Changes of Praise

This year, 2022, the Lord gave me the word "devotion" on which to think and grow. It has been a year of learning more devotion to Him, my family, my work, and those around me. This does not mean that I have not been a devoted person beforehand, as my heart's desire is to always be faithful. The last two years were such a distraction to my heart and soul that I needed this year to heal and process all that the Lord taught me when I was clinging to Him with everything I had. 

For this coming year, the Lord is making it clear that the words on which He desires for me to ponder are praise and change.

Praise is craved. Praise is uplifting. Praise is effortless when life is going as planned.

While change is part of life, some can be viewed as welcome and exciting; others are overwhelming and exhausting.

The words of praise and change take me back to the fall of the year. Every year this season is a hectic time for me with school and other responsibilities. I rarely get the chance to view it at a slower pace. This past fall, the Lord gave me time to absorb and capture the color palette around me. It inspired my soul to view the colorful changes happening before my eyes. The Lord began to use these visual changes of fall to teach me about what He was preparing for me in the new year. 

The following photograph was taken long ago before so many changes happened near our home. This is a favorite picture to which I refer back to time and again. 

There is nothing like the peak season of the leaves showing off their brilliance. The beauty that is seen is majestic and photographic. It is a time of praise to our Creator for the glory He shows us before the winter season.

However, as I have photographed the grandness of the fall season, when viewing the details, the changing of the leaves looks more like the picture below - not so picture-perfect. I was going to do photoshopping on the leaves to fill in the holes and give a perfect view of the leaf. 

But the Lord stopped me and used the above picture to make me pause and think. He had something to show me for my own life. 

The view of the changing leaves from afar gives a delightful impression, but the accurate and up-close view can be ugly and distracting. Very few leaves I have photographed are perfectly colored and without some type of imperfection. The holes and misshapen areas are evidence that change is not always a thing of beauty. It is a performance of dying to what once was so that it can become new again.

As I look forward to the next year, I already see two changes coming our way because of devotion! Our children have found the one the Lord has for them and will be getting married in the late spring and mid-summer. That is praiseworthy! However, the life we have known for all these years will be forever changed. 

This Momma's Heart has been wrestling with that change. I have been devoted to my children since before they were born. As a Mom, I feel misshapen and left with holes that once were full of life. Just as in the fall season, the leaves fall and die to replenish the earth and get ready for the coming growing season, change is requiring me to fall from what I have been for so long, die to who I think I should be, and praise the Lord for what He will transform in me.

Change is part of this life. Change is beautiful. Change is hard and painful.  

But that is what praise in the change is all about - changing us from what we were to what we need to become. For the tree to mature, the old leaves must fall off and allow new growth to appear. The same happens in life - change causes our old selves to become something new, and in that process, praise goes to our Creator for how HE changes us. The best part of praise in the changing is that God never changes. Because He is always the same, any change in this life can be praised because He is faithful and stays the same. We can trust that the changes He is doing in us are for our good and His glory. 

So, join me in praising the Lord for change. His faithfulness allows us to look back and gaze on the overall beauty that change provides while not dwelling on what had to occur to view that beauty.

Malachi 3:6a (ESV)

For I the Lord do not change;

Psalm 59:17 (CSB)

To you, my strength, I sing praises, because God is my stronghold - my faithful God.

Focused Eyes

I am a strong visual learner, so my eyesight is a large part of how I experience the world around me. In the last couple of years, I tried to focus on what the Lord was allowing me to view of life. Like all those around me, I could only view what was right in front of me just to survive. It was literally a step-by-step process and there was no viewing of a bigger picture. There was no time to "stop and smell, or view, the roses." 

 

This year, the Lord has shown me how I can see Him again with more focused eyes. He has shown me how to look back on the last two years and see how He was always there focusing my vision even when I thought everything I saw was out of focus. 

 

And He revealed this deeper truth to me using a bee.

