What is TRUTH?

"What is truth?" - Pontius Pilate asked that of Jesus right before the crucifixion. (John 18) 

Years ago I heard a pastor speak on this passage and it has replayed in my heart ever since. I have had a yearning to understand more of the truth. To know what is truth, one has to look to the standard of truth. In fact, the Lord gave me "truth" as my "word" upon which to meditate this year.

Scripture teaches us where that truth lies. However, now, more than ever, in our "Information Age" information is easily accessible that can give an abundance of knowledge, but is it really truth? It is easy to believe something without finding out if it is actually true or not. Knowledge can have a small amount of truth but be filled with lies. And we are all susceptible to falling for it. When the world touts that it's "all about YOU" it is easy to get pulled into lies that lead us further from the truth. We want to know the truth, but too often we want it to be OUR truth.

Isn't that what happened in the Garden of Eden with Adam and Eve? They believed the serpent who said to them, "Did God really say....?" The truth was twisted ever so slightly. Adam and Eve, who had a full and perfect relationship with their Creator, began to fall for the lie that they could know more than their Creator. They could be their own truth. They were in charge of knowing what was right and wrong based on what they felt at the time.

We see it today all around us. Influencers, social media, the news - they all have a basis for "their" truth.

So back to my original question: "What is truth?"

As I have searched the Scriptures alongside the views of what those in the world's system think, I have repeatedly been shown that truth is only found in the Lord. The world is "very loud" with all its opinions and descriptions that "my truth isn't your truth and your truth isn't my truth." 

Am I listening and seeking what the world's confusion and constant changing tells me or am I seeking truth from the Standard that never changes?

Truth cannot be what I think, feel, say, or do. It cannot be what the latest influencer is touting. It cannot be what the modern philosophers view as truth. Truth must be based on a standard that never changes because if your truth is not my truth, then how will we ever know what is truth? Humans are not autonomous - we did not create ourselves nor will we ever be greater than our Creator. How often do we say to God, just like the serpent in the Garden - "Did God really say?..." We want control. We want our own truth. 

God in His love, gave us His Word which has been preserved for thousands of years. The truth of what it says today is what He spoke to be written by 40 different authors over 1,500 years. Search it out. It is possible to understand and know that God's Truth is THE Truth.

The Lord gave me this verse from Psalm 86:11 on which to meditate this year:

Psalm 86:11 CSB - "Teach me your way, Lord, and I will live by your truth. Give me an undivided mind to fear [respect] your name."

Satan wants to divide now just as much as he did in the Garden. He wants our minds to be in so many different places, hearing so many different ideas and thoughts, that we can become overwhelmed and feel as if we can never know what is truth. 

The Lord unites us with His truth and when we study His Word and live by HIS truth, we will find that the confusion settles and our minds can fully comprehend how He has loved us and provided a way for us to know Him. 

Your truth and my truth will never matter in the view of eternity. What is searched for in this fallen world cannot provide what we desperately need.

Search the Scriptures - for in them you will find life, stability, peace, and TRUTH.

Fighting for Fake Pearls

I have been fighting to keep fake pearls. Let me explain.

If you have read my previous post, you know that our family has been praying for specific things. The Lord, in His wisdom, told us "no" to what we thought should be "yes" and "yes" to what we wanted to be "no."

It involves our son and his wife moving. Our precious newest daughter was accepted to a Vet School out of state. 

OUT OF STATE.

For this Momma, that has been a wrestling match for sure. I have never been far away from my children. I realize I am no different or more special than others who have to face the same things. It is just that we have never had anyone close to our immediate family to move so far away - this is new territory for sure! 

After having a few months to be still before the Lord and work through this plan the Lord has for them, I thought I was doing quite well with it all! I truly was feeling a "peace that passes all understanding."

But, the Lord revealed to me I had still not given up the fight.

If you know our son personally, you know that his dream has always been to raise beef cattle. He has worked hard to begin his business and make his dream a reality. His little herd was growing!

But then, our "NO" came - the Lord was allowing the move. While we were learning to accept this new plan, our son (and the rest of us, really) began asking: How could he take the beef cattle with him? Where would there be land near their new area of living while they are away with Vet School? 

Everywhere our son looked, called, contacted, and inquired, the answer came back with nothing available or no answer at all. My mind and heart were calling out to the Lord and asking Him to just make a way! God had not given him this dream, these beef cattle with all of his hard work, just to take it all away, had He? 

