The Battlefield

There is a battlefield out there.

It is called "The Teen Years."

I have mentioned recently in my blog posts how parenting is not for the faint in heart.

I am continuing to learn that the "Teen Years Battles" are different in the fact that you are up against a battle of the heart.

When the kids were smaller, our boundaries we put into place for them sufficed because they knew that we meant what we said and said what we meant.

However, now we are finding that those boundaries are always questioned.  

Those boundaries are seen as unfair.

Those boundaries are seen as stupid.

My Mother's Heart has been desiring for the strength to still mean what I say and say what I mean, but do it where the heart is changed and a boundary is not just followed "Because I said so."

My Bible Study this summer has been on Gideon.

I always follow the Lord's leading when walking into the Christian Bookstore to find my next study.  He drew me to this one this year.

I will admit, that at first I wasn't understanding why He drew me to this one.  I felt stronger in the Lord than I had in years!  However, I have also learned in that strength the Lord has given me that I must TRUST He knows what I need before I really know it.

He was right.  As He always is.

I have taken this study and done many days in one sitting.  I just keep working until I see the Lord telling me to stop and "chew" on what He has shown me.  Sometimes this has been days of not doing the study so that I could grasp all He had given me in the previous study time.  Sometimes it has meant stopping in the middle of a day and coming back to it later.  (The old Kellie would have NEVER done that for fear of not doing it perfectly right....)

One thing I know for certainty, He always brings me back to it and draws me to Him on the day I need it.

He did just that this past weekend.

You see, summer so far has been pretty uneventful in the "Teen Battles."  The kids really are beginning to learn the value of hard work.  They are beginning to learn what is expected and accept that they are not always going to get what they want.  They are starting to grasp our desire to help them keep their purity before the Lord.

That is, until last week.

Was it the full moon waning, the sun blaring too hot or just a craziness escaping??  I don't know, but I began to hear complaining.... whining.... unthankfulness.... and coveting thoughts coming out of the mouths of my children.

Yes, they are normal.

However, my Mother's Heart was struggling.

When the subject of social media/personal phones came up and how they were *never* going to get any of that, I just used my normal, (ok, slightly UNnormal) dramatic humor to dispel the whining/complaining/unthankfulness.  I even pulled out a few moments of lip-syncing to draw out smiles and laughter instead of frowns and grumbling.

It was short-lived.

There continued to be grumbling over something not being good enough.  A covetous desire to dress in ways that we strongly feel are inappropriate (from this blog post) was oozing out of mouths.  A pull to be just like everyone else was forcefully making its way into my children's hearts.

This Mother's Heart was crumbling.

I am realizing more and more how I must put on the Armor of God each day as I parent.  I have to deflect not only the arrows of Satan, but the arrows from my children when they think we are being unfair.

On Saturday, I had the joy of having some alone time with the Lord that I had not gotten much of last week.  I began working on my Gideon study again after mulling over my previous study in it earlier in the week.  

The Lord knew I needed what I learned that day on THAT day.

Just like Gideon was facing a Midianite army of THOUSANDS upon thousands, I am facing the battlefield of the Teen Years and it scares me.   

I feel ill-equipped.

I feel weak.

I feel overwhelmed.

I began to cry out to the Lord to help me.

The Lord showed me, through Gideon's life, that He understands and He has the battle plan - I just have to listen and follow HIS lead.

As Gideon was only allowed to take 300 men into this battle,  I have a small "army" of my own learnings and experiences to face this huge battle of Satan wanting to draw my children into the world.

But the battle is not mine, is it?  The battle is the Lord's.

I have to take my weak, insecure self and place in my hands the empty, breakable pitcher (that's me), and put the light inside (The Light of the World - God), go out into the battle, and allow God to break me so that I may shine His Light for my children.

It isn't about ME, it's about HIM IN ME.

How has He already shown that and I just needed to take up the battle plan?

Prayer.

I must constantly pull on the strength from the Lord.  He has given me this verse in a new light recently:

I Thessalonians 5:17 - Pray without ceasing.

It is imperative that I keep giving it over to the Lord and call on His name to change their hearts.  I can say all I want and make as many boundaries as I want, but the Lord is the only One Who can change them from the inside-out.

Stay in His Word.

Gideon and his men shouted  "The Sword of the Lord and of Gideon!" when God caused the Midianite army to be defeated.  God's Word is my Sword.  It will guide me and be a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path in this "Battlefield of the Teens."  I must use it in the right way to teach them the value of the Sword in their personal battles without it becoming a battle of contention between us.