 

If you know me personally, you know how much I love to photograph God's Creation. The details always fascinate me. To view those details up close, I use my macro lens which allows me to view what I see with magnification. At different seasons I love to capture what is on display. This summer was no different and I had the chance to aimlessly wander around and view the beauty. As I was focused on certain plants, the bees caught my eye. They were everywhere doing their God-given job of pollinating and bringing new life to the world around us, so I began to photograph them.

 

Bees, like most insects, have three simple eyes and two compound eyes. They have the ability to see all colors except for red but can see lesser hues of red such as oranges or yellows. They also have the capability to see ultraviolet light which is not a feat for human eyes. The ability to see ultraviolet light allows the bee to see details hidden in the plants that are unseen to the human eye. Bees use their simple eyes to guide them in the right direction. Those simple eyes can use the sun, even on a cloudy day, to navigate where they are in their area, and it can also lead them back home. The compound eyes of the bee allow it to have the ability to focus on a plant even when it is windy or if there are other distractions. They never miss their mark and always do their purposed work.

 

As I kept photographing the bees, I could not help but think of the verse the Lord gave me for this year on which to meditate:

 

Psalm 119:37(CSB) - Turn my eyes from looking at what is worthless; give me life in your ways.

 

Sometimes I struggle to keep my eyes from looking at what is worthless. I focus on what is simply seen instead of using the compound eyes of Scripture to have a clear focus of what is shown to me. That lack of focus can happen through events in daily living, the news, social media, or the comparison trap.

 

The Lord used this verse, and the bees, to deepen my understanding of what He has been showing me in the past two years. There are a lot of worthless things in this world, but if I keep my eyes focused on the guiding light of the Son, even when it appears the clouds of life have covered Him, I will always be headed in the right direction. This "ultraviolet" focus will reveal details that can only be seen when viewed through the light of Scripture no matter the distractions surrounding my circumstances. I must trust that the Lord will use His ultraviolet light to reveal the details that can be easily missed with my humanness. I can then have a more abundant life because I am remembering my purpose is to glorify Him and do His work instead of focusing on what will not last.

So, see like a bee. 

 

Focus on the life-giving Word of the Lord and the worthless things will grow dim in the light of His glory and grace.

 

(Because bees fascinate me, if you want to read more about them, here is an article I read to understand them more: How Bees See and Why It Matters)

 

 

 

"Steer" Me the Right Way

In my last post, I was walking away from 2021 to finally breathe again... Little did I realize that one short day after I posted, I would have the privilege to breathe alright. 

Breathe while running around chasing steers!

On our little farm we now have three cows, a calf, and four steers along with the horses. 

That evening, a kind stranger came to the house, rang the doorbell, and shared with me that our "cows" were out. I froze. 

"Cows out? How can that be? They are in the pasture. Wait, cows are OUT!" 

Sure enough, it was the four steers. They had found a way to get out of the fenced area they were in and were "having the time of their lives" running up and down our main road, in the subdivision by our home (which used to be cornfields and pastures of our farm when I was growing up), and near the lake. Wesley had just moved them there a week or so before to give them a new area to graze. Light was fading fast and it was when rush-hour traffic was beginning!

Wesley and his friend were already trying to wrangle them back up the road to the pasture. As Steve and I turned the corner from our road to the main road, I see Wesley chasing one of the steers, who I am affectionately calling Gus, up the road. Quickly, the steer made a sharp left turn and was running through the neighborhood across the street from our place and Wes made the sharp left right along with him. Gus went all around that neighborhood, taking off across people's back yards, and finally heading off toward the lake again.

I get it, Gus. Living in some fenced in area with barbed wire does not seem like the perfect way of life. There is so much freedom on the other side of that restricted boundary! Freedom to run and eat the grass that is on the other side of the fence. Freedom to roam wherever you would want!

But what Gus and his buddies failed to see was that the fence kept them safe. It kept them safe from a busy road, vehicles, other people - and even themselves. They were fed twice a day, water was always provided, and enough grass or hay to munch on throughout the day. They really had it made - even if they thought they did not.