Then one night in my devotions before bed, the Lord had me read a verse that I have loved and have taught others many times. 

Psalm 46:10a - “Be still, and know that I am God." 

BE STILL. I have been still before the Lord during this whole process trying to accept all He has planned. But that night, it revealed a truth I had not wanted to see. In reading the CSB, Psalm 46:10a translates this way: 

Stop fighting, and know that I am God,

Here is the truth the Lord showed me: I was still fighting His plan. You see, our son told us he realized he would have to sell the cattle, and probably his little stock trailer he had restored. 

• The cattle for which he had worked so hard.
• The cattle that made me still feel close to my Daddy - as if part of him was still here on the land.
• The cattle where I could watch my son, my Daddy's namesake, work with those cattle like Daddy used to do.
• The little stock trailer he bought and restored to use with those cattle.
• The little stock trailer he painted red - Daddy's favorite color.
• The cattle that was my son's future.

On the outside, I was moving forward with the Lord's plan but inside I was fighting Him. I was still holding on to a part that I thought I knew was best. I was still forgetting I am NOT God.

Not long after reading this verse, the Lord recalled a little story I had read a long time ago. I have not been able to find the author, but here is the story:

Jenny and the Pearl Necklace - author unknown

"The cheerful girl with bouncy golden curls was almost five. Waiting

with her mother at the checkout stand, she saw them: a circle of glistening

white pearls in a pink foil box. “Oh please, Mommy. Can I have them?

Please, Mommy, please?”

Quickly the mother checked the back of the little foil box and then looked

back into the pleading blue eyes of her little girl’s upturned face.

“A dollar ninety-five. That’s almost $2.00. If you really want them,

I’ll think of some extra chores for you and in no time you can save enough

money to buy them for yourself. Your birthday’s only a week away and you might

get another crisp dollar bill from Grandma.”

As soon as Jenny got home, she emptied her penny bank and counted

out 17 pennies. After dinner, she did more than her share of chores and she

went to the neighbor and asked Mrs. McJames if she could pick dandelions for

ten cents. On her birthday, Grandma did give her another new dollar bill and

at last she had enough money to buy the necklace.

Jenny loved her pearls. They made her feel dressed up and grown up. She wore

them everywhere – Sunday school, kindergarten, even to bed. The only time she

took them off was when she went swimming or had a bubble bath. Mother said if

they got wet, they might turn her neck green.

Jenny had a very loving daddy and every night when she was ready for bed,

he would stop whatever he was doing and come upstairs to read her a story.

One night when he finished the story, he asked Jenny, “Do you love me?”

“Oh yes, Daddy. You know that I love you.”

“Then give me your pearls.”

“Oh, Daddy, not my pearls. But you can have Princess – the white horse

from my collection. The one with the pink tail. Remember, Daddy? The one

you gave me. She’s my favorite.”

“That’s okay, Honey. Daddy loves you. Good night.” And he brushed her cheek

with a kiss.”

About a week later, after the story time, Jenny’s daddy asked again,

“Do you love me?”

“Daddy, you know I love you.”

“Then give me your pearls.”

“Oh Daddy, not my pearls. But you can have my baby doll. The brand new

one I got for my birthday. She is so beautiful and you can have the yellow

blanket that matches her sleeper.”

“That’s okay. Sleep well. God bless you, little one. Daddy loves you”

And as always, he brushed her cheek with a gentle kiss.

A few nights later when her daddy came in, Jenny was sitting on her bed

with her legs crossed Indian-style. As he came close, he noticed her chin

was trembling and one silent tear rolled down her cheek.

“What is it, Jenny? What’s the matter?”

Jenny didn’t say anything but lifted her little hand up to her daddy. And when

she opened it, there was her little pearl necklace. With a little quiver, she

finally said, “Here, Daddy. It’s for you.” With tears gathering in his own

eyes, Jenny’s kind daddy reached out with one hand to take the dime-store

necklace, and with the other hand he reached into his pocket and pulled out a

blue velvet case with a strand of genuine pearls and gave them to Jenny. He

had them all the time. He was just waiting for her to give up the dime-store

stuff so he could give her the genuine treasure."

After reading this story again, the Lord reminded me that I was fighting Him so I could hold onto my son's dream the way I pictured it. I just never realized I was holding onto a strand of fake pearls. In the Lord's love and plan, He wants to give our family something of more value but I have still been holding tightly to and fighting for what I wanted to keep - those fake pearls. 