Ephesians 6:4

And, ye fathers, [mothers!] provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

These books:

This first one is one I have been reading recently and I heard about it through a Focus on the Family  interview with Dennis Rainey.  It is one Steve and I are able to learn from and use with both of our teens.  We live in a society today where it is not uncommon for the girl to pursue the boy fervently.  There is a great amount of temptation going on "behind closed doors" of school conversations/texts/instagrams/snapchats/facebook/emails.  I learned just how "clueless" my young man was this past weekend when we discussed this verse:

Proverbs 5:2-3

 For the lips of [an aggressive woman] drip honey
And smoother than oil is her speech;  But in the end she is bitter as wormwood,
Sharp as a two-edged sword.

I asked my precious one what he thought this verse was meaning so I could have a foundation of where to begin teaching it to him.  I knew the word picture might throw him.... He honestly thought it meant she needed to close her mouth when she ate because honey was dripping. 

I shared with him what the word picture meant.

He was still clueless.

I had to go into further detail.  

However, it was using the Sword of the Spirit to pierce his heart in the right way so that He will have his own Sword to use in his personal battles.

The next books are for young men specifically:

This one Steve has already been using with our young man.  It has been a tremendous help and one that they do together to give him the tools to fight his personal battles.   Even with God's Word and this book as a guide, we have found he still struggles.  The battle has only begun to keep him pure for his future wife the Lord will send him one day.

  This book is one they have not begun yet, but it is on the "next in line" wait list.  When I listened to the Focus on the Family program, Dennis Rainey commented on how important Proverbs is for our teenagers.  He shared that it was written by a father to a son.  OF COURSE!  I began searching and found this book.  I am planning on finding something like that for our young lady and I do to together.

These are for young ladies specifically:

I got this book last year for our young lady.  I have read most of it and she has read a lot of it.  When school began last year we became so busy with regular school that we could not converse about it as we had been.  However, the learning is still occurring.   In our modern world, brides wear white even if they have chosen to have sex outside of marriage.  I want her to understand how important that white dress is and what it is showing before her Lord on her wedding day.  There is a purity pledge in this book and she has taken it out and placed it on her magnetic board in her room. 

For my strong-willed young lady - the Lord has drawn me to this book.  We are in the middle of reading it right now.  Not only do I pray it is benefiting her as she reads it, but I am learning/reapplying truths to my own life.  There are questions that are used to help your young lady see that saying "Yes to God" is much better than saying "Yes to your own desires."  Our friends and the world around us can easily tempt us to follow our own path, but the Lord desires to show us His perfect path for our life.                                                                                                     Psalm 16:11

You will make known to me the path of life; In Your presence is fullness of joy; In Your right hand there are pleasures forever.

I may feel weak and not capable of this "Battle of the Teen Years", but the Lord has been showing me my weakness is His strength.  I have to be willing to break my own human reasoning and ideas (the pitcher) and let His Light shine through as I take seriously this battle against Satan's lies in my children's lives.

Deuteronomy 6:6-9 (The Message)

Write these commandments that I’ve given you today on your hearts. Get them inside of you and then get them inside your children. Talk about them wherever you are, sitting at home or walking in the street; talk about them from the time you get up in the morning to when you fall into bed at night. Tie them on your hands and foreheads as a reminder; inscribe them on the doorposts of your homes and on your city gates.

06/05/14

If you have been following me enough you know that Steve and I have been on a journey of weight loss and overall healthier living.  Through this journey we have actually GAINED.  Stay with me....

A year ago we looked like this..... too many pounds added....

Today, we look like this..... 25 pounds and 50 pounds and many inches down respectively.  

Our journey is far from over.

What have we GAINED through this journey thus far?  

Well, I'll be honest, we both have gained a few pounds in our fight to lose them.  Unfortunately, that seems to be the way things go in this journey.  I went for over a month doing "everything right", gained three pounds and then only lost one pound.  There have been weeks I have lost none.  Same applies to Sweet Man.  We have both had our struggles in this process, but have kept the faith that it WILL be different.

However, let's talk about other things that have been GAINED in this journey.  I will use myself as the example since I am thinking on what the Lord has taught me specifically.  (I know Sweet Man has had similar gainings, but I am keeping it "JUST ME" here.)

1.  Dependence.

Yes, you read that right.  Dependence has been something I have truly gained because I am learning that without my dependence on the Lord to walk with me day by day/minute by minute I would have given up long ago.  

I have especially found that the verse Philippians 4:13 has helped me on many days when I didn't want to continue:  "I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength."   I have had to repeat that verse to myself on many occasions when I felt too tired or was not sure why I was even doing this journey when I was seeing no results on the scale.

