just like me. 

I get irritated with the fenced-in area where the Lord has me and think that outside of those boundaries there is more life and freedom. I can quickly follow others, or what the latest news has just reported, and "escape" from the "pasture" where the Lord has placed me for that time. As I leave that safety, I begin to experience what happened to Gus. I run around frantically trying to find those "others" or the path I thought would be better, only to realize it is exhausting. If only I would just stay where the Lord puts me and realize He is taking care of me right there, I would not need to run. I actually have a lot of freedom in that pasture because it was where He placed me and He is always watching over me.

Before the steers had gotten out, the Lord had given me the word "devotion" upon which to meditate this year.  Psalm 119 has been my go-to passage of Scripture and the verse that really spoke to me for this year is Psalm 119:37. I put it on our mantle above the fireplace where we all could see it every day: 

Psalm 119:37 CSB

"Turn my eyes from looking at what is worthless; give me life in your ways."

How fitting that, on one of the last days of 2021, the Lord had me running to chase those steers to teach me this concept in a real-life way. Every day I drive by that pasture and it takes me back to that experience. Every day the Lord's truth continues to sink in more deeply. 

If I am not looking at the ways of the Lord, I am chasing worthless things. Those worthless things take away the freedom and safety that can only be found in the Lord. I must trust that the "pasture" where He has me for that time is the best place I can be. Running from it does not give me rest. It is exhausting. Only when I devote myself to spending time in His Word and staying close to His ways can I fully have life and be at peace where He has placed me. And if I do get out and begin looking at worthless things... He is chasing after me...encouraging me to come back to Him. When I call out to Him, He always finds me and "steers" me safely home.

How about you? Are you needing to be "steered" in the right way? Get lost in the Lord and His Word - not in this world. Stay content in the pasture where He has you and find life in HIS ways. 

Walking Away to Breathe

 I am walking away from this year. I am walking away with a much different perspective than a year ago. 

The picture below gives a picture of what this year has felt like in my walk. I have felt like I was on a beach with sand ebbing and flowing between my feet. I have felt the shells and rocks under my feet and was unstable as I tried to walk over them. My feet stumbled along the way on many occasions and at many points I felt that I would drown. I FELT all of those things. However, I just kept walking.

I have mentioned this in my writing before, but when Daddy became ready for hospice, a dear friend asked me what I was thinking, to which I replied, "I just want to keep walking away and never stop."

I know that walking is good for you. I know that walking produces endurance and strength. I know that walking allows the heart to get stronger.

I know....

....but even though I know how good walking can be, walking away from it all just has not seemed to happen. The walking has been laborious and I have found myself just trying to take the next step. 

As I am looking back on this year - and even just the last two years - I have found I have inwardly been wanting to walk away to breathe. I know I am not alone.

I have felt as if I have been holding my breath which does not help with the walking.

The Lord gave me "steadfast/faithful" as my word of meditation for this year. As I am walking away from another year of breath-holding, I truly say if it were not for the Lord's steadfast and faithful love, I would not have made it. I did not have the brain energy to do a lot of deep study in God's Word this year. I literally clung to Him with all I had.

He has kept me walking when I wanted to stop. 

He has kept me together when I felt like I was breaking and falling bit-by-bit on the road I was traveling.

He has understood my weakness and carried me when I had no energy to keep walking.

He has kept my mind focused on Him even when there were trip-hazards in my journey. 

He has truly been the rock-solid and faithful pathway as I have walked through this year of uncertainty, loss, and overwhelming stress. 

Because He is steadfast and faithful, HE KNOWS and while I was out walking recently, the Lord reminded me of His faithfulness in a song. Because He is faithful, I can KNOW He is always there.

I KNOW

by 

Hank Bentley / Michael David Weaver / Benji Cowart 

You don't answer all my questions

But You hear me when I speak

You don't keep my heart from breakin'

But when it does, You weep with me

You're so close that I can feel You

When I've lost the words to pray

And though my eyes have never seen You

I've seen enough to say

I know that You are good

I know that You are kind

I know that You are so much more

Than what I leave behind

I know that I am loved

I know that I am safe

'Cause even in the fire, to live is Christ, to die is gain

I know that You are good

I don't understand the sorrow

But You're calm within the storm

Sometimes this weight is overwhelming

But I don't carry it alone

You're still close when I can't feel You

I don't have to be afraid

And though my eyes have never seen You

I've seen enough to say

I know that You are good

I know that You are kind

I know that You are so much more

Than what I leave behind

I know that I am loved

I know that I am safe

'Cause even in the fire, to live is Christ, to die is gain

I know that You are good

You are good

I know

On my darkest day

From my deepest pain

Through it all, my heart, will choose to sing Your praise

On my darkest day

From my deepest pain

Through it all, my heart, will choose to sing Your praise

On my darkest day

In my deepest pain

Through it all, my heart, will choose to sing Your praise

I know that You are good

I know that You are kind

I know that You are so much more

Than what I leave behind

I know that I am loved

I know that I am safe

'Cause even in the fire, to live is Christ, to die is gain

I know that You are good

I know that You are good

I know

I will speak truth here - the year unfolding in front of me has resurrected some fear and wondering if I am going to stumble and fall through another. BUT...

The Lord has been so good and faithful throughout my walking through this year that I know He will do so in the next. I know that He is with me and is GOOD. 