Even though we cannot see it all right now, He still has our son and new daughter in His hands and HE will do for them out of state more than WE could do or control here. 

To continue growing me, the Lord led me to my next devotion which was on the book of Habakkuk. Habakkuk was a prophet in Judah in the days before Babylon captured it. He was struggling with what the Lord was doing in sending His people away from their land. In the end, after the Lord so gently reminded Habakkuk of His plan, Habakkuk realized he just had to wait for the Lord's timing and realize God was not abandoning them - HE was in control. Here is what Habakkuk writes in chapter three verses 17-19a regarding what the future would hold for Judah while they were in captivity away from the land:

"Though the fig tree does not bud and there is no fruit on the vines, though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food, though the flocks disappear from the pen and there are no herds in the stalls, 

yet I will celebrate in the Lord; I will rejoice in the God of my salvation! 

The Lord is my strength;"

Habakkuk was seeing that even though the land would be desolate for those years of captivity, his hope was not in those things. His hope would only come through the Lord's strength.

Those fake pearls I have been fighting to hold must, through open hands, be willingly released to the Lord. Even though there will be no herds in the pastures of our land right now, even though things will be so different, "yet I will celebrate" and rejoice in the salvation and strength of the Lord who always knows what is best. He is waiting to give us what has greater value.

A Rainbow and Praying for NO

I took this photo late last summer or early fall. I was taken aback by the beauty I could see from the rainbow with the dark clouds behind it. Where the blue skies and sun were clearly shining, the beauty could not be seen as much. I have recently learned a lesson from this picture.

I think everyone knows it takes the sun (light) and rain (water) to make a rainbow. Sometimes we get so caught up in the beauty of the rainbow we forget there had to be rain to make it. With rain comes dark clouds.  

My family and I have prayed specifically for the Lord to work something out the way we just knew it would be best for our family. Of course, we were seeing everything from the here and now. The Lord, Who created this rainbow, sees things in such a way we could never experience with our finite minds. We humans so often fail to remember that. My family and I surely did.

Our prayer at first was YES. Yes, Lord, let this perfect plan come about so our family can shout your praises about how you worked all things out in miraculous ways! We had it all figured out as to how perfect everything would be as it fell into place. 

But then, the answer was "NO." 

"NO? Really, Lord? NO?... But.... it was such a PERFECT plan and WE thought...."

"Ok. Well, if NO is what you are saying, then for this next thing we are waiting to hear about and praying for surrounding our family, we will pray NO."

As my family and I were praying over these answers, I began to read a book entitled God is Able by Priscilla Shirer that broke down Ephesians 3:20-21:

Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think, according to the power that works within us, 

to Him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus to all generations forever and ever. Amen.

I was thrilled to realize this set of verses was what the book was about. I had claimed this group of verses several years ago when our son went through a learning program to help strengthen his cognitive skills. I just knew this was the Lord showing me He was going to answer our prayers in the way we wanted. I was reading it thinking that it would give me the wisdom to help others when they were waiting for the Lord to answer a prayer. I was going to be shouting for joy that the Lord did far more abundantly beyond all we could ask or think in this situation!

As I kept going to the Lord and praying fervently over my family, my prayer request one morning at school with my fellow teachers was exactly: "I am praying for NO."

And this time the Lord answered my request the way I prayed! Sortof....

 He told ME: "NO, Kellie."

 

The circumstance we were praying for the "no" actually received the "YES." 

"NO for me and the prayers of my family? A 'yes' for the other? But.... I asked for NO this time! Really, Lord? Really?" 

I began to wrestle with the Lord. I was the strong-willed one wrestling with the Creator. I was angry that He did not answer the prayer as I had wanted. I had forgotten so quickly how little I am and how big my God is. The creature was telling the Creator what to do. The finite one was telling the infinite One what should be happening.

When life reflects only the blue and clear sky I cannot see those promises of His truth. I want the rainbow - but without the dark clouds and rain. I want MY answer but without any struggle or pain. After wrestling with the Lord He began to show me through the dark clouds of my Momma's heart that His promises never fail and I can actually see them better because of the darkness, struggle, and pain.

Promises such as: 

Ephesians 3:20-21 (NASB) quoted above but let's see it again: 

Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think, according to the power that works within us, 

to Him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus to all generations forever and ever. Amen.

I Corinthians 2:9 (ESV)

But, as it is written, "What no eye has seen, nor ear heard, nor the heart of man imagined, what God has prepared for those who love him”

Isaiah 55:8-11 (ESV)

For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord.

