Abide

 Abide. 

This word is not commonly used in the modern English language. I usually do not share with someone I am "abiding" at my home. I simply say that I "live there." This lack of using the word sometimes causes us to fail at understanding the full meaning.

In recent months, the Lord has taught me much about this word. I always find it so interesting how the Lord gives me a word to meditate on and learn from each year. When I was asking Him to show me this year's word late last fall, I did not want to let go of the word He had given me from last year - TRUTH. I wanted to stay in that and continue to learn and grow. I wondered if I could just continue growing in truth. 

That is when His still small voice told me, "Abide." 

I felt comfort in that because it meant He just wanted me to stay in searching for truth from His Word. I knew enough about "abide" from John 15 that I actually took that word for granted. I was almost "disappointed" that such a "common" verse was going to be where He settled me for this year, as I always love to explore new truths in Scripture. Little did I realize how much more He would show me! 

In my previous post on "Wait," the Lord was already working to grow me more deeply into Him. He was beginning the process of showing me more of what abiding truly means.

When I researched the word abide, I found that it was an Old English word meaning: await, remain, lodge, sojourn, dwell, continue, and endure. In Greek, the word means "to remain." 

Of course, I already *knew* all of that for the most part. I guess I was expecting to have an epiphany of newness to emanate from the word itself. I then began to settle into John 15, and that is when the epiphany began - from the WORD Himself.

John 15:4-5

Abide in Me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself unless it abides in the vine, so neither can you unless you abide in Me.  

I am the vine, you are the branches; he who abides in Me and I in him, he bears much fruit, for apart from Me you can do nothing.

Let's sit with John 15:5a for a moment - I AM the vine, YOU are the branches. 

Guess what, I am NOT the vine. But many times in life, I seem to think I am.

JESUS is the VINE. The life support. The strength. The ability. The power. He is I AM.

Me? I am just a branch clinging to the vine for that support, strength, ability, and power. Just as a branch can fall off a tree and die, if I am not abiding in Him, I will be fruitless, broken, and deteriorate spiritually, mentally, emotionally, and even physically. 

When I depend on HIM, abide and remain, I will have the ability and strength to produce much fruit for HIS glory. I can do nothing without Him. I will have the strength to say "no" to Satan and fight the spiritual battle before me, the ability to overcome any circumstances, or just rest in HIM and His timing or purpose.

But all of those cannot happen without me ABIDING in HIM.

Over the years, the Lord has shown me how I have a strong tendency to want to control life and circumstances myself. That is putting myself as the vine - and I can never be that because within my human self there is no SOURCE for anything good. I have released so many areas of that "controlling" part of me to the Lord. Unfortunately, I know I am in constant need to stop the pride of my fallen and sinful nature that wants to take over and solve the problems myself. 

For 45+ years, I have dealt with a "thorn in the flesh" - an OCD behavior that has been debilitating at times. I have repeatedly prayed and asked the Lord to release me from it and just take it away. He never has. He has shown me ways to relieve some of the severity, but has never allowed me to be free from it. It has been my "self-soothing" for hard times, thinking times, or even times of experiencing "boredom." It has been "the help" for me as I have problem-solved and tried to walk through a hard season. I would cling to the OCD instead of fully abiding in my Savior to give me strength to overcome whatever I was facing. It became my "Jesus + the OCD because I know there is no "cure." I allowed it to be the first step to my comfort or a way to solve a problem. 

As I have meditated on "abide" this year, I have begun to realize that it is the way I can overcome my OCD behavior. I know that I will never get "rid" of this behavior, as it is a mental battle every day. Some days are easier than others, while other days leave me downright battle-tired. However, the Lord showed me in such a clear way this year that by abiding in HIM, I can fight that battle with His strength and rest in Him. My strength could never stop it, but His strength has now given me repeated success. I have learned to say "abide" when the urge to become obsessive begins. I cling to His strength and power to stop the behavior and settle into Him. It has even now transferred into other areas of my life that I had already been giving to the Lord, but now with deeper meaning. I will have to do this for the rest of my life, but that is what the Lord desires. 

He wants all of us to abide in HIM by: 

• dwelling
• resting
• sojourning
• lodging
• continuing
• enduring 
• remaining

When it is easy. When it is hard. When we are happy. When we are sad. When we have success. When we have failure. 

What is your need today for abiding in the only One Who can give you all that you need? What have you still been trying to control?

ABIDE in Jesus.

