05/05/14

Today has been one of those days.

One of those days that as a parent you realize it "ain't for sissies."

One of those days where you wonder if you are doing it right.

One of those days where you are wondering if you are doing it all wrong.

Fast forward to the end of the day....

It was a busier afternoon after school than I had planned.  Several errands were run and one errand was not planned until last minute.

I had papers to grade and other things to get done in the house.

I got the papers graded, but not the other...

I needed to exercise, but honestly was quite tired.  These allergies this year are really getting to me.  I felt drained... physically and parentally.  (new word I made up....)  I truly had already talked myself out of exercising for today and I would make up for it tomorrow.

The Lord called me outside.

It was close to dark, though.

I couldn't go far and feel safe by myself.

I began walking around the barns and up and down our driveway.  It wasn't the workout I normally do, but at least it was something.

Then this song came on and the Lord reminded me why I was outside:


He drew me to Him.  He drew me to His Creation.

I normally am not someone who just goes out and stares into the sky at night, but He showed me tonight I needed that reminder of His Creation when it's getting dark.

The moon was out by the time I finished my walk and I began counting stars.... just two stars and a planet lit up the sky.

I began to recall the quote from Amy Carmichael, missionary to India, who shared that the stars are always shining, even in the daytime, but it isn't until it is darkest that you actually see them.  Those stars represent the treasures we gain through the dark times in life.

I had to run inside and take care of a couple of things, but the Lord drew me back outside to sit on the deck.

I took the time to be still before Him again in a way I normally do not do.

I stared at the moon and stars.

I began to watch as more and more stars appeared.

I saw how the moon beamed so brightly even though it isn't quite at half.

I felt like I was just alone with the Lord.

It brought tears to my eyes.

It brought a joy to my soul.

It brought an awe of the Lord to my heart that I had allowed to become ordinary.

This will be one of those nights I will remember.

I didn't walk away from that display of God's Creation tonight having all my questions answered or my parental struggles solved.

What I did walk away with tonight was a closeness.  A closeness to my Savior that HE is there, and He will be giving me the treasures all along the way of my trials.

I just have to take the time to look up.