For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.

“For as the rain and the snow come down from heaven and do not return there but water the earth, making it bring forth and sprout, giving seed to the sower and bread to the eater,

so shall my word be that goes out from my mouth; it shall not return to me empty, but it shall accomplish that which I purpose, and shall succeed in the thing for which I sent it.

As the heavens are higher than the earth and as the rainbow stretches out above the earth I stare up at its majesty. His thoughts are not my thoughts. I cannot see what the Lord sees. I have to trust Him that his "NO" is the best. 

The rain still falls from my eyes regarding His "NO." But, I trust Him and await the rainbow of His promises as the water from my eyes mixes with the Light of His Word to view the splendor that is above and beyond all that we could ask or think for our family.

And to HIM will be the glory.

Pouring In

My son was doing maintenance on his truck last summer and changing the oil. He found the diesel oil, checked it, smelled it, and looked at it and all seemed normal. He poured it into his engine and went on with his day. As the day wore on his truck began to act really strange and was not running properly. By the next day he had to park the truck as the engine froze. 

He could not understand what had happened until he went back to the diesel oil container and looked at it again comparing it to other liquids in the barn. He found that what he thought was diesel oil in that container was actually weed killer. What he thought was real diesel oil had actually been an empty container that had been used in the past couple of years as a storage place for extra mixed weed killer - but had not been marked as to what was truly in the bottle. 

It looked like the real thing and he said it even felt like the real oil, but it killed his engine. His truck was totaled. What he thought he was pouring in to help his motor actually ended up being detrimental. 

He and I have discussed many times how applicable his issue with his truck is to our spiritual lives. How many times have we poured in something to our "spiritual engines" that looked, smelled, and felt right, only to find out it was "spiritual weed killer?"

There are many things in this world that we pour into our lives each day: social media, the news, music, podcasts, day-to-day conversations, etc.. What we pour into our lives will either strengthen and maintain our "spiritual engines" or it will cause them to lock up and die.

This year my heart has been focused on pouring in TRUTH and how important it is to search for it. There are a lot of "truths" out in our world, but can they really ALL be a truth when they are saying different things? What my son thought was "true oil" turned out to be something totally different and destructive. I cannot help but think of all we see and hear that permeate our minds and hearts. There can be things that seem to be good for us to pour into our lives, but in the end they leave us spiritually weakened and destroyed.

The Lord has been impressing more and more on my heart that I must go to His Word for truth and life. In His Word He tells us how HE made this world. It is His creation and He knows the beginning from the end. God's truth is how we can hold on when things are dark and heavy. It is there we find ways to praise Him when the days are easy and our burdens are light. His truth will lead you the right way when the unexpected happens and you do not know how the next step will be taken. His truth is the light in the darkness, the balm to the soul, the "correct oil for our spiritual engines." 

God's TRUTH is what 

guides, 

heals, 

saves, 

calms,

frees,

moves,

FILLS.

I want to be pouring God's Word into my life and heart so much as I maintain my "spiritual engine" that I am safe from becoming spiritually destroyed because I am filled with TRUTH. 

John 10:10 (NIV)

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.

Psalm 86:11 (CSB)

Teach me your way, Lord,

and I will live by your truth.

Give me an undivided mind to fear your name.

The way the Lord worked out my son's truck situation is something amazing - insurance paid off most of what was left. While for a time my son had no truck, my family saw the Lord work for him as he spoke the truth of his circumstance and let the Lord work out the details. As we clung to the Lord and His TRUTH, He poured into my son the ability to trust Him when all seemed lost. He also showed ME what it meant to use His truth to pray over a circumstance.

So, what are you pouring into your "spiritual engine?" 

Seek His Word first. God's TRUTH will always be worth pouring over and into your life. 

Quiet Christmas Meditations

This Christmas is quiet.

There are not the sounds of little (or big) feet constantly going back and forth in the house. Having constant busyness the few days before Christmas has not happened this year as it has in the past. In fact, I have spent more time alone since I finished my first semester of school than I can ever recall. 

Life has certainly changed this year with both of our kids getting married and us now experiencing the empty nest. There are days that I am not certain what to do with myself and all of this TIME I had always so desperately wanted. While I have enjoyed the quiet and am thankful for a time of recharge, there is something surreal about where my heart is this Christmas. My Momma's heart has been full but yet empty at the same time.

For many years, this verse has repeatedly played in my heart at Christmas because of so many changes that have been taking place with our kids getting older and nothing staying the same.

