The Battlefield

There is a battlefield out there.

It is called "The Teen Years."

I have mentioned recently in my blog posts how parenting is not for the faint in heart.

I am continuing to learn that the "Teen Years Battles" are different in the fact that you are up against a battle of the heart.

When the kids were smaller, our boundaries we put into place for them sufficed because they knew that we meant what we said and said what we meant.

However, now we are finding that those boundaries are always questioned.  

Those boundaries are seen as unfair.

Those boundaries are seen as stupid.

My Mother's Heart has been desiring for the strength to still mean what I say and say what I mean, but do it where the heart is changed and a boundary is not just followed "Because I said so."

My Bible Study this summer has been on Gideon.

I always follow the Lord's leading when walking into the Christian Bookstore to find my next study.  He drew me to this one this year.

I will admit, that at first I wasn't understanding why He drew me to this one.  I felt stronger in the Lord than I had in years!  However, I have also learned in that strength the Lord has given me that I must TRUST He knows what I need before I really know it.

He was right.  As He always is.

I have taken this study and done many days in one sitting.  I just keep working until I see the Lord telling me to stop and "chew" on what He has shown me.  Sometimes this has been days of not doing the study so that I could grasp all He had given me in the previous study time.  Sometimes it has meant stopping in the middle of a day and coming back to it later.  (The old Kellie would have NEVER done that for fear of not doing it perfectly right....)

One thing I know for certainty, He always brings me back to it and draws me to Him on the day I need it.

He did just that this past weekend.

You see, summer so far has been pretty uneventful in the "Teen Battles."  The kids really are beginning to learn the value of hard work.  They are beginning to learn what is expected and accept that they are not always going to get what they want.  They are starting to grasp our desire to help them keep their purity before the Lord.

That is, until last week.

Was it the full moon waning, the sun blaring too hot or just a craziness escaping??  I don't know, but I began to hear complaining.... whining.... unthankfulness.... and coveting thoughts coming out of the mouths of my children.

Yes, they are normal.

However, my Mother's Heart was struggling.

When the subject of social media/personal phones came up and how they were *never* going to get any of that, I just used my normal, (ok, slightly UNnormal) dramatic humor to dispel the whining/complaining/unthankfulness.  I even pulled out a few moments of lip-syncing to draw out smiles and laughter instead of frowns and grumbling.

It was short-lived.

There continued to be grumbling over something not being good enough.  A covetous desire to dress in ways that we strongly feel are inappropriate (from this blog post) was oozing out of mouths.  A pull to be just like everyone else was forcefully making its way into my children's hearts.

This Mother's Heart was crumbling.

I am realizing more and more how I must put on the Armor of God each day as I parent.  I have to deflect not only the arrows of Satan, but the arrows from my children when they think we are being unfair.

On Saturday, I had the joy of having some alone time with the Lord that I had not gotten much of last week.  I began working on my Gideon study again after mulling over my previous study in it earlier in the week.  

The Lord knew I needed what I learned that day on THAT day.

Just like Gideon was facing a Midianite army of THOUSANDS upon thousands, I am facing the battlefield of the Teen Years and it scares me.   

I feel ill-equipped.

I feel weak.

I feel overwhelmed.

I began to cry out to the Lord to help me.

The Lord showed me, through Gideon's life, that He understands and He has the battle plan - I just have to listen and follow HIS lead.

As Gideon was only allowed to take 300 men into this battle,  I have a small "army" of my own learnings and experiences to face this huge battle of Satan wanting to draw my children into the world.

But the battle is not mine, is it?  The battle is the Lord's.

I have to take my weak, insecure self and place in my hands the empty, breakable pitcher (that's me), and put the light inside (The Light of the World - God), go out into the battle, and allow God to break me so that I may shine His Light for my children.

It isn't about ME, it's about HIM IN ME.

How has He already shown that and I just needed to take up the battle plan?

Prayer.

