The Woman in the Mirror

 I must begin with this verse:

I Samuel 16:7 But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”

Do you want to know how many times I have taught this verse to my students? How have I desired to help them understand that the outward appearance is not what is most important but it is the heart? How about at least 27 times for the 27 years I have been teaching on top of the "Momma Moments" I have shared it with my own children.

Why is it that it has taken me till just now to fully absorb this truth in a way the Lord kind of had to knock me over the head with it? As with anything with the Lord, I am accepting that this was my time to understand it more deeply so that I may also share this truth with others.

The other day, I was in a changing room in a store trying on clothes. The woman I saw in the mirror is NOT what I used to see. The woman in front of me had wrinkles and rolls. She could not fit into things that once would have been loose. She had to figure out her size was different and certain items did not fit the way they once did. I was frustrated with that woman. She was not who I thought I would be at this point in my life.

I would not call myself obese as I have now hit the "50 years" mark, but I also know I am not what I once was! In my younger days I was always skinny. The "I-can-eat-anything-I-want-and-still-be-skinny" skinny. If I wanted a burger, fries, and a shake, I would eat it and nothing was added to my outside figure. I did not have to exercise in order to maintain anything. I thought I would always enjoy that freedom. 

While I have learned with age that my body will never be that way again, it does not mean I have sat back and allowed everything to go out of control. I still want to eat as best as possible and exercise. Yet, even with all of that, I still am not able to be what I once was. That has been frustrating to me in so many ways - and I am sure many of you women reading this can relate. My husband can drop five pounds in one workout and I struggle to lose that amount in five months! 

However, in gazing at myself in that mirror, the Lord began to teach me more deeply I should be thankful for the woman I am seeing in the mirror. That woman is not the one she used to be on the outside - but she is definitely not the one on the inside, either. The freedom I now have is so much better than the bondage I now realize I had before. I have changed and it is good.

The skinnier version of me was not the healthiest on the inside. I thought I could ingest all kinds of "junk"  and still look the same on the outside. What I outwardly showed was actually a distorted view of the real me. The Lord had to help the skinny me actually put on some weight to make the inside of me healthier.

The skinnier me used to:

See herself as so much better than others because of what I looked like on the outside.

Never need to exercise because I could handle my weight and how I looked on my own.

Not understand how much a person's struggles defines them.

Spiritually eat the junk of this world and not change on the outside.

Think I could take a quick bite of Scripture and become a vision of loveliness.

The Lord had to put on some weight of struggle and hardship in my life to help me become a healthier me on the inside. My spiritual diet began to change when those struggles came along. 

The weight of struggle and hardship taught me to:

See in the mirror of God's Word who I really was - a broken and fragile human in need of grace from my Savior. 

Understand that I could not handle the weight of the world on my own. I needed the strength of the Lord during the struggles and hardships because those were the best exercises to give more definition to my spiritual muscles.

Spiritually feed on God's Word to strengthen me inwardly so that I would change and therefore show a different me on the outside, too. 

Find that slowly ingesting the rich nutrients of Scripture allows me to become that vision of loveliness.

So the me I used to know and see in that mirror is not really the me I want to be. While I still want to eat right and take care of my physical body because it is the Lord's temple, I also need to be thankful for the wrinkles, rolls, and not being able to fit into what I used to wear. Those things mean I have grown in the Lord. I am a woman who has had the Lord walk her through hard times, fears, sadness, griefs, and triumphs. I have gained valuable spiritual weight that has strengthened my heart and allowed me to be more beautiful in my outward appearance. 

To the woman in the mirror looking at me - you are more free and beautiful than you have ever been. While the outside looks a little different, be thankful. You are viewed by your Heavenly Father by what has changed on the inside.