Luke 2:19 (CSB)  

But Mary was treasuring up all these things in her heart and meditating on them.

For those who personally know me, I am a deep thinker. I enjoy getting lost in my thoughts. Sometimes that is to my detriment but other times it is where my longing soul connects with the Lord in ways I cannot do when I am so busy. I resonate with how the Lord described Mary in Luke 2:19. Mary treasured everything that was happening to her and meditated on them. 

As I have sat in a lot of quietness, the Lord has drawn my heart to the past Christmases of excitement and life on the go. I fondly recall the cookies and other treats made,  "reindeer food" put out on Christmas Eve, going to see Santa and the lights of Christmas, running around with friends to experience different traditions, and watching the excitement on our children's faces. This year my Momma's heart aches for that time again, but I know that life is full of changes. It is what I do with those changes that matter most.

For years I have celebrated the birth of our Savior with a "fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants" feeling. Everything was just so BUSY and the excitement all around me took away the quiet that I now do not know how to handle. The picture to the left is something I drew YEARS ago for my classroom - the cute baby Jesus asleep on the hay, in a manger made out of wood (which actually would have been made of stone), covered with a purple blanket because it's my favorite color because Christmas was so - SWEET - and because it was a warm and cozy good-feeling time of the year. So innocent. So welcoming. 

The Lord is using this time in my life to help me move past the busyness and common view of "sweet" Christmas to treasure more of Him in my heart and meditate on HIM. As my life begins this quieter journey of motherhood, I can help future generations understand the beauty of Emmanuel - God With Us.

Emmanuel.

God is always with us. 

He gives us what we need when we NEED it.

Mary and Joseph were shown a stable in which to bed down and that is where Jesus was born.  The first to be told of Emmanuel were the lowly, stinky, illiterate, nomadic Shepherds. These men were seen unfavorably by society because of their job of caring for sheep. These outcasts were not the sanitized view that I also have hanging on my wall at school (the Precious Moments shepherd - so cute), but they were some of the lowest of the low. However, Emmanuel's birth was revealed to them first. He understood their need. He understood what they could and could not understand. He gave them a SIGN of a babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger. These illiterate men who were society's outcasts were given the ability to understand God's plan of redemption in a way that made sense to them! They, the keepers of the sheep for the temple, would wrap perfect lambs that would become sacrifices in the temple and place them in the stable manger area. These same men who were not seen fit to enter the temple were the first to fall down and worship the Lamb of God who would take away the sins of the whole world.

The Lord continues to help me see that I am just like those Shepherds. I am lowly, "stinky", and unfit to enter His presence because of my sin. I am illiterate about Who He really is. I am "nomadic" in my trust in His plans for my life. Yet, HE came to ME. He will do what it takes to give me the SIGNS that He is Who He says He is. I just have to leave that pasture of busyness, search for Him, fall before Him, and adore Him. This quiet season is allowing me to do just that. I often wonder - could that have been some of what Mary was pondering in her heart? Could it have been the emotions of realizing she was holding HER Savior and she understood those shepherds' excitement? 

This time of year can be celebrated because God came DOWN. He will do whatever is needed to draw us to Him. 

Even giving a quiet emptiness that can only be filled by Him.

Praise, Indeed

The word the Lord gave me on which to meditate for this year was "praise." 

Praise was the word He gave me a few years back so I was actually surprised that He kept giving it to me for this year. I knew we would be praising the Lord with celebrations as our kids got married to the ones He had chosen for them so I figured He was just helping me have an easy word to take through the year! However, as I have walked through this year, the Lord has reminded me to praise Him - but in different ways than what I had previously thought. Yes, I praised the Lord for the weddings, but it was deeper than that. 

The verse the Lord gave me for my display on our mantle to keep "praise" in front of my family was Psalm 113:3 - 

"From the rising of the sun to its setting, let the name of the Lord be praised." 

Unfortunately, earlier in the year we had someone come help clean the house and they accidentally erased most of it off of my display area when dusting. Because there was so much going on between planning two weddings and teaching school, I just never had the energy to write it again. It still is more than halfway erased even though I had summer to fix it. 

However, in all of that time, I have looked at that display realizing I must praise the Lord from the rising of the sun to its setting - even when the words have been blurred and I can't see it. 

It is so easy to praise the Lord for what we can see. 

But we also must learn to praise Him when it is something in the story of our life that has been blurred and we CANNOT SEE. That form of praise is much harder. 