Chasing Gus continued for quite a while. The stinker was running all around trying to find his three other cohorts who had busted him loose but did not keep him close enough. Or maybe Gus just decided to find his own path and then realized he was lost and was running in circles.

All along, Wesley, and the rest of our family and friends, were doing what we could to find all four of those steers and bring them back the right way home. The steers thought they were fine, but we knew what could harm them out beyond the pasture.

All four finally found each other right by the lake. I was the one who got to "steer sit" while Wesley and the others came up with the plan to guide them back to the pasture. All I knew to do at that moment was pray. Pray that they would not go away from me, that Wesley could come up with a solution, and that the Lord would guide them back home. 

It was beginning to get dark and I was having a hard time seeing them when they began to move again. Wesley was in position to get behind them and push them, but he could only see so much in the darkness. We were all running around trying to make sure they were safe. As we were running up the road again, we hear Wesley say, "They're in! They're in!" I began running with the bucket of food to guide them to the other side of the fence. Steve was running telling everyone nearby to make sure the other gate was secured. 

Later as we were talking about how the steers finally came back the right way, Wesley said it was so dark he could hardly see them, but then, at the last minute, they literally turned and went straight back to the area from where they had escaped. They were so exhausted that they were glad to finally be back where they belonged. I knew right then that the Lord had guided them back home.

As I "steer sat" that day, I could not help but think of how Gus and the rest of those steers are just like me. 

I get irritated with the fenced-in area where the Lord has me and think that outside of those boundaries there is more life and freedom. I can quickly follow others, or what the latest news has just reported, and "escape" from the "pasture" where the Lord has placed me for that time. As I leave that safety, I begin to experience what happened to Gus. I run around frantically trying to find those "others" or the path I thought would be better, only to realize it is exhausting. If only I would just stay where the Lord puts me and realize He is taking care of me right there, I would not need to run. I actually have a lot of freedom in that pasture because it was where He placed me and He is always watching over me.

Before the steers had gotten out, the Lord had given me the word "devotion" upon which to meditate this year.  Psalm 119 has been my go-to passage of Scripture and the verse that really spoke to me for this year is Psalm 119:37. I put it on our mantle above the fireplace where we all could see it every day: 

Psalm 119:37 CSB

"Turn my eyes from looking at what is worthless; give me life in your ways."

How fitting that, on one of the last days of 2021, the Lord had me running to chase those steers to teach me this concept in a real-life way. Every day I drive by that pasture and it takes me back to that experience. Every day the Lord's truth continues to sink in more deeply. 

If I am not looking at the ways of the Lord, I am chasing worthless things. Those worthless things take away the freedom and safety that can only be found in the Lord. I must trust that the "pasture" where He has me for that time is the best place I can be. Running from it does not give me rest. It is exhausting. Only when I devote myself to spending time in His Word and staying close to His ways can I fully have life and be at peace where He has placed me. And if I do get out and begin looking at worthless things... He is chasing after me...encouraging me to come back to Him. When I call out to Him, He always finds me and "steers" me safely home.

How about you? Are you needing to be "steered" in the right way? Get lost in the Lord and His Word - not in this world. Stay content in the pasture where He has you and find life in HIS ways. 

Walking Away to Breathe

 I am walking away from this year. I am walking away with a much different perspective than a year ago. 

The picture below gives a picture of what this year has felt like in my walk. I have felt like I was on a beach with sand ebbing and flowing between my feet. I have felt the shells and rocks under my feet and was unstable as I tried to walk over them. My feet stumbled along the way on many occasions and at many points I felt that I would drown. I FELT all of those things. However, I just kept walking.

I have mentioned this in my writing before, but when Daddy became ready for hospice, a dear friend asked me what I was thinking, to which I replied, "I just want to keep walking away and never stop."

I know that walking is good for you. I know that walking produces endurance and strength. I know that walking allows the heart to get stronger.

I know....

....but even though I know how good walking can be, walking away from it all just has not seemed to happen. The walking has been laborious and I have found myself just trying to take the next step. 

