This Life I Live

***I have had the hardest time with this post.  I have struggled with putting into words what the Lord has taught me more deeply in the past few weeks.  I also struggled with the formatting.  I am trusting and praying the Lord will still use my feeble attempt for His glory.***

I have photographed these silos a zillion times throughout the years.  No matter the season or time of day - they have always been beautiful to me.

I can remember as a child watching my Daddy and Uncle cut silage and shoot it up into these last-standing monuments of days gone by.

I can remember smelling the silage juice and Mom telling me I had to "wear it off" when I had gotten into it after she told me not to!

I can remember the silage flying out the top as the wind carried some of it when it was being loaded into the silos - and it looked like it was snowing in August.

I can remember trying to climb them - and watching my Daddy climb them as if it were nothing. 

I can remember that we always called the taller one "Daddy" and the smaller one "Momma."

Good memories.  Good life.

Recently, those silos have become old and parts of the metal piping have fallen off.

The cement has cracked.

The re-bar is showing.

It causes sadness in my heart.

The Lord had to give me a deeper perspective in what I thought was my life.

The weekend of baking for the NC State Fair was interesting - we had a hurricane blow through.  Although we did not face what was dealt the coastal regions, we still had a lot of rain and wind.  Many lost power and more.  The Lord graciously allowed us to have power back and resume the baking.

In the evening of the Sunday, when we had almost finished up the baking, we felt/heard something that we knew was not "normal."  I will be honest, my first thought was that my Daddy had fallen again - he and Mom were down with us as we baked so we could share in making memories.  Thankfully, it was not Daddy.

However, whatever it was caused the whole house to shake.

We knew it was probably an issue caused by the hurricane.  We wondered what home nearby was affected.  What we saw when we went outside began to show me more deeply about this life I live.

One of the silos was different.  One of the silos was not right.

It was "Daddy" silo.

As we ran over to check out what had happened, we found that the base of the silo had imploded on itself.  That was what shook the house.  The lower 4-8 feet had crumbled and caused it to fall.  It was still standing, but with a lean.

It would never be the same again.

My heart was crushed as I realized this meant that the silo may have to be torn down.

At that moment - and for some days afterward - I felt as if my life - the farm, my Daddy, the silos, were all crumbling around me.  In fact,  it occurred to me that "Daddy" silo had fallen - and my own Daddy had fallen a year ago - and life really was not the same any longer.

As I had tearful moments because of how sentimental I am, the Lord began to deepen in my heart about this life I live.  

All these things on earth that have been so much a part of my life will pass away, crumble, and fall. What lasts is Who is IN me.

Christ.  

The Lord had actually been working on this in me for some time.  He had given me this verse in a new way a couple of years ago and I have been "chewing" on it ever since:

Galatians 2:20 ~  

I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself up for me.

Just like our silo, the Lord is continuing to allow my old self to crumble so that I may realize more and more that I must live my life by faith in the One Who gave His life for me.  

How many times do we put our faith in the things of this world that will one day go away?  These things are temporal, yet we hold on to them as if they give us life.

I was reminded recently through a sermon I heard from my Pastor, that when we find our life in Him we can have:

• Peace with God
• Access to God
• Hope with God
• Christian Character
• God's love within us

There is no way anything on this earth can compare to that growth of faith in the Lord!  

As I have contemplated what the Lord has shown me, He recalled this song to my heart.  I decided to make a video and put it with pictures of the farm. 
For most people, this would not be that special, but for me it is an understanding that I must lay down this life I live in the flesh, and continually trust and follow Christ.

What comfort to know that no matter what may fall away and crumble in this life, Christ lives in those who know Him, and He will never go away.