I have also learned that when I try to exercise and eat right in my own strength I have failed.  When I continually give it to the Lord to work in and through my journey, I have seen success.  This success was not always pounds lost, but strength to carry on in the journey.  It has been huge to have the strength to tell myself that I was not hungry because I HAD eaten, and in fact eaten more that day than most people in this world, or to remember I am doing this for my bodily health.

2.  Acceptance.

I am not talking about acceptance with others, although it has been nice to have people notice that I have lost weight.  

I am talking about acceptance of myself in the Lord.  Who I am in Him is learning I had to go on the journey from the inside out.  The Lord had to teach me that I needed to be good with who I am in HIM whether the outside was slim and trim or not.  I am reminded of this verse when thinking along those lines:

1 Timothy 4:8

For bodily exercise profiteth little: but godliness is profitable unto all things, having promise of the life that now is, and of that which is to come.

After learning that valuable lesson, the Lord could then begin to work on the outward part.  He had to help me see that I could do all things through Him.  I could help my body, His Temple, to be healthier on the outside as well because I had accepted who I am in Him.

3.  Confidence.

Not confidence in myself per say.  More of a confidence that I can do all things through Christ.  (Are you seeing a pattern here...?) 

I am learning through this that things I thought I would never be able to do, I CAN do!  Some of the exercises I have recently done or the foods I have chosen to avoid are only done through the confidence I have gained through Christ.  Believe me, I still do not consider myself a runner, but I have learned that running for short times is not so bad!  I have also found that I like jumping.... a lot. 

4.  Respect.

Again, this respect is not for me, but for those who are true athletes.  I know what it has taken me to get up off that couch and do hard things of exercise every day or use self-control in the area of food.  I have a much better understanding of what it takes those men and women who get out there and train their bodies.  It is HARD work. 

5.  Health.

I am learning that gaining my health is beyond important.  I have seen too many people, family members included, who have suffered because of food choices or lack of exercise.  I realize my life is in the Lord's hands daily, but He also gives me a brain to take care of what He has given to me.  

When I exercise now I remind myself that my heart is pumping, my lungs are working hard and that allows my blood to flow.  My brain is healthier for it, too.  I can tell when I have not been able to exercise for a few days (as I did recently because of end of school activities) because my thought processes are not as sharp.

And, oh, goodness.... I have never had muscle as toned as I do now.  Well, maybe when I was younger and a cheerleader, but I don't even think it was like I have now.  I also didn't pay attention then because I thought it would always be easy to have a lean body.  Now, that is funny....

My muscles are more toned and shaped and it is still weird to me to put my hands on my legs and feel that shape.  Does that sound weird?  I am sure, but just know it is exciting.  I am not saying I am ready to do body building and win competitions, but from what I was to where I am now... WOW.  

I still have a long way to go with this, but it is exciting to see my muscles working, heart and lungs included, as they were meant to work.  It is neat to see God's creation of the intricacies of my body to be put to use.

6.  Endurance.

If someone would have told me a year ago that me walking 6 miles during one time frame would be a piece of cake I would have laughed.  I now look at 6 miles like I used to look at 2 or 3 miles.  I can do it!  I am amazed at how long my body can actually exercise that I used to say I just couldn't do.  Again, I have not arrived and am not the best athlete, but I have gained much in this area.  

7.  Longevity.

I am gaining the true perspective of what this journey will be.  It isn't just for me to lose weight... it will be life-long.  I will be honest, some days I look at the broad picture of life and think of how I have to do this journey and it can be overwhelming.  But that is where the Lord has taught me to just take it one day at a time... with Him.

8.  Time Management.

I used to think I just didn't have that much time, especially during the school year, but the Lord has shown me I have more time than I think when I use it properly.  I have been amazed at how I have given up more unhealthy habits and replaced them with the time of exercise and how that has led to me getting everything I need to get accomplished.  There is always going to be laundry to do, dishes to wash, etc... but if I don't take care of my body the Lord has given me, I won't be able to get those things accomplished either.

9.  Energy.

Even though I am still exhausted with teaching all day, I do find I have more get-up-and-go than I used to have.  I can act silly with my students and not be out of breath.  I can be more active with my own family.  There is a pep in my step that I did not have before.

There you have it... and I didn't even come up with 10 on purpose because with the Lord's help I am continuing to learn how to let go of the stronghold of perfectionism. 

I pray YOU GAINED encouragement today to get out there and get a healthier body.  As one of my Exercise DVD instructors always says "You never regret the time you exercise."  

Take the time today to get healthier.  

What you GAIN is so much more than you lose!