As I am looking back on this year - and even just the last two years - I have found I have inwardly been wanting to walk away to breathe. I know I am not alone.

I have felt as if I have been holding my breath which does not help with the walking.

The Lord gave me "steadfast/faithful" as my word of meditation for this year. As I am walking away from another year of breath-holding, I truly say if it were not for the Lord's steadfast and faithful love, I would not have made it. I did not have the brain energy to do a lot of deep study in God's Word this year. I literally clung to Him with all I had.

He has kept me walking when I wanted to stop. 

He has kept me together when I felt like I was breaking and falling bit-by-bit on the road I was traveling.

He has understood my weakness and carried me when I had no energy to keep walking.

He has kept my mind focused on Him even when there were trip-hazards in my journey. 

He has truly been the rock-solid and faithful pathway as I have walked through this year of uncertainty, loss, and overwhelming stress. 

Because He is steadfast and faithful, HE KNOWS and while I was out walking recently, the Lord reminded me of His faithfulness in a song. Because He is faithful, I can KNOW He is always there.

I KNOW

by 

Hank Bentley / Michael David Weaver / Benji Cowart 

You don't answer all my questions

But You hear me when I speak

You don't keep my heart from breakin'

But when it does, You weep with me

You're so close that I can feel You

When I've lost the words to pray

And though my eyes have never seen You

I've seen enough to say

I know that You are good

I know that You are kind

I know that You are so much more

Than what I leave behind

I know that I am loved

I know that I am safe

'Cause even in the fire, to live is Christ, to die is gain

I know that You are good

I don't understand the sorrow

But You're calm within the storm

Sometimes this weight is overwhelming

But I don't carry it alone

You're still close when I can't feel You

I don't have to be afraid

And though my eyes have never seen You

I've seen enough to say

I know that You are good

I know that You are kind

I know that You are so much more

Than what I leave behind

I know that I am loved

I know that I am safe

'Cause even in the fire, to live is Christ, to die is gain

I know that You are good

You are good

I know

On my darkest day

From my deepest pain

Through it all, my heart, will choose to sing Your praise

On my darkest day

From my deepest pain

Through it all, my heart, will choose to sing Your praise

On my darkest day

In my deepest pain

Through it all, my heart, will choose to sing Your praise

I know that You are good

I know that You are kind

I know that You are so much more

Than what I leave behind

I know that I am loved

I know that I am safe

'Cause even in the fire, to live is Christ, to die is gain

I know that You are good

I know that You are good

I know

I will speak truth here - the year unfolding in front of me has resurrected some fear and wondering if I am going to stumble and fall through another. BUT...

The Lord has been so good and faithful throughout my walking through this year that I know He will do so in the next. I know that He is with me and is GOOD. 

Because He has been so faithful and good, my heart's cry for next year is devotion to Him. He has shown me from Psalm 119 that this is the passage where I will gain much wisdom from Him in the coming year. 

It has already brought me comfort as I have been walking through it in the last bit of time. I am excited for how the Lord will allow me to keep walking. And I will not necessarily be walking AWAY from stress and life, but walking TOWARD more intimacy with Him. Pursuing Him and walking alongside of Him to learn more from Him than just how to take the next step. Walking with the ability to inhale and exhale because I am tired of holding my breath. 

As I bid farewell to another year, I am choosing to walk away from 2021 and BREATHE.

Psalm 119:45 

I will walk freely in an open place

because I study your precepts.

Broken to Be Strengthened

It would be fair to say that no person likes being broken. Brokenness causes one to feel weak and vulnerable. It can make one feel out of control.

For the last couple of years, I have felt that brokenness has become as much a part of life as breathing. I have watched others suffer through broken dreams, health, or life in general. Our world has felt broken throughout the pandemic and the lack of community we have had to face. Personally, I have experienced a brokenness that I never fully grasped until I held my Daddy's hand as he slipped from this world, leaving his own broken body to become whole again in the hands of His Savior. I know I am not alone in that feeling...so many people I know have walked this same path in the last eighteen months.

