Fighting for Fake Pearls

I have been fighting to keep fake pearls. Let me explain.

If you have read my previous post, you know that our family has been praying for specific things. The Lord, in His wisdom, told us "no" to what we thought should be "yes" and "yes" to what we wanted to be "no."

It involves our son and his wife moving. Our precious newest daughter was accepted to a Vet School out of state. 

OUT OF STATE.

For this Momma, that has been a wrestling match for sure. I have never been far away from my children. I realize I am no different or more special than others who have to face the same things. It is just that we have never had anyone close to our immediate family to move so far away - this is new territory for sure! 

After having a few months to be still before the Lord and work through this plan the Lord has for them, I thought I was doing quite well with it all! I truly was feeling a "peace that passes all understanding."

But, the Lord revealed to me I had still not given up the fight.

If you know our son personally, you know that his dream has always been to raise beef cattle. He has worked hard to begin his business and make his dream a reality. His little herd was growing!

But then, our "NO" came - the Lord was allowing the move. While we were learning to accept this new plan, our son (and the rest of us, really) began asking: How could he take the beef cattle with him? Where would there be land near their new area of living while they are away with Vet School? 

Everywhere our son looked, called, contacted, and inquired, the answer came back with nothing available or no answer at all. My mind and heart were calling out to the Lord and asking Him to just make a way! God had not given him this dream, these beef cattle with all of his hard work, just to take it all away, had He? 

Then one night in my devotions before bed, the Lord had me read a verse that I have loved and have taught others many times. 

Psalm 46:10a - “Be still, and know that I am God." 

BE STILL. I have been still before the Lord during this whole process trying to accept all He has planned. But that night, it revealed a truth I had not wanted to see. In reading the CSB, Psalm 46:10a translates this way: 

Stop fighting, and know that I am God,

Here is the truth the Lord showed me: I was still fighting His plan. You see, our son told us he realized he would have to sell the cattle, and probably his little stock trailer he had restored. 

• The cattle for which he had worked so hard.
• The cattle that made me still feel close to my Daddy - as if part of him was still here on the land.
• The cattle where I could watch my son, my Daddy's namesake, work with those cattle like Daddy used to do.
• The little stock trailer he bought and restored to use with those cattle.
• The little stock trailer he painted red - Daddy's favorite color.
• The cattle that was my son's future.

On the outside, I was moving forward with the Lord's plan but inside I was fighting Him. I was still holding on to a part that I thought I knew was best. I was still forgetting I am NOT God.

Not long after reading this verse, the Lord recalled a little story I had read a long time ago. I have not been able to find the author, but here is the story:

Jenny and the Pearl Necklace - author unknown

"The cheerful girl with bouncy golden curls was almost five. Waiting

with her mother at the checkout stand, she saw them: a circle of glistening

white pearls in a pink foil box. “Oh please, Mommy. Can I have them?

Please, Mommy, please?”

Quickly the mother checked the back of the little foil box and then looked

back into the pleading blue eyes of her little girl’s upturned face.

“A dollar ninety-five. That’s almost $2.00. If you really want them,

I’ll think of some extra chores for you and in no time you can save enough

money to buy them for yourself. Your birthday’s only a week away and you might

get another crisp dollar bill from Grandma.”

As soon as Jenny got home, she emptied her penny bank and counted

out 17 pennies. After dinner, she did more than her share of chores and she

went to the neighbor and asked Mrs. McJames if she could pick dandelions for

ten cents. On her birthday, Grandma did give her another new dollar bill and

at last she had enough money to buy the necklace.

Jenny loved her pearls. They made her feel dressed up and grown up. She wore

them everywhere – Sunday school, kindergarten, even to bed. The only time she

took them off was when she went swimming or had a bubble bath. Mother said if

they got wet, they might turn her neck green.

Jenny had a very loving daddy and every night when she was ready for bed,

he would stop whatever he was doing and come upstairs to read her a story.

One night when he finished the story, he asked Jenny, “Do you love me?”

“Oh yes, Daddy. You know that I love you.”

“Then give me your pearls.”

“Oh, Daddy, not my pearls. But you can have Princess – the white horse

from my collection. The one with the pink tail. Remember, Daddy? The one

you gave me. She’s my favorite.”

“That’s okay, Honey. Daddy loves you. Good night.” And he brushed her cheek

with a kiss.”

About a week later, after the story time, Jenny’s daddy asked again,

“Do you love me?”

“Daddy, you know I love you.”

“Then give me your pearls.”

“Oh Daddy, not my pearls. But you can have my baby doll. The brand new

one I got for my birthday. She is so beautiful and you can have the yellow

blanket that matches her sleeper.”

“That’s okay. Sleep well. God bless you, little one. Daddy loves you”

And as always, he brushed her cheek with a gentle kiss.

A few nights later when her daddy came in, Jenny was sitting on her bed

with her legs crossed Indian-style. As he came close, he noticed her chin

was trembling and one silent tear rolled down her cheek.

“What is it, Jenny? What’s the matter?”

Jenny didn’t say anything but lifted her little hand up to her daddy. And when

she opened it, there was her little pearl necklace. With a little quiver, she

finally said, “Here, Daddy. It’s for you.” With tears gathering in his own

eyes, Jenny’s kind daddy reached out with one hand to take the dime-store

necklace, and with the other hand he reached into his pocket and pulled out a

blue velvet case with a strand of genuine pearls and gave them to Jenny. He

had them all the time. He was just waiting for her to give up the dime-store

stuff so he could give her the genuine treasure."

After reading this story again, the Lord reminded me that I was fighting Him so I could hold onto my son's dream the way I pictured it. I just never realized I was holding onto a strand of fake pearls. In the Lord's love and plan, He wants to give our family something of more value but I have still been holding tightly to and fighting for what I wanted to keep - those fake pearls. 

Even though we cannot see it all right now, He still has our son and new daughter in His hands and HE will do for them out of state more than WE could do or control here. 

To continue growing me, the Lord led me to my next devotion which was on the book of Habakkuk. Habakkuk was a prophet in Judah in the days before Babylon captured it. He was struggling with what the Lord was doing in sending His people away from their land. In the end, after the Lord so gently reminded Habakkuk of His plan, Habakkuk realized he just had to wait for the Lord's timing and realize God was not abandoning them - HE was in control. Here is what Habakkuk writes in chapter three verses 17-19a regarding what the future would hold for Judah while they were in captivity away from the land:

"Though the fig tree does not bud and there is no fruit on the vines, though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food, though the flocks disappear from the pen and there are no herds in the stalls, 

yet I will celebrate in the Lord; I will rejoice in the God of my salvation! 

The Lord is my strength;"

Habakkuk was seeing that even though the land would be desolate for those years of captivity, his hope was not in those things. His hope would only come through the Lord's strength.

Those fake pearls I have been fighting to hold must, through open hands, be willingly released to the Lord. Even though there will be no herds in the pastures of our land right now, even though things will be so different, "yet I will celebrate" and rejoice in the salvation and strength of the Lord who always knows what is best. He is waiting to give us what has greater value.