Sunday, March 10, 2024
Pouring In
Sunday, December 24, 2023
Quiet Christmas Meditations
Monday, September 04, 2023
Praise, Indeed
The word the Lord gave me on which to meditate for this year was "praise."
Praise was the word He gave me a few years back so I was actually surprised that He kept giving it to me for this year. I knew we would be praising the Lord with celebrations as our kids got married to the ones He had chosen for them so I figured He was just helping me have an easy word to take through the year! However, as I have walked through this year, the Lord has reminded me to praise Him - but in different ways than what I had previously thought. Yes, I praised the Lord for the weddings, but it was deeper than that.
The verse the Lord gave me for my display on our mantle to keep "praise" in front of my family was Psalm 113:3 -
"From the rising of the sun to its setting, let the name of the Lord be praised."
Unfortunately, earlier in the year we had someone come help clean the house and they accidentally erased most of it off of my display area when dusting. Because there was so much going on between planning two weddings and teaching school, I just never had the energy to write it again. It still is more than halfway erased even though I had summer to fix it.
However, in all of that time, I have looked at that display realizing I must praise the Lord from the rising of the sun to its setting - even when the words have been blurred and I can't see it.
It is so easy to praise the Lord for what we can see.
But we also must learn to praise Him when it is something in the story of our life that has been blurred and we CANNOT SEE. That form of praise is much harder.
This year the Lord had me in a Bible study on the book of Isaiah. It was one of those studies I did not want to end. It taught me more deeply to strive less and trust the Lord more. During this study, the Lord revealed this verse in a deeper way. He showed it to me during a set of circumstances that we just did not understand. A time when it was hard to praise Him for what was happening.
Psalm 12:2 (CSB) -
"Indeed, God is my salvation; I will trust Him and not be afraid, for the Lord, the LORD HIMSELF is my strength and my song. He has become my salvation."
In context, this verse is part of a praise chapter in Isaiah. It is a song of praise for the Lord's deliverance of His people. Because I love to learn the importance of wording, I searched this verse in different versions of Scripture to see how it was conveyed. The way it is written in the CSB really resonated with what the Lord has been teaching me this year.
All versions I looked up began this verse with "behold" - but the CSB beginning starts with "INDEED."
I just had to look up what "indeed" means simply because there are so many words that we commonly use, but forget their true meaning.
According to Merriam-Webster "indeed" means:
- without any question: TRULY, UNDENIABLY
- in reality
- all things considered: as a matter of fact
This verse also repeats the Lord's name twice. In Scripture, anything said twice in a row gives greater emphasis to what is being communicated. Knowing that the Lord, the Lord Himself, is sovereign and in control of all that happens in our lives, we can praise Him, indeed.
Here is this verse as a song of praise using the words from the dictionary:
We can praise Him, INDEED, because without any question, truly, undeniably, in reality, and as a matter of fact it is THE LORD - The LORD HIMSELF - who is our strength, song, and salvation.
HE IS our strength in the struggles.
HE IS our song when we feel we have lost the ability to sing His praises.
HE IS our salvation through it all.
- The good and the bad.
- The blurred lines of life.
- The seen and unseen.
- The highs and the lows.
- The feelings of trust or doubt.
Praise HIM.
INDEED.
Saturday, August 19, 2023
The Present
My Momma's Heart has continued to ponder over these last few months.
I have been thinking of THE PRESENT.
The present of my children.
The present of my life.
The present of my family.
The last few years have been a blur. The life we all have lived in this world for the last three (due to the pandemic) has been overwhelming and I have found that a lot of things have passed which caused me to not be able to retain the memory of that moment. I have had people ask if I remember something and I feel a loss in realizing I could not remember.
As both of our kids got married this summer, one thing the Lord kept putting on my heart was to be PRESENT. I wanted to remember. I wanted to ponder everything in my heart and keep it close. I purposely did that and will forever hold those memories in my heart. I savor every view, smell, or touch that I had on their very special days and the days leading up to the weddings.
But as I have pondered on the present, I have always been concerned that I was not always present as Wesley and Mikayla were growing up. Having been a teacher all of their lives, I always felt like I had given more to my students each day than I had to my own children.
I used to scrapbook. I wish I still had the time and energy to do so, but I am so glad that at least for the first five years of their lives, Wesley and Mikayla have their lives documented! As I have been thinking about how to put the present into words, the Lord led me to the pictures below.
This was "the present" for a long time. Utter chaos! This was my scrapbooking area also known as our dining room. I was constantly trying to keep up with what Wesley and Mikayla were doing and recording it for posterity.Friday, April 28, 2023
Letting Go
I am feeling like those Momma cows were voicing - a deep emotional bellow. I am finding that no one can prepare you for what it means to fully "let go."
How can one put into words what it really means to let go? Could it be right now that my inward bellowing is another facet of how the Holy Spirit understands our groaning as Romans 8:26 speaks?
"In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans."
My pondering has been all over the place. I have gone back in time to when they were born all the way up to the last second I saw them and the interactions that took place. I can see a picture of them, of which I have many, and it will take me to that moment. That memory. That clinging. However, at each moment I observe I am reminded that I have been constantly letting go from the first time I held them in my arms:
the nursery
the first crawls and walks
the first words
the first holidays
the first toddler moments
the first day of Kindergarten
the first lost tooth
the first day of being out of "my" building at school and into the Elementary
the first of many "Mom, I need...."
the first day of middle school
the first day of hormones (and all that comes with it!)
the first day of high school
the first crush
the first heartache
the first (of many) long talks and discipling with God's Word
the first day of driving
the first prom
the high school graduation (which was bad enough....)
the first day of college
the first day of meeting their special one the Lord has given to them and realizing everything was changing
the first day after they were engaged....to my almost last day of them living completely under my roof.