For a time after the last school year and my Daddy's home going, I could only see the brokenness of my heart. I kept searching for Scripture to help me through it. I found some beautiful passages that stood out to me during that time:

Psalm 34:18 - The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.

Psalm 147:3 - He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.

Isaiah 61:1 -The Spirit of the Lord God is upon me, because the Lord has anointed me to bring good news to the poor; he has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to those who are bound;

While they were so beautiful, and ones to which I clung, what was interesting to me is that these Scriptures were the only ones I found that specifically spoke about the brokenhearted. At that point, I was so consumed in my broken heart that I was frustrated with the Lord for not having more verses referring to "brokenhearted" in Scripture. 

It was then that the Lord used a good friend to begin showing me why. 

A month to the day after my Daddy's passing was a hard one. School was now over and I had more time on my hands. The finality of his home-going was sinking in and I was crumbling as I had more time to be consumed with my broken heart. I wanted to stay in the broken pieces that had become my life. I was supposed to visit my friend that day but did not want to go. I had to make myself get in the vehicle and go see her. The Lord knew how much I needed her on that specific day and it still amazes me of His timing. This time to spend with her had been scheduled for a long while.

As I sat with her, falling apart on the inside and showing my brokenness on the outside, she so gently reminded me that I was trying to be strong on my own. Of course I was broken! I had just walked through a tough school year and the passing of my Daddy. But I needed to stop looking at the brokenness and see the strength of the Lord that had gotten me through it all. She reminded me I needed to rest physically and also REST in the Lord. 

This picture was one I had taken for a devotion years ago. I used my Daddy's hands because I always loved his hands and how strong they were. They were a common connection with anyone who met him because his hands could grip you so tightly you KNEW you had shaken his hand! He had been a dairy farmer for over 40 years so his hands were tough. He held that strength, even through his years of sickness and in hospice, until a day or so before he passed away. I held his hand as long as I was able throughout his last days. I clung to his strength. I was not quite sure what to do with myself when the strength left his hands and he was gone. 

When looking at this picture after Daddy's home-going, all I could see were the broken pieces in his hands. After my friend so gently reminded me it was not for me to be strong right now in my brokenness, but to let the Lord be my strength, I began to view this picture again for what I had originally desired to convey over a decade ago. I had missed out on the most important part - my Daddy's loving hands were holding the brokenness! Those pieces are resting in his hands.

The Lord used my earthly Daddy's hands to remind me of my Heavenly Abba Father's hands. The Lord was holding me in all my brokenness. HE would be my strength when I was falling apart. HE would be the One to hold me and allow my broken heart to rest in His strength and not my own. 

It was then that the Lord gently reminded me how many times the word "strength"is found in Scripture that deals with HIS strength and not human strength. I had been blinded to it because of life's circumstances. The Lord showed me deeper that I was looking at my brokenness from the wrong point of view - my own. I was focused on the broken pieces instead of on the hands underneath the brokenness that were holding me and giving me strength to keep going.

What I have continued to learn through this is that the Lord views brokenness differently. He sees that broken is actually more beautiful and useful than in its original state because it is depending on something else to hold it in place. While the breaking is overwhelming and debilitating at times, the end result is a deeper understanding that He holds us and we must be strengthened by HIM alone. The Lord knows what it feels like to be broken - He was broken for you and me on the cross:

I Corinthians 11:24 - And when he had given thanks, he brake it, and said, Take, eat: this is my body, which is broken for you: this do in remembrance of me.

I needed to remember He was broken for me so I can trust that He knows how to hold me.

After I began seeing the Lord's hands underneath my brokenness, the Lord began repeating this verse to my heart over the summer: 

The picture of Daddy's hands I took over a decade ago are able to be used again to show the Lord's truth. The hands of the Lord that are holding me will never lose their strength. I can always rest in them no matter how much my flesh or heart fail me because HE is my strength. 