This year the Lord had me in a Bible study on the book of Isaiah. It was one of those studies I did not want to end. It taught me more deeply to strive less and trust the Lord more. During this study, the Lord revealed this verse in a deeper way.  He showed it to me during a set of circumstances that we just did not understand. A time when it was hard to praise Him for what was happening.

Psalm 12:2 (CSB) - 

"Indeed, God is my salvation; I will trust Him and not be afraid, for the Lord, the LORD HIMSELF is my strength and my song. He has become my salvation."

In context, this verse is part of a praise chapter in Isaiah. It is a song of praise for the Lord's deliverance of His people. Because I love to learn the importance of wording, I searched this verse in different versions of Scripture to see how it was conveyed. The way it is written in the CSB really resonated with what the Lord has been teaching me this year. 

All versions I looked up began this verse with "behold" - but the CSB beginning starts with "INDEED." 

I just had to look up what "indeed" means simply because there are so many words that we commonly use, but forget their true meaning.

According to Merriam-Webster "indeed" means:

• without any question: TRULY, UNDENIABLY
• in reality
• all things considered: as a matter of fact

This verse also repeats the Lord's name twice. In Scripture, anything said twice in a row gives greater emphasis to what is being communicated. Knowing that the Lord, the Lord Himself, is sovereign and in control of all that happens in our lives, we can praise Him, indeed.

Here is this verse as a song of praise using the words from the dictionary:

We can praise Him, INDEED, because without any question, truly, undeniably, in reality, and as a matter of fact it is THE LORD - The LORD HIMSELF - who is our strength, song, and salvation.

HE IS our strength in the struggles.

HE IS our song when we feel we have lost the ability to sing His praises.

HE IS our salvation through it all.

• The good and the bad. 
• The blurred lines of life. 
• The seen and unseen. 
• The highs and the lows. 
• The feelings of trust or doubt.

Praise HIM.

INDEED.

The Present

My Momma's Heart has continued to ponder over these last few months.

I have been thinking of THE PRESENT.

The present of my children.

The present of my life.

The present of my family.

The last few years have been a blur. The life we all have lived in this world for the last three (due to the pandemic) has been overwhelming and I have found that a lot of things have passed which caused me to not be able to retain the memory of that moment. I have had people ask if I remember something and I feel a loss in realizing I could not remember.

As both of our kids got married this summer, one thing the Lord kept putting on my heart was to be PRESENT. I wanted to remember. I wanted to ponder everything in my heart and keep it close. I purposely did that and will forever hold those memories in my heart. I savor every view, smell, or touch that I had on their very special days and the days leading up to the weddings. 

But as I have pondered on the present, I have always been concerned that I was not always present as Wesley and Mikayla were growing up. Having been a teacher all of their lives, I always felt like I had given more to my students each day than I had to my own children. 

I used to scrapbook. I wish I still had the time and energy to do so, but I am so glad that at least for the first five years of their lives, Wesley and Mikayla have their lives documented! As I have been thinking about how to put the present into words, the Lord led me to the pictures below. 

This was "the present" for a long time. Utter chaos! This was my scrapbooking area also known as our dining room. I was constantly trying to keep up with what Wesley and Mikayla were doing and recording it for posterity. 

All the while, I was thinking, and have also been thinking A LOT recently, that I was not always present in their growing years.

I look back and realize so many times were chaotic and rushed.

Rush to school. 

Rush to an appointment. 

Rush to a practice. 

Rush to get to bed. 

The moments are jumbled in my mind like the looks of my dining room in that picture!

But then I look at the picture posted below and see scattered pictures of "the present" of that specific time that I had captured. The Lord helped me see that in order to capture those pictures, I had to be present.

In that rush, I was still present with them. I may not remember every detail, but all of those details mesh together to create the PRESENT of where we are today. I would not take anything for that PRESENT of love and grace in my life!

As I continued to muse on this throughout the summer, the Lord showed me how my concerns and thoughts of being present as a Mom can apply to my spiritual life as well. 

Even though in the present I may not always think or feel that the Lord is there with me, HE IS. Because He is in my PAST and knows my FUTURE, that means THE PRESENT is always in front of Him. I can trust that He will never leave me or forsake me. I can know that in the scrapbook of my life, He has remembered everything and even if I forget, He never will.

The present is in His hands and that is the best present any of us could ever receive. We can trust and be grateful for the PRESENT of HIS love, grace, and faithfulness in our lives!