I must constantly pull on the strength from the Lord.  He has given me this verse in a new light recently:

I Thessalonians 5:17 - Pray without ceasing.

It is imperative that I keep giving it over to the Lord and call on His name to change their hearts.  I can say all I want and make as many boundaries as I want, but the Lord is the only One Who can change them from the inside-out.

Stay in His Word.

Gideon and his men shouted  "The Sword of the Lord and of Gideon!" when God caused the Midianite army to be defeated.  God's Word is my Sword.  It will guide me and be a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path in this "Battlefield of the Teens."  I must use it in the right way to teach them the value of the Sword in their personal battles without it becoming a battle of contention between us.

Ephesians 6:4

And, ye fathers, [mothers!] provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

These books:

This first one is one I have been reading recently and I heard about it through a Focus on the Family  interview with Dennis Rainey.  It is one Steve and I are able to learn from and use with both of our teens.  We live in a society today where it is not uncommon for the girl to pursue the boy fervently.  There is a great amount of temptation going on "behind closed doors" of school conversations/texts/instagrams/snapchats/facebook/emails.  I learned just how "clueless" my young man was this past weekend when we discussed this verse:

Proverbs 5:2-3

 For the lips of [an aggressive woman] drip honey
And smoother than oil is her speech;  But in the end she is bitter as wormwood,
Sharp as a two-edged sword.

I asked my precious one what he thought this verse was meaning so I could have a foundation of where to begin teaching it to him.  I knew the word picture might throw him.... He honestly thought it meant she needed to close her mouth when she ate because honey was dripping. 

I shared with him what the word picture meant.

He was still clueless.

I had to go into further detail.  

However, it was using the Sword of the Spirit to pierce his heart in the right way so that He will have his own Sword to use in his personal battles.

The next books are for young men specifically:

This one Steve has already been using with our young man.  It has been a tremendous help and one that they do together to give him the tools to fight his personal battles.   Even with God's Word and this book as a guide, we have found he still struggles.  The battle has only begun to keep him pure for his future wife the Lord will send him one day.

  This book is one they have not begun yet, but it is on the "next in line" wait list.  When I listened to the Focus on the Family program, Dennis Rainey commented on how important Proverbs is for our teenagers.  He shared that it was written by a father to a son.  OF COURSE!  I began searching and found this book.  I am planning on finding something like that for our young lady and I do to together.

These are for young ladies specifically:

I got this book last year for our young lady.  I have read most of it and she has read a lot of it.  When school began last year we became so busy with regular school that we could not converse about it as we had been.  However, the learning is still occurring.   In our modern world, brides wear white even if they have chosen to have sex outside of marriage.  I want her to understand how important that white dress is and what it is showing before her Lord on her wedding day.  There is a purity pledge in this book and she has taken it out and placed it on her magnetic board in her room. 

For my strong-willed young lady - the Lord has drawn me to this book.  We are in the middle of reading it right now.  Not only do I pray it is benefiting her as she reads it, but I am learning/reapplying truths to my own life.  There are questions that are used to help your young lady see that saying "Yes to God" is much better than saying "Yes to your own desires."  Our friends and the world around us can easily tempt us to follow our own path, but the Lord desires to show us His perfect path for our life.                                                                                                     Psalm 16:11

You will make known to me the path of life; In Your presence is fullness of joy; In Your right hand there are pleasures forever.

I may feel weak and not capable of this "Battle of the Teen Years", but the Lord has been showing me my weakness is His strength.  I have to be willing to break my own human reasoning and ideas (the pitcher) and let His Light shine through as I take seriously this battle against Satan's lies in my children's lives.

Deuteronomy 6:6-9 (The Message)

Write these commandments that I’ve given you today on your hearts. Get them inside of you and then get them inside your children. Talk about them wherever you are, sitting at home or walking in the street; talk about them from the time you get up in the morning to when you fall into bed at night. Tie them on your hands and foreheads as a reminder; inscribe them on the doorposts of your homes and on your city gates.