Wait

 In our culture today, WAIT is a detested word.

We either want to STOP completely or just GO do what we want to do.

Wait is always in the middle of stop and go - but who wants to wait?

When we see that yellow light pop up at the intersection, our first thought is to "squeeze that lemon!"

Let's be honest; in our humanness, to wait feels like a waste of time.

Who wants to: 

• wait in line?
• wait in traffic?
• wait for their package to arrive in the mail?
• wait for the next big thing?
• wait for a sickness to end?
• wait for a loved one to get back home?
• wait for a time of hardship to end?
• wait for their plans and dreams to be fulfilled?

In the last few years, the Lord has been stretching me and taking me out of my comfort zone of control in more ways than I can count. He has been making me WAIT for His timing and purpose in:

• Living through and trying to teach in the COVID years.
• Adjusting to life after the COVID years.
• My dad's sickness and death.
• Both of our "babies" getting married the same year within a couple of months.
• News of medical test results.
• Hearing if our daughter-in-love was accepted to our Vet school nearby.
• Knowing we had to wait four years until our son and daughter-in-love could move back home from where the Lord chose for her to attend Vet school.
• Adjusting to seeing our son and daughter-in-love from a distance of 8 hours.

I will be transparent - these moments have been overwhelming and a struggle. I have wanted them to end. I know I am not alone as I have many family, friends, and acquaintances who are walking through similar circumstances.

Recently, the Lord has continued His molding of me becoming more like Him through what I am learning in His Word, as well as these two books that He has led me listen to on Spotify: 

• God Does His Best Work with Empty by Nancy Guthrie 

and, most recently, 

• Waiting Isn't a Waste: The Surprising Comfort of Trusting God in the Uncertainties of Life by Mark Vroegop

The Lord has been using all of those waitings listed above - and even more that right now do not come to mind - to teach me to empty myself of what I *think* is best and WAIT on Him and His timing for all things.

There is an old saying, "Let go and let God." It is so easy to say and quote, but much harder to put into practice.

Let go of and let God DO - what? I want to know RIGHT NOW. I immediately want to know His plans, purpose, and how He will fulfill my desires. I do not want to have to wait for any of it!

But my desires are not always what God has planned. I do not see what He sees. I do not know what He knows. I am not Him.

I have gotten to the point in my walk with the Lord that I feel very inept in knowing what is best anymore. This is actually a good thing. In emptying out my own knowledge and replacing it with WAITING on the Lord's timing and plans, I am becoming less dependent on me and more dependent on the One who only wants the best for me.

Scripture teaches so many examples of waiting yet we do not always read it that way. It is easy for us to read through a passage of Scripture and notice the travails of Joseph as he is sold into slavery by his brothers, accused of wrongdoing, and sent to prison only to then be lifted up to the second-in-command of Egypt. We can read that portion of Scripture in just a few minutes. However, those portions of Scripture covered at least 20 years! 

If one only reads through the Psalms (and that is just one of many books), there are many references to waiting on the Lord. Here is just a small view of what can be found:

• Psalms 25:3 - Indeed, none who wait for you shall be put to shame; they shall be ashamed who are wantonly treacherous.
• Psalm 25:5 - Lead me in your truth and teach me, for you are the God of my salvation; for you I wait all the day long.
• Psalm 25:21 - May integrity and uprightness preserve me, for I wait for you.
• Psalm 27:14 - Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord!
• Psalm 37:7 - Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him; fret not yourself over the one who prospers in his way, over the man who carries out evil devices!
• Psalm 40:1 - I waited patiently for the Lord; he inclined to me and heard my cry.

In the emptying of MY thoughts, hopes, and dreams, and waiting on the Lord, He is teaching me the value of letting go and letting Him take care of the details. 

• To wait means to hope.
• To wait means to sit back and watch HIS plans unfold.
• To wait means to rest in Him.

That does not mean that every moment of waiting is a perfect scenario for me. It just means when my anxiousness begins to arise and my "hurry up!" attitude starts to surge to the surface, the Lord gently reminds me to stay close to Him and WAIT. Waiting is never a waste of time. Waiting is allowing God to put all things together in HIS time.

Where might you be waiting today? Hurry up and WAIT on the Lord. 💗

This song is part of the Album "Inhale (Exhale)" by Mercy Me. Most of the songs on this album were written during the COVID pandemic. The Lord taught me alot through that time of life. While I never want to go back to it, I am thankful for what the Lord showed me and how He grew me in the waiting.