Do you trust me?..... I DON'T KNOW

This word.

Many times we use that word without really thinking about what it means.

Sometimes people have lost that word and do not know where to find it.

I experienced a spin on this yesterday at school that caused me to muse over the word and dig a little deeper.

I have actually written about something similar a few years ago, but what happened yesterday took it further.

As I have begun my new school year with new little ones I know that trust is a huge thing they are learning about me.

Some of my precious ones have never met me before.

Some knew me from the hallways but did not know exactly who I am.

Yesterday we went outside and I went through areas on the playground that I know can be difficult for the children.

There is actually FEAR in some little hearts about playing on some of the playground equipment.

Because I know this, I want to help my precious ones overcome some of their fears so that they will be able to enjoy outside time even more.  They will be able to accomplish things that will grow them physically, but also grow their confidence.

One such area is a climbing apparatus we call "the volcano".  This is basically a climbing wall that is shaped kind of like a volcano.  Climbing is hard stuff.  For a second grader, sometimes climbing this wall can be as big as someone telling me to climb a mountain with no safety leads.

I continue to tell my precious ones that I will be there if they need me.  Many of them scaled up one side with no problem and handled going down the opposite side in the same way.  They were successful immediately.

Others did well with climbing up, but coming down was a different matter.  There was a need of reassurance.  There was a need of knowing I was there on the other side cheering them onward.

Then there were the ones who were just looking at that "mountain" and did not see how they were going to even begin the climb.  Such a small piece of equipment in my eyes was Mount Everest to their little hearts.

My last precious one was like this last description.  She was petrified.

As I stood beside her on the ground looking up I told her I was right there with her.  I would never leave her and would be there to support her.  She could do it!  She was finally convinced enough to begin the climb, with me holding her underneath, and successfully placed both feet on the top landing.

SUCCESS!

Now for the downward climb.  I raced around the equipment to meet her on the other side.

Only, this time it was not a simple task to convince her she would be fine on the descent.

Let's stop and think.... going down is a backward maneuver. There is no way for you to correctly grasp the climbing hold if you are facing outward.  You also need to be able to place your feet on each hold as you go down.

That means you are going down "blind" in a way.  You are not able to really see the next hold - you have to trust that it is there.

This terrified my precious one. While she saw she made it to the top,  she could not see how she would get down the other side.  The ladder on the side of the equipment was her easy solution - and one she was convinced was the only way down for her.

The teacher in me knew that learning this new skill would benefit her more than she would ever know. I also knew I was right there and would help her down so she did not need to fear.

I stood on the holds of the side of that climbing wall for a long time talking with this precious one.  She was convinced that she couldn't do it.  She was tearful because of the fear she was facing.

I was there, holding her, telling her she could do it.  I was going to hold her the whole way.

I asked her "Do you trust me?".....

"I DON'T KNOW!" was her answer.

As I am holding her tightly, this precious one still could not understand I would not let her fall.  I would be right below her guiding every step she took on those holds.  She was so afraid of what might happen she couldn't feel my tight arms around her waiting to bring her down the other side.

No matter what I said, how I said it, or God's truths I shared, there was no convincing this sweet one that she could trust me.

I asked the Lord to help me know a way to get her down.  I knew the ladder was the easy way, but the confidence she needed to gain would be lost.

He then gave me an idea.

"How about we go down together?  You face me, hold me tight, and I will carry you down."

"OK...." replied that gentle, sweet voice.

Immediately the tears changed to more of trust when she turned to face me and held my neck.  I told her to hold on tight and I would do the same.

The next minute, she was over the edge.  She was coming down the other side with me holding her while she held my neck.

After the first step she said "I CAN DO IT!".... and she certainly did.  She turned backward at this point and began to make her descent.  And I was there the whole time making sure her feet met the holds.

When she got down there was a beam of light radiating from her face because she realized she had done something she never thought she would do.  I picked her up and twirled her around.  I kissed her head.  I felt a surge of love for this precious one that she would never know.

She did what she thought she could not.

And she learned to trust me in the process.

This whole scene revealed to me a deeper knowledge of how the Lord sees me when He is challenging me or pushing me to do something that is hard.  I am unsure of how to trust Him to find the first step.

I am going down "blind" in this hard circumstance.

The Heavenly Father knows that facing this new challenge would benefit me more than I would ever know. He also knows He is right there and will help me down so I never need to fear.

He is there holding me and asking me "Do you trust me?" and many times I shout out to Him, "I DON'T KNOW!"

But He never gives up.  He continues to give me His truths.

Then He tells me to hang on and He will carry me through it.

My confidence in HIM changes everything.  Not only has He showed me how I could walk through a hard time I did not think I could handle, but HE HELD ME through it all.  He brought me down the other side of the rock wall of my circumstance.

When I did not think He was there, He always was.

He taught me to trust Him more. The hard times are worth it because my trust in Him strengthens.



Are you facing a backward descent of a "rock wall" circumstance?

Remember, God is there holding you as you begin - and carrying you if needed.  The way may be hard and uncertain, but the finish is more rewarding than you could ever dream possible.

TRUST HIM.

He is waiting to twirl you around, kiss your head, and show you a love you would never have known if you had not learned to trust Him alone.