Friend, how are you feeling right now? Are you only seeing the broken pieces? Are you struggling to find rest because the brokenness is overwhelming? Keep your eyes on the hands underneath your brokenness. They are what give you strength when your flesh and heart fail. They are forever. 

Rest in His strength.

Here is a song the Lord had me play on repeat over the summer. There is a bright side to being broken.

A Lesson in Shoes

I had gotten some new tennis shoes last fall. When I first got the shoes and exercise-walked in them I found that blisters appeared. However, because they were new shoes at that time I just figured that I was breaking them in and they would be fine in time. Well, the walking for exercise went by the wayside between rain, stress, and emotionally experiencing Daddy's home going. I knew when summer started they should have been "broken in" with regular use to help me get back into my exercise routine this summer. 

After my Daddy's death and the end of a stressful school year, I began walking for exercise again. I enjoyed walking four miles at a time - it was cathartic. I honestly wanted to just keep walking and never stop - I wanted to walk away from the pain and stress of the past year and begin to feel alive again. After I had walked those first four miles, I developed blisters on my feet! I thought my shoes had been worn enough to have gone through the breaking-in period and not be giving me blisters. I decided I was trying to walk too fast too soon and should just slow down and pace myself.

The next time I walked, I bandaged the blisters, used a balm on my feet to protect from more blisters, and tied my shoes up tighter to ensure they were not slipping. Unfortunately, I came home with even more blisters - and even irritated the blisters that I thought I had protected. It became so awful that I could not go for my walks and even struggled to stand in any kind of shoe! I felt like my time of healing came to an abrupt stop.

It was suggested to me that I get my shoes checked out because it appeared that the shoes were causing the problem and not how I was walking in them. I had bought these same types of shoes for so long that I did not know how they could be wrong for me, but I was willing to check it out. The guy that helped me at the shoe store showed me that the shoes I had were the correct type of shoe for how my feet are formed and how I walk. However, my shoes may not have been in the shape I assumed when I bought them. To be economical, I bought the shoes online and they were probably the ones released from a few years ago. He told me that shoes over a year old can be stored in warehouses that are not heat/cold controlled. The varying temperatures can actually break down the shoe and what you think you are buying is actually not what you thought! 

After purchasing new shoes - and a new brand - I began my walking again and my feet felt secure. My blisters were still there but protected. I finally was able to get back out and walk with strength and purpose. I still have the scars of those blisters at the time of this writing, but they are healing and revealing healthy skin.

As I began walking again, and was able to begin healing emotionally, mentally, physically, and spiritually, the Lord reminded me of this passage of Scripture: Ephesians 6:10-17

Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his might. 

Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil. 

For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places. 

Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand firm. 

Stand therefore, having fastened on the belt of truth, and having put on the breastplate of righteousness,  

and, as shoes for your feet, having put on the readiness given by the gospel of peace. 

In all circumstances take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming darts of the evil one; 

and take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God,

If your feet are not well, it causes the whole body to suffer. I struggled to stand on my feet when my blisters were inflamed - and it did not matter whether I was barefoot or wearing different shoes - my whole body felt them. Nothing I did on my own helped keep away the blisters - I had on the wrong shoes! This above portion of Scripture is recognizable for many believers. I have listened to many pastors preach on each one of these pieces of armor. As I dealt with my shoe problems this summer, I began to more deeply understand the shoes of our spiritual armor needing to be ones of PEACE. 

In the passage above, the Apostle Paul used the example of the Roman soldier to help convey the importance of putting on our Armor of God for the spiritual battles we face. The Lord has the armor ready for us, but we must choose to put each one on to protect us as we do battle every day. We definitely have to have on our "Belt of Truth" and "Breastplate of Righteousness" as they are foundational to our ability to fight spiritual battles successfully. However, I have found that the shoes do not always get the same discussions as those top two.

The word "stand" is used repeatedly in Ephesians 6:10-17. Obviously, a soldier would need to stand strong in the face of the battle - and we have to take stands in our spiritual battles. How do we stand well without the right shoes? How do we walk forward into battle with irritating blisters that have come from those wrong shoes? 