Because He has been so faithful and good, my heart's cry for next year is devotion to Him. He has shown me from Psalm 119 that this is the passage where I will gain much wisdom from Him in the coming year. 

It has already brought me comfort as I have been walking through it in the last bit of time. I am excited for how the Lord will allow me to keep walking. And I will not necessarily be walking AWAY from stress and life, but walking TOWARD more intimacy with Him. Pursuing Him and walking alongside of Him to learn more from Him than just how to take the next step. Walking with the ability to inhale and exhale because I am tired of holding my breath. 

As I bid farewell to another year, I am choosing to walk away from 2021 and BREATHE.

Psalm 119:45 

I will walk freely in an open place

because I study your precepts.

Broken to Be Strengthened

It would be fair to say that no person likes being broken. Brokenness causes one to feel weak and vulnerable. It can make one feel out of control.

For the last couple of years, I have felt that brokenness has become as much a part of life as breathing. I have watched others suffer through broken dreams, health, or life in general. Our world has felt broken throughout the pandemic and the lack of community we have had to face. Personally, I have experienced a brokenness that I never fully grasped until I held my Daddy's hand as he slipped from this world, leaving his own broken body to become whole again in the hands of His Savior. I know I am not alone in that feeling...so many people I know have walked this same path in the last eighteen months.

For a time after the last school year and my Daddy's home going, I could only see the brokenness of my heart. I kept searching for Scripture to help me through it. I found some beautiful passages that stood out to me during that time:

Psalm 34:18 - The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.

Psalm 147:3 - He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.

Isaiah 61:1 -The Spirit of the Lord God is upon me, because the Lord has anointed me to bring good news to the poor; he has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to those who are bound;

While they were so beautiful, and ones to which I clung, what was interesting to me is that these Scriptures were the only ones I found that specifically spoke about the brokenhearted. At that point, I was so consumed in my broken heart that I was frustrated with the Lord for not having more verses referring to "brokenhearted" in Scripture. 

It was then that the Lord used a good friend to begin showing me why. 

A month to the day after my Daddy's passing was a hard one. School was now over and I had more time on my hands. The finality of his home-going was sinking in and I was crumbling as I had more time to be consumed with my broken heart. I wanted to stay in the broken pieces that had become my life. I was supposed to visit my friend that day but did not want to go. I had to make myself get in the vehicle and go see her. The Lord knew how much I needed her on that specific day and it still amazes me of His timing. This time to spend with her had been scheduled for a long while.

As I sat with her, falling apart on the inside and showing my brokenness on the outside, she so gently reminded me that I was trying to be strong on my own. Of course I was broken! I had just walked through a tough school year and the passing of my Daddy. But I needed to stop looking at the brokenness and see the strength of the Lord that had gotten me through it all. She reminded me I needed to rest physically and also REST in the Lord. 

This picture was one I had taken for a devotion years ago. I used my Daddy's hands because I always loved his hands and how strong they were. They were a common connection with anyone who met him because his hands could grip you so tightly you KNEW you had shaken his hand! He had been a dairy farmer for over 40 years so his hands were tough. He held that strength, even through his years of sickness and in hospice, until a day or so before he passed away. I held his hand as long as I was able throughout his last days. I clung to his strength. I was not quite sure what to do with myself when the strength left his hands and he was gone. 

When looking at this picture after Daddy's home-going, all I could see were the broken pieces in his hands. After my friend so gently reminded me it was not for me to be strong right now in my brokenness, but to let the Lord be my strength, I began to view this picture again for what I had originally desired to convey over a decade ago. I had missed out on the most important part - my Daddy's loving hands were holding the brokenness! Those pieces are resting in his hands.

The Lord used my earthly Daddy's hands to remind me of my Heavenly Abba Father's hands. The Lord was holding me in all my brokenness. HE would be my strength when I was falling apart. HE would be the One to hold me and allow my broken heart to rest in His strength and not my own. 

It was then that the Lord gently reminded me how many times the word "strength"is found in Scripture that deals with HIS strength and not human strength. I had been blinded to it because of life's circumstances. The Lord showed me deeper that I was looking at my brokenness from the wrong point of view - my own. I was focused on the broken pieces instead of on the hands underneath the brokenness that were holding me and giving me strength to keep going.

What I have continued to learn through this is that the Lord views brokenness differently. He sees that broken is actually more beautiful and useful than in its original state because it is depending on something else to hold it in place. While the breaking is overwhelming and debilitating at times, the end result is a deeper understanding that He holds us and we must be strengthened by HIM alone. The Lord knows what it feels like to be broken - He was broken for you and me on the cross:

I Corinthians 11:24 - And when he had given thanks, he brake it, and said, Take, eat: this is my body, which is broken for you: this do in remembrance of me.

I needed to remember He was broken for me so I can trust that He knows how to hold me.

After I began seeing the Lord's hands underneath my brokenness, the Lord began repeating this verse to my heart over the summer: 

The picture of Daddy's hands I took over a decade ago are able to be used again to show the Lord's truth. The hands of the Lord that are holding me will never lose their strength. I can always rest in them no matter how much my flesh or heart fail me because HE is my strength. 

Friend, how are you feeling right now? Are you only seeing the broken pieces? Are you struggling to find rest because the brokenness is overwhelming? Keep your eyes on the hands underneath your brokenness. They are what give you strength when your flesh and heart fail. They are forever. 

Rest in His strength.

Here is a song the Lord had me play on repeat over the summer. There is a bright side to being broken.