I find myself trying to live in the past, present, and future all at the same time.
But only God can do that!
My emotions never know right now whether to laugh or cry; whether to rejoice or be sad.
All of what is happening is GOOD and ordained by God's plan. Just like my son knows that separating those Momma cows from their calves is part of life and necessary, so too is this moment with my own babies.
But the inward bellowing is a real thing. The cows just seem to voice it more easily than me.
No longer am I my son's first love. His wife will take that roll, as it should be, and they will become their own family.
No longer am I my daughter's first call (or first shopping buddy). Her husband will be the one she reaches out to first because that is what is ordained when they leave and come together as one.
I am trusting the Lord as I take their hands out of mine and put them completely into His. I just never knew when I held them the first time how hard that would actually be.
It is taking my trust in the Lord to a whole new level.
But isn't that what life is all about? Isn't that what He reminds us so often in His Word that there will be hard things and times we must let go?
But there is a truth that He shows us more strongly during these times:
HE never lets US go.
I am thankful that while I am having to let them go and He holds them tightly, He is holding onto me, too.
My bellowing Momma's heart is clinging to that truth.
Saturday, December 31, 2022
Changes of Praise
This year, 2022, the Lord gave me the word "devotion" on which to think and grow. It has been a year of learning more devotion to Him, my family, my work, and those around me. This does not mean that I have not been a devoted person beforehand, as my heart's desire is to always be faithful. The last two years were such a distraction to my heart and soul that I needed this year to heal and process all that the Lord taught me when I was clinging to Him with everything I had.
For this coming year, the Lord is making it clear that the words on which He desires for me to ponder are praise and change.
Praise is craved. Praise is uplifting. Praise is effortless when life is going as planned.
While change is part of life, some can be viewed as welcome and exciting; others are overwhelming and exhausting.
The words of praise and change take me back to the fall of the year. Every year this season is a hectic time for me with school and other responsibilities. I rarely get the chance to view it at a slower pace. This past fall, the Lord gave me time to absorb and capture the color palette around me. It inspired my soul to view the colorful changes happening before my eyes. The Lord began to use these visual changes of fall to teach me about what He was preparing for me in the new year.
The following photograph was taken long ago before so many changes happened near our home. This is a favorite picture to which I refer back to time and again.
There is nothing like the peak season of the leaves showing off their brilliance. The beauty that is seen is majestic and photographic. It is a time of praise to our Creator for the glory He shows us before the winter season.
Saturday, September 10, 2022
Focused Eyes
I am a strong visual learner, so my eyesight is a large part of how I experience the world around me. In the last couple of years, I tried to focus on what the Lord was allowing me to view of life. Like all those around me, I could only view what was right in front of me just to survive. It was literally a step-by-step process and there was no viewing of a bigger picture. There was no time to "stop and smell, or view, the roses."
This year, the Lord has shown me how I can see Him again with more focused eyes. He has shown me how to look back on the last two years and see how He was always there focusing my vision even when I thought everything I saw was out of focus.
And He revealed this deeper truth to me using a bee.
If you know me personally, you know how much I love to photograph God's Creation. The details always fascinate me. To view those details up close, I use my macro lens which allows me to view what I see with magnification. At different seasons I love to capture what is on display. This summer was no different and I had the chance to aimlessly wander around and view the beauty. As I was focused on certain plants, the bees caught my eye. They were everywhere doing their God-given job of pollinating and bringing new life to the world around us, so I began to photograph them.
Bees, like most insects, have three simple eyes and two compound eyes. They have the ability to see all colors except for red but can see lesser hues of red such as oranges or yellows. They also have the capability to see ultraviolet light which is not a feat for human eyes. The ability to see ultraviolet light allows the bee to see details hidden in the plants that are unseen to the human eye. Bees use their simple eyes to guide them in the right direction. Those simple eyes can use the sun, even on a cloudy day, to navigate where they are in their area, and it can also lead them back home. The compound eyes of the bee allow it to have the ability to focus on a plant even when it is windy or if there are other distractions. They never miss their mark and always do their purposed work.
As I kept photographing the bees, I could not help but think of the verse the Lord gave me for this year on which to meditate:
Psalm 119:37(CSB) - Turn my eyes from looking at what is worthless; give me life in your ways.
Sometimes I struggle to keep my eyes from looking at what is worthless. I focus on what is simply seen instead of using the compound eyes of Scripture to have a clear focus of what is shown to me. That lack of focus can happen through events in daily living, the news, social media, or the comparison trap.
The Lord used this verse, and the bees, to deepen my understanding of what He has been showing me in the past two years. There are a lot of worthless things in this world, but if I keep my eyes focused on the guiding light of the Son, even when it appears the clouds of life have covered Him, I will always be headed in the right direction. This "ultraviolet" focus will reveal details that can only be seen when viewed through the light of Scripture no matter the distractions surrounding my circumstances. I must trust that the Lord will use His ultraviolet light to reveal the details that can be easily missed with my humanness.
So, see like a bee.
Focus on the life-giving Word of the Lord and the worthless things will grow dim in the light of His glory and grace.
(Because bees fascinate me, if you want to read more about them, here is an article I read to understand them more: How Bees See and Why It Matters)