My Momma's Heart has continued to ponder over these last few months.
I have been thinking of THE PRESENT.
The present of my children.
The present of my life.
The present of my family.
The last few years have been a blur. The life we all have lived in this world for the last three (due to the pandemic) has been overwhelming and I have found that a lot of things have passed which caused me to not be able to retain the memory of that moment. I have had people ask if I remember something and I feel a loss in realizing I could not remember.
As both of our kids got married this summer, one thing the Lord kept putting on my heart was to be PRESENT. I wanted to remember. I wanted to ponder everything in my heart and keep it close. I purposely did that and will forever hold those memories in my heart. I savor every view, smell, or touch that I had on their very special days and the days leading up to the weddings.
But as I have pondered on the present, I have always been concerned that I was not always present as Wesley and Mikayla were growing up. Having been a teacher all of their lives, I always felt like I had given more to my students each day than I had to my own children.
I used to scrapbook. I wish I still had the time and energy to do so, but I am so glad that at least for the first five years of their lives, Wesley and Mikayla have their lives documented! As I have been thinking about how to put the present into words, the Lord led me to the pictures below.
This was "the present" for a long time. Utter chaos! This was my scrapbooking area also known as our dining room. I was constantly trying to keep up with what Wesley and Mikayla were doing and recording it for posterity.
All the while, I was thinking,
and have also been thinking A LOT recently, that I was not always
present in their growing years.
I look back and realize so many times were chaotic and rushed.
Rush to school.
Rush to an appointment.
Rush to a practice.
Rush to get to bed.
The moments are jumbled in my mind like the looks of my dining room in that picture!
But then I look at the picture posted below and see scattered pictures of "the present" of that specific time that I had captured. The Lord helped me see that in order to capture those pictures, I had to be present.
In that rush, I was still present with them. I may not remember every detail, but all of those details mesh together to create the PRESENT of where we are today. I would not take anything for that PRESENT of love and grace in my life!
As I continued to muse on this throughout the summer, the Lord showed me how my concerns and thoughts of being present as a Mom can apply to my spiritual life as well.
Even though in the present I may not always think or feel that the Lord is there with me, HE IS. Because He is in my PAST and knows my FUTURE, that means THE PRESENT is always in front of Him. I can trust that He will never leave me or forsake me. I can know that in the scrapbook of my life, He has remembered everything and even if I forget, He never will.
The present is in His hands and that is the best present any of us could ever receive. We can trust and be grateful for the PRESENT of HIS love, grace, and faithfulness in our lives!