This caused me to ponder.

Am I wearing shoes in my spiritual battles that are the right fit but might be old models of the past?

Have the shoes been ones of things I learned a few years ago from God's Word? Had those gone through the hot and cold of trials in life and lost their stability so that as I began to walk my feet were not as secure as I once thought? 

Am I getting spiritual blisters on my feet because of those ill-fitting shoes? 

Where can I find shoes of PEACE?

I cannot depend on what was the "spiritual model" from years ago. Past spiritual models may cause friction of pride, depression, anger, or disobedience and create blisters that will inhibit me from standing and walking well in my spiritual battle. No matter what I may use to help heal the blisters on my own will fail if the shoes are the problem! 

The shoes of peace can only be found by staying close to God's Word and allowing Him to reveal the best fit for me at that time in my life. Only He can heal the blisters from the past and help me to stand firm while walking with Him.

What shoes are you wearing?

Beauty in the Chaos

My husband has the "green thumb" at our house. He always does an amazing job in the yard and I appreciate so much the beauty that I see as we walk up to our front door or drive up the driveway.

This year the flower planting took on a different twist. With our very stressful season of life he decided it would be easier to plant wildflower seeds in the flower beds by our front porch. I was excited to see what would happen with them and we began watching them grow. 

I trusted that what my husband had sown into the ground was really what he said. The problem we found is that they appear as just a lot of green plants at first and they all look the same! When they were first growing, I could not always recognize the wildflowers from the weeds, but my husband could recognize most of the weeds and was able to separate them out from the actual wildflowers. Even that became challenging as they got bigger! 

I would look out the front windows or sit on the porch looking at what was growing taller and taller. All that it showed was more mess than beauty. I began to wonder if anything was really going to come from this growing chaos. However, I had to remember that they are called "WILDflowers" for a reason! Let's just say the walk to our front door this summer has not been so neat and orderly!

Then, one day, a bloom appeared. It was only one. I was sitting at the dining room table which is right by the front porch and it captured my attention. The one bloom was going to be white and I decided to watch it for the next couple of days to enjoy the beauty unfold. It became like a daily present - to view the beauty that was happening in the midst of the chaos. I knew I needed to capture this beauty because I was not sure how many I would actually get to see! I was in awe while looking through my camera lens at what was being shown in the messy chaos. 

At first I thought the only flowers would be the white ones and was glad I was at least seeing some version of beauty, but each day a colorful variation of the original white flower began to open. During the growing times I looked at the growth of the original flowers and saw different flowers blooming underneath. I had to move back some of the taller stems and see them but they were there bursting forth with color and detail! Others really were hidden and I had to search for them. They were being overshadowed by the taller "mess" of the now-blooming wildflower. I even found out that some of the weeds intermingled through the wildness began to bloom and I began to appreciate their beauty as well.  

I decided to keep my camera close so that I could go out in the mornings and capture the newest surprises. What I thought was going to just be chaos ended up being one of the highlights of my days. There really was beauty in the chaos. I just had to look for it.

Through these wildflowers, the Lord has been showing me more of Himself. I have felt like my world has been in chaos for so long. I sometimes wonder if it will ever go back to being "orderly" again. 

Life can feel like how these wildflowers grow. Instead of life being "planted" decently and in order, the seeds of life are scattered in the ground and it becomes a messy time of growth. There are unwanted "weeds" of circumstances that come up in the middle of it all and it can be hard to know the difference between what has been planted and what is rising out of the soil wanting to choke out all that is rooted and growing. Chaos ensues and it can feel as if beauty will never come from any of it! 

Life certainly is wild and chaotic. It is important that we learn to trust where the Lord has planted us to see the beauty He has for us.

Sometimes the beauty is easy to see. 

Sometimes it takes searching to find the beauty because it can be overshadowed with the chaos. 

And sometimes beauty can even come from the weeds....just like this one I captured below.