Wednesday, March 25, 2020

Quarantine - Feelings In This New Normal

I decided to document some things I have been feeling as we have walked through this "new normal" of our quarantine because of the COVID-19. It happened so quickly that I have found myself almost going through stages of not really knowing WHAT I was feeling. I think it is important that we document what is happening in our lives to have a record of how things are right now - right down to our emotions.

As I have previously stated in posts, I am an introvert so being quarantined is not a bad idea in my mind and heart. I can be fine just hanging out at home. What I did not realize was how I would feel when we are being told you have to really STAY HOME. I kind of feel like this calf in the picture below: "HEY....what's happening outside of my pen?"



Some of the "new normal" in my life right now is not very different from regular normal.

I am still reading God's Word daily.
I am still doing laundry and dishes. 
I am still trying to keep my house clean.
I am still enjoying my reading of books and other leisure activities.
I am still trying to exercise in some way daily.
I am still teaching.


What I did not expect out of this "new normal" in my life right now is:

I feel distracted when trying to focus on the Lord and His Truths.....which has made me feel very frustrated!
I feel so emotional over not seeing my students.
I feel we have lost a lot of closure for the school year.
I feel grief over memories lost.
I feel anxious over the unknowns.
I feel anger - and a lot of times I am not sure why!
I feel unsettled in my spirit because nothing is as it was just two weeks ago and we do not know how long this will last.
I feel overwhelmed with all I hear in the news and what people post on social media (including anger and conspiracy theories...).




However, feelings are just that - FEELINGS.

We cannot trust them.

Feelings will lead you astray faster than a wayward sheep.

That is why the word HOPE has continued to resonate with me every new day in this quarantine. I am so grateful the Lord gave me that word for my 2020 year. 

I may have all of those feelings I listed, but, more importantly, I have HOPE in the One Who is control of it all. That is why I can rest in Him - and not in these circumstances.

I have been clinging to different parts of Scripture - in particular, Psalm 16 and Psalm 33.

Psalm 16:5-8 has been a passage I have read often these last few days:

The Lord is my chosen portion and my cup; you hold my lot. 
The lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; indeed, I have a beautiful inheritance.
I bless the Lord who gives me counsel; in the night also my heart instructs me.
I have set the Lord always before me; because he is at my right hand, I shall not be shaken.


The verse the Lord gave me to reflect upon in 2020 for the word HOPE is Psalm 33:22:

"Let your steadfast love, O Lord, be upon us, even as we hope in you."

Steadfast = Faithful

Because the Lord is our HOPE, He is faithful to be with us through all of this uncertainty. He is faithful to take care of us during this time that has become so strange to us.

But it was never strange to the Lord.

He knew all along what this world needed at this time for 2020.

HE. KNEW. 

So while we are wrestling with a lot of feelings that are happening in our lives right now, cling to the fact that HOPE is here and now - and it is through Jesus Christ.

As I thought on this post, I just love how the Lord pointed me to this last portion of Scripture I am sharing . I am thankful for His loving direction - even when it seems dark and full of uncertainties. Trust His Word - NOT your feelings.


Romans 5:1-5
Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. 
Through him we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in hope of the glory of God. 
Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, 
and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, 
and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.

No comments: