Searching for 2020 Vision

Our son seems to struggle with keeping up with his glasses. He thinks he can go without them, but he has recently realized life is so much easier with them on your face.  We have found since he got them in third grade that it is hard to keep this boy in glasses. Unfortunately, contacts are not his favorite.

This year alone, our boy has gone through three pair - let me tell you the story. 

In February, he went for his eye exam and got an updated pair of glasses because his older ones had been lost, found, lost again, broken, etc. I figured since he was older now we would have greater success at keeping them in one piece and one place! 

He managed to lose those glasses, though.... only to find them a bit later in the side of his bed where his bed frame caught them. Whew. We dodged that one!

Move forward to the end of summer. He was working with some cows and had to chase one with a four-wheeler through a wooded area. He hit a tree root with that four-wheeler and went two-wheeling for a time and in the process, you guessed it, he lost his glasses. I get a phone call from him telling me the story. Well, some cow somewhere can probably see really well, but now my boy cannot see. 

Our boy decides to become resourceful and finds the pair we bought for him long ago when he was much younger and kept losing his glasses. When we got them (ordered them online), they were too big for his face, but now that he was older, they fit great! He was thrilled that he had solved his problem. Then, a few weeks later, he is out on our property putting up fencing for his future cows. He was working hard.... and those glasses fell out of a pocket and were gone. I thought he was joking when he told me. By now, this is just getting comical.

He then had to resort to a pair of glasses he had in fifth grade...but he left them on the den floor, stepped on them and broke one of the arms. He fixed it by putting an ear string from a face mask on each side and strapping them to his head. It was comical to say the least.

A couple of weeks ago he was out on the fence line at dark. He said he felt a nudge to go look for those glasses again that he lost when out working on the property. He got out his cell phone and turned on the flashlight and said, "Lord, it would really be great if I could find those glasses so I can see again." Within a few minutes, the Lord showed him where they were - stuck in the ground and caked in mud. He was so excited! He cleaned them off and was able to see again, then called me to tell me the good news. He has since lost them a few more times but found them again. While we could get irritated that he loses his glasses so much, we have come to accept that this is part of his life right now. It is a learning experience where he will be responsible for future glasses. 

But then...it occurred to me that this year of 2020 has felt like the story of our son losing his glasses. 

I have felt the 2020 vision of the Lord's guidance has been lost, then found, then lost again only to be found later covered in the mud of the year we have all faced. I have tried to cling to them, only to drop them somewhere and not find them for a time.

2020 is supposed to be perfect vision but this year has seemed anything but that.

I have joined the many people who have struggled to see the meaning of it all. 

I have felt my vision of a normal life fade. 

I have struggled to see clearly out of the glasses I have used in previous years. 

Some days seemed comical with the events around me. For a time, I was hanging on to the glasses while chasing life on a four-wheeler through a wooded area. Then, out of nowhere, a hidden root of a circumstance made my four-wheeler go two-wheeling and those glasses fell off. I was driving with a blurred view of my surroundings. 

I have tried to strap on some "string" of Scripture to my glasses so they can still hang on my face and allow me to see His Truths. I have used the Light of His Word to find the strength to see each day.

This year of 2020 has been a hard one to really SEE what is going on with clear vision.

But maybe that is what the perfect vision of 2020 was to show me. 

I cannot see without HIM. I cannot strap on His vision with my own strength or ideas. I must allow Him to hold the glasses of His truths on my face because I lose things easily in my human nature. 

When my glasses of what was going on around me were lost, mud-caked, and I could not see, He shone His light of Scripture so I could find them again. He helped me clean them off and see again. By Scripture I could see His hand of hope, mercy, or love on my situations.  Some days were clearer than others.

But that is what faith is all about - hoping without always seeing.

Hebrews 11:1 (ESV) - Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.

I find that I am still cleaning off the mud that has been caked on throughout this year. I have learned more deeply how to cling to the One who can give sight to the blind because 2020 has felt like one blind-sighted moment after another. 

 1 Corinthians 2:9 (CSB) - What no eye has seen, no ear has heard, and no human heart has conceived—God has prepared these things for those who love him.

2 Corinthians 4:7-9 (ESV) - But we have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us. We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed;

2 Corinthians 4:16-18 (ESV) - So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal. 

My prayer for 2021 is remember the 2020 vision the Lord gave me this year, and see more clearly that He is faithful, steadfast, and my only HOPE. Here is a quote from one of the books the Lord has had me re-read lately that sums up 2020:

"Although we may feel that we're taking a blind step of faith into an uncertain future, with each successive step that we take, we will experience God's faithfulness and we'll develop the faith that learns to trust God, regardless of what we 'see.' This is the kind of faith that saves. It's faith that responds to God's Promises and moves forward. Faith causes you to know in your heart before you see with your eyes." - Cherie Hill - Be Still: Let Jesus Calm Your Storms

2 Corinthians 5:7 - for we walk by faith, not by sight.