When the Lord graciously allowed us to have these two precious ones after years of trying, I wanted to hold on tight to the moments and memories we would share. Our house became full all at once when they were born. We had to learn, like everyone else, how to do this thing called parenting. I just feel like the four pictures below happened in a blink of an eye.
Our firsts were also our lasts at the same time. Maybe that is why their High school graduation is hitting me as hard as it is? Is it because this is the first and last time we will walk this path? Is it because I know things will change forever or is it the sentimental aspect of being their Momma? I honestly do not know.
I feel I must share the feelings that are welling up inside that need a place to rest. I am here to share my heart and what the Lord has taught me as I learned how to be their Momma. The days may have seemed long but those years were certainly short now that I look back on them. I missed a lot of moments having to work during the first five years of their lives, so having them come with me to school for the past 14 years has been something I have not wanted to take for granted. I am finding those memories are the hardest right now. I am going to miss them being "with" me every day.
However, the Lord is good and He has shown me that I can look back and see so many things He has taught me because of the two children He allowed us to have.
So what has the Lord taught me through the years?
The minute they were born I knew my life was going to be different, but I could never have dreamed by how much.
Strange as this may seem, I will always miss carrying them inside of me. I had waited so long to feel those precious movements and I cherished them.
Each day made me realize how much I did not know about being a Momma.
Each day taught me what it is to be a Momma.
They may have been twins, but they were totally different and I had to learn to figure out the best way to handle each one.
When I thought I had figured them out, something would change and I would have to start over again.
Just because you are a teacher and you do know a lot about kids, you have to see things differently as a Momma.
I began to learn what unconditional love is and how I should show it.
I saw myself as God's child so much differently and it gave me a new appreciation for all the Lord had done for me.
When our children had to repeat Kindergarten it was actually the best thing ever even though at the time I thought it was the hardest thing I would do.
I found out repeating Kindergarten was a piece of cake compared to what was ahead of us.
The Lord was always there in the younger years helping me see how He was growing our two - even though I did not fully understand a lot of it until now.
I found myself learning more about how to parent God's way instead of what I thought was the best way. In that learning, I learned more about God's love for me as well.
I could not help with the Math after third grade without doing some tutoring for myself.
Fourth grade NC Projects will go down in History as the "Project to Remember".
Middle School is not for the faint of heart.
I had to prepare for the Middle school years with my son more than my daughter. Whew.. hormones are something.
Driving with twins at the age of 15/16 is also not for the faint of heart. I lost a lot of "9 lives" with near mailbox catastrophes.
I actually handled the driving with more grace and patience than their father. :)
Your children need you more in Middle/High School than you ever thought they would in the younger years and Elementary.
Even when our teenagers had the "teenage attitude", the Lord taught me that this was the "Age of Opportunity" - every moment was a gift to use in growing them - and growing me.
I realized how many idols I had in my own life when I was trying to help my teens see the idols in theirs.
Praying for your children allows the Lord to change them.
You cannot change your teenagers with a bunch of rules. They need to know you love them for more than the following of one.
I REALLY saw how much the Lord shows grace and mercy to me every day when I saw myself in my teens.
I began to see how the Lord would have me go through something and dig into His Word for a solution only to see the same Scripture would apply for the kids' troubles or needs soon after. That still amazes me.
Struggling is a part of life. Struggles are what grow us. Struggles are good.
Failure is only when you stop trying.
Do hard things - and do them alongside your children.
Doing hard things with your children make memories that will last forever.
I began to fully realize that God's plan for my children was far greater than any plan I may have had.
I began to let go and show them that the Lord was the One who would never leave them or forsake them.
I had to continue letting go and help them understand that while I might have advice, and I am here anytime they need me, the Lord is the One who will guide their path.
It was imperative to point them to Scripture and remind them that with Christ they can do all things.
I soon realized just how much they watched my own walk with the Lord. They watched me as I spent time with the Lord. It was humbling.
I had to trust the Lord that He would do abundantly beyond all that we could ask or think.
Seeing your children turn into young adults and use the gifts God has given to them is truly awe-inspiring.
Waiting is hard, but waiting on the Lord is always the best.
There was nothing like having them "with" me at school for 14 years. I will always cherish the memories of rides to school (even when they made me late), seeing them around campus, times they would pop in my room in the middle of the day, and even the complaining moments of wanting to go home at the end of the day. Being a teacher's kid is hard. I loved every minute of those 14 years.
I am so grateful for all the Lord has taught me so far through my children. I know He still has so much to teach me and I desire to learn from Him. I am looking forward to the new beginnings and how the Lord will continue to work in their lives....
...until then, can someone please just pass the tissues and allow this Momma some moments of tears and sweet times of remembering?
When it is time to leave the nest, my Momma's heart understands that I am to let go and allow the Lord to be the wind beneath their